Granted, they're dead

I wish l could skip forward time one hour at a time by meditating for the duration

Granted, but it spawns directly in your brain.

I wish all of the threads on ”Forum Games” forum are double as active as they are right now.

that takes 50 years to happen but it will happen

i wish that i can teleport into any book series and back at will

Your time in the book series is quite dull, being pasted to a piece of paper.

I wish for complete invincibility.

Yes, you teleport inside the book, meaning you destroy the book instantly, and you must have line of sight for the power to activate, and only you teleport, meaning you’re naked on the other side. That one was three twists for the price of one!

I wish people would never use the ”the wish happens many years later” twist, in the forum game ”Twist the Wish”.

Edit: We posted at the same time, twisting the same wish, next person, I guess just pick which wish you want to twist?

Granted, but your idea of ”optimized fun” is now pouring over spreadsheets in the middle of the game to find the optimal way to have fun, which leads to everyone at the table except you being miserable.

I wish I had the Legendary Bundle for D&D Beyond

You get the Legendary Bundle for D&D Beyond, but it costs you $480.05

I wish I (also my players) could post more often

Granted, you and your players now get 3 fewer hours of sleep every night.

I wish I could find a group of 5 other people to play D&D 5E with, that wanted to play with me, and had the time to play, and were all nice, and one of them loves to DM.

yes, they all have the time to play but never at the same time

i wish that apple would reinstall the headphone jack on all future iPhone models

your wish is granted. however they refuse to play unless you make and update their character sheets for them

I wish I actually had friends

Granted! You have friends now. You are so happy you give them everything you own to keep them and you starve.

I wish to be able to wish like this in real life.

Granted! Now you can wish to be able to wish to be able to wish to be able to...

     ERROR. INFINITE LOOP DETECTED. SEARCHING FOR SOURCE OF ERROR...

     FOUND SOURCE OF ERROR, TERMINATING SOURCE OF ERROR...

     ERROR SOURCE TERMINATED. CLOSING TROUBLESHOOTER...

I wish I had an infinite supply of bomb pops (I have a suspicion I know how this is going to go...)

But the they all weird, disgusting flavors and you can't eat anything else...

I wish my wallet could afford what I'd like, and I'd be able to enjoy what I buy

Now your wallet can afford what you'd like, and you can enjoy what you buy! Sadly, your wallet won't loan you any money because it's stingy. Oh, and you're dead broke.

I wish I had an infinite supply of infinite supplies.

Granted, but the supplies are are so frail and/or terrible that they can't be used.

I wish that I can buy 50 bags of fertilizer in animal crossing all at once...

Granted! You have now purchased 50 bags of fertilizer in animal crossing and - wait, what’s that smell?

I wish for a plastic isocahedron with a number between 1 and 20 written on each side, no number being repeated.

but it is weighted so you can only roll a 1.

I wish that I could be able to tell the time without having to look at a clock/watch.