You are King.....King of the Bog of Eternal Stench!

I wish to have the skills of Batman with no drawbacks

No one will draw your back.  That doesn't mean nothing bad will happen to you as a result of your wish. 

I wish someone on here would ask me why I wished I was paranoid. 

People ask why your paranoid but you cant tell them why

I wish that I was a Halfling

 You become a halfling.  A shady government organization kidnaps you and dissects you to study.

I wish that people would act rationally.

All creatures considered people die.

I wish my silver cross white Dragon wasn't terrified of fire.

Wish granted.  It is now petrified of fire. 

I wish I had a chance to tell someone why I wished I was paranoid.  

You get the chance, but you didn't know it.

(Ok, fine. Why do you want to be paranoid?)

I wish to have better coding.

(There's a difference between being paranoid and just thinking the universe is out to get you.  The difference is whether or not you're right.)

You are now programmed very well. 

I wish I was better at thinking up wishes. 

Wish granted! You now know that making wishes is foolish and you never wish anymore so that your wishes won't be twisted.

I wish that for a giant Nerf gun to shoot EVERYONE with.

You get the gun but there is nothing powerful enough to propel the dart.  Also it is as large as the moon and crashes into the Earth killing everyone.

I to control light.

You forgot the word wish, so nothing happens. 

I wish more people laughed at my jokes. 

Everyone laughs at your jokes, but to an amount that is so massively excessive that you go permanently deaf.

I wish that I suddenly gain enough money to buy the call of cthulu keepers manual.

You gain enough money to buy what? Manual of Cthulhu's Keeper? Cthulhu and the rest of the keepers deem you unfit to be a keeper so when you finally buy it, you are struck by lightning 14 times and die.

I wish that Marty Friedman would rejoin Megadeth

Everyone else quits. 

I wish fewer people liked obnoxious "music". 

No one likes music at all.

I wish to control darkness.

The way you control darkness is by carrying around a light that you can brighten or dim at any time.  It doesn't do much.

I wish to have an invisible servant.

Your servant is now invisible. As a result, you keep bumping into him and he wants a pay raise.

I wish for an infinite jug of beer.

It accidentally tips, spilling millions of gallons a minute. You, and every other being, drown in it. 

I wish for a friendly drake.

You get an interview with the "rapper" Drake, but he's a lot friendlier now. Sadly, the interview lasts only 30 minutes and sets you back 3 hundred dollars.

I wish for an unfriendly tarrasque

It kills you. 

I wish for $300.