Granted. But you have horrible night terrors.

I wish for a nice cold glass of milk.

I used to get night terrors a lot… they were so bad I would lock myself in the bathroom, and I refused to let anyone near me… 

Granted! You have three gallons of milk in your fridge, now go drink some 

I wish for donuts

Granted. But they're extremely greasy.

I wish for the ability to turn into a wolf. 

And that you can! But it is at random 

I wish to be a Catboy trap from a certain isekai anime with twins

Granted. But your transformation is hijacked after you get a cold and all your classmates start wearing "Save Ferris" t-shirts and watch Ferris Bueler's Day Off instead of the anime.*

I wish I had telekenesis.

*Not gonna lie, I was... hesitant to do research that would help corrupt that wish.

*sips tea in re:Zero* 

you break things with your mind when angry, once you broke someone’s ribs 

I wish to know how to do the naruto hand signs 

Granted. But now you're permanently blocked from learning how to Naruto Run. 

I wish I had some fluffy socks. 

Good wish bro, nothing goes wrong we get matching fluffy socks 

I wish I could pet cats without them scratching me or running away from me

Granted but the cats have sporotrichosis.

I wish I didn't have allergies.

You no longer have allergies, but you now have Covid 

i wish I would stop coughing

Granted. But it's replaced with sneezing.

I wish the dishes would do themselves. 

Good wish bro, nothing goes wrong 

I wish I had infinite gaming time

(me too) You get infinite gaming time, so you play forever, not eating, sleeping, living... you die shortly after your 67th hour of gaming time.

I wish for the avatar pool to actually work for once so I can change my pfp 

Granted. But you get stuck with the image of your least favorite historical figure as you pfp.

I wish I could hit high notes so as to be able to sing some of my favorite songs without lowering them down an octave.

Granted! You now have the world's highest voice forever.

I wish for a hot dog

Granted. You get a Rottweiler with a fever.

I wish for the weather to make up its mind on whether it wants to storm or not.

Granted, a hurricane sweeps through the area where you live, destroying everything within a 100 mile radius.

I wish not to be socially awkward.

You are no longer are socially awkward, but now get extreme anxiety at night wondering if what you did in public was stupid 

I wish I didn’t have a panic attack

Granted. You travel to a remote island where you are taught the ways of  not being socially awkward. But the hurricane from my corrupted wish comes along, destroys the docks, and leaves you stranded on that remote island where you newfound lack of social awkwardness languishes with disuse. 

I wish for a nice warm and heavy blanket.

The blanket glitchtes, for you are in the matrix 

i wish for my dnd group to contact me for once and tell me when the campaign is because I have no clue what’s happening when