Granted. You're the best ever at multitasking that there was. That's why you've been assigned 139,938,213 tasks to be doing all at once 24/7/365.

I wish I hadn't substituted breakfast and lunch with leftover potato salad. (I like it, but it's leaving me fuller than I intended in a bad way.)

Instead you substituted 40 oz sirloin steaks for breakfast lunch and are so full you might explode 

I wish for crepes

Granted you just explode for no reason I just felt like it

I wish for fruity pebbles

Granted, you get small rocks with juice stains on them

I wish for infinite credits on the AI image generator, Wepik

Granted, but you can only use one of those infinity per year

I wish for free D&D books for life

Granted, however you can only use them for life, not D&D. So you can use them as bookmarks, doorstops, step stools ect.

I wish to be able to use as many credits as I want at any time. 

Granted, you receive infinite Imperial Credits, but you don’t live in Star Wars so they’re useless.

I wish to have any item I need for the rest of my life at no cost or price without any repercussions

Yes, but only items you need, not items you want.

I wish that it rained money

Granted money has no meaning anymore it is simply paper that slowly pollutes the earth as no body cared to clean it

I wish for everyones dad to come back with milk

Granted. The sudden teleportation of all those men, many of whom were working in critical positions, leads to mass chaos and destruction. Airplanes suddenly bereft of pilots crash. Trucks bereft of drivers slam into crowded malls. Doctors in the midst of surgery are poofed away leading to undesirable surgical outcomes. And so on.

I wish for ice cream.

Your ice cream is garlic flavor, and everyone in your life abandons you upon realizing you are a vampire.

I wish for a hug

You get hugged by space itself. It can't tell how much is too much, and you are "instantaneously zonked into your component molecules." (who got that reference? Hint: it involves a restaurant, the end of the universe, and a guy from Betelgeuse named after a car)

I wish for $1000.

You have $1000. Someone beats you up and steals it

I wish for $1000 that cannot be stolen

Granted. That anonymous stranger buries their $1000 so it can't be stolen, but promptly forgets its location after a mild Christmas-related concussion.

I wish Earth's moon had a second, smaller moon made of mozzarella cheese that orbits it.

Granted. This new moon messes up the tidal forces and causes massive death and destruction on the face of Earth.

I wish to emerge as one the elite rulers of this post-calamity Earth.

You are the sole being left, thus making you foremost among them.

I wish to be immune to emotional damage

Granted. You simply don't have any emotions to damage anymore.

I wish people's names were like usernames, in that they are unique to each person and can never be reused.

Granted. Due to these naming conventions, your name is now Tw0faaaset0nie, as that is the closest available name.

I wish for my name, in its current form, to be unique to me.

Granted. Everyone else who has the same first name as you is Thanos snapped out of existence, and there is a World War in the aftermath.

I wish for the power of teleportation that can be used as often as I wish without issues, to anywhere in the universe, and that I can take up to 10 people with me, and that I have perfect control over this power

Granted. You have this perfect, flawless power. It only lasts 1 minute though.

I wish people would stop going out of their way to try to remove all possible creativity from the 'Forum Games' threads on this website.