Is my command. 

We just have to twist it. 

I wish people had been making wishes these last few posts. 

Granted. Their speed is 120 feet, but that's only for going in a straight line. They're still working on turning, so they constantly smack into one another. 

I wish I had boots of elvenkind. 

Granted. They now have the powers of soup. Which pretty much means that they taste delicious. 

I wish I could scry anything, as much as I want, so I could watch these three dozen heavy, uncontrollably fast, undead, highly trained goon balloon special forces operatives for entertainment purposes. 

Quote from Yondor_The_Fantastic >>

Granted. They now have the powers of soup. Which pretty much means that they taste delicious. 

 

I wish I could scry anything, as much as I want, so I could watch these three dozen heavy, uncontrollably fast, undead, highly trained goon balloon special forces operatives for entertainment purposes. 

 Granted, but unfortunately all you can see is Storm Giants eating uncontrollably fast, undead, highly trained goon balloon special forces operatives as soup.  And they slurp.

I wish I controlled all the Gods and made them work in the salt mines.

Well the goddesses dont seem to support this, so they disintegrate you. 

I wish the goon balloons didn't get eaten. 

Time rewinds and reshapes itself. The goon balloons don’t get eaten. However, those storm giants instead do something that kills you instead, your fates forever tied unless you damage the timeline further.

I wish for seven giant scorpions to pop all the goon balloons.

Granted. Do or do not, there is no try. They just do. 

I wish I could wiggle my ears. 

Wish granted! but you cant stop wiggling them and people find you weird you now have 1 charisma!

I wish for a shotgun in D&D

The giant dies! So do your special force operatives.

I wish for a pet pseudodragon.

Granted. You get a swamp dragon from Lady Sybil Vimes. One annoying habit of swamp dragons is that they are known to blow themselves up if they breathe fire too much. 

I wish I was more decisive. 

Granted! In fact, you are so decisive that you take action without knowing anything about the situation.

I wish I knew all the spells in the world.

Granted. But you're a lv 20 fighter with 6 INT/CHAR/WIS. Good luck casting those spells. 

I wish my Warlock could get an extra invocation at lv3 and that Aspect of the Moon was a free feature for Tomelocks. (It's a nice little thing for roleplaying, but the limits on invocations means that if I want things mechanically good, the slots aren't there.) 

Granted, but your STR and CON are decreased to 2 so all activity for you is strenuous activity. Good luck doing light activities... This causes you to never advance past 2nd level.

I wish my 20th level fighter with 6 INT/CHAR/WIS was able to increase his INT/CHAR/WIS sufficiently to call all the spells he has in his head.

I wish you had made a wish to corrupt. 

Edit: Granted, he's able to do so at the cost of forgetting the spells.