Granted. A genie gave you the option to be immortal for the purpose of accomplishing one task. And you chose it to win the Last Comment thread. But it's immortality without eternal youth, so you spend millennia strapped next to a computer just trying to get that last post until the heat death of the universe.

I wish for a pet wyvern.

no

i wish for AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Granted.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   
You get tired of the AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

I wish for more people to help me confront the godmodder.

Granted. They help you confront the godmodder, get possessed by the godmodder, and are now the godmodder's thralls, making the challenge all that much more harder.

I still wish for a pet wyvern.

Granted. The area you're living in becomes a dry county and you're forced to instead go into the Adhohand's Kitchen part of the forum to join more threads. (I didn't misinterpret what kind of tavern you were referring to, right?)

I wish the cucumbers from my cucumber plants would get larger.

Granted. But between the time you remember to wish and the time you post your wish, you've been ninja'd. 

I wish to not have the Gandalf Sax get so ingrained in my mind that I hear it even when the video isn't playing.

Granted. But now you permanently hear the Gandalf sax even after I find a way to get it turned off. 

I wish for a bowl of popcorn.

you get crushed under the popcorn

i start eating the popcor-

wait wrong thead

i wish to not be wrong about the thread

Granted. It's now undead like a zombie and is trying to eat your BRAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINS!

I wish I had known the pork tenderloin package I used today only had one tenderloin in it instead of two like they usually do.

Granted. You dopplegang yourself and nothing changes. 

I wish Nothic2SeeHere's doppleganging powers were broader.

Granted, however he appears twice as wide when doppleganging.

I wish people would stop forgetting wishes

Granted, however only a person named people must follow this rule.

I wish people would rate my critique my homebrew.

Granted! But the people doing so come up from the dregs of the internet to do so. 

I wish I could grow a nice beard.