Granted! You instead procrastinate when putting it away after you've folded it. 

I wish I was more productive in general. 

Granted. Your work week is now an even balance between home and work. 12 hours of work 7 days a week. And then other half is for your family.

I wish I could fly.

Granted! But only in the form of a terrible monster, and you are feared by the people and hunted by the military. 

I wish I was amphibious. 

You weren't aware of the danger under the water so a dragon turtle kills you.

I wish I could levitate

Granted! You can levitate... air. And only 1 square inch of it at a time. 

I wish I could just enter peoples' dreams as they were dreaming them, so I could mess with their minds. 

Congratulations! After casting wish, the most powerful spell a mortal can cast, you become a 9th level wizard with dream prepared!

I wish people would understand that One D&D is purely in playtest form, and that all things are subject to change, before blowing steam out of their ears at Gary Gygax (or whatever they call him now).

Quote from Quar1on >>

Congratulations! After casting wish, the most powerful spell a mortal can cast, you become a 9th level wizard with dream prepared!

I wish people would understand that One D&D is purely in playtest form, and that all things are subject to change, before blowing steam out of their ears at Gary Gygax (or whatever they call him now).

 (I'm actually ok with that! :) )

Granted! They understand, but they blow steam out of their belly buttons instead. 

I wish that I had a d20 resting on my open palm. 

Wish granted!  Everyone understands, but it is in playtest form forever, and now it will never release.

Quote from gimdaloakbreaker >>

Wish granted!  Everyone understands, but it is in playtest form forever, and now it will never release.

 (you got ninjaed...) 

Quote from Yondor_The_Fantastic >>

Quote from Quar1on >>

Congratulations! After casting wish, the most powerful spell a mortal can cast, you become a 9th level wizard with dream prepared!

I wish people would understand that One D&D is purely in playtest form, and that all things are subject to change, before blowing steam out of their ears at Gary Gygax (or whatever they call him now).

 (I'm actually ok with that! :) )

Granted! They understand, but they blow steam out of their belly buttons instead. 

I wish that I had a d20 resting on my open palm. 

 Granted. It rolls only 1's.

I wish for a d20 that rolls only 20s.

Granted! But only when nobody is looking. 

I wish I could see in all directions at once, at any time I want. 

Granted. Now you can never cover your eyes from unpleasant sights. The mental scars this leaves test your sanity.

I wish I had made corn bread yesterday.

Granted, but you still didn't eat corn bread yesterday

I wish more people would post on 400 things people hate about D&D

wish granted but scene dnd is perfect it was remade and now you have to use xp and combat is the main focas wait this 3 third edi.... you have been banned for mentioning 3 third  game thing

i wish third edition did't exist 

Granted. But without 3rd edition there is no 4th edition. And without 4th edition there is no 5th edition. Reality moves to consume the hole left in DnD, wiping out all memories you have of playing the game and erasing all the parties 3rd+ to exist from history.

I wish it was easier to make Garlic Chicken. 

Granted! Unfortunately the chicken used is the same as the giant one in the crater of mount Fuji thus you are forced to prep it alive and be eaten.

I wish to institute communism worldwide

wish granted everyone "loves" are new master he is the best he is the coolest

i wish that the "pink sauce" did't exist  

Granted. It's still the same thing, but food dye has made it green.

I wish ground chuck would go on sale soon. (After I've used some of the recent acquisitions of chicken.)

wish granted but you die of a unrelated falling hammer before you got to buy any 

i wish that i did't have to do notes for health class

Granted, you don't have to, but the tests are open notes, and are harder as a result.

I wish for 900 American dollars in US banknotes.