Granted! However within 5 years D&D is pretty much abandoned for the better games and they're of no use to you really

I wish someone released a new TV show thats phenomenally good

It's so good and long you sit on the couch with a lot of snacks for 50 years straight and melt into the couch and die.

I wish to remove homophobia

All forms of LGBTGIA+phobia is now gone from the world

I wish I was really good at making music to go with my lyrics

You’re good at it, but you never feel satisfied with it and keep discarding them over and over again until someone else finds them, takes credit, and becomes filthy rich

I wish for The Hand from Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure, Part 4: Diamond is Unbreakable 

The Genie doesnt know what that means, but he gives you an actually unbreakable diamond

I wish I was a changling and didnt have parent problems as a consequence

Granted. But without parents (that's how you get rid of problems, right?) you're deemed and orphan and put into the system.

I wish for my friend to be able to find the stat-block he used for a monster a while back so I can calculate its CR according to the DMG.

your friend finds the stat block of the monster he used, but not right one, instead he finds one for a jacked pig, and it's stats are incomprehensible

I wish that my friend would be able to make DnD characters without needing my help

Granted. They're great at making D&D characters! Yeah the characters are a mish-mosh of 4e and 3.5e with a dash of AD&D sprinkled in so you have no idea how they're supposed to work. But BY GOLLY can they make characters on their own.

I wish my warlock-friend would remember he has spell slots.

He remembers that he has spell slots and realizes his potential, he starts summoning demons from hell. You run for your life and now find yourself living in the middle of no where hiding under a rock.

I wish that my dog would be fully trained without me having to do the actual work

Your wish has been granted. As you didn't specify what they should be trained in, your dog is now a master of kung fu, as well as karate, tai kwon do, tai chi, and ninjutsu.

I wish that Vitus would stop using that ungodly Gen Alpha slang.

Not happening. But if I were to grant it, I'd start bringing up old-timey slang and keep talking about how something is far our or the bees' knees.

I wish for my kolaczki dough to be nicely formed this time. It seems to get too crumbly a lot of times.

Granted! The dough bakes perfectly and holds its shape just as you desired. Sadly, the delicious looking delicacies are not able to be chewed because they are hard as stone.

I wish that my dad had come back with the milk... 

It is soy milk

i wish for soy milk to become a form of milk

Granted. Ew. Why would you wish that?

I wish for the strawberries I harvest from my garden tomorrow to be delicious.

They do! For Strawberries. I mean genies probably haven't left their bottles in hundreds of years! You expect them to know about language?

I wish I had a black lotus card, one thats worth a LOT

Sadly it’s wrinkled, which lowers the price dramatically.

I wish to be a fire hydrant.

A fire hydrant falls on your head and unalives you and you are reincarnated as the fire hydrant

you made no wish you wink out of existence.

I wish for a potato that is normal sized, normal colored, non poisonous, and basically just normal completely

Your wish has been granted. A completely normal potato is shot straight at your head at the speed of a bullet, killing you instantly.

I wish for Kermit the Frog to show up out of nowhere with an AK, say 'Hippity hoppity, get off my property', and shoot me after I start laughing so hard I can't breathe.

he shoots you with an AFK instead, so ur now permanently AFK.

I wish for a friendly snek