Nothic, you hate sarcasm? I just saw it on youre profile in the roast thread
Indeed I do. There’s nothing in this multiverse I hate more than sarcasm.
oh, im sometimes sarcastic, but it can be annoying in certain situations
Nah I’m kidding. My sig is full of little things that I find amusing. When you’re online, it’s impossible to tell if “I hate sarcasm” is serious or sarcastic.
lol, it never crossed my mind that saying you hate sarcasm could be sarcastic in a signature
Yeah. I would say it’s an online thing, but I’m also kinda like that irl. I’ll say things that are joking or sarcastic, but I say them completely seriously. Only my friends can tell the difference. And online, it’s even harder for others because it’s so difficult to distinguish tone.
my friends tell me when im sarcastic i just speak louder...
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Bang! Bang! Maxwell's silver hammer came down upon her head Clang! Clang! Maxwell's silver hammer made sure that she was dead
Also, I'm working on this magic item, but I need some ideas on what to make its higher-level features. I love the idea of magic items that stay viable as you level up, so I don't want to just make it Uncommon and call it a day.
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Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
May each word that I speak be backed by each of my teeth.
Also, I'm working on this magic item, but I need some ideas on what to make its higher-level features. I love the idea of magic items that stay viable as you level up, so I don't want to just make it Uncommon and call it a day.
I'd help but I'm not the best at homebrew
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Hello! I am a perfectly sane gibberer. Hi! :D
Locations are dead, the Temple of Potassium has fallen but its ideals live on
Also, I'm working on this magic item, but I need some ideas on what to make its higher-level features. I love the idea of magic items that stay viable as you level up, so I don't want to just make it Uncommon and call it a day.
“Listen to me! That is not our child! It belongs to something else. It has to. It can’t be ours.”
Born of the damned, no one creates a gwujad on purpose. They are accursed creatures, but what is not stated so obviously is that they are orphans of the deepest, darkest horrors man hath ever faced. Abominations cursed by the gods to never again bear children. They found a loophole.
Darkened Forms
Gwujad often have some slight resemblance to their parent race, but their monstrous heritage is always abundantly clear. They have long, reptile-like tails, tough, monochrome, marked skin, and horns or spikes on their bodies. Rarely, their skin is translucent, revealing the colorless, greasy flesh underneath, warped into ominous shapes reflected by the symbols on the gwujad’s epidermis. Each gwujad gains different symbols as they develop, and common symbols are symbols of humanity, such as eyes, mouths, or hands, or, for the less fortunate, symbols of imprisonment or abuse, such as barbed wire, chains, or enhanced scars. They say you can read a gwujad like a tapestry if you can see all their markings. In addition to these more obvious features, gwujad often have glowing irises, black scleras, and sharp teeth.
Gwujad are almost invariably very tall, and very often plump due to their enhanced appetites.
Esoteric Origins
Gwujad are born from foul occult rituals performed by several people. When the ritual is finished, a curse is placed upon all of the ritualists: the next child any of them has will be born as a gwujad. These rituals almost always serve some other purpose, such as raising the dead or saving crops, and the true cost of the ritual is rarely discovered until the gwijad is born.
Many of these terrible rituals are incredibly powerful, and require little magical skill to accomplish, making them easy bait for aspiring occultists. They are secretly created by nameless horrors that live deep beneath the surface, trapped there by the gods for their crimes both real and imagined. They plant these rituals into the minds of their servants on the surface and tell them to spread them around where only the best surrogate parents will access them. Thus, many dungeons have been created to store these ritual instructions, with the hope that some foolish adventurer will come along and sell them to the highest bidder, or, even better, use them themselves.
The abominations hope that their kind will breathe again on the surface, that they will live outside of imprisonment and sire monsters of their own. That is why these rituals were invented in the first place, and why the horrors of the deep desire them to be used. However, the horrors cannot bear children of their own, so they must raise them from the flesh of mortals. They can only hope that their softer, frailer children will one day free them from their bondage, so that they may challenge the gods once more for superiority.
Unwanted Children
When a gwujad is born, it is almost always to someone with the money required to conduct such expensive rituals. The hope of the horrors is that parental instinct will take over, and that the parents will be loving surrogates. Alas, while this is sometimes the case, it just as often isn’t.
Many parents respond with disgust or horror at siring such a large and foul beast, and either have it killed, put up for adoption, or kept hidden the best they can. These feelings may even come to the more accepting parents when the gwujad’s hedonistic nature is revealed: as their true parents, they have a natural inclination toward gluttony in all forms. They enjoy violence, good food and drink, beautiful company, and of course, their own personal obsessions. It takes a good deal of discipline for a gwujad to resist their impulses, leading to the common impression that they don’t contribute anything to society and are no better than animals.
Gwujad have a drive to try out new things, and are naturally curious. They often end up becoming adventurers or scholars, and usually take at least some interest in their origins.
Statistics
Age Gwujad reach physical maturity at the same rate as their birth race. They tend to live much longer than their parent races, but rarely get to die of old age.
Size Gwujad are typically 6-9 feet tall and weigh 200-700 pounds. Your size is medium.
Type Your type is Monstrosity.
Speed You have a walking speed of 35ft.
Darkvision Your kind are born to walk the night. You can see in dim light within 60 feet of you as if it were bright light, and in darkness as if it were dim light. You can’t discern color in darkness, only shades of gray.
Powerful Build You count as one size larger when determining your carrying capacity and the weight you can push, drag, or lift.
Toughness of Flesh Your body is designed to take a pummeling. You can use Constitution in place of Dexterity when calculating your Armor Class.
Abyssal Tolerance You have advantage on saving throws against poison.
Blasphemous Survivor You are immune to the effects of nonmagical weather, such as extreme heat or cold.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
May each word that I speak be backed by each of my teeth.
Also, I'm working on this magic item, but I need some ideas on what to make its higher-level features. I love the idea of magic items that stay viable as you level up, so I don't want to just make it Uncommon and call it a day.
Sadly, can’t see that either. What is it?
Occultist’s Coffee Press
Wonderous Item, Rarity Varies (Requires attunement by a spellcaster)
While delving into the unknown, one often loses sleep. To combat this, many aspiring dark magicians create these devices, which in addition to making particularly good coffee and being generally pleasant to have, are loaded to the brim with magic to keep one safe and sane during long, late-night forays into the occult.
Slumbering (Uncommon). You learn a single cantrip of your choice from any spell list you choose. You choose what its spellcasting ability score is. If your attunement to this item ends, you lose that cantrip.
You can use this coffee press as a spell focus.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
May each word that I speak be backed by each of my teeth.
my friends tell me when im sarcastic i just speak louder...
Bang! Bang! Maxwell's silver hammer came down upon her head
Clang! Clang! Maxwell's silver hammer made sure that she was dead
I'm back from church!
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
May each word that I speak be backed by each of my teeth.
Hi!
good to see you baalze, how was it?
Bang! Bang! Maxwell's silver hammer came down upon her head
Clang! Clang! Maxwell's silver hammer made sure that she was dead
hello Archfey, is it just me or have we not talked a lot?
Bang! Bang! Maxwell's silver hammer came down upon her head
Clang! Clang! Maxwell's silver hammer made sure that she was dead
I could barely stay awake. I liked the message, I was just exhausted.
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
May each word that I speak be backed by each of my teeth.
Greetings fellow individual
Hello! I am a perfectly sane gibberer. Hi! :D
Locations are dead, the Temple of Potassium has fallen but its ideals live on
A mysterious link of chain... (Extended signature). PRAISE JEFF THE EVIL ROOMBA! REALLY cool video.
One of the Warlock Patrons on the forums. Low, low price of your soul, your firstborn child and your liver!
Titles: The Echoing Story Spewer from Drummer, the Endless Maws from Isis, the Mad Murderer from PJ
Hey! Did you see the race I posted earlier?
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
May each word that I speak be backed by each of my teeth.
It was called like a Gwujad or something? I couldn’t access the doc, but it seemed pretty cool.
how is u?
Yeah, we really haven’t talked that much. How is u?
Also, I'm working on this magic item, but I need some ideas on what to make its higher-level features. I love the idea of magic items that stay viable as you level up, so I don't want to just make it Uncommon and call it a day.
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
May each word that I speak be backed by each of my teeth.
ive been doing good, my dad and uncle are working on our familys van rn, its been overheating
Bang! Bang! Maxwell's silver hammer came down upon her head
Clang! Clang! Maxwell's silver hammer made sure that she was dead
arent you exhausted now? this is why you need sleep Baalze
Bang! Bang! Maxwell's silver hammer came down upon her head
Clang! Clang! Maxwell's silver hammer made sure that she was dead
I'd help but I'm not the best at homebrew
Hello! I am a perfectly sane gibberer. Hi! :D
Locations are dead, the Temple of Potassium has fallen but its ideals live on
A mysterious link of chain... (Extended signature). PRAISE JEFF THE EVIL ROOMBA! REALLY cool video.
One of the Warlock Patrons on the forums. Low, low price of your soul, your firstborn child and your liver!
Titles: The Echoing Story Spewer from Drummer, the Endless Maws from Isis, the Mad Murderer from PJ
Sadly, can’t see that either. What is it?
Gwujad Race v0.4
“Listen to me! That is not our child! It belongs to something else. It has to. It can’t be ours.”
Born of the damned, no one creates a gwujad on purpose. They are accursed creatures, but what is not stated so obviously is that they are orphans of the deepest, darkest horrors man hath ever faced. Abominations cursed by the gods to never again bear children. They found a loophole.
Darkened Forms
Gwujad often have some slight resemblance to their parent race, but their monstrous heritage is always abundantly clear. They have long, reptile-like tails, tough, monochrome, marked skin, and horns or spikes on their bodies. Rarely, their skin is translucent, revealing the colorless, greasy flesh underneath, warped into ominous shapes reflected by the symbols on the gwujad’s epidermis. Each gwujad gains different symbols as they develop, and common symbols are symbols of humanity, such as eyes, mouths, or hands, or, for the less fortunate, symbols of imprisonment or abuse, such as barbed wire, chains, or enhanced scars. They say you can read a gwujad like a tapestry if you can see all their markings. In addition to these more obvious features, gwujad often have glowing irises, black scleras, and sharp teeth.
Gwujad are almost invariably very tall, and very often plump due to their enhanced appetites.
Esoteric Origins
Gwujad are born from foul occult rituals performed by several people. When the ritual is finished, a curse is placed upon all of the ritualists: the next child any of them has will be born as a gwujad. These rituals almost always serve some other purpose, such as raising the dead or saving crops, and the true cost of the ritual is rarely discovered until the gwijad is born.
Many of these terrible rituals are incredibly powerful, and require little magical skill to accomplish, making them easy bait for aspiring occultists. They are secretly created by nameless horrors that live deep beneath the surface, trapped there by the gods for their crimes both real and imagined. They plant these rituals into the minds of their servants on the surface and tell them to spread them around where only the best surrogate parents will access them. Thus, many dungeons have been created to store these ritual instructions, with the hope that some foolish adventurer will come along and sell them to the highest bidder, or, even better, use them themselves.
The abominations hope that their kind will breathe again on the surface, that they will live outside of imprisonment and sire monsters of their own. That is why these rituals were invented in the first place, and why the horrors of the deep desire them to be used. However, the horrors cannot bear children of their own, so they must raise them from the flesh of mortals. They can only hope that their softer, frailer children will one day free them from their bondage, so that they may challenge the gods once more for superiority.
Unwanted Children
When a gwujad is born, it is almost always to someone with the money required to conduct such expensive rituals. The hope of the horrors is that parental instinct will take over, and that the parents will be loving surrogates. Alas, while this is sometimes the case, it just as often isn’t.
Many parents respond with disgust or horror at siring such a large and foul beast, and either have it killed, put up for adoption, or kept hidden the best they can. These feelings may even come to the more accepting parents when the gwujad’s hedonistic nature is revealed: as their true parents, they have a natural inclination toward gluttony in all forms. They enjoy violence, good food and drink, beautiful company, and of course, their own personal obsessions. It takes a good deal of discipline for a gwujad to resist their impulses, leading to the common impression that they don’t contribute anything to society and are no better than animals.
Gwujad have a drive to try out new things, and are naturally curious. They often end up becoming adventurers or scholars, and usually take at least some interest in their origins.
Statistics
Age
Gwujad reach physical maturity at the same rate as their birth race. They tend to live much longer than their parent races, but rarely get to die of old age.
Size
Gwujad are typically 6-9 feet tall and weigh 200-700 pounds. Your size is medium.
Type
Your type is Monstrosity.
Speed
You have a walking speed of 35ft.
Darkvision
Your kind are born to walk the night. You can see in dim light within 60 feet of you as if it were bright light, and in darkness as if it were dim light. You can’t discern color in darkness, only shades of gray.
Powerful Build
You count as one size larger when determining your carrying capacity and the weight you can push, drag, or lift.
Toughness of Flesh
Your body is designed to take a pummeling. You can use Constitution in place of Dexterity when calculating your Armor Class.
Abyssal Tolerance
You have advantage on saving throws against poison.
Blasphemous Survivor
You are immune to the effects of nonmagical weather, such as extreme heat or cold.
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
May each word that I speak be backed by each of my teeth.
I'm doing okay. Tired, though.
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
May each word that I speak be backed by each of my teeth.
I'M EXHAUSTED BECAUSE I WOKE UP AT 6:00 AM AND COULDN'T SLEEP, PJ.
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
May each word that I speak be backed by each of my teeth.
Occultist’s Coffee Press
Wonderous Item, Rarity Varies (Requires attunement by a spellcaster)
While delving into the unknown, one often loses sleep. To combat this, many aspiring dark magicians create these devices, which in addition to making particularly good coffee and being generally pleasant to have, are loaded to the brim with magic to keep one safe and sane during long, late-night forays into the occult.
Slumbering (Uncommon). You learn a single cantrip of your choice from any spell list you choose. You choose what its spellcasting ability score is. If your attunement to this item ends, you lose that cantrip.
You can use this coffee press as a spell focus.
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
May each word that I speak be backed by each of my teeth.
Same.