You make me wish there was a Disguise Others spell.
Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
Look at that, everyone! They can speak Common!
*to party members* You know, it's good we aren't facing intellect devourers. *looks at opponent* Oh, not you. You'd be fine.
The only difference between you and the mud on my boots is that the mud is going to be going somewhere.
Are you always this stupid, or are you making a special effort today? (You can replace stupid with something else. ex: ugly, lazy, weak
I didn't know Sh*t Golems existed until you showed up.
The only things you've ever killed are my expectations.
*looks at party* Well, looks like the village idiot escaped again.
It's incredible that you can bring such joy to a room by leaving it.
Is there some Elemental Plane of Stupid you came from?
If laughter is the best medicine, then your fighting could cure the multiverse.
Why don't you give me your weapon so I can hit myself with it? That would be more effective than you trying.
What are you going to use as a face when the baboon wants his butt back?
Okay...
Maybe that was more than a few.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Hi all, I'm Druid_Girl31, but please call me Druid. I am (a/an) CERTIFIED INSOMNIAC, PAN, alterhuman,BADDD DM, and obsessed with HAMILTON! Why? I'm just cool like that!
"Ugh, you, what are you good for? Absolutely nothing, say it again"
Odo Proudfoot - Lvl 10 Halfling Monk - Princes of the Apocalypse (Campaign Finished)
Orryn Pebblefoot - Lvl 5 Rock Gnome Wizard (Deceased) - Waterdeep: Dragon Heist (Deceased)
Anerin Ap Tewdr - Lvl 5 Human (Variant) Bard (College of Valor) - Waterdeep: Dragon Heist
Here’s a small sampling from my female half-orc bard, Ootana T. Gladdentine:
Esteemed colleagues, I present to you evidence that evolution can work in reverse!
They don’t make them like you anymore, but just to be safe you should be castrated anyway.
Concerning a rival bard: He has a corncob’s ear for music.
I’d like to see things from your point of view but I can’t get my head that far up my ass.
I love what you've done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of your nostrils like that?
If a mindflayer tried to suck your brain, they’d starve.
Yeah, I’d sock you, but sh*t splatters.
I only have a few but they're fun anyhow.
My first encounter I delivered the final blow and my final insult was "And that's why yo shoes raggedy."
there's also "You have 2 brain cells and they're fighting for 3rd place."
"Anyone can smith at the cosmic anvil, yet only I can forge a weapon as good as thee."
My Homebrew Please click it, they have my family.
Ni!
You absolute cabbage.
If I haven’t offended you, don’t worry. I’m sure I’ll get to you eventually.
I’m gonna quote The Three Amigos and say “Well, you slime-eating dog, you scum-sucking pig, you son of a motherless goat!”
also, from The Walking Drum:
”If it’s a battle of wits you want, a battle of wits you shall have!”
”Sorry, I don’t fight unarmed men.”
If I haven’t offended you, don’t worry. I’m sure I’ll get to you eventually.
You are so moronic you gave an intellect devourer indigestion.
To any undead- "Get a life!"
To a dwarf- "My mother has a thicker beard than that!"
Always two maybe three
Do you understand common? Or need I cast speak with animals.
I know what you're thinking, did he use up all his Ki points or does he still have one, well, are you feeling lucky punk?
Man that was brutal
Speak with Dead, perhaps?
That is, if they possess the mental faculties to answer five questions.
Or even understand the number.
Let’s be honest; they’d be more useful at that point than how this conversation is going currently. ; )
Had a story-obsessed Bard at one point:
”You’re like a book with no spine!”
”You’re life has no climax…your life is nothing but falling action; with no resolution!”
”You aren’t even deserving of an epilogue!”
“No sequels for you.”
”My editor told me to look for errors; I think we’ll start with you.”
Thanks all
I know what you're thinking, did he use up all his Ki points or does he still have one, well, are you feeling lucky punk?
Here's a few...
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't you happier?
You make me wish there was a Disguise Others spell.
Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
Look at that, everyone! They can speak Common!
*to party members* You know, it's good we aren't facing intellect devourers. *looks at opponent* Oh, not you. You'd be fine.
The only difference between you and the mud on my boots is that the mud is going to be going somewhere.
Are you always this stupid, or are you making a special effort today? (You can replace stupid with something else. ex: ugly, lazy, weak
I didn't know Sh*t Golems existed until you showed up.
The only things you've ever killed are my expectations.
*looks at party* Well, looks like the village idiot escaped again.
It's incredible that you can bring such joy to a room by leaving it.
Is there some Elemental Plane of Stupid you came from?
If laughter is the best medicine, then your fighting could cure the multiverse.
Why don't you give me your weapon so I can hit myself with it? That would be more effective than you trying.
What are you going to use as a face when the baboon wants his butt back?
Okay...
Maybe that was more than a few.
Hi all, I'm Druid_Girl31, but please call me Druid. I am (a/an) CERTIFIED INSOMNIAC, PAN, alterhuman, BADDD DM, and obsessed with HAMILTON! Why? I'm just cool like that!
She/her pronouns please. TITLES: Savior of the Woods by Drummer! Send me a PM! PRAISE JEFF! Join the Hamilton Cult! Hate on Gen Alpha Slang! <--- ( all links)
I lost any measure of sanity I ever had a long time ago!