But, do you irl or in-game introduce yourself as gay? How often does it come up vs how often do you bring it up?
As someone who is trans/bi, and play characters the same. I can't really say it's ever come up. So if the OP is having this issue consistently. Maybe, just maybe, they're making others uncomfortable and they don't see it, thus placing the blame on others.
When someone comes to a forum where they think they have a community ... and I do believe the gamer geek community is supposed to be pretty close, right? ... and vent about abuse they are receiving, why do you start to insinuate that maybe they did something to bring it on themselves? The only reason I can think of is that you're trying to find some way to excuse the bullies of their behavior because ... why? Is it because you think the abuse is somehow justified?
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Canto alla vita alla sua bellezza ad ogni sua ferita ogni sua carezza!
I sing to life and to its tragic beauty To pain and to strife, but all that dances through me The rise and the fall, I've lived through it all!
But, do you irl or in-game introduce yourself as gay? How often does it come up vs how often do you bring it up?
As someone who is trans/bi, and play characters the same. I can't really say it's ever come up. So if the OP is having this issue consistently. Maybe, just maybe, they're making others uncomfortable and they don't see it, thus placing the blame on others.
When someone comes to a forum where they think they have a community ... and I do believe the gamer geek community is supposed to be pretty close, right? ... and vent about abuse they are receiving, why do you start to insinuate that maybe they did something to bring it on themselves? The only reason I can think of is that you're trying to find some way to excuse the bullies of their behavior because ... why? Is it because you think the abuse is somehow justified?
It has a distinctive "stay in the closet" vibe.
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Find your own truth, choose your enemies carefully, and never deal with a dragon.
"Canon" is what's factual to D&D lore. "Cannon" is what you're going to be shot with if you keep getting the word wrong.
IRL I will introduce myself and if people get to know me they will find out almost immediately about my husband. Is that supposed to justify people treating me any differently than anyone else? Stop excusing bigotry.
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Canto alla vita alla sua bellezza ad ogni sua ferita ogni sua carezza!
I sing to life and to its tragic beauty To pain and to strife, but all that dances through me The rise and the fall, I've lived through it all!
But, do you irl or in-game introduce yourself as gay? How often does it come up vs how often do you bring it up?
Thank you. Someone agrees with me!
I have nothing against the LGBTQ+ community. It just isn't realistic in my opinion to introduce yourself as such.
Do not use this excuse of 'realism' again. I am a gay man, I have introduced myself as such when it was warranted, but I will also casually talk about my husband as is the right of anyone to share of their own lives. You may not know that what you're doing is censoring someone about something very personal, but I am telling you right now that it is. What you are doing is heaping abuse on someone who is already hurting. What you're doing is harmful. Now that you are informed of what you are doing, please be rational and think about and stop doing it. Not only is your use of 'realism' not actually that realistic, but realism isn't a very good reason to censor people's imagination and creativity anyway.
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Canto alla vita alla sua bellezza ad ogni sua ferita ogni sua carezza!
I sing to life and to its tragic beauty To pain and to strife, but all that dances through me The rise and the fall, I've lived through it all!
Just because someones campaign doesn't consider sexuality doesn't mean someone else's doesn't. I ran a campaign last year where sex and sexuality were tools of the trade and played a major part of the plot.
But more importantly, there's no defense and there's no justification for any of that kind of nonsense in a fantasy world (there's not in the real world either but)
And for those who say that heterosexual propaganda isn't being pushed and hasn't been a basis for fantasy role playing take a look at classic fantasy artist like Frank Frazetta.
The overall point, in my opinion, is the game was designed so you can play whatever character you like! I don't see post about "Why are you playing a Firbolg, that's pretty messed up" So really WTF.
But, do you irl or in-game introduce yourself as gay? How often does it come up vs how often do you bring it up?
Thank you. Someone agrees with me!
I have nothing against the LGBTQ+ community. It just isn't realistic in my opinion to introduce yourself as such.
Do not use this excuse of 'realism' again. I am a gay man, I have introduced myself as such when it was warranted, but I will also casually talk about my husband as is the right of anyone to share of their own lives. You may not know that what you're doing is censoring someone about something very personal, but I am telling you right now that it is. What you are doing is heaping abuse on someone who is already hurting. What you're doing is harmful. Now that you are informed of what you are doing, please be rational and think about and stop doing it. Not only is your use of 'realism' not actually that realistic, but realism isn't a very good reason to censor people's imagination and creativity anyway.
I'm sorry if I find it hard to believe that you introduce yourself to everyone as gay. I'm sorry if I find it harder to believe that every LGBTQ+ person immediately introduces themselves as such to everyone they meet immediately upon meeting them. Must be hard for that gay blacksmith. Half of his time he's blacksmithing and selling his products to others, the other half he's explaining that he's gay to them.
Also, what do you mean, don't use "realism" again? I play my games realistically. What does that have to do with anything? I never said that I had anything against the LGBTQ+ community, (I quite said the opposite), and you all freaked out that a straight guy was on this thread. Talk about gatekeeping. (If that's not what happened, sorry for making assumptions. I'm yet to hear what I did wrong before you started attacking me.)
What am I doing to abuse anyone? Anyone I've ever DMed for will tell you that I'm the most accepting DM out there! Ask them. If any of them has gotten the impression I'm a bigot somehow, then you can prove whatever you're trying to prove.
You said that I was "informed of what I'm doing"? No, I have no idea what I apparently did, because I merely put some statistics down, mentioned how I use those statistics in real life, and then everyone lost their freaking mind. I will stop when you tell me what I did that provoked you to cross the line and claim that I'm bullying people. How am I bullying anyone?
(Also, I hope you understand that I have literally nothing against gay people, transgender people, or anyone else like them. I am genuinely confused on how this happened. I didn't mean to offend anyone.)
Also, I think you have the definition of realism wrong. Realism. Definition 2 is the one that I was referring too.
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Please check out my homebrew, I would appreciate feedback:
@LeviRocks What I am talking about is your behavior here and now on this forum. The original poster came on to vent basically about abuse they were receiving and your response was "I don't mean to argue but ..." and then you went on to say that you don't make a majority of your characters queer. First, that has nothing to do with what the original poster was saying. Second, it is a non-sequitur that feels very much like you're saying that lgbt character shouldn't have a big presence in fantasy worlds because of 'realism', as if that matters to a fantasy world and that therefore those abusers might have a shred of reason for not liking or wanting an lgbt character. Which is wrong. We do not excuse bigots, we do not rationalize abuse.
I'm pretty sure you don't intend for that to be what you're saying, but you also have to realize that people who have had abuse heaped on them are vulnerable to these kinds of implications. Can you see that? Can you understand that?
So what is the proper response when you find out that something you're doing is unintentionally hurtful? That's right .. you stop.
I am of the school of thought that it isn't relevant until it's relevant. Who I'm attracted to isn't any of your business unless you have feelings for me, or I have feelings for you. It may or may not come up, depending on how conversation and events go. That's just how it works.
Unless you're one of those people who advertises it constantly, always trying to make a conversation turn to sexuality, etc. Some people (not saying this is OP, we have insufficient information to say anything about their mannerisms) even do this, unconsciously, as a way for them to play the victim at any given moment. Those individuals give everyone a bad name.
Obligatory! This is a rant because I'm /slightly/ mad a certain types of people in the D&D community. If you have nothing nice to say, please don't reply, I'm already stressed enough as it is. Thanks in advance! <3
___________________________
Okay, so here goes. 99% of my characters are LGBTQ+ in some way shape or form, wether trans, ace, gay, bi, etc. Recently, I've noticed that some people (you know who you are) have been bashing me for this, saying things along the lines of "can't some of your characters be 'normal'", or "stop pushing your agenda". To those people: can you stop pushing yours? Its just another layer to the character, and doesn't change how I play them at all. They act based on personality, not sexuality or gender identity, people! Your character being straight or cis isn't their sole characteristic, is it? (If it is, I seriously hope you reconsider how you create different pcs, and build up layered interaction as a whole.) Stop judging other people's characters based on little details. There is much more to a person's creativity than what gender or sexuality they assign to a character. Most of my characters are LGBTQ+ for story purposes, for heck's sake! For many reasons, judging so rudely and harshly is wrong. I'm always open to constructive critique, but being blatantly rude is right out. Being mean doesn't get anyone anywhere, and it doesn't help. The bast thing you can do in that situation would be to rationally explain your thoughts and defend your stance. Accusing and slinging derogatory terms does nothing to help people come to an understanding. Thanks for coming to my TedTalk.
______________________________________
Okay, rant over. Have a great day!
As a gay man, I know all too well the desire to see queer representation in media and yes, I play plenty of queer characters in my roleplaying, too. You keep one playing the characters that are fun for you and that make YOU feel fulfilled and damn anyone who would tell you otherwise for such paltry reasons as 'realism.'
Representation for the sake of representation, however, is just as toxic as ignoring it and hoping it goes away. It leads to a scenario of Quotaism, where every story ends up needing to have X number of gays, X number of trans, X number of etc. It becomes hollow and meaningless, because it inevitably becomes forced in order to make it fit into whatever context it is now "required" in.
Same sex relationships in media need to be handled organically, just like they would be in life.
The situations in which I have lead with "I am a gay man" are very few and far between, not that it matters because I don't have to justify my life for anyone else to believe me. Straight people don't know what the closet is like, when you live as if every move you make will give you away. I fought hard to get over my fear of casually mentioning my boyfriend, now husband, because damnit straight people talk about their significant others all the time, advertising their love lives. Why shouldn't I be able to?
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Canto alla vita alla sua bellezza ad ogni sua ferita ogni sua carezza!
I sing to life and to its tragic beauty To pain and to strife, but all that dances through me The rise and the fall, I've lived through it all!
Representation for the sake of representation, however, is just as toxic as ignoring it and hoping it goes away. It leads to a scenario of Quotaism, where every story ends up needing to have X number of gays, X number of trans, X number of etc. It becomes hollow and meaningless, because it inevitably becomes forced in order to make it fit into whatever context it is now "required" in.
Same sex relationships in media need to be handled organically, just like they would be in life.
Yeah and how much of what we think of as "organic" is actually fabricated, consciously or unconsciously, by the majority? Like how much of our beauty standards is influenced by the dominance of white people in culture? Have you seen the sociological studies where they show children two dolls, one white and one black, and ask them which one is the 'bad' one? Heartbreakingly, even the little black kids will say that the black doll is 'bad.'
No, as creators of art and our own worlds, we have the opportunity to do better. We have the power to break the mold that we've been given and make a new normal. And you know what they say about power and responsibility, right?
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Canto alla vita alla sua bellezza ad ogni sua ferita ogni sua carezza!
I sing to life and to its tragic beauty To pain and to strife, but all that dances through me The rise and the fall, I've lived through it all!
I am fortunate enough to play in a group that is wildly diverse and supportive of each other; that's not to say we're perfect, because we aren't, but at the end of the day we all understand each other and our intentions.
However, I have had run-ins with bigots...actually, that's an understatement; I had a run in with a literal ******* nazi, who made it his ******* business to force his scumbag views on everyone else who was just looking for a group to play with. It was awful. And while I'm fortunate enough to not have encountered what the OP is describing in my own games, I have encountered that regularly in different contexts, especially back when I was still closeted about the fact that I'm gay (which in turn made it harder for me to accept my sexuality for much, *much* longer). I can tell you right now that it sucks massively, and if I were encountering that in my play sessions then in all honesty I think that'd make me not want to play at all period.
The original poster came on to vent basically about abuse they were receiving and your response was "I don't mean to argue but ..." and then you went on to say that you don't make a majority of your characters queer.
I didn't say "I don't mean to argue", I said "I am not arguing with you". I was not arguing. I agree completely with the OP. People that judge others because of their sexuality or their way of fun is wrong. I came out explaining how I use real world statistics to dictate the percentage of people in my worlds that fall into the LGBTQ+ category. Why am I a bad guy for using numbers to base my game after? I understand it when you don't like it when people try to make queers non-existent in D&D worlds, but that's not what I do. I did argue not to increase the percentage much more, because that doesn't work scientifically in my mind. Sure, try to make me the bad guy for it, but I truly don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings or do any damage to anything by saying that it doesn't make sense to increase these percentages any more than it makes sense to increase the amount of females in a world to 75%. I was arguing that for the sake of science and numbers, not to shame LGBTQ+ people in any way. You seriously misunderstood me if you think that I was trying to do that.
I'm pretty sure you don't intend for that to be what you're saying, but you also have to realize that people who have had abuse heaped on them are vulnerable to these kinds of implications. Can you see that? Can you understand that?
So what is the proper response when you find out that something you're doing is unintentionally hurtful? That's right .. you stop.
Yes, I have stopped. I'm merely arguing with you now that you attacked me. I'd gladly stop if you agree to stop, because I really didn't mean to insult anyone. I truly am just a numbers guy who was only advocating the scientifically accurate amount of LGBTQ+ people in D&D worlds for the sake of being similar to the current world. I never said that you can't have more gay or trans people in your world, I encourage you to design your worlds how you like them, but for the sake of my games and for others who like numbers as much as I do, you explain to people how numbers work, which is what I was doing.
If the OP is reading this, I literally have nothing against you or anyone else that is LGBTQ+ in general. I came onto the thread trying to explain how my world works, and how it's similar to the real world. Apparently, I'm not allowed to do that, because it implies that I hate you. Sorry for that. I didn't mean to derail anything. I'm sorry that people are jerks and bigots.
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Please check out my homebrew, I would appreciate feedback:
You do you. I fall in the “b” category of that alphabet soup, so I get it. If people don’t like it, I think that says more about them than it does about you. If people are going to that upset about your choice of protagonist in a work of fiction, that’s not your problem, and you shouldn’t have to deal with it.
Why do I start to insinuate that? It might have something to do with this appearing to be a consistent issue with the person. If I go around and people don't like me for the same reason on a consistent basis, would it make sense to think that all those people have the same problem, or should I examine my actions and see if maybe it's something I'm doing? And calling everyone who doesn't like you a "bully" is so regressive and unhelpful that you just end up in a social bubble and not even worth talking to.
This is so archaic. Really?
OK, So... You're black 70 years ago..... Hey all the people around you have the same problem! It must be MY fault. I mean I'm black. I guess I should re-examine myself.
Toxicity comes in all forms. This thread is toxic because one guy is literally posting 5 times in a row having 7 conversations at once trying to get someone agree with him. I'm toxic because I'm pointing this out. The person below be will undoubtedly be toxic because he continues the negative form of thinking. Such is life. Let's not dwell on that though. Let's actually talk about the OP and their issue.
For what it's worth, I am truly sorry that the OP is having the issue they are having with the group they are having. Based on their post history they seem to be new to D&D. Since it is one of the older gaming communities there sadly does tend to be a lot of gate keeping and bigotry from older(not age, but how long they have been in the hobby) players. D&D is supposed to be what you and your group make it. It's supposed to be whimsical and fun and full of great adventures with epic stories. Or it can be a ragtag group of idiots who bumble around in a dungeon and somehow always succeed. It can be anything you want it to be, and your character can be anything you want it to be.
There are groups for everyone. Make the characters you want to make with the stories you develop for them. Introduce them how you feel. If a person in your group thinks you are pushing an agenda and you truly feel you aren't, bring it up with the DM. If that causes you to not be in that group, then it wasn't for you and don't feel bad! Who wants to be in a group that isn't accepting of the person behind the character? While you made conscious decisions to make the characters the way you made them, it isn't your fault that the people around you aren't accepting of those ideals. Don't surround yourself with that toxicity.
Representation for the sake of representation, however, is just as toxic as ignoring it and hoping it goes away. It leads to a scenario of Quotaism, where every story ends up needing to have X number of gays, X number of trans, X number of etc. It becomes hollow and meaningless, because it inevitably becomes forced in order to make it fit into whatever context it is now "required" in.
Same sex relationships in media need to be handled organically, just like they would be in life.
Yeah and how much of what we think of as "organic" is actually fabricated, consciously or unconsciously, by the majority? Like how much of our beauty standards is influenced by the dominance of white people in culture? Have you seen the sociological studies where they show children two dolls, one white and one black, and ask them which one is the 'bad' one? Heartbreakingly, even the little black kids will say that the black doll is 'bad.'
No, as creators of art and our own worlds, we have the opportunity to do better. We have the power to break the mold that we've been given and make a new normal. And you know what they say about power and responsibility, right?
I'd be happy to continue to have a conversation with you on this matter, but no while you're up on your soapbox. If you find yourself unable to climb down, you might just be a bigot yourself, merely in the opposite direction.
Now for something more uplifting! @LordOfTheMemes things are getting better as time goes by and people learn better. The gaming industry is moving in a more accepting and more diverse direction all the time and a calculated grab for market share is seemingly only a small part of the motivation for that.
When someone comes to a forum where they think they have a community ... and I do believe the gamer geek community is supposed to be pretty close, right? ... and vent about abuse they are receiving, why do you start to insinuate that maybe they did something to bring it on themselves? The only reason I can think of is that you're trying to find some way to excuse the bullies of their behavior because ... why? Is it because you think the abuse is somehow justified?
Canto alla vita
alla sua bellezza
ad ogni sua ferita
ogni sua carezza!
I sing to life and to its tragic beauty
To pain and to strife, but all that dances through me
The rise and the fall, I've lived through it all!
It has a distinctive "stay in the closet" vibe.
Find your own truth, choose your enemies carefully, and never deal with a dragon.
"Canon" is what's factual to D&D lore. "Cannon" is what you're going to be shot with if you keep getting the word wrong.
IRL I will introduce myself and if people get to know me they will find out almost immediately about my husband. Is that supposed to justify people treating me any differently than anyone else? Stop excusing bigotry.
Canto alla vita
alla sua bellezza
ad ogni sua ferita
ogni sua carezza!
I sing to life and to its tragic beauty
To pain and to strife, but all that dances through me
The rise and the fall, I've lived through it all!
Was that directed at me? Because I was agreeing with you.
Find your own truth, choose your enemies carefully, and never deal with a dragon.
"Canon" is what's factual to D&D lore. "Cannon" is what you're going to be shot with if you keep getting the word wrong.
Do not use this excuse of 'realism' again. I am a gay man, I have introduced myself as such when it was warranted, but I will also casually talk about my husband as is the right of anyone to share of their own lives. You may not know that what you're doing is censoring someone about something very personal, but I am telling you right now that it is. What you are doing is heaping abuse on someone who is already hurting. What you're doing is harmful. Now that you are informed of what you are doing, please be rational and think about and stop doing it. Not only is your use of 'realism' not actually that realistic, but realism isn't a very good reason to censor people's imagination and creativity anyway.
Canto alla vita
alla sua bellezza
ad ogni sua ferita
ogni sua carezza!
I sing to life and to its tragic beauty
To pain and to strife, but all that dances through me
The rise and the fall, I've lived through it all!
No, there was some lag between my posts and I didn't see yours, I was just continuing with my thoughts.
Canto alla vita
alla sua bellezza
ad ogni sua ferita
ogni sua carezza!
I sing to life and to its tragic beauty
To pain and to strife, but all that dances through me
The rise and the fall, I've lived through it all!
Well said Ophid!
Just because someones campaign doesn't consider sexuality doesn't mean someone else's doesn't. I ran a campaign last year where sex and sexuality were tools of the trade and played a major part of the plot.
But more importantly, there's no defense and there's no justification for any of that kind of nonsense in a fantasy world (there's not in the real world either but)
And for those who say that heterosexual propaganda isn't being pushed and hasn't been a basis for fantasy role playing take a look at classic fantasy artist like Frank Frazetta.
The overall point, in my opinion, is the game was designed so you can play whatever character you like! I don't see post about "Why are you playing a Firbolg, that's pretty messed up" So really WTF.
That's what happens when you wear a helmet your whole life!
My house rules
I'm sorry if I find it hard to believe that you introduce yourself to everyone as gay. I'm sorry if I find it harder to believe that every LGBTQ+ person immediately introduces themselves as such to everyone they meet immediately upon meeting them. Must be hard for that gay blacksmith. Half of his time he's blacksmithing and selling his products to others, the other half he's explaining that he's gay to them.
Also, what do you mean, don't use "realism" again? I play my games realistically. What does that have to do with anything? I never said that I had anything against the LGBTQ+ community, (I quite said the opposite), and you all freaked out that a straight guy was on this thread. Talk about gatekeeping. (If that's not what happened, sorry for making assumptions. I'm yet to hear what I did wrong before you started attacking me.)
What am I doing to abuse anyone? Anyone I've ever DMed for will tell you that I'm the most accepting DM out there! Ask them. If any of them has gotten the impression I'm a bigot somehow, then you can prove whatever you're trying to prove.
You said that I was "informed of what I'm doing"? No, I have no idea what I apparently did, because I merely put some statistics down, mentioned how I use those statistics in real life, and then everyone lost their freaking mind. I will stop when you tell me what I did that provoked you to cross the line and claim that I'm bullying people. How am I bullying anyone?
(Also, I hope you understand that I have literally nothing against gay people, transgender people, or anyone else like them. I am genuinely confused on how this happened. I didn't mean to offend anyone.)
Also, I think you have the definition of realism wrong. Realism. Definition 2 is the one that I was referring too.
Please check out my homebrew, I would appreciate feedback:
Spells, Monsters, Subclasses, Races, Arcknight Class, Occultist Class, World, Enigmatic Esoterica forms
@LeviRocks What I am talking about is your behavior here and now on this forum. The original poster came on to vent basically about abuse they were receiving and your response was "I don't mean to argue but ..." and then you went on to say that you don't make a majority of your characters queer. First, that has nothing to do with what the original poster was saying. Second, it is a non-sequitur that feels very much like you're saying that lgbt character shouldn't have a big presence in fantasy worlds because of 'realism', as if that matters to a fantasy world and that therefore those abusers might have a shred of reason for not liking or wanting an lgbt character. Which is wrong. We do not excuse bigots, we do not rationalize abuse.
I'm pretty sure you don't intend for that to be what you're saying, but you also have to realize that people who have had abuse heaped on them are vulnerable to these kinds of implications. Can you see that? Can you understand that?
So what is the proper response when you find out that something you're doing is unintentionally hurtful? That's right .. you stop.
Canto alla vita
alla sua bellezza
ad ogni sua ferita
ogni sua carezza!
I sing to life and to its tragic beauty
To pain and to strife, but all that dances through me
The rise and the fall, I've lived through it all!
I am of the school of thought that it isn't relevant until it's relevant. Who I'm attracted to isn't any of your business unless you have feelings for me, or I have feelings for you. It may or may not come up, depending on how conversation and events go. That's just how it works.
Unless you're one of those people who advertises it constantly, always trying to make a conversation turn to sexuality, etc. Some people (not saying this is OP, we have insufficient information to say anything about their mannerisms) even do this, unconsciously, as a way for them to play the victim at any given moment. Those individuals give everyone a bad name.
And since it is now relevant, I am also gay.
Representation for the sake of representation, however, is just as toxic as ignoring it and hoping it goes away. It leads to a scenario of Quotaism, where every story ends up needing to have X number of gays, X number of trans, X number of etc. It becomes hollow and meaningless, because it inevitably becomes forced in order to make it fit into whatever context it is now "required" in.
Same sex relationships in media need to be handled organically, just like they would be in life.
The situations in which I have lead with "I am a gay man" are very few and far between, not that it matters because I don't have to justify my life for anyone else to believe me. Straight people don't know what the closet is like, when you live as if every move you make will give you away. I fought hard to get over my fear of casually mentioning my boyfriend, now husband, because damnit straight people talk about their significant others all the time, advertising their love lives. Why shouldn't I be able to?
Canto alla vita
alla sua bellezza
ad ogni sua ferita
ogni sua carezza!
I sing to life and to its tragic beauty
To pain and to strife, but all that dances through me
The rise and the fall, I've lived through it all!
Yeah and how much of what we think of as "organic" is actually fabricated, consciously or unconsciously, by the majority? Like how much of our beauty standards is influenced by the dominance of white people in culture? Have you seen the sociological studies where they show children two dolls, one white and one black, and ask them which one is the 'bad' one? Heartbreakingly, even the little black kids will say that the black doll is 'bad.'
No, as creators of art and our own worlds, we have the opportunity to do better. We have the power to break the mold that we've been given and make a new normal. And you know what they say about power and responsibility, right?
Canto alla vita
alla sua bellezza
ad ogni sua ferita
ogni sua carezza!
I sing to life and to its tragic beauty
To pain and to strife, but all that dances through me
The rise and the fall, I've lived through it all!
If I may add my voice to the mix,
I am fortunate enough to play in a group that is wildly diverse and supportive of each other; that's not to say we're perfect, because we aren't, but at the end of the day we all understand each other and our intentions.
However, I have had run-ins with bigots...actually, that's an understatement; I had a run in with a literal ******* nazi, who made it his ******* business to force his scumbag views on everyone else who was just looking for a group to play with. It was awful. And while I'm fortunate enough to not have encountered what the OP is describing in my own games, I have encountered that regularly in different contexts, especially back when I was still closeted about the fact that I'm gay (which in turn made it harder for me to accept my sexuality for much, *much* longer). I can tell you right now that it sucks massively, and if I were encountering that in my play sessions then in all honesty I think that'd make me not want to play at all period.
My behavior on this forum was never directed to the OP. It was directed to the people who were arguing against my point.
I didn't say "I don't mean to argue", I said "I am not arguing with you". I was not arguing. I agree completely with the OP. People that judge others because of their sexuality or their way of fun is wrong. I came out explaining how I use real world statistics to dictate the percentage of people in my worlds that fall into the LGBTQ+ category. Why am I a bad guy for using numbers to base my game after? I understand it when you don't like it when people try to make queers non-existent in D&D worlds, but that's not what I do. I did argue not to increase the percentage much more, because that doesn't work scientifically in my mind. Sure, try to make me the bad guy for it, but I truly don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings or do any damage to anything by saying that it doesn't make sense to increase these percentages any more than it makes sense to increase the amount of females in a world to 75%. I was arguing that for the sake of science and numbers, not to shame LGBTQ+ people in any way. You seriously misunderstood me if you think that I was trying to do that.
Yes, I have stopped. I'm merely arguing with you now that you attacked me. I'd gladly stop if you agree to stop, because I really didn't mean to insult anyone. I truly am just a numbers guy who was only advocating the scientifically accurate amount of LGBTQ+ people in D&D worlds for the sake of being similar to the current world. I never said that you can't have more gay or trans people in your world, I encourage you to design your worlds how you like them, but for the sake of my games and for others who like numbers as much as I do, you explain to people how numbers work, which is what I was doing.
If the OP is reading this, I literally have nothing against you or anyone else that is LGBTQ+ in general. I came onto the thread trying to explain how my world works, and how it's similar to the real world. Apparently, I'm not allowed to do that, because it implies that I hate you. Sorry for that. I didn't mean to derail anything. I'm sorry that people are jerks and bigots.
Please check out my homebrew, I would appreciate feedback:
Spells, Monsters, Subclasses, Races, Arcknight Class, Occultist Class, World, Enigmatic Esoterica forms
To the OP,
You do you. I fall in the “b” category of that alphabet soup, so I get it. If people don’t like it, I think that says more about them than it does about you. If people are going to that upset about your choice of protagonist in a work of fiction, that’s not your problem, and you shouldn’t have to deal with it.
Creating Epic Boons on DDB
DDB Buyers' Guide
Hardcovers, DDB & You
Content Troubleshooting
This is so archaic. Really?
OK, So... You're black 70 years ago..... Hey all the people around you have the same problem! It must be MY fault. I mean I'm black. I guess I should re-examine myself.
Are you for real with that explanation?
That's what happens when you wear a helmet your whole life!
My house rules
Toxicity comes in all forms. This thread is toxic because one guy is literally posting 5 times in a row having 7 conversations at once trying to get someone agree with him. I'm toxic because I'm pointing this out. The person below be will undoubtedly be toxic because he continues the negative form of thinking. Such is life. Let's not dwell on that though. Let's actually talk about the OP and their issue.
For what it's worth, I am truly sorry that the OP is having the issue they are having with the group they are having. Based on their post history they seem to be new to D&D. Since it is one of the older gaming communities there sadly does tend to be a lot of gate keeping and bigotry from older(not age, but how long they have been in the hobby) players. D&D is supposed to be what you and your group make it. It's supposed to be whimsical and fun and full of great adventures with epic stories. Or it can be a ragtag group of idiots who bumble around in a dungeon and somehow always succeed. It can be anything you want it to be, and your character can be anything you want it to be.
There are groups for everyone. Make the characters you want to make with the stories you develop for them. Introduce them how you feel. If a person in your group thinks you are pushing an agenda and you truly feel you aren't, bring it up with the DM. If that causes you to not be in that group, then it wasn't for you and don't feel bad! Who wants to be in a group that isn't accepting of the person behind the character? While you made conscious decisions to make the characters the way you made them, it isn't your fault that the people around you aren't accepting of those ideals. Don't surround yourself with that toxicity.
I'd be happy to continue to have a conversation with you on this matter, but no while you're up on your soapbox. If you find yourself unable to climb down, you might just be a bigot yourself, merely in the opposite direction.
Now for something more uplifting! @LordOfTheMemes things are getting better as time goes by and people learn better. The gaming industry is moving in a more accepting and more diverse direction all the time and a calculated grab for market share is seemingly only a small part of the motivation for that.
https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/y3mw5b/how-tabletop-rpgs-are-being-reclaimed-from-bigots-and-jerks
And now, with people being stuck at home, is also a great time to get into online roleplaying, specifically with groups that are diverse and accepting as part of their stated goals. You can start looking here: https://forum.rpg.net/index.php?forums/ye-olde-tavern-looking-for-group.21/
Canto alla vita
alla sua bellezza
ad ogni sua ferita
ogni sua carezza!
I sing to life and to its tragic beauty
To pain and to strife, but all that dances through me
The rise and the fall, I've lived through it all!