Bard: - I cast Command on them all, 5-th level. DM: <rolls>, so they all failed. What's your command. Bard: Let me think... DM: 5 seconds, think quickly. Bard: Well, shit... DM: OK, all 5 assassins spend their next turn shitting themselves.
Bard: - I cast Command on them all, 5-th level. DM: <rolls>, so they all failed. What's your command. Bard: Let me think... DM: 5 seconds, think quickly. Bard: Well, shit... DM: OK, all 5 assassins spend their next turn shitting themselves.
"BTW, for future reference, I would rule that using the cauldron with that particular payload is a valid use of a cannibal's 'Theft of Spirit' class feature, since exactly how much of the contents are your own excrement is really a technicality."
*Basically a spooky dragon is trying to communicate to the players directly via telepathy...*
The Dragon:
"O BEARER MINE."
What kind of talking skull would address its host that way? A stiff, stuck-up old fossil, not me. Ahamkara: the illusion that one's ego depends on an object, or an idea, or a body. Some people say you should have no ahamkara. Some people say you need to have the right ahamkara. All I know is that YOU are not an illusion. Understand? This world around you, the people you meet—they're a little thin, right? Cardboard and drywall. Cheap theater. Come on, try it out! Say: “I am more real than this.” Feels good, doesn't it? “I am the only real person here.” Isn't it like their insults and their bullets just went a little... soft?
I came to find you, only you, because you're special. You're from somewhere real. And together we can burn our way back there. Can't we, o roleplayers mine?
Player 1: Hold on a second here..."O roleplayers mine????"
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
The Tavern Mother (Trust me, it's not as weird as it sounds!)
I am the God-Queen of Trickery, Cunning, Lies, and Gaslighting- but you already knew that... "Moon's Haunted." *Cocks shotgun with malicious intent* "Eliksni must rise...yes?" _________ When it comes to pronouns I preferVariks-Senpai(But I'm a dude. Pronouns are weird.)
*me and my DM recounting the events of last session* me:" ah yes, I seem to remember everything except when we received the M14 PROTOTYPE ASSAULT RIFLE!!!"
The Tavern Mother (Trust me, it's not as weird as it sounds!)
I am the God-Queen of Trickery, Cunning, Lies, and Gaslighting- but you already knew that... "Moon's Haunted." *Cocks shotgun with malicious intent* "Eliksni must rise...yes?" _________ When it comes to pronouns I preferVariks-Senpai(But I'm a dude. Pronouns are weird.)
I can't stop thinking of: "Here. Tie this bit of rope to the end so we can keep climbing down." "Where'd you get this?" "I cut it from the top."
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Bahamut, in the guise of an old man (who looks & sounds like Sam Elliott), attempts to sway a kobold member of our party towards the path of cosmic goodness. The kobold does NOT know he is speaking to Bahamut:
Bahamut: "You wanna know the greatest & most difficult treasure a great dragon can add to their hoard? "
Kobold: (who is treasure obsessed) "Tell me of this treasure, old man!"
Bahamut: "It isn't found easily; it has to be earned. Can't be taken by force; it has to be given. And the only way to receive it...is to have it."
Kobold: "..."
Kobold: "...I did not ask for riddles! I asked for treasure!"
Kobold: "Give me the treasure, old man!"
Bahamut: (hands the kobold a scroll) "There ya go."
Kobold: (eyes the scroll)
Kobold: "...YOU'VE LIED TO ME, OLD MAN!"
Bahamut: "Go north; to The Icewind Dale. Visit Goodmead. Location is on that map there. I'll be waiting for you."
Kobold: (opens scroll, and a small gem falls out. Scribbled in the corner, in elegant handwriting, are the words: "More where that came from".)
Kobold: (looks up to see that the old man has vanished)
Kobold: "..."
Kobold: "...very well. I will claim your treasure as mine, old man! There is no escape!"
Druid, after casting the first 4th lvl spell in the campaign and getting their concentration broken before they could do anything: “....well, that was underwhelming.”
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
RIP Tavern.
All hail King Jovan Fluffycloud Prince
Teleporting elf monk supremacy!, but druids are better
[Cactus] Waffles!
”I don’t have any good quotes to put in my sig.” -Me
NNCHRIS: SOUL THIEF, MASTER OF THE ARCANE, AND KING OF NEW YORKNN Gdl Creator of Ilheia and her Knights of the Fallen Stars ldG Lesser Student of Technomancy [undergrad student in computer science] Supporter of the 2014 rules, and a MASSIVE Homebrewer. Come to me all ye who seek salvation in wording thy brews! Open to homebrew trades at any time!! Or feel free to request HB, and Ill see if I can get it done for ya! Characters (Outdated)
*DM narrating the rainforest* as you enter, you see a creature dart from tree to tree
Me OOC: I shoot my pistol at it, *rolls die*, 18
DM: okay you see a small splotch of blood drip to the ground
Me IC: *in my arnold shwarzenegger voice* " if it bleeds I can kill it"
*This is soooo good LOL!!*
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
The Tavern Mother (Trust me, it's not as weird as it sounds!)
I am the God-Queen of Trickery, Cunning, Lies, and Gaslighting- but you already knew that... "Moon's Haunted." *Cocks shotgun with malicious intent* "Eliksni must rise...yes?" _________ When it comes to pronouns I preferVariks-Senpai(But I'm a dude. Pronouns are weird.)
Nevermind, I broke the like button on all comments. But it resets when I reload the page.
Looking for a campaign? Or, perhaps, trying to start one? Come join Rolegate! Just send me a friend request (same name as here) and I'll help you get started!
Ducks are just geese lite. Focus on the future. It'll become the past soon enough.
Istari and White Counsel in Club. Not the wish-granter of a thread.
Become a Plague Doctor today!
Join the Knights of the Random Table and Calius and Kothar Industries!
Homebrew: Artifact, Dungeon
May be offline due to school
¨feel the wrath of bananas¨
the party druid after drowning a giant void monster in bananas
Check out my homebrew subclasses spells magic items feats monsters races
i am a sauce priest
help create a world here
Bard: - I cast Command on them all, 5-th level.
DM: <rolls>, so they all failed. What's your command.
Bard: Let me think...
DM: 5 seconds, think quickly.
Bard: Well, shit...
DM: OK, all 5 assassins spend their next turn shitting themselves.
Me (dm): okay as you come out of the trap door you see three people, they all look at you.
player: they have seen to much, I cast magic missile.
me: heh, okay roll damage.. wait they are just commoners, it does minimum 2 damage.. they all drop dead.
player: ha! Wait, I need to roll magic surge. *rolls one* HA! Yes! *rolls on table* HAHAHAHA! fire ball centered on me!
me: HAHAHA! You kill your self, and everyone in the inn, you start a raging fire and burn down the town.
me(dao warlock): i actually have not taken any damage this whole campaign
DM: well lets change that
me: do i get hit by a random pebble and take one bludgeoning damage-
DM: Yes you get hit by a random pebble for 1 bludgeoning damage
me: ha ha no
(dao warlocks get resistance to bludgeoning damage)
I am leader of the yep cult:https://www.dndbeyond.com/forums/off-topic/adohands-kitchen/82135-yep-cult Pronouns are she/her
And, they are doing it *well*.
Damned rogues with proficiencies, expertise and reliable talent in everything.
This just came up in play today:
"BTW, for future reference, I would rule that using the cauldron with that particular payload is a valid use of a cannibal's 'Theft of Spirit' class feature, since exactly how much of the contents are your own excrement is really a technicality."
*Basically a spooky dragon is trying to communicate to the players directly via telepathy...*
The Dragon:
"O BEARER MINE."
What kind of talking skull would address its host that way? A stiff, stuck-up old fossil, not me. Ahamkara: the illusion that one's ego depends on an object, or an idea, or a body. Some people say you should have no ahamkara. Some people say you need to have the right ahamkara. All I know is that YOU are not an illusion. Understand? This world around you, the people you meet—they're a little thin, right? Cardboard and drywall. Cheap theater. Come on, try it out! Say: “I am more real than this.” Feels good, doesn't it? “I am the only real person here.” Isn't it like their insults and their bullets just went a little... soft?
I came to find you, only you, because you're special. You're from somewhere real. And together we can burn our way back there. Can't we, o roleplayers mine?
Player 1: Hold on a second here..."O roleplayers mine????"
The Tavern Mother (Trust me, it's not as weird as it sounds!)
I am the God-Queen of Trickery, Cunning, Lies, and Gaslighting- but you already knew that...
"Moon's Haunted." *Cocks shotgun with malicious intent*
"Eliksni must rise...yes?"
_________
When it comes to pronouns I prefer Variks-Senpai (But I'm a dude. Pronouns are weird.)
*me and my DM recounting the events of last session* me:" ah yes, I seem to remember everything except when we received the M14 PROTOTYPE ASSAULT RIFLE!!!"
Mystic v3 should be official, nuff said.
"I need to find a way to make my arcane focus a gun."
Come participate in the Competition of the Finest Brews, Edition XXVIII?
My homebrew stuff:
Spells, Monsters, Magic Items, Feats, Subclasses.
I am an Archfey, but nobody seems to notice.
Extended Signature
~Famous last Words~"
"You still holding ladder??"
The Tavern Mother (Trust me, it's not as weird as it sounds!)
I am the God-Queen of Trickery, Cunning, Lies, and Gaslighting- but you already knew that...
"Moon's Haunted." *Cocks shotgun with malicious intent*
"Eliksni must rise...yes?"
_________
When it comes to pronouns I prefer Variks-Senpai (But I'm a dude. Pronouns are weird.)
I can't stop thinking of:
"Here. Tie this bit of rope to the end so we can keep climbing down."
"Where'd you get this?"
"I cut it from the top."
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Bahamut, in the guise of an old man (who looks & sounds like Sam Elliott), attempts to sway a kobold member of our party towards the path of cosmic goodness. The kobold does NOT know he is speaking to Bahamut:
Bahamut: "You wanna know the greatest & most difficult treasure a great dragon can add to their hoard? "
Kobold: (who is treasure obsessed) "Tell me of this treasure, old man!"
Bahamut: "It isn't found easily; it has to be earned. Can't be taken by force; it has to be given. And the only way to receive it...is to have it."
Kobold: "..."
Kobold: "...I did not ask for riddles! I asked for treasure!"
Kobold: "Give me the treasure, old man!"
Bahamut: (hands the kobold a scroll) "There ya go."
Kobold: (eyes the scroll)
Kobold: "...YOU'VE LIED TO ME, OLD MAN!"
Bahamut: "Go north; to The Icewind Dale. Visit Goodmead. Location is on that map there. I'll be waiting for you."
Kobold: (opens scroll, and a small gem falls out. Scribbled in the corner, in elegant handwriting, are the words: "More where that came from".)
Kobold: (looks up to see that the old man has vanished)
Kobold: "..."
Kobold: "...very well. I will claim your treasure as mine, old man! There is no escape!"
Druid, after casting the first 4th lvl spell in the campaign and getting their concentration broken before they could do anything: “....well, that was underwhelming.”
RIP Tavern.
All hail King Jovan Fluffycloud Prince
Teleporting elf monk supremacy!, but druids are better
[Cactus]Waffles!”I don’t have any good quotes to put in my sig.” -Me
"Strahd von Zarovich!? More like Strahd von lil' *****!"
*DM narrating the rainforest* as you enter, you see a creature dart from tree to tree
Me OOC: I shoot my pistol at it, *rolls die*, 18
DM: okay you see a small splotch of blood drip to the ground
Me IC: *in my arnold shwarzenegger voice* " if it bleeds I can kill it"
Mystic v3 should be official, nuff said.
player OOC: did i just die by ROPE??!!!!!!!
NNCHRIS: SOUL THIEF, MASTER OF THE ARCANE, AND KING OF NEW YORKNN
Gdl Creator of Ilheia and her Knights of the Fallen Stars ldG
Lesser Student of Technomancy [undergrad student in computer science]
Supporter of the 2014 rules, and a MASSIVE Homebrewer. Come to me all ye who seek salvation in wording thy brews!
Open to homebrew trades at any time!! Or feel free to request HB, and Ill see if I can get it done for ya!
Characters (Outdated)
*This is soooo good LOL!!*
The Tavern Mother (Trust me, it's not as weird as it sounds!)
I am the God-Queen of Trickery, Cunning, Lies, and Gaslighting- but you already knew that...
"Moon's Haunted." *Cocks shotgun with malicious intent*
"Eliksni must rise...yes?"
_________
When it comes to pronouns I prefer Variks-Senpai (But I'm a dude. Pronouns are weird.)
Thanks
Mystic v3 should be official, nuff said.