“You see, the “Yawning Portal” is named for that hole leading down into the Undermountain…as I understand, the name went through several iterations before arriving at that title: there was “The Gaping Chasm”…”Rock Bottom”…and, ah…”The Under-Hole”.
“All things considered…I think the name they settled on works well.”
A new to D&D player joined our level 9 party as a level 1 cleric (her choice, the DM offered to let her be level 9, but she'd thought starting at level 9 would be overwhelming).
Cleric: Now remember, the cleric is squishy, so protect the cleric.
[A few minutes later, the party encounters a 10-headed hydra who did not seem immediately hostile. It did, however, reach out and pick up the new cleric.]
Cleric: [ooc] I'm curious about hydras, so I stick my head in one of its mouths to count how many teeth it has.
[Shockingly, she survived. But several times after that...]
Cleric: Now remember, protect the cleric.
Wizard: Says the cleric who stuck her head into a hydra's mouth.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
=========================== Laugh at life or life will laugh at you.
Current D&D Characters: Kromen Flintfist, Hill Dwarf Order of the Scribes Wizard/Armorer Artificer Eiphrok, Half-Orc Oath of Glory Paladin/Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
"A flaming minotaur is giving the wererats a hug in therapy."
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Pronouns: he/him/his.
My posting scheduled is irregular: sometimes I can post twice a week, sometimes twice a day. I may also respond to quick questions, but ignore harder responses in favor of time.
My location is where my character for my home game is (we're doing the wild beyond the witchlight).
"The Doomvault... Probably full of unicorns and rainbows." -An imaginary quote
DM: You enter the room, and it appears to be more sleeping quarters, this one with six cots.
Player: I again check under the cots for any items.
DM: You find more dust bunnies.
Player: Should I roll for initiative?
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
=========================== Laugh at life or life will laugh at you.
Current D&D Characters: Kromen Flintfist, Hill Dwarf Order of the Scribes Wizard/Armorer Artificer Eiphrok, Half-Orc Oath of Glory Paladin/Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer
Party, attacked by 2 Umber Hulks, having been hit by their gaze, killed one, and all elected to avert their eyes every turn as they surround the last one:
(after 2 rounds):
Player 5: "I swear the other one went down easier than this!"
(Another full round passes of the party beating down on the Umber Hulk with every attack they have, with their eyes closed)
Player 5: "Ah screw it, I want to look at it and hit it!"
Me, DM: *Passes player a note* - "The monster is dead. It looks like it died a couple of rounds ago. Nobody has actually looked at it again to see."
"This conversation went from ethics to how our characters are basically just Raiden and Armstrong from MGRR but also not made by konami".
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
I am part of the Cult of Grammar. Respect us. Or we will find the slightest mistake in your grammar, and never let you forget it. Clones would have saved Star Wars, and Kylo Ren sucks. MAKE THE EMPIRE GREAT AGAIN!!! I am a stormtrooper, and the Skywalker family is made of nothing but idiots who are insane. Cough Anakin and Luke Skywalker Cough
“Ah, a newcomer…! Welcome to the Temple of Hoar; please come inside, and…”
(giggles at my table)
DM: ”…and I just realized how that sounds.”
(…later on…)
Hoar Priest: “I see your friend has joined us…Hoar’s blessings upon you. Please come inside, and…”
(giggling continues)
Hoar Priest: ”…why does everyone laugh when I say that!?”
(…even more later…)
Hoar Priest: “Take off your shirt, traveler, and lay by the fire…”
(table starts howling with laughter)
DM: ”It’s NOT that kind of ritual, people!”
(some context: the player is a Reborn Paladin of Hoar; who was brutally murdered in an epilogue from a previous campaign. His body is decomposing; and the Hoar priest was attempting to stabilize the worst of it so that the character could move about the city without suspicion)
Bugbear Druid: “Oh, great Halitosis Blackstaff; I seek to get revenge against the Red Wizards of Them by replacing a goldfish…can you help me?”
Halaster Blackcloak: (takes big swig of ale from a tankard) “Ah…YES.”
(a pause)
Bugbear Druid: “…WILL you help me?”
Halaster Blackcloak: (takes another drink) “Ah…No!”
“You see, the “Yawning Portal” is named for that hole leading down into the Undermountain…as I understand, the name went through several iterations before arriving at that title: there was “The Gaping Chasm”…”Rock Bottom”…and, ah…”The Under-Hole”.
“All things considered…I think the name they settled on works well.”
"*Name of Barbarian/Wizard*, the frost elemental has disengaged in order to not have to deal with your nonsense."
Former Spider Queen of the Spider Guild, and friendly neighborhood scheming creature.
"Made by spiders, for spiders, of spiders."
My pronouns are she/her.
Web Weaver of Everlasting Narrative! (title bestowed by Drummer)
A new to D&D player joined our level 9 party as a level 1 cleric (her choice, the DM offered to let her be level 9, but she'd thought starting at level 9 would be overwhelming).
Cleric: Now remember, the cleric is squishy, so protect the cleric.
[A few minutes later, the party encounters a 10-headed hydra who did not seem immediately hostile. It did, however, reach out and pick up the new cleric.]
Cleric: [ooc] I'm curious about hydras, so I stick my head in one of its mouths to count how many teeth it has.
[Shockingly, she survived. But several times after that...]
Cleric: Now remember, protect the cleric.
Wizard: Says the cleric who stuck her head into a hydra's mouth.
===========================
Laugh at life or life will laugh at you.
Current D&D Characters:
Kromen Flintfist, Hill Dwarf Order of the Scribes Wizard/Armorer Artificer
Eiphrok, Half-Orc Oath of Glory Paladin/Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer
"Oh no, I drugged the goose!"
Former Spider Queen of the Spider Guild, and friendly neighborhood scheming creature.
"Made by spiders, for spiders, of spiders."
My pronouns are she/her.
Web Weaver of Everlasting Narrative! (title bestowed by Drummer)
Referring of drugs...
I can't imagine anything better than this. (I find them to be hit-and-miss, but this one got me good.) https://youtu.be/WJzKrVo6Eu8?t=3293
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
"A flaming minotaur is giving the wererats a hug in therapy."
Pronouns: he/him/his.
My posting scheduled is irregular: sometimes I can post twice a week, sometimes twice a day. I may also respond to quick questions, but ignore harder responses in favor of time.
My location is where my character for my home game is (we're doing the wild beyond the witchlight).
"The Doomvault... Probably full of unicorns and rainbows." -An imaginary quote
Me: "I suck the meat juice out, freeze it, and throw it at the bunny."
DM: "What?"
⌜╔═════════════ The Board ══════════════╗⌝
...and started me on my way into my next chapter in life...
⌞╚════════════ Extended Signature ════════════╝⌟
“I’m sorry about my companions, one’s mute and the other’s weird”
“I’m not mute, I’m just not good at socializing”
“they’re both weird”
I have stolen your shredded cheese.
AgateElk8337’s Doppelgänger
DM: You enter the room, and it appears to be more sleeping quarters, this one with six cots.
Player: I again check under the cots for any items.
DM: You find more dust bunnies.
Player: Should I roll for initiative?
===========================
Laugh at life or life will laugh at you.
Current D&D Characters:
Kromen Flintfist, Hill Dwarf Order of the Scribes Wizard/Armorer Artificer
Eiphrok, Half-Orc Oath of Glory Paladin/Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer
Dm, who allowed shifters for the campaign: please don’t tell me you have a cat girl character
me, not the only one: I have a cat girl character, but he’s a boy
I have stolen your shredded cheese.
AgateElk8337’s Doppelgänger
Sort of a quote, more a string of events:
Party, attacked by 2 Umber Hulks, having been hit by their gaze, killed one, and all elected to avert their eyes every turn as they surround the last one:
(after 2 rounds):
Player 5: "I swear the other one went down easier than this!"
(Another full round passes of the party beating down on the Umber Hulk with every attack they have, with their eyes closed)
Player 5: "Ah screw it, I want to look at it and hit it!"
Me, DM: *Passes player a note* - "The monster is dead. It looks like it died a couple of rounds ago. Nobody has actually looked at it again to see."
Make your Artificer work with any other class with 174 Multiclassing Feats for your Artificer Multiclass Character!
DM's Guild Releases on This Thread Or check them all out on DMs Guild!
DrivethruRPG Releases on This Thread - latest release: My Character is a Werewolf: balanced rules for Lycanthropy!
I have started discussing/reviewing 3rd party D&D content on Substack - stay tuned for semi-regular posts!
"This conversation went from ethics to how our characters are basically just Raiden and Armstrong from MGRR but also not made by konami".
I am part of the Cult of Grammar. Respect us. Or we will find the slightest mistake in your grammar, and never let you forget it.
Clones would have saved Star Wars, and Kylo Ren sucks.
MAKE THE EMPIRE GREAT AGAIN!!! I am a stormtrooper, and the Skywalker family is made of nothing but idiots who are insane. Cough Anakin and Luke Skywalker Cough
Don't even TRY to argue with me about Star Wars.
“I can’t digest fish!”
“I can’t digest!”
"We're traveling across the entire solar system... for drugs. Ok. Whatever."
⌜╔═════════════ The Board ══════════════╗⌝
...and started me on my way into my next chapter in life...
⌞╚════════════ Extended Signature ════════════╝⌟
I really said this. Cody is a ghost because he annoyed the DM too much.(not me)
“Cody, why did you write ‘cum’ on the floor in ghosts ****?”
I’m Purplyte. Silly little weirdo.
𝐷𝑂𝑁𝑇 𝑀𝐼𝑁𝐷 𝑇𝐻𝐸 𝐹𝑂𝑁𝑇.
𝐴𝐿𝑊𝐴𝑌𝑆 𝐵𝑂𝑅𝐸𝐷
𝐹𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑓𝑟𝑒𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑑 𝑚𝑒 𝑎 𝑃𝑀. 𝑂𝑝𝑒𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑎𝑙𝑚𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑅𝑃!
looks at hill giant with a large tree in there hands "I can catch that" then proceeds to use deflect missiles on the tree as it impales him
and
"Shut up angel, you taste like chicken and the demon baby knows it."
"Anyone can smith at the cosmic anvil, yet only I can forge a weapon as good as thee."
My Homebrew Please click it, they have my family.
"Give me the rubber duck, or I'm blowing this ship to pieces."
⌜╔═════════════ The Board ══════════════╗⌝
...and started me on my way into my next chapter in life...
⌞╚════════════ Extended Signature ════════════╝⌟
“Ah, a newcomer…! Welcome to the Temple of Hoar; please come inside, and…”
(giggles at my table)
DM: ”…and I just realized how that sounds.”
(…later on…)
Hoar Priest: “I see your friend has joined us…Hoar’s blessings upon you. Please come inside, and…”
(giggling continues)
Hoar Priest: ”…why does everyone laugh when I say that!?”
(…even more later…)
Hoar Priest: “Take off your shirt, traveler, and lay by the fire…”
(table starts howling with laughter)
DM: ”It’s NOT that kind of ritual, people!”
(some context: the player is a Reborn Paladin of Hoar; who was brutally murdered in an epilogue from a previous campaign. His body is decomposing; and the Hoar priest was attempting to stabilize the worst of it so that the character could move about the city without suspicion)
*Sounds like you have a fun group, Tony*
⌜╔═════════════ The Board ══════════════╗⌝
...and started me on my way into my next chapter in life...
⌞╚════════════ Extended Signature ════════════╝⌟