"Why is it always me?!" -The only PC who kept getting knocked out with 0HP and Death Saves at the major encounters...
(The player, other players, and DM were rather solid - no favoritism or bad tactics, but the player's rolls in general were mostly rather ****e throughout. I know those feelz too well. Stupid dice. Wanna punch 'em.)🤬
EDIT:
NPC (DM): "No offence, but you're kinda unimportant." Player 3: "WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?!" NPC: "I also said, 'No offence.' So, it can't be offensive. That's how it works. Right?" Player 3: "Yeah. You're right." Player 4 to NPC: "Well, you're kind of a *****. No offence."
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
"Why is it always me?!" -The only PC who kept getting knocked out with 0HP and Death Saves at the major encounters...
(The player, other players, and DM were rather solid - no favoritism or bad tactics, but the player's rolls in general were mostly rather ****e throughout. I know those feelz too well. Stupid dice. Wanna punch 'em.)🤬
EDIT:
NPC (DM): "No offence, but you're kinda unimportant." Player 3: "WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?!" NPC: "I also said, 'No offence.' So, it can't be offensive. That's how it works. Right?" Player 3: "Yeah. You're right." Player 4 to NPC: "Well, you're kind of a *****. No offence."
I usually respond with, Oh no it wasn't offensive you disgusting pig
Our party had befriended a gold dragon wyrmling that had the ability to shapechange into a human form. Later we picked up a new player that was unaware of her race.
We were in combat and things got dangerous and she turned into a gold dragon to fly.
I immediately said "Yeah, everyone, time to turn into dragons and fly out of here."
The new guy had this look on his face and said "What?"
I looked at him and said "You can turn into a dragon, right? Guys, I thought we agreed, only dragons."
Player 1: "[Player 2] stop being a stupid f***ing c***. Come on. Let's do it. Let's beat this bloody giant, and you can stop being a stupid f***ing c***." Player 2: "Right! I feel inspired by that! Good! Thank you, [Player 1]!" Player 1: "Y'welcome, mate." Player 2: "You've got a voice of silk."
To be fair to her, Player 2, the only one who could speak Giant, decided to forego dialog and attack a big bloody giant despite everyone's protests.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Player 1: "[Player 2] stop being a stupid f***ing c***. Come on. Let's do it. Let's beat this bloody giant, and you can stop being a stupid f***ing c***." Player 2: "Right! I feel inspired by that! Good! Thank you, [Player 1]!" Player 1: "Y'welcome, mate." Player 2: "You've got a voice of silk."
To be fair to her, Player 2, the only one who could speak Giant, decided to forego dialog and attack a big bloody giant despite everyone's protests.
Man, watching "The Boys" has me reading this in Billy Butcher's accent.
I am part of the Cult of Grammar. Respect us. Or we will find the slightest mistake in your grammar, and never let you forget it. Clones would have saved Star Wars, and Kylo Ren sucks. MAKE THE EMPIRE GREAT AGAIN!!! I am a stormtrooper, and the Skywalker family is made of nothing but idiots who are insane. Cough Anakin and Luke Skywalker Cough
Player 1: "[Player 2] stop being a stupid f***ing c***. Come on. Let's do it. Let's beat this bloody giant, and you can stop being a stupid f***ing c***." Player 2: "Right! I feel inspired by that! Good! Thank you, [Player 1]!" Player 1: "Y'welcome, mate." Player 2: "You've got a voice of silk."
To be fair to her, Player 2, the only one who could speak Giant, decided to forego dialog and attack a big bloody giant despite everyone's protests.
Man, watching "The Boys" has me reading this in Billy Butcher's accent.
Player 1: "[Player 2] stop being a stupid f***ing c***. Come on. Let's do it. Let's beat this bloody giant, and you can stop being a stupid f***ing c***." Player 2: "Right! I feel inspired by that! Good! Thank you, [Player 1]!" Player 1: "Y'welcome, mate." Player 2: "You've got a voice of silk."
To be fair to her, Player 2, the only one who could speak Giant, decided to forego dialog and attack a big bloody giant despite everyone's protests.
Man, watching "The Boys" has me reading this in Billy Butcher's accent.
Same.
To be fair to Player 2, the reason he gave for attacking a big bloody giant was that he was absolutely certain that they weren't going to leave without having to fight the giant. "I know enough about D&D to know that we're gonna have to fight that thing!" In a behind-the-screen stream with the DM, the DM confirmed that, no matter what, they were indeed going to fight that giant and Player 2 was right. Her song was still appropriate to what the players knew at the time, though.
EDIT: Back to being fair to Player 1, Player 2's "taking initiative" never gave anyone a chance to make use of surprise against the giant that was blatantly obviously intended for the players' benefit (and also confessed by the DM in his behind-the-screen stream to be the purpose). She was able to buy them another round with an illusion, though.
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
"Ahhhh why is it so hard to die" My friend tried to die by kamikaze because he hated his character and then goes and does the best rolling I have ever seen he takes out 10 guards before the DM takes mercy on him.
"Ahhhh why is it so hard to die" My friend tried to die by kamikaze because he hated his character and then goes and does the best rolling I have ever seen he takes out 10 guards before the DM takes mercy on him.
wow that's crazy. Recently I consistently got terrible rolls at the best of times. I had a Shadow Striker battlecaster (more on that later) in a gambling game, and I rolled 2 CONSECUTIVE 1's on the d20, so he went broke quickly
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Rogue Shadow, the DM (and occasional) PC with schemes of inventive thinking
In last week's session, our paladin was petrified by a medusa. The player wasn't present in this week's session.
NPC: Where's your paladin friend? Player1: Stoned out of her mind.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
=========================== Laugh at life or life will laugh at you.
Current D&D Characters: Kromen Flintfist, Hill Dwarf Order of the Scribes Wizard/Armorer Artificer Eiphrok, Half-Orc Oath of Glory Paladin/Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer
The whole party is constantly joking about the enemy's butt during a boss encounter.
DM: What's the average age here? 35? Party: It's around 32 I think. DM: Okay. I DM a group where the average age is 13, and sometimes, it's hard to tell the difference. Player 2: Poopoofartypoopoo? What do you mean? Player 5: Did you just say, "poopoofartypoopoo"? All players start acting like toddlers laughing about "poopoofartypoopoo". DM: 🤦🏻♂️
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
The whole party is constantly joking about the enemy's butt during a boss encounter.
DM: What's the average age here? 35? Party: It's around 32 I think. DM: Okay. I DM a group where the average age is 13, and sometimes, it's hard to tell the difference. Player 2: Poopoofartypoopoo? What do you mean? Player 5: Did you just say, "poopoofartypoopoo"? All players start acting like toddlers laughing about "poopoofartypoopoo". DM: 🤦🏻♂️
TBH, depending on the party, it's extremely difficult to tell. Plus some could be dads and that is why they are immature.
This talk of butts reminds me of something from a few months ago, so I don't remember everything specifically. But our DM had a group of "ruffians" miniatures that fulfilled the role of any group of mercenaries or pirates we ever encountered. They were all pretty generic, except for one that had huge striped genie pants, which we all eventually started calling "MC Hammer". Through some pretty awful dice rolls, we managed to go through two whole rounds of combat without anyone landing a single hit on him...
Paladin: Agh! A one! I just can't hit this guy!
Me: Would you say you... Can't Touch This?
Half the group starts laughing, the other half throws d4's at me. We all decided that his pants were deflecting our attacks.
One of the players is a kinda new dad. The rest are not mothers or fathers... yet.
Ref: Same giant fight as prior...
Player 3: "Will someone tell me what's going on?!"🤦🏻♂️ Player 4: "We're fighting a giant." Player 3: "Yeah... but why?!"🤷🏻♂️
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
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"Why is it always me?!"
-The only PC who kept getting knocked out with 0HP and Death Saves at the major encounters...
(The player, other players, and DM were rather solid - no favoritism or bad tactics, but the player's rolls in general were mostly rather ****e throughout. I know those feelz too well. Stupid dice. Wanna punch 'em.)🤬
EDIT:
NPC (DM): "No offence, but you're kinda unimportant."
Player 3: "WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?!"
NPC: "I also said, 'No offence.' So, it can't be offensive. That's how it works. Right?"
Player 3: "Yeah. You're right."
Player 4 to NPC: "Well, you're kind of a *****. No offence."
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
"i don't care if im not that flexible" 2 minutes later both of his legs are broken
Black Lives Matter
Count as high as you can before Nikoli_Goodfellow Posts!
Extended Signature, The Best Paradox, We all knew it.
I participate in the Level 20 Gladiator Arena with several champions they are all in my extended signature Win Streak: 0 Total Wins: 19 Total Loses: 6
I usually respond with, Oh no it wasn't offensive you disgusting pig
: Systems Online : Nikoli_Goodfellow Homebrew : My WIP Homebrew Class :
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( u u)
o/ \🥛🍪 Hey, take care of yourself alright?
Our party had befriended a gold dragon wyrmling that had the ability to shapechange into a human form. Later we picked up a new player that was unaware of her race.
We were in combat and things got dangerous and she turned into a gold dragon to fly.
I immediately said "Yeah, everyone, time to turn into dragons and fly out of here."
The new guy had this look on his face and said "What?"
I looked at him and said "You can turn into a dragon, right? Guys, I thought we agreed, only dragons."
From a stream:
She sings a song of "Bardic Inspiration":
Player 1: "[Player 2] stop being a stupid f***ing c***. Come on. Let's do it. Let's beat this bloody giant, and you can stop being a stupid f***ing c***."
Player 2: "Right! I feel inspired by that! Good! Thank you, [Player 1]!"
Player 1: "Y'welcome, mate."
Player 2: "You've got a voice of silk."
To be fair to her, Player 2, the only one who could speak Giant, decided to forego dialog and attack a big bloody giant despite everyone's protests.
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Man, watching "The Boys" has me reading this in Billy Butcher's accent.
"No, the apples do not yell!"
"Roll for mom."
"How many eggs are in the pillow?"
"Congratulations, you've made a cat scream."
"Grab the pants!"
"I cast 'f*** you'."
"I'm gonna stab him with a baguette."
- With all due respects, your friendly neighbourhood alchemist
DM: you take 1 fire damage from your Hot Pocket
Black Lives Matter
Count as high as you can before Nikoli_Goodfellow Posts!
Extended Signature, The Best Paradox, We all knew it.
I participate in the Level 20 Gladiator Arena with several champions they are all in my extended signature Win Streak: 0 Total Wins: 19 Total Loses: 6
Ignore. I reconsidered about this post.
I am part of the Cult of Grammar. Respect us. Or we will find the slightest mistake in your grammar, and never let you forget it.
Clones would have saved Star Wars, and Kylo Ren sucks.
MAKE THE EMPIRE GREAT AGAIN!!! I am a stormtrooper, and the Skywalker family is made of nothing but idiots who are insane. Cough Anakin and Luke Skywalker Cough
Don't even TRY to argue with me about Star Wars.
"The dog is licking my a$$hole!"
No context needed.
- With all due respects, your friendly neighbourhood alchemist
Same.
To be fair to Player 2, the reason he gave for attacking a big bloody giant was that he was absolutely certain that they weren't going to leave without having to fight the giant. "I know enough about D&D to know that we're gonna have to fight that thing!" In a behind-the-screen stream with the DM, the DM confirmed that, no matter what, they were indeed going to fight that giant and Player 2 was right. Her song was still appropriate to what the players knew at the time, though.
EDIT: Back to being fair to Player 1, Player 2's "taking initiative" never gave anyone a chance to make use of surprise against the giant that was blatantly obviously intended for the players' benefit (and also confessed by the DM in his behind-the-screen stream to be the purpose). She was able to buy them another round with an illusion, though.
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
"Ahhhh why is it so hard to die" My friend tried to die by kamikaze because he hated his character and then goes and does the best rolling I have ever seen he takes out 10 guards before the DM takes mercy on him.
Black Lives Matter
Count as high as you can before Nikoli_Goodfellow Posts!
Extended Signature, The Best Paradox, We all knew it.
I participate in the Level 20 Gladiator Arena with several champions they are all in my extended signature Win Streak: 0 Total Wins: 19 Total Loses: 6
wow that's crazy. Recently I consistently got terrible rolls at the best of times. I had a Shadow Striker battlecaster (more on that later) in a gambling game, and I rolled 2 CONSECUTIVE 1's on the d20, so he went broke quickly
Rogue Shadow, the DM (and occasional) PC with schemes of inventive thinking
In last week's session, our paladin was petrified by a medusa. The player wasn't present in this week's session.
NPC: Where's your paladin friend?
Player1: Stoned out of her mind.
===========================
Laugh at life or life will laugh at you.
Current D&D Characters:
Kromen Flintfist, Hill Dwarf Order of the Scribes Wizard/Armorer Artificer
Eiphrok, Half-Orc Oath of Glory Paladin/Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer
Paladin: "I attempt to hold off the kobolds so that my allies can get away."
Cleric: "What? No!" (proceeds to run back into the chamber)
Paladin: "There's too many! Save yourselves!"
Ranger: "Nobody gets left behind!" (leaps back down to engage the kobold swarm)
Paladin: "Seriously, get out while you still can."
Warlock: "I suppose I will assist them" (casually walks back into chamber and starts blasting)
Paladin: "Guys, real talk: I REALLY wanted to do the whole "noble sacrifice" thing here."
Cleric: "I just cut one down!"
Ranger: "Got another!"
Warlock: "Nobody dies today."
Paladin: "Dammit."
(later on, while we're gathered around the campfire, the Paladin is sulking)
Paladin: "...all I wanted was a valiant death..."
Paraphrased from a recent stream:
The whole party is constantly joking about the enemy's butt during a boss encounter.
DM: What's the average age here? 35?
Party: It's around 32 I think.
DM: Okay. I DM a group where the average age is 13, and sometimes, it's hard to tell the difference.
Player 2: Poopoofartypoopoo? What do you mean?
Player 5: Did you just say, "poopoofartypoopoo"?
All players start acting like toddlers laughing about "poopoofartypoopoo".
DM: 🤦🏻♂️
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
TBH, depending on the party, it's extremely difficult to tell. Plus some could be dads and that is why they are immature.
This talk of butts reminds me of something from a few months ago, so I don't remember everything specifically. But our DM had a group of "ruffians" miniatures that fulfilled the role of any group of mercenaries or pirates we ever encountered. They were all pretty generic, except for one that had huge striped genie pants, which we all eventually started calling "MC Hammer". Through some pretty awful dice rolls, we managed to go through two whole rounds of combat without anyone landing a single hit on him...
Paladin: Agh! A one! I just can't hit this guy!
Me: Would you say you... Can't Touch This?
Half the group starts laughing, the other half throws d4's at me. We all decided that his pants were deflecting our attacks.
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One of the players is a kinda new dad. The rest are not mothers or fathers... yet.
Ref: Same giant fight as prior...
Player 3: "Will someone tell me what's going on?!"🤦🏻♂️
Player 4: "We're fighting a giant."
Player 3: "Yeah... but why?!"🤷🏻♂️
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.