I bet YOU’VE all wanted an ampersand on your head!
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If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving is not for you.
DM for: Wrath of Ashardalon, Aeterna, Fallen Angel’s Requiem
Characters: Eden Tealeaf, Human Fey Wanderer (retired), Charles Tristan Aurelius Esq., Half-Elf Profane Soul Blood Hunter (playing in Red Grave by Pag12)
Currently working on Kairon’s Cabinet of Curiosities, a homebrew compendium to simplify and spice up your game.
"wait, so we accepted a quest from a super suspicious hooded stranger in a tavern, and by doing so accidentally doomed the multiverse?"
DM: yeah, pretty much
---------------------- Me: "I made my character to be the annoying chaotic gremlin of the group (CN wild magic sorcerer), but the other players were just so much more chaotic than me, so I became the normal one."
*cracks knuckles* Right. The party was looking a necromancer. We'd been given a magical compass that would tell us his exact location, and it led us to a cottage in the woods. We knock on the door, and out comes this tiny old man who is very freaked out by the grim, armed-to-the-teeth adventurers on his doorstep. This old man says he's never heard of the necromancer we're looking for, and we search his cottage and find nothing out of the ordinary. But the compass says this is the place. So we're all looking at each other, silently asking if we're really about to violently interrogate an old man. And the answer was yes. So - roll for elder abuse. (it's all good though, turns out him and the house were just an illusion concealing the necromancer's secret underground lair.)
The players were heading to a city that was under attack from some Orcs and some kind of plague. It never occurred to them to buy some horses. So, they were on foot. The DM uses exhaustion rules. So, the players stopped at a crossroads village that was shuttered after hearing of the attack on the city. In trying to swindle their way into town, they convinced the guards that they were scheduled to perform at the tavern, which they kept up the ruse as night falls. As they are attempting their performance checks...
Player 6 (OOC): "I'm imagining this scene with us, the heroes, dancing and singing in this tavern and a hard-cut to the city on fire with people screaming."
Player 1 (who kept trying to urge the party onward and refused to enter the tavern): "My character just looks at the red glow on the distant horizon, and a single tear goes down his cheek."
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Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
*cracks knuckles* Right. The party was looking a necromancer. We'd been given a magical compass that would tell us his exact location, and it led us to a cottage in the woods. We knock on the door, and out comes this tiny old man who is very freaked out by the grim, armed-to-the-teeth adventurers on his doorstep. This old man says he's never heard of the necromancer we're looking for, and we search his cottage and find nothing out of the ordinary. But the compass says this is the place. So we're all looking at each other, silently asking if we're really about to violently interrogate an old man. And the answer was yes. So - roll for elder abuse. (it's all good though, turns out him and the house were just an illusion concealing the necromancer's secret underground lair.)
I think it's also worth mentioning that our swashbuckler rogue made the roll and got a nat 20, and he decided to request that, "This 20 is not how *hard* I am abusing him, but the *accuracy* with which I abuse him."
How did they do on their performance checks, Eric?
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Maximilian "Mad Max" Oceanus, transmutation wizard, best known for being on the team that saved the universe from Kozelak's infinite hunger, and also an avenger of the Unspoken. Olaf Ericsson, a jolly ranger with a bit of an anger problem. Also likes to sing. Yaethel Akeelan, a druid with a plan; a very, very big plan. Damien Rook, full time author, part time adventurer. Plays god on Saturdays.
The Tiefling cast Silence on the snooty High Elf who kept singing IRL which engulfed a good portion of the tavern, including the barkeep - which did make him stop singing IRL but he continued to silently mouth the words to some song.
She dispelled it when she decided she wanted to follow a mysterious man outside (and the player immediately starting singing audibly again).
After that, the Goliath came back inside (the one shedding a tear) and decided to try to perform. He and the snooty High Elf rolled middling. The beatboxing Warforged (who had just been reunited with his creator) rolled high. The old Gnome who had never been away from home before rolled a nat 1 and fell off a table. ...and during this, the Tiefling got stabbed in surprise by the mysterious man around the side of the tavern - with a crit - and nobody inside could see it.
It was 50% a trainwreck that just kept getting worse through the rest of the campaign. Never quite reached 100% trainwreck, but did reach 100% clusterduck at the end.
When they finally got to the city, the "plague" was a mind disease that made everyone (including the invading Orcs) give into the basest desires - gambling, excess, and lots and lots of sex all over the place. Two of the party said, "I don't see what's so wrong about all of this."
EDIT: In fact when they learned what was happening, they made a beeline to the city at top speed - several of them wanting to see if they could join in the fun.
(Given that this was a world created by one of the players that's used for an online comedy skit series, the player declared that the orgy is not canon in the setting. The DM has neither confirmed nor denied the status of the Great Orgy.)
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
DM: two frost giants and a fire giant stand around a large table, gambling
My PC who speaks Giant: "May I join?"(Rolls nat 20)
DM: You were supposed to fight the giants, not gamble with them
PC with a thousand more gold pieces: "Hmm?"
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I exist. Or do I? Am I the caster or the illusion, is the illusion everything I perceive or one particular thing? Are illusions just illusions that make us think what is real is an illusion? is reality an illusion? is that question an illusion?
DM: two frost giants and a fire giant stand around a large table, gambling
My PC who speaks Giant: "May I join?"(Rolls nat 20)
DM: You were supposed to fight the giants, not gamble with them
PC with a thousand more gold pieces: "Hmm?"
i don't think the DM understands how players function.
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Born under the watch of something from the furthest corners of the far realms.... It knows all.... it sees all... and it asks: "What is it that you want to see?"... and my answer is... ALL"
I exist. Or do I? Am I the caster or the illusion, is the illusion everything I perceive or one particular thing? Are illusions just illusions that make us think what is real is an illusion? is reality an illusion? is that question an illusion?
just had some orcs engage in and flee after 1 round of combat. After it was over (they thought) these comments came up when they found out that that behaviour wasn't natural:
"They didn't act like typical orcs, maybe they weren't. What if it was like an illusion? Not the illusions I can do but like that?" She asks as she ponders the unusual behavior of the orcs.
"Never met an illusion that could bleed me before, lass," says Zakon. "In any case, if they are that fast and deadly, perhaps we should aim for smaller prey?"
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Rogue Shadow, the DM (and occasional) PC with schemes of inventive thinking
DM: "You know that Sorcerers, although they are much rarer than Wizards, are sometimes just born inherently with magic. They're people with talent rather than skill."
DM (continuing): "Wizards are people with skill - people who've studied this."
DM (continuing): "...and then there are other people who have just slept with the teacher, and those people are called Warlocks and they have been imbued magic by a pact of some kind with an already powerful being."
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
DM: "You know that Sorcerers, although they are much rarer than Wizards, are sometimes just born inherently with magic. They're people with talent rather than skill."
DM (continuing): "Wizards are people with skill - people who've studied this."
DM (continuing): "...and then there are other people who have just slept with the teacher, and those people are called Warlocks and they have been imbued magic by a pact of some kind with an already powerful being."
🤣
(All my past Warlocks feel dirty now.)
this reminds me of a comment on the warlock 101 thread
I bet YOU’VE all wanted an ampersand on your head!
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving is not for you.
DM for: Wrath of Ashardalon, Aeterna, Fallen Angel’s Requiem
Characters: Eden Tealeaf, Human Fey Wanderer (retired), Charles Tristan Aurelius Esq., Half-Elf Profane Soul Blood Hunter (playing in Red Grave by Pag12)
Currently working on Kairon’s Cabinet of Curiosities, a homebrew compendium to simplify and spice up your game.
Roll for elder abuse!
Nikolai Buckman | vampire | bard
Solace Redgrove | tiefling | bard
our barbarian keeps trying to break the walls of a dungeon
DM: Stop breaking my game!
I am leader of the yep cult:https://www.dndbeyond.com/forums/off-topic/adohands-kitchen/82135-yep-cult Pronouns are she/her
I feel like there is a story behind this.
"wait, so we accepted a quest from a super suspicious hooded stranger in a tavern, and by doing so accidentally doomed the multiverse?"
DM: yeah, pretty much
----------------------
Me: "I made my character to be the annoying chaotic gremlin of the group (CN wild magic sorcerer), but the other players were just so much more chaotic than me, so I became the normal one."
Proud poster on the Create a World thread
*cracks knuckles* Right. The party was looking a necromancer. We'd been given a magical compass that would tell us his exact location, and it led us to a cottage in the woods. We knock on the door, and out comes this tiny old man who is very freaked out by the grim, armed-to-the-teeth adventurers on his doorstep. This old man says he's never heard of the necromancer we're looking for, and we search his cottage and find nothing out of the ordinary. But the compass says this is the place. So we're all looking at each other, silently asking if we're really about to violently interrogate an old man. And the answer was yes. So - roll for elder abuse. (it's all good though, turns out him and the house were just an illusion concealing the necromancer's secret underground lair.)
Nikolai Buckman | vampire | bard
Solace Redgrove | tiefling | bard
Me (a drunk 7 year old in game):"OH! WE CAN PLAY DONKEY KONG COUNTRY IN THERE!!
Cleric: Wait. does that game even exists in this universe??
Me: Nope~
Cleric: okay then we're leaving
The players were heading to a city that was under attack from some Orcs and some kind of plague. It never occurred to them to buy some horses. So, they were on foot. The DM uses exhaustion rules. So, the players stopped at a crossroads village that was shuttered after hearing of the attack on the city. In trying to swindle their way into town, they convinced the guards that they were scheduled to perform at the tavern, which they kept up the ruse as night falls. As they are attempting their performance checks...
Player 6 (OOC): "I'm imagining this scene with us, the heroes, dancing and singing in this tavern and a hard-cut to the city on fire with people screaming."
Player 1 (who kept trying to urge the party onward and refused to enter the tavern): "My character just looks at the red glow on the distant horizon, and a single tear goes down his cheek."
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
I think it's also worth mentioning that our swashbuckler rogue made the roll and got a nat 20, and he decided to request that, "This 20 is not how *hard* I am abusing him, but the *accuracy* with which I abuse him."
Nikolai Buckman | vampire | bard
Solace Redgrove | tiefling | bard
How did they do on their performance checks, Eric?
Maximilian "Mad Max" Oceanus, transmutation wizard, best known for being on the team that saved the universe from Kozelak's infinite hunger, and also an avenger of the Unspoken.
Olaf Ericsson, a jolly ranger with a bit of an anger problem. Also likes to sing.
Yaethel Akeelan, a druid with a plan; a very, very big plan.
Damien Rook, full time author, part time adventurer.
Plays god on Saturdays.
The Tiefling cast Silence on the snooty High Elf who kept singing IRL which engulfed a good portion of the tavern, including the barkeep - which did make him stop singing IRL but he continued to silently mouth the words to some song.
She dispelled it when she decided she wanted to follow a mysterious man outside (and the player immediately starting singing audibly again).
After that, the Goliath came back inside (the one shedding a tear) and decided to try to perform. He and the snooty High Elf rolled middling. The beatboxing Warforged (who had just been reunited with his creator) rolled high. The old Gnome who had never been away from home before rolled a nat 1 and fell off a table. ...and during this, the Tiefling got stabbed in surprise by the mysterious man around the side of the tavern - with a crit - and nobody inside could see it.
It was 50% a trainwreck that just kept getting worse through the rest of the campaign. Never quite reached 100% trainwreck, but did reach 100% clusterduck at the end.
When they finally got to the city, the "plague" was a mind disease that made everyone (including the invading Orcs) give into the basest desires - gambling, excess, and lots and lots of sex all over the place. Two of the party said, "I don't see what's so wrong about all of this."
EDIT: In fact when they learned what was happening, they made a beeline to the city at top speed - several of them wanting to see if they could join in the fun.
(Given that this was a world created by one of the players that's used for an online comedy skit series, the player declared that the orgy is not canon in the setting. The DM has neither confirmed nor denied the status of the Great Orgy.)
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
DM: two frost giants and a fire giant stand around a large table, gambling
My PC who speaks Giant: "May I join?"(Rolls nat 20)
DM: You were supposed to fight the giants, not gamble with them
PC with a thousand more gold pieces: "Hmm?"
I exist. Or do I? Am I the caster or the illusion, is the illusion everything I perceive or one particular thing? Are illusions just illusions that make us think what is real is an illusion? is reality an illusion? is that question an illusion?
i don't think the DM understands how players function.
Born under the watch of something from the furthest corners of the far realms.... It knows all.... it sees all... and it asks: "What is it that you want to see?"... and my answer is... ALL"
It was his first time, I usually DM
I exist. Or do I? Am I the caster or the illusion, is the illusion everything I perceive or one particular thing? Are illusions just illusions that make us think what is real is an illusion? is reality an illusion? is that question an illusion?
one player : i care about these spirits
another player ooc: do you care about mine
first player ooc: no
I am leader of the yep cult:https://www.dndbeyond.com/forums/off-topic/adohands-kitchen/82135-yep-cult Pronouns are she/her
“How many feet does he have?”
“Make a perception check.”
Nikolai Buckman | vampire | bard
Solace Redgrove | tiefling | bard
Darn. Straight iced the fricker.
just had some orcs engage in and flee after 1 round of combat. After it was over (they thought) these comments came up when they found out that that behaviour wasn't natural:
Rogue Shadow, the DM (and occasional) PC with schemes of inventive thinking
From a recent stream:
A player rolled an Insight check regarding magic.
DM: "You know that Sorcerers, although they are much rarer than Wizards, are sometimes just born inherently with magic. They're people with talent rather than skill."
DM (continuing): "Wizards are people with skill - people who've studied this."
DM (continuing): "...and then there are other people who have just slept with the teacher, and those people are called Warlocks and they have been imbued magic by a pact of some kind with an already powerful being."
🤣
(All my past Warlocks feel dirty now.)
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
this reminds me of a comment on the warlock 101 thread
I am leader of the yep cult:https://www.dndbeyond.com/forums/off-topic/adohands-kitchen/82135-yep-cult Pronouns are she/her