This replaces sneezing with imploding 

i have every power on this thread and none of said power’s flaws

This thread has no powers, so you have no powers.

I have the ability to identify anything instantly.

But the object you identify is erased from existence 

I can tell people apart by smell

You can now do this but you cannot tell people apart with your other senses very well. 

I want to be able to harness ki from my body. (dragon ball style)

but you’re “Ki shy” and can only do it when you’re all alone. 

I can communicate telepathically with bees...

But you can only curse at them making them mad

i have a power to give myself powers 

...but you left it in your other pants.

I have the power to to make the grossest foods taste like bacon or chocolate, chosen each time I use it...

But only 6 month old versions of those foods, and it's applied to every food that you ever touch.

I have the power to be powerful?

you are now powerful, compared to an ant. Nothing changes

my mere presence causes misery for anyone who displeases me 

Nothing changes, just your attitude

I can be batman at will

Yes, in minecraft!

I can be my D&D character irl

Only on the planet of irl

I can be a cheeto boat

But it ain’t easy, bein’ cheesy.

I can wriggle my nose and inception Jeremy Crawford to green light Dark Sun and a full Psionicist class.

You lost your nose

i have no flaws

Is what you believe, making it your greatest flaw.

I can light any tree on fire at will with mind power

...but Smokey the Bear heard about it and smothered you in your sleep. 

I can grow a new nose

Once you find your old one.

I can kill Smokey the Bear by convincing him to get into cigarettes. 

He dies from smoking and his fan base kills you

i can’t die

twice

I can live forever