Quote from Drummer_the_Dragon_Slayer >>

The word died is past tense,  so in the present i'm still alive

 

You've been shrunk, and are falling from a cloud whilst also drowning in a raindrop  

 I swim to the top of the raindrop and use my lack of substantial gravitational mass to use the drop as a diving pool.

You're a penguin, and its getting cold.

I am a penguin they are used to be cold

a shark is next to you and you are drowning 

I tie a bit of meat to the end of my fishing rod and then jump on the sharks back. Then I use the meat on a stick to steer the shark to the surface

Your being dragged underneath a pirate ship covered in barnacles   

I cut the rope the keelhaul the heck out of there. 

You are a tabaxi on a quest to kill an evil wizard. There's an obvious trap set up for you with obvious bait, but man if that isn't the best ball of yarn you've ever seen...

Burn the y🧶rn

You are a pice of yarn being burned

I'm gonna get it!... No I'm not.... I'm gonna get it!.... No i'm not.... But I so badly want it in my paws! and with that I lunge for it, and grab it. A massive cage falls around me....   but it's actually quite homely.  I slowly, using the trees and leaves around me, make a roof and turn this cage into a house. There I live out my days with my ball of yarn, We get married, have kids, and Eventually one of my children sets of to kill the evil wizard

Your Jhon the tabaxi, and your standing at the front door of the evil wizards tower, when an arrow pierces into your hand. But luckily your hand is made of yarn. then one pierces your foot, which is a Tabaxi foot, and your bleeding fast...    

Edit: That was for VitusW's post

A cleric casts Cure Wounds on me

You are trying to heal Jhon the tabaxi, but it won’t work. He looks at you angrily.

l kill him kor fun

You are jhon the tabaxai and you got beheaded

My head falls of, but then again my neck is a piece of yarn, so I tie it back on again

Jhon the tabaxi Ignores the murderous Cleric and climbs up the tower toward the Evil Wizard. Jhon is face to face with the Wizard, who has lair actions, when the Wizard casts Fabricate and tries to fabricate something out of Jhons Yarn arms and neck...  

EDIT: You are Jhon btw

l cast antimagc feild...

But the tower is held up bt magic and it falts down

Being a Tabaxi, I have really high Dex, and so do a flip and land safely, but the Wizard isn't so lucky...

There's a murderous Cleric hunting you, and it just found you. Your Jhon the Tabaxi  

I use my yarn hand to hang him

you are being hung by jhon the tabaxis yarn hand (you are the cleric)

Quote from Drummer_the_Dragon_Slayer >>

Being a Tabaxi, I have really high Dex, and so do a flip and land safely, but the Wizard isn't so lucky...

 

There's a murderous Cleric hunting you, and it just found you. Your Jhon the Tabaxi  

 
I use divine intervention to change his mind


a god just appeared out of nowhere and threatened you unless you stop chasing jhon

I make the god forgive me by playing "Thor: Love and Thunder" to it.  Then I chase Jhon.

You are taken before Acererak, the Demilich version, and your head is cut off your shoulders and replaced with Acererak's.

I am jhon, the mighty tabaxi, so I use my yarn neck like a tentacle to knock Acrerak’s head off of my shoulders, and then put my head back on and feed Acrerak’s head to a Behir.

you just got a glass jar of the most potent poison in the world thrown at you, and the glass shards cut you and the poison is now coating you.

l am a yuan-ti pureblood with immunity to slashing damage 

a blue dragon breathed lightning on you, and you have 1 hp and vulnerability to lightning damage  

I cast misty step as a reaction and get the hell out of there.

You are being skinned alive.

I am a lizardfolk so I have no skin

you are a pice of paper and you are in a shredder 

I am a snake-person. It is just my normal shedding.

Edit (looks like we both had similar ideas): I may be paper, but I'm bound with a stack of other papers. Through brave sacrifice we jam the shredder and live to see another day.

You are barreling down the freeway without any traffic while blasting "Danger Zone" and suddenly you realize: you're on the wrong side of the road.

I cast teleport and go back home

you are hit by a car