It’s hard to be sure unless Elliot is willing to be more specific, but:
This doesn’t sound like bullying, and it also doesn’t sound like the kind of thing we usually think about when someone mentions non-consensual touching. It just sounds like someone has different expectations around personal space, and they enjoy being closer to others for a variety of reasons. I’ve met many people like that, and there’s nothing wrong with it.
If you’re unwilling to accept that — which is entirely within your rights — then there’s no need to continue talking to them and maintaining your friendship. As I’m sure you know, there’s nothing wrong with needing space and not everyone is going to have the same norms with this sort of thing.
What you absolutely shouldn’t do is get faculty or other adults involved. Not only are you going to lose all respect in the friendgroup, but it’s much harder to control the situation if it escalates to that level. (For example, you could get them in serious, irreversible trouble with the school.)
You have three viable options here.
You can talk to them, honestly, about how it’s making you feel. This is oftentimes a good option, but people won’t always be receptive to it. It’s sort of a case-by-case option.
You can decide screw it, I won’t let this bother me. Don’t feel forced to do so; it’s your choice and your friends need to respect whatever you decide.
You could simply stay away from them and stop talking to them. Just because your relationship-savvy friend wants you to hang out with them doesn’t mean you actually should. Stay true to yourself and your emotions.
My wings were clipped, my heart in a chain, I suffered then, I walked through pain, but even now I know my strength, and I know I'll go any length to save the ones I love.
My least favorite person is me, but my favorite people are y'all. Keeper of Lore, Scribe, Writer. Ask me about my writing!
Does the touching-person have autism or anything that would be a medical reason people might excuse things?
Just trying to think of why others might be seeing things differently.
And might it be worth talking about it your brother or parents? Since they'd have more on-the-ground information that might help better in figuring out how to navigate this stuff.
no, they don't have autism or anything like that. last time i asked them to stop touching me they just said it was impossible for them to remember. so then i told them that if they weren't able to remember then i wouldn't be friends with them and they just got mad and made a lotta ppl dislike me
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(he/him)
I confess it's a shame, When you livin' in a city that's the size of a box and nobody knows yo' name
My wings were clipped, my heart in a chain, I suffered then, I walked through pain, but even now I know my strength, and I know I'll go any length to save the ones I love.
My least favorite person is me, but my favorite people are y'all. Keeper of Lore, Scribe, Writer. Ask me about my writing!
It’s hard to be sure unless Elliot is willing to be more specific, but:
This doesn’t sound like bullying, and it also doesn’t sound like the kind of thing we usually think about when someone mentions non-consensual touching. It just sounds like someone has different expectations around personal space, and they enjoy being closer to others for a variety of reasons. I’ve met many people like that, and there’s nothing wrong with it.
If you’re unwilling to accept that — which is entirely within your rights — then there’s no need to continue talking to them and maintaining your friendship. As I’m sure you know, there’s nothing wrong with needing space and not everyone is going to have the same norms with this sort of thing.
What you absolutely shouldn’t do is get faculty or other adults involved. Not only are you going to lose all respect in the friendgroup, but it’s much harder to control the situation if it escalates to that level. (For example, you could get them in serious, irreversible trouble with the school.)
You have three viable options here.
You can talk to them, honestly, about how it’s making you feel. This is oftentimes a good option, but people won’t always be receptive to it. It’s sort of a case-by-case option.
You can decide screw it, I won’t let this bother me. Don’t feel forced to do so; it’s your choice and your friends need to respect whatever you decide.
You could simply stay away from them and stop talking to them. Just because your relationship-savvy friend wants you to hang out with them doesn’t mean you actually should. Stay true to yourself and your emotions.
yes, ive talked to this person twice abt it already and each time they've gotten super mad bc apparently it's crazy to be in highschool and not enjoy people grabbing you all the time without being able to consent. not only do they make me uncomfortable but they are horrible at dealing with conflict; say that they're doing something that's not ok and they get mad at you and won't let it go. they're really toxic and that's honestly the main reason i don't wanna be friends with them.
i talked to the other friend and told them that i didn't wanna make amends with the person who made me uncomfortable. idk, im considering changing schools bc a bunch of other stuff too. idk. it's complicated.
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(he/him)
I confess it's a shame, When you livin' in a city that's the size of a box and nobody knows yo' name
Does the touching-person have autism or anything that would be a medical reason people might excuse things?
Just trying to think of why others might be seeing things differently.
And might it be worth talking about it your brother or parents? Since they'd have more on-the-ground information that might help better in figuring out how to navigate this stuff.
no, they don't have autism or anything like that. last time i asked them to stop touching me they just said it was impossible for them to remember. so then i told them that if they weren't able to remember then i wouldn't be friends with them and they just got mad and made a lotta ppl dislike me
That's just asinine. You told them to stop. They should [gp]-ing stop.
Haiiiiii, I’m Druid! (he/they/it/moth/fae/star) I'm a smol insane queer lil' mess with a terrible mental state! I'm also a therian and furry :3 My current obsessions are The Amazing Digital Circus and Hazbin Hotel, so if you ever wanna chat about that, I'm always happy to! GIVE ME YOUR MONSTER.
"Oh no! Looks like I've taken Ragatha... AND DROPPED HER IN THE DEEP FRYER!" -Jax
Does the touching-person have autism or anything that would be a medical reason people might excuse things?
Just trying to think of why others might be seeing things differently.
And might it be worth talking about it your brother or parents? Since they'd have more on-the-ground information that might help better in figuring out how to navigate this stuff.
no, they don't have autism or anything like that. last time i asked them to stop touching me they just said it was impossible for them to remember. so then i told them that if they weren't able to remember then i wouldn't be friends with them and they just got mad and made a lotta ppl dislike me
That's just asinine. You told them to stop. They should [gp]-ing stop.
yea. ive decided that im not gonna let myself be pressured into becoming friends with them again
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(he/him)
I confess it's a shame, When you livin' in a city that's the size of a box and nobody knows yo' name
In this case, the only solution is to remove yourself from the situation.
Don’t get angry or lash out — it’s high school, and they don’t know any better. Sometimes people are clingy or rough like this because of issues at home; I’m not saying this is always the case but it’s important to remember that we don’t know the full story and likely never will.
Approach the situation with restraint and understanding, not violence or spite.
In this case, the only solution is to remove yourself from the situation.
Don’t get angry or lash out — it’s high school, and they don’t know any better. Sometimes people are clingy or rough like this because of issues at home; I’m not saying this is always the case but it’s important to remember that we don’t know the full story and likely never will.
Approach the situation with restraint and understanding, not violence or spite.
yes, and that's exactly what im trying to do. we only have like four weeks left in school anyways so soon it'll be over
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(he/him)
I confess it's a shame, When you livin' in a city that's the size of a box and nobody knows yo' name
I've been watching how your eyes move to the ground And I hear you change your story every time that I'm around You can tell me what you want, say what you will But I'm done with you, I'm done with what you say you think is real
I've been watching how your eyes move to the ground And I hear you change your story every time that I'm around You can tell me what you want, say what you will But I'm done with you, I'm done with what you say you think is real
I've been watching how your eyes move to the ground And I hear you change your story every time that I'm around You can tell me what you want, say what you will But I'm done with you, I'm done with what you say you think is real
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It’s hard to be sure unless Elliot is willing to be more specific, but:
This doesn’t sound like bullying, and it also doesn’t sound like the kind of thing we usually think about when someone mentions non-consensual touching. It just sounds like someone has different expectations around personal space, and they enjoy being closer to others for a variety of reasons. I’ve met many people like that, and there’s nothing wrong with it.
If you’re unwilling to accept that — which is entirely within your rights — then there’s no need to continue talking to them and maintaining your friendship. As I’m sure you know, there’s nothing wrong with needing space and not everyone is going to have the same norms with this sort of thing.
What you absolutely shouldn’t do is get faculty or other adults involved. Not only are you going to lose all respect in the friendgroup, but it’s much harder to control the situation if it escalates to that level. (For example, you could get them in serious, irreversible trouble with the school.)
You have three viable options here.
Terra Lubridia archive:
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Hi
My wings were clipped, my heart in a chain, I suffered then, I walked through pain, but even now I know my strength, and I know I'll go any length to save the ones I love.
My least favorite person is me, but my favorite people are y'all. Keeper of Lore, Scribe, Writer. Ask me about my writing!
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no, they don't have autism or anything like that. last time i asked them to stop touching me they just said it was impossible for them to remember. so then i told them that if they weren't able to remember then i wouldn't be friends with them and they just got mad and made a lotta ppl dislike me
(he/him)
I confess it's a shame, When you livin' in a city that's the size of a box and nobody knows yo' name
-"I Wish" Skee-Lo (literally the best song ever)
Nickname: Elliot the Old (IM NOT THAT OLD VITUS-)
Well THATS unfair
My wings were clipped, my heart in a chain, I suffered then, I walked through pain, but even now I know my strength, and I know I'll go any length to save the ones I love.
My least favorite person is me, but my favorite people are y'all. Keeper of Lore, Scribe, Writer. Ask me about my writing!
Extended Signature!
yes, ive talked to this person twice abt it already and each time they've gotten super mad bc apparently it's crazy to be in highschool and not enjoy people grabbing you all the time without being able to consent. not only do they make me uncomfortable but they are horrible at dealing with conflict; say that they're doing something that's not ok and they get mad at you and won't let it go. they're really toxic and that's honestly the main reason i don't wanna be friends with them.
i talked to the other friend and told them that i didn't wanna make amends with the person who made me uncomfortable. idk, im considering changing schools bc a bunch of other stuff too. idk. it's complicated.
(he/him)
I confess it's a shame, When you livin' in a city that's the size of a box and nobody knows yo' name
-"I Wish" Skee-Lo (literally the best song ever)
Nickname: Elliot the Old (IM NOT THAT OLD VITUS-)
I'm just saying, turning their face into a puzzle would stop them from touching you.
What's life without a little war to spice things up? Anyone who worries about the little things should notice the bigger picture.
I am (As drummerboy stated) The master of many faces, The unseen puppeteer, The illumination, & The unnoticed influence.
Favorite games series: Dark Souls. Shirtless Solaire. Best best game series of all time: Paper Mario. Fight me about it.
Etiam im librum scribo
That's just asinine. You told them to stop. They should [gp]-ing stop.
Haiiiiii, I’m Druid! (he/they/it/moth/fae/star) I'm a smol insane queer lil' mess with a terrible mental state! I'm also a therian and furry :3 My current obsessions are The Amazing Digital Circus and Hazbin Hotel, so if you ever wanna chat about that, I'm always happy to! GIVE ME YOUR MONSTER.
"Oh no! Looks like I've taken Ragatha... AND DROPPED HER IN THE DEEP FRYER!" -Jax
that's very true
(he/him)
I confess it's a shame, When you livin' in a city that's the size of a box and nobody knows yo' name
-"I Wish" Skee-Lo (literally the best song ever)
Nickname: Elliot the Old (IM NOT THAT OLD VITUS-)
yea. ive decided that im not gonna let myself be pressured into becoming friends with them again
(he/him)
I confess it's a shame, When you livin' in a city that's the size of a box and nobody knows yo' name
-"I Wish" Skee-Lo (literally the best song ever)
Nickname: Elliot the Old (IM NOT THAT OLD VITUS-)
Of course violence is bad and not allowed on school grounds.
What's life without a little war to spice things up? Anyone who worries about the little things should notice the bigger picture.
I am (As drummerboy stated) The master of many faces, The unseen puppeteer, The illumination, & The unnoticed influence.
Favorite games series: Dark Souls. Shirtless Solaire. Best best game series of all time: Paper Mario. Fight me about it.
Etiam im librum scribo
In this case, the only solution is to remove yourself from the situation.
Don’t get angry or lash out — it’s high school, and they don’t know any better. Sometimes people are clingy or rough like this because of issues at home; I’m not saying this is always the case but it’s important to remember that we don’t know the full story and likely never will.
Approach the situation with restraint and understanding, not violence or spite.
Terra Lubridia archive:
The Bloody Barnacle | The Gut | The Athene Crusader | The Jewel of Atlantis
yes, and that's exactly what im trying to do. we only have like four weeks left in school anyways so soon it'll be over
(he/him)
I confess it's a shame, When you livin' in a city that's the size of a box and nobody knows yo' name
-"I Wish" Skee-Lo (literally the best song ever)
Nickname: Elliot the Old (IM NOT THAT OLD VITUS-)
does anyone wanna rp on the dao? i just introed a new character
(he/him)
I confess it's a shame, When you livin' in a city that's the size of a box and nobody knows yo' name
-"I Wish" Skee-Lo (literally the best song ever)
Nickname: Elliot the Old (IM NOT THAT OLD VITUS-)
hello
they/her Always open to chat. Just send me a PM
I've been watching how your eyes move to the ground
And I hear you change your story every time that I'm around
You can tell me what you want, say what you will
But I'm done with you, I'm done with what you say you think is real
hi
(he/him)
I confess it's a shame, When you livin' in a city that's the size of a box and nobody knows yo' name
-"I Wish" Skee-Lo (literally the best song ever)
Nickname: Elliot the Old (IM NOT THAT OLD VITUS-)
how are you
they/her Always open to chat. Just send me a PM
I've been watching how your eyes move to the ground
And I hear you change your story every time that I'm around
You can tell me what you want, say what you will
But I'm done with you, I'm done with what you say you think is real
stressed. hbu?
(he/him)
I confess it's a shame, When you livin' in a city that's the size of a box and nobody knows yo' name
-"I Wish" Skee-Lo (literally the best song ever)
Nickname: Elliot the Old (IM NOT THAT OLD VITUS-)
same
they/her Always open to chat. Just send me a PM
I've been watching how your eyes move to the ground
And I hear you change your story every time that I'm around
You can tell me what you want, say what you will
But I'm done with you, I'm done with what you say you think is real