I am going to kill the dragon and get so much XP... wait, what..? WHAT??? WHADDAYA MEAN THE DRAGON FLEW OFF?! I WAS THIS CLOSE TO DEFEATING IT!!!! *other players agree* DM: Certain monsters aren't meant to be defeated - like the dragon. *whining* But we were this close...
The dragon wasn't actually going to be defeated soon; it rolled a crit on Deception to pretend to be almost dead.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both" -- allegedly Benjamin Franklin
"I have no qualms about your adventure, Hero. I'm simply here to tell you something: people will die. And there is nothing you can possibly do to prevent this." -Jenson, ancient Water Genasi Monk
Ancient Black Dragon. Not only is it almost impossible to hit , but since it has an acid breath weapon it doesn't have to eat anyone one hit and it just licks them up. Players hate that
More players, more players! I love more players!!! Hold up. You want to be a what? A wizard?? Come on, I don't want to revisit the spellbook fiasco!!!
*later* Good... got your spellbook done. WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?! YOU WANT TO BE A ROGUE?!?! I DID THIS SPELLBOOK FOR YOU!!!! AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!!!
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
"I have no qualms about your adventure, Hero. I'm simply here to tell you something: people will die. And there is nothing you can possibly do to prevent this." -Jenson, ancient Water Genasi Monk
Player (me) rolls a one and actually ends up with zero while checking a building. DM: It's a house. You've seen houses before. Maybe it's not a house. Maybe it's a cow in disguise. Or a UFO.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
"I have no qualms about your adventure, Hero. I'm simply here to tell you something: people will die. And there is nothing you can possibly do to prevent this." -Jenson, ancient Water Genasi Monk
A player (we'll call him Sir) slips into some water. DM "You slip on a rock and fall into the water. Those fish look hungry." The player (call her Lady) that is trying to rescue Sir slips into the water. DM "You slip on the same rock and fall into the water." The player (Miss) that is trying to rescue Lady also slips into the water. DM "That rock is being quite ridiculous."
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
"I have no qualms about your adventure, Hero. I'm simply here to tell you something: people will die. And there is nothing you can possibly do to prevent this." -Jenson, ancient Water Genasi Monk
29. *playing evil teifling guy* Going to kill the merchant. Wait why do you have such a power-filled voice? *merchant girl charms me* Yo. How are you?? You going anywhere on Thursday? I'm not. You wanna hang??
Ok you finished searching the house. I'm going to search it again, ok but you looked under everything how else are you going to search. Destroy everything, can't ever be too thorough. Define everything. I'm going to break every chair leg every door will be smashed door frames stripped etc.
You found a few platinum pieces hidden away for a rainy day. THATS IT? COME ON MAN! You already thoroughly searched the place. Queue grumbling.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
"Where words fail, swords prevail. Where blood is spilled, my cup is filled" -Cartaphilus
"I have found the answer to the meaning of life. You ask me what the answer is? You already know what the answer to life is. You fear it more than the strike of a viper, the ravages of disease, the ire of a lover. The answer is always death. But death is a gentle mistress with a sweet embrace, and you owe her a debt of restitution. Life is not a gift, it is a loan."
34. First Time DM: You are in a traveling caravan, about 3 days away from the major city. There are about 30 people with the caravan, including merchants, messengers, priests, and other adventurers. One of these men is riding a horse in full Plate Armor, and almost has a glow about him. He is very confident and has quite a charismatic feel about him.
DM goes on to describe at least 3 other NPC's trying to create some leads/interactions to be had....
Player:I walk up to the horse, cast Speak with Animals, and ask what his name is (the horses, not the rider).
DM (frantically): "Umm, Brago, the horses name is Brago"
Player: "Hi Brago, I'm Trist, What's your favorite color?"
DM: What?
Player: What's his favorite color?
DM: Umm Green
Player: "Oh I thought horses were colorblind. Anyway, what's your favorite food?"
"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both" -- allegedly Benjamin Franklin
Tooltips (Help/aid)
Totally. (Still, I was close!)
"I have no qualms about your adventure, Hero. I'm simply here to tell you something: people will die. And there is nothing you can possibly do to prevent this."
-Jenson, ancient Water Genasi Monk
22 ) You know what has an AC of 22?
Ancient Black Dragon. Not only is it almost impossible to hit , but since it has an acid breath weapon it doesn't have to eat anyone one hit and it just licks them up. Players hate that
23, i have a passive AC of 25 and a cloak of displacement.
DM rolls 2 20's with his disadvantage.
Grianne Wildpaw: Wood Elf Druid level 12 (8W-4L)- - Coliseum of Conquest: Master of Faerie Fire. Just don't ask her to spell it.
Grianne Wildpaw: Wood Elf Druid level 6 (2W-1L)- - Coliseum Reborn : Master of a Myriad of forms.
Runt, the Stormchosen: Half-Orc barbarian level 5 -- The Guild
Tomoe Gozen: Human Fighter Samurai level 5 -- Cronero (Solo Campaign)
24. Rust Monsters.
Roleplaying since Runequest.
"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both" -- allegedly Benjamin Franklin
Tooltips (Help/aid)
25.
More players, more players! I love more players!!!
Hold up. You want to be a what? A wizard?? Come on, I don't want to revisit the spellbook fiasco!!!
*later* Good... got your spellbook done.
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?! YOU WANT TO BE A ROGUE?!?! I DID THIS SPELLBOOK FOR YOU!!!! AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!!!
"I have no qualms about your adventure, Hero. I'm simply here to tell you something: people will die. And there is nothing you can possibly do to prevent this."
-Jenson, ancient Water Genasi Monk
26. *DM spends 3 days making maps*
players spend 2 sessions haggling with weapon vendors
Current campaigns - DM - Tomb of Annihilation home game
theory crafter and character builder.
Past campaigns -DM- modern post-apocalypse custom home game.
- Human Paladin, Brazelton - multiple games
- lv 12 Human Ranger, Mattias Shaw - 3.5e Homebrew
27.
Player (me) rolls a one and actually ends up with zero while checking a building.
DM: It's a house. You've seen houses before. Maybe it's not a house. Maybe it's a cow in disguise. Or a UFO.
"I have no qualms about your adventure, Hero. I'm simply here to tell you something: people will die. And there is nothing you can possibly do to prevent this."
-Jenson, ancient Water Genasi Monk
28.
A player (we'll call him Sir) slips into some water. DM "You slip on a rock and fall into the water. Those fish look hungry."
The player (call her Lady) that is trying to rescue Sir slips into the water. DM "You slip on the same rock and fall into the water."
The player (Miss) that is trying to rescue Lady also slips into the water. DM "That rock is being quite ridiculous."
"I have no qualms about your adventure, Hero. I'm simply here to tell you something: people will die. And there is nothing you can possibly do to prevent this."
-Jenson, ancient Water Genasi Monk
29. *playing evil teifling guy* Going to kill the merchant. Wait why do you have such a power-filled voice? *merchant girl charms me* Yo. How are you?? You going anywhere on Thursday? I'm not. You wanna hang??
*THIS CONTINUED FOR AN ACTUAL HOUR*
30. Lone ragged beggars a hundred miles from civilisation...
Roleplaying since Runequest.
DM: you all have a lot of magic items. i think your fairly OP.
near TPK on next encounter
DM: See, told you guys you were OP.
Grianne Wildpaw: Wood Elf Druid level 12 (8W-4L)- - Coliseum of Conquest: Master of Faerie Fire. Just don't ask her to spell it.
Grianne Wildpaw: Wood Elf Druid level 6 (2W-1L)- - Coliseum Reborn : Master of a Myriad of forms.
Runt, the Stormchosen: Half-Orc barbarian level 5 -- The Guild
Tomoe Gozen: Human Fighter Samurai level 5 -- Cronero (Solo Campaign)
32.
Ok you finished searching the house. I'm going to search it again, ok but you looked under everything how else are you going to search. Destroy everything, can't ever be too thorough. Define everything. I'm going to break every chair leg every door will be smashed door frames stripped etc.
You found a few platinum pieces hidden away for a rainy day. THATS IT? COME ON MAN! You already thoroughly searched the place. Queue grumbling.
"Where words fail, swords prevail. Where blood is spilled, my cup is filled" -Cartaphilus
"I have found the answer to the meaning of life. You ask me what the answer is? You already know what the answer to life is. You fear it more than the strike of a viper, the ravages of disease, the ire of a lover. The answer is always death. But death is a gentle mistress with a sweet embrace, and you owe her a debt of restitution. Life is not a gift, it is a loan."
33. The House Mimic. They never see it coming
34. First Time DM: You are in a traveling caravan, about 3 days away from the major city. There are about 30 people with the caravan, including merchants, messengers, priests, and other adventurers. One of these men is riding a horse in full Plate Armor, and almost has a glow about him. He is very confident and has quite a charismatic feel about him.
DM goes on to describe at least 3 other NPC's trying to create some leads/interactions to be had....
Player: I walk up to the horse, cast Speak with Animals, and ask what his name is (the horses, not the rider).
DM (frantically): "Umm, Brago, the horses name is Brago"
Player: "Hi Brago, I'm Trist, What's your favorite color?"
DM: What?
Player: What's his favorite color?
DM: Umm Green
Player: "Oh I thought horses were colorblind. Anyway, what's your favorite food?"
DM: Seriously?
Player: Yes, I'm trying to establish a rapport.
DM: It's a horse.
Player: "So what's your favorite food"
DM: I'm never DMing again.
How do you get a one-armed goblin out of a tree?
Wave!
35.Player: (being blinded and prone)
DM: A random looter happens upon a pressumed corpse and loots your body
36. *Dice falls off the table and lands on a 1*
Player: "Opps, jack dice"
*Dice falls off the table 2 rounds later and lands on a 20"
Player: "YES, I Crit!"
37. Other players that whine and throw fits when they take damage or fail a skill check. I've had to deal with too many of those.
Zevrana - Moon Elf/Rogue - Arcane Trickster/L5