(after our party infiltrated an enemy outpost and killing several guards stealthily...each one with a different accent...French, British, Japanese, Russian...)
Player: "Does every guard in this outpost have a different accent?!"
DM: "This evil empire is apparently very diverse and inclusive."
(...later...)
DM: "Are you guys just trying to kill all the guards in this encampment?"
I'm getting married on Thursday and all my players are going to be there. So our party is the Rein family of older brother Alaric the Artificer Armor, and fraternal twin sisters Allie the Divine Soul Sorcerer and Atala the Gunslinger and their three Dwarven bannermen Hyu Mon the Drunken Master, Bonthor the Sword Bard and Ilde the Arcane Archer. Lulu and Mooncolor are traveling with them.
Atala immediately fell for Reya, so much so that when when Allie tried to cast Guiding Bolt at Thavius Kreeg, Atala pulled a gun on her sister. They chose the Path of Devils, which I immediately regretted because the players of Atala and Ilde are such sweet, omg cuteness overload type people that I knew they were going to hate me when it got to The Choice. Ilde's player is also my best (wo)man.
They finally made it to Arkhan and I was playing him up in full on evil mode. So far as walking over to Atala and sniffing. "You have the stench of a paladin on you."
Allie: "She's got more than the stench."
Arkhan: "So, what do you have that Krull thinks is so important to disturb me?"
Allie: "We come with this Orb of Dragonkind in exchange for the reliquary of your Goddesses blood you wear."
Arkhan: "A fair request. I can be amenable to that. The hollyphant or the unicorn."
As the party looks around in shock realizing what he means, Arkhan produces a dagger and drops it at Allie's feet. "Or you, Goldilocks."
Atala immediately grabs up Lulu, protecting her.
Bonthor: (Who's alignment has been changed to Lawful Evil by failing a save) "I'll do it!"
Arkhan: "No, I want the girl to do it. In the name of Tiamat, slay the unicorn or yourself."
“SHUT UP! Battle is for napping and contemplation!”
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving is not for you.
DM for: Wrath of Ashardalon, Aeterna, Fallen Angel’s Requiem
Characters: Eden Tealeaf, Human Fey Wanderer (retired), Charles Tristan Aurelius Esq., Half-Elf Profane Soul Blood Hunter (playing in Red Grave by Pag12)
Currently working on Kairon’s Cabinet of Curiosities, a homebrew compendium to simplify and spice up your game.
Artificer: "I just going to tinker with my tiny object." Rogue: "Not right here in the cave. Also, mate. Don't call it your tiny object."
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Same session as the last post, I had just gotten a new spear from 1v1ing a gnoll leader, and got to try it out. Successfully using it to hit two leucrottas on the same turn.
(after our party infiltrated an enemy outpost and killing several guards stealthily...each one with a different accent...French, British, Japanese, Russian...)
Player: "Does every guard in this outpost have a different accent?!"
DM: "This evil empire is apparently very diverse and inclusive."
(...later...)
DM: "Are you guys just trying to kill all the guards in this encampment?"
Player: "You're running out of accents!"
Some spoilers for Avernus apply just be warned.
I'm getting married on Thursday and all my players are going to be there. So our party is the Rein family of older brother Alaric the Artificer Armor, and fraternal twin sisters Allie the Divine Soul Sorcerer and Atala the Gunslinger and their three Dwarven bannermen Hyu Mon the Drunken Master, Bonthor the Sword Bard and Ilde the Arcane Archer. Lulu and Mooncolor are traveling with them.
Atala immediately fell for Reya, so much so that when when Allie tried to cast Guiding Bolt at Thavius Kreeg, Atala pulled a gun on her sister. They chose the Path of Devils, which I immediately regretted because the players of Atala and Ilde are such sweet, omg cuteness overload type people that I knew they were going to hate me when it got to The Choice. Ilde's player is also my best (wo)man.
They finally made it to Arkhan and I was playing him up in full on evil mode. So far as walking over to Atala and sniffing. "You have the stench of a paladin on you."
Allie: "She's got more than the stench."
Arkhan: "So, what do you have that Krull thinks is so important to disturb me?"
Allie: "We come with this Orb of Dragonkind in exchange for the reliquary of your Goddesses blood you wear."
Arkhan: "A fair request. I can be amenable to that. The hollyphant or the unicorn."
As the party looks around in shock realizing what he means, Arkhan produces a dagger and drops it at Allie's feet. "Or you, Goldilocks."
Atala immediately grabs up Lulu, protecting her.
Bonthor: (Who's alignment has been changed to Lawful Evil by failing a save) "I'll do it!"
Arkhan: "No, I want the girl to do it. In the name of Tiamat, slay the unicorn or yourself."
Ilde OOC: " F*** you, man! The wedding is off!"
Everyone else: "Yeah!"
“SHUT UP! Battle is for napping and contemplation!”
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving is not for you.
DM for: Wrath of Ashardalon, Aeterna, Fallen Angel’s Requiem
Characters: Eden Tealeaf, Human Fey Wanderer (retired), Charles Tristan Aurelius Esq., Half-Elf Profane Soul Blood Hunter (playing in Red Grave by Pag12)
Currently working on Kairon’s Cabinet of Curiosities, a homebrew compendium to simplify and spice up your game.
BEDROLLS ARE FOR THE WEAK!!!
Only if it is very dehydrated, and has been eating rocks and bread
"Ruin Monkey's life using the Catapult spell"
"I'm going to use Disguise Self to turn into Matt Mercer and sell illicit substances"
Recent stream:
Artificer: "I just going to tinker with my tiny object."
Rogue: "Not right here in the cave. Also, mate. Don't call it your tiny object."
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
DM: your ally npc is now covered in blood, shes not happy about it. and lets out a scream trying to stab a mother****er
Me, who had literally gone into a blind rage last session: huh. I am having the strangest sense of dejavu right now.
Same session as the last post, I had just gotten a new spear from 1v1ing a gnoll leader, and got to try it out. Successfully using it to hit two leucrottas on the same turn.
Me: I HAVE NO IDEA HOW I DID THAT!
[Don't know if it's funny or not]
Tiran_Sun: Can I make a DEX save or is the hit pretty much guaranteed?
Me: Depends on your AC. (don't remember what else I said)
Brienne: Leomyar makes a DEX save
[result] 4
Bri: ([obscenity removed])
Me(OOC): 1. I don't think you needed to make the save, and 2. even if you did, that is almost an epic fail (e.g. comedy material)
Don't worry, I'll let you guys know if a save is needed at that particular moment, right now, none of any sort are needed
Rogue Shadow, the DM (and occasional) PC with schemes of inventive thinking
This was from another campaign, during Session 0:
Me: I don't "gnome" how the adventure will turn out, but I "gnome" this will be interesting
Rogue Shadow, the DM (and occasional) PC with schemes of inventive thinking
It's definitely a good thing to gnome that all of our characters are gnomes.
Playing:
Venovar Graphanis(Half-Elf | Paladin 2): A Most Potent Brew
Lumimar(Aarakocra | Open Hand Monk 3): Coliseum of Conquest W=0/L=1
Yaren Goldsnow(Variant Human | Spirits Bard 4/Undead Warlock 1): Lost Lab of Kwalish
Venturing into the great ungnome is a dangerous game.
Rogue Shadow, the DM (and occasional) PC with schemes of inventive thinking
Oh yeah, read that, that was a good session
: Systems Online : Nikoli_Goodfellow Homebrew : My WIP Homebrew Class :
(\_/)
( u u)
o/ \🥛🍪 Hey, take care of yourself alright?
How am I posting in your post Help!
: Systems Online : Nikoli_Goodfellow Homebrew : My WIP Homebrew Class :
(\_/)
( u u)
o/ \🥛🍪 Hey, take care of yourself alright?
reload and idk
I am leader of the yep cult:https://www.dndbeyond.com/forums/off-topic/adohands-kitchen/82135-yep-cult Pronouns are she/her
Oh it's working now... That was awkward...
Anyway something funny... For me at least...
One of my plans finally worked and it involved joining the bad guys because the good guys tried to kill us... I don't remember everything...
: Systems Online : Nikoli_Goodfellow Homebrew : My WIP Homebrew Class :
(\_/)
( u u)
o/ \🥛🍪 Hey, take care of yourself alright?
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InsiderLife lessons were learned on Silver and Steel this week.
“Friends and snacks are important.” - Orkira
and
“See, that was my real power, FRIENDSHIP!” - Penelope
Find me on Twitter: @OboeLauren
Me as I realize that I the healer ran out of spell slots
Me: I can't heal you
Player 3: Dying on the ground, why not?
Me: I don't have anymore spell slots
Player 3: How! You're the healer!
Me: I forgot to take a long rest...
Player 1: How do you forget to take a long rest? That's super important!
Player 3: * After a successful medicine check * Let's throw the incompetent cleric over the next cliff
Me: I'd be careful how you treat a person that can deal 3d10 damage if I had spell slots
Player 3: Yeah! If you had spell slots.
Edit: Just remembered the rest
Me to player 3: Okay that's it I'm never healing you again
Player 3: That's funny because YOU HAVEN'T HEALED ME YET
: Systems Online : Nikoli_Goodfellow Homebrew : My WIP Homebrew Class :
(\_/)
( u u)
o/ \🥛🍪 Hey, take care of yourself alright?
I have no idea what any of these words means, but I like the pretty pictures
The party is making a plan to attack the bad guys
Monk (me): Hey, if we go with the fake prostitute plan, I did win my monastery's drag show once!
DM: Your monastery DID NOT have a drag show.
Barbarian OOC: no this is canon now
Nikolai Buckman | vampire | bard
Solace Redgrove | tiefling | bard
If Genshin Impact has taught me anything is that Friends and snacks are synonymous terms.