Super Power... With a Flaw

all sounds are the same volume for you, you cannot differ between something loud and something quiet, and sometimes you dont notice / think about important noises arround you

i have the power to grant other people the abillity to fly

But only for about five hours, and after that five-hour time limit is up gravity will apply to them twice as hard for the hour after

I have the power to make other people's superpowers have an unforeseen side effect

but only by commenting on this forum

i have the power to accidentally grant wishes to people

 but you must twist these wishes in some way, and it must be in this forum

I have the power to drain the life from people

Quote from Arcanica >>

 but you must twist these wishes in some way, and it must be in this forum

I have the power to drain the life from people

 wait would that not be very much intentionally granting wishes?

You grant their wish regardless of whether or not you want to as soon as they say “I wish”

Quote from Arcanica >>

 but you must twist these wishes in some way, and it must be in this forum

I have the power to drain the life from people

 But all you can do with it is give it right back.

I have the power to convince anyone I am right.

But only if there’s no contradictory evidence. One little shred of proof is all that is needed to negate your power. 

I can make anyone fall under my command by touching them.

But only by touching their Cerebral Cortex, which might be difficult to get access to.

I can be smarter

But you are not.

I can communicate telepathically with living animals near me.

Except, due to social isolation there is no one near you.

I can poo cotton candy.

But. . . . . WHY?

I can be immune to CV--19 and not spread it at all, so I don't have to social distance

Quote from IamSposta >>

Except, due to social isolation there is no one near you.

I can poo cotton candy.

Quote from LeviRocks >>

But. . . . . WHY?

I can be immune to CV--19 and not spread it at all, so I don't have to social distance

Not to mention, if you have pets or live in a community with pets...

Quote from IorithMagnus >>

Quote from IamSposta >>

Except, due to social isolation there is no one near you.

I can poo cotton candy.

Quote from LeviRocks >>

But. . . . . WHY?

I can be immune to CV--19 and not spread it at all, so I don't have to social distance

Not to mention, if you have pets or live in a community with pets...

 As far as I have been informed by Veterinarians and Infectious Disease Specialists (before the lockdown), only ferrets are known to be susceptible, cats and dogs are resistant. That news is a little over a week old though.

Quote from LeviRocks >>

But. . . . . WHY?

I can be immune to CV--19 and not spread it at all, so I don't have to social distance

 Except you have something else and have to live in a bubble anyway. 

I can still poo candy floss. (You haven’t twisted that power yet.)

It still smells and looks like poop.

I can eat 10 tonnes of food and not kill myself.

But over the course of 20,000 years, so one pound of food a day, which makes you starve.

I can do anything and survive

Quote from LeviRocks >>

But over the course of 20,000 years, so one pound of food a day, which makes you starve.

Sure you’d be hungry, but you wouldn’t starve. 

Every time you survive something, at least one other person dies.

My body produces its own oxygen, so I do not need to breath.

Quote from IorithMagnus >>

Quote from LeviRocks >>

But over the course of 20,000 years, so one pound of food a day, which makes you starve.

Sure you’d be hungry, but you wouldn’t starve. 

---

Every time you survive something, at least one other person dies.

My body produces its own oxygen, so I do not need to breath.

 Starving doesn't necessarily mean dead. 

Granted, you become a blade of grass.

I can raise people from the dead