You can teleport, but only to the bottom of the mariana trench, where you would die from the pressure.

I wish to not be afraid of my friends.

Granted! You are desperately afraid of your friends.

I wish to not to have a handshake 

Your hands fall off of your wrists

i wish for a one millimeter by one millimeter cube of mahogany wood to appear on top of someone’s roof in dubai

Granted. That cube flies in the wind at such speed toward you that you are hit on the head and die.

I wish to have all of Yuno and Julius' powers from Black Clover.

sure but you never said at what point in time so you get there powers when there 1 month old just born. 

I wish to have my character endlessly role 20 on d20 checks when he rolls when playing dnd.

Your DM turns to you after every perception  check and says: 'You see nothing out of the ordinary'

I wish I wish a fish wish wished apon a wish with a star fish wish wished with a wisp of this 

A fish falls from the stars and lands on your head, causing you to spontaneously combust.

I wish that whoever wishes next does not get their wishes twisted.

You get your wish, but only because you knew the next person would try to twist yours, therefore screwing themself over. So I won't twist yours.

I wish for infinite untwist-able wishes. 

Quote from Ash_the_evil >>

You get your wish, but only because you knew the next person would try to twist yours, therefore screwing themself over. So I won't twist yours.

I wish for infinite untwist-able wishes. 

You get your wish. Unfortunately, they are untwist-able by way of all being the same wish: "I wish for infinite untwist-able wishes." 

I wish I knew how many pages this thread will end up. 

You get your wish, But the information is only given when the internet goes offline.

I wish that I had the agility and skills of a great cat

Quote from TrowaTalonNT >>

You get your wish, But the information is only given when the internet goes offline.

I wish that I had the agility and skills of a great cat

 

 You are Cat

I wish for Decidueye to get a Mega Evolution.

He does. It is such a bad Evolution that his previous final evolution is much better. 

I wish to finish all my homework on time. 

Granted! You finish it sitting on top of the concept of time itself. You accidentally kick it in the face while dangling your legs, causing it to speed up time to the point where it's late.

I wish for Hollow Knight: Silksong by the development team Team Cherry (the one that made the original Hollow Knight, not another group) to release by the end of the year as they stated and have even more quality then the originial Hollow Knight, met with positive fan reception from old and new players alike and without any drama from the community or its developers that would cause issues. 

Wish Granted! Instead of getting the game, you get a literal knight that is hollow that sings songs about silk and makes you think it is from the game, therefore making the Hollow Knight community and developers happy.

I wish for a dish of fish.

Wish granted. A satellite dish made of fish falls from the sky and lands on you.

I wish to always have free hospital visits without impacting the economy.

Wish Granted! The hospital stalks you through your window at night.

I wish for a giant pineapple! (It can't fall on me)

Quote from Incompetent_Goat >>

Wish Granted! The hospital stalks you through your window at night.

I wish for a giant pineapple! (It can't fall on me)

You get that pineapple. Unfortunately it is under the sea, inhabited by an idiot invertebrate and trademarked, copyrighted and fully licensed to someone else. 

I wish more people would understand that pineapple on pizza is not just acceptable but actually very tasty.

Everyone realizes pineapple is good on pizza so they put other fruits like mangoes, peaches, apples, and oranges on as well. Congrats, you have now created something much worse than it started out to be.                                      (BTW, pineapple on pizza isn't too bad)

I wish for a cookie!

Granted. Your computer is full of them which leads to viruses.

I wish for a single unit of the worlds first currency on an acceptable size in my pocket.

Wish granted! It is an acceptable size but, for some reason, weighs several tons.

(I might just keep posting every other....Jk)

I wish for a rock exactly 3 inches across and 2 inches up to appear at the bottom of the ocean.