Quote from ArtificeMeal >>

you can now breathe while you are growing, but you loose the fantastic abillity to breathe once you stop growing, in a few minutes

i wish i could teleport to ManOfValor, hug him, apollogize for murdering all his friends and restore all his friendships that where lost

 You fail and make things worse.  I wish Limbo never existed

Granted, all the Slaad and Githzerai live on earth now.

I wish that my new pet puppy didn't shed, as I am allergic.

your puppy has now never made a shed ever in its life. Not that the puppy had hands to build with anyways, and i am pretty shure you are not allergic to wooden structures

i wish i had more candles than i could reasonably ever use

Granted. You have one candle.

I wish my puppy wasn't a shedding dog.

Granted. But then the dog starts being polymorphed into a Bratwurst sausage.

I wish I could eat that sausage....

The sausage was poisoned and you die

I wish the Tarrasque never existed 

Noooooo, wish not granted.

I wish for good to exist in the world

Quote from LeviRocks >>

Noooooo, wish not granted.

I wish for good to exist in the world

 It already does because puppies.

I wish that aliens wipe out all of humanity.

Granted, but this happens in 1295797823689468937895234780000000000 years in the future.

I wish that people don't go insane online. (Why do people do that?)

granted people go insane offline

I wish for a piece of tiger fur

You get a hungry tiger that is shedding.

I wish the world never existed 

Granted, but then this request would never exist, and you create a paradox.

I wish for all cats to die again.

Quote from Bubbub25 >>

Quote from ArtificeMeal >>

you can now breathe while you are growing, but you loose the fantastic abillity to breathe once you stop growing, in a few minutes

i wish i could teleport to ManOfValor, hug him, apollogize for murdering all his friends and restore all his friendships that where lost

 You fail and make things worse.  I wish Limbo never existed

 Awww...thanks, ArtificeMeal.  It's the thought that counts.

Levi, your wish is granted, indigenous wildlife species on the brink of extinction come back to prevalence with such vigor that the world's geological makeup becomes overwhelmed and the planet eventually dies.

I wish the eggnog I found in the back of the refrigerator was still fresh and not a month past its due date...

Granted. You're free to drink it now. Take my word.

I wish for the planet to not be alive, so therefore it cannot die.

Granted *climate change/global warming take place and the planet dies so that it is not alive and cannot die.

I wish that everybody could do exactly what they want to for a living.

Granted, but forced crippling debt will lead them back to an oppressive work environment in short order.

I wish we lived in a perfect utopia free of stress, worries and burdens, and each day was exciting, fresh and new.

Granted, everyone lives that way while they are sleeping, and then they wake up.

I wish people would stop telling me I’m wrong for informing them how to acomplain exactly what they want to do in the DDB homebrew builder.

granted now people will stop saying your wrong on the Doyle Dane Bernbach homebrew builder

I wish to be teleported out of carceri

Granted, you are teleported into the heart of an active volcano on earth.

I wish dndbeyond would surprise us all with the Class Variant Features rollout today.

Your Wish spell fails.

I wish absolutely nothing