Okay, you are always high, and think you are the king of the universe, and order others to do things for you, but they all look at you weirdly and walk away.

I wish for a potion to become a level 20 wizard.

Granted, you get a potion, and you become a level 20 wizard. Unfortunately, in real life, wizards are measured on a scale of 1-666. You are therefore pretty weak, but noticeable enough that a bunch of superstitious peasants capture you.

They throw you into the lake to see if you float like a witch, and unfortunately you had just decided to practice water walk before they nabbed you. You are therefore found guilty and burnt at the stake.

I wish that every night I had the ability to choose to relive the past 24 hours while retaining all memories and knowledge of what happened the first time.

Granted, you now live Groundhogs day, the movie, over and over again.

I wish that all witches died.

granted but when you do it it takes 24 hours and during that time you are chaotic evil and a murderer and when you do it you are arrested

Edit: granted but now twice more were born

I wish pallghost is banned from this thread forever, without his approval or anyone for that matter

Granted, but only after you, and 3 other people post their ideas on this thread. Dal Quor Questions

I wish for an Eberron adventure, levels 1-15

Granted, all you have to do is write one.

I wish you LeviRocks would stop trying to drive traffic to that Dal Quor thing.

Granted, dnd beyond is shutdown 

I wish this thread would go back to the way things were

Unavailable to be granted due to the skill's lack that allows the humankind doing time's regressions.

I wish I has the skill Acid spitting.

Unavaliable.

I will grant IamSposta's wish now. Comment on it if you want, I'll stop talking about it now.

I wish I had the ability to sleep as long as I want with no negative effects.

Granted, you can sleep as long as you want with no further negative effects after death.

I wish this illness I'm experiencing would resolve itself so I can resume my job of taking money in exchange for sitting in misery every day.

granted but you now relive the worst of it whenever you do your job

I wish pallghost is banned from this thread forever, without his approval or anyone for that matter and everyone else posts on this thread

 Granted, he is banned from this Thread.

I wish you will stop requesting that, as I have fulfilled it.

Granted, you revive 10,000 other requests to fulfill, but not that one.

I wish I had beer.

But you say a bear. It kills you.

I wish for the monk class to be better.

It’s over powered and is the only class people play

i wish I could learn math better 

Granted, but you become horrible at everything else

I wish to own a mimic that won’t hurt me

You gain the mimic and it doesn't hurt you, I promise. It hires a Dragoborn Assasin to do it instead.

I wish for free money.

Granted, but you stole it, and told everyone that you have the money, and so the police put you in jail.

I wish for a 30 sided dice that is actually a perfect polyhedron.

Granted, but since such things can’t exist, it appears for 1 second then disappears 

I wish for the answer to the Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything 

granted

 I wish pallghost is banned from twist the wish forever, without his approval or anyone for that matter and everyone else posts on this thread