So, you want my honest advice? Screw the exposition. Literally trash it. Start off with a place the audience will understand from the genre, you know, like a port or something. Let only a little bit of Lubridium flavor shine here. Slowly, slowly pan out to reveal the weirdness and wackiness of your universe.
Infodumping, even if it's "Show, don't tell," is annoying. Maybe it's just a me thing, though. They're not expecting a masterclass in writing either, I'm guessing, and once again I've never written an actual story longer than three or four notebook pages, so take everything I suggest with a huge grain of salt.
If this is unclear, I will reiterate: I may sound confident, but I am not an author. Yet.
Thanks for the advice. I’ll do my best to follow it. My biggest concern so far has definitely been my doing a little too much infodumping, or doing it in an annoying and confusing way (such as nonsensical namedropping in the fourth paragraph). This is what I have so far, if you’re interested. No need to read it, I won’t be offended.
Surriento, Regno di Napoli, Italia; 1696
It pains me to no small degree to admit just how intrigued I am by the wounded pirate lying passed-out in my garden.
Thrice now I’ve walked past him, twice to water my tomatoes and once to scare off the gulls. While my investment in this scoundrel’s safety is hardly exceptional, the birds are scarily large and I have no desire to see such a fresh enigma carried off by buzzards.
His origins are no mystery. The rat’s sleeve is embroidered with a poorly-stitched insignia depicting a skeletal hand holding a torch. I know its meaning just as well as the next diver: faded red flames to represent the fires of rebellion, the hand to represent a certain Captain’s guiding hand through the darkness of war. It’s laughably egotistical, but then again pride is the least of his crimes.
So this pirate is a member of the self-christened Notched Blades, that notorious band of loosely-connected factions prowling the waters to the East. The valiant freedom fighters determined to put a stop to perceived commercial overreach from the United Merchant Conglomerate and their quiet British Imperial sponsors. It’s hardly an insightful conclusion; there aren’t many corsairs still in operation in this part of the world.
None of my newfound insights help in the slightest to explain what this self-interested degenerate is doing in my garden. Does my five-foot wooden fence do nothing to deter heavily wounded intruders? This marauder is very possibly lying on a floral deathbed of peonies and rutabaga, and it seems I have little recourse but to watch and wait for him to die. Shame, but my training is decidedly not medical.
Over the next few days, the half-dead pirate […]
I’m well aware this is unlikely to win any awards. I just want a fun way to get back into writing, with the possibility of recognition as an extra bit of motivation.
Soo....last comment...I mean...I am there for now.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
I have made a huge homebrew setting that I am still working on putting here in DDB. Please give me feedback, I want to know all of what I am doing wrong, and what I am doing right. The thread is a huge work in progress, so everything in it from content to layout is subject to change. Please check this forum:Welcome to Zionderia
Also I have a fun thread that explores an idea about dreams based off the movie Inception. I still need to add the link but stay tuned.
I have made a huge homebrew setting that I am still working on putting here in DDB. Please give me feedback, I want to know all of what I am doing wrong, and what I am doing right. The thread is a huge work in progress, so everything in it from content to layout is subject to change. Please check this forum:Welcome to Zionderia
Also I have a fun thread that explores an idea about dreams based off the movie Inception. I still need to add the link but stay tuned.
By the way, I stumbled across you while looking at a thread on EnWorld. How would you say it compares to here?
First off, DDB seems to skew younger while EnWorld is full of those that are 50 and older (it’s something many of the common posters talk about themselves on occasion). Enworld is also a place for all forms of TTRPG, not just 5e D&D (though that is still a very active and popular section of the forum). They also don’t have something quite like the off-topic forum.
I'm good, but unless you where here at like the 2024 summer you prob don't know me
I feel like I remeber your pf name, but I do not believe I ever really MET you. How do you do?
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
I have made a huge homebrew setting that I am still working on putting here in DDB. Please give me feedback, I want to know all of what I am doing wrong, and what I am doing right. The thread is a huge work in progress, so everything in it from content to layout is subject to change. Please check this forum:Welcome to Zionderia
Also I have a fun thread that explores an idea about dreams based off the movie Inception. I still need to add the link but stay tuned.
It pains me to no small degree to admit just how intrigued I am by the wounded pirate lying passed-out in my garden.
Thrice now I’ve walked past him, twice to water my tomatoes and once to scare off the gulls. While my investment in this scoundrel’s safety is hardly exceptional, the birds are scarily large and I have no desire to see such a fresh enigma carried off by buzzards.I've little investment in the scoundrel's safety but to have such a fresh enigma carried off by buzzards would be a waste.
His origins are no mystery. The rat’s sleeve is embroidered with a poorly-stitched insignia depicting a skeletal hand holding a torch. I know its meaning just as well as the next diver: faded red flames to represent the fires of rebellion, the hand to represent a certain Captain’s guiding hand through the darkness of war.the faded red flames of rebellion, a certain Captain's guiding hand. It’s laughably egotistical, but then again pride is the least of his crimes as member of the Notched Blades, "freedom fighting" corsairs from the East. Thank goodness so few pirates still existed in Italy.
So this pirate is a member of the self-christened Notched Blades, that notorious band of loosely-connected factions prowling the waters to the East. The valiant freedom fighters determined to put a stop to perceived commercial overreach from the United Merchant Conglomerate and their quiet British Imperial sponsors. It’s hardly an insightful conclusion; there aren’t many corsairs still in operation in this part of the world.
None of my newfound insights help in the slightest to explain what this self-interested degenerate is doing in my garden. Does my five-foot woodengarden fence do nothing to deter heavily wounded intruders? This marauder is very possibly lying on a floral deathbed of peonies and rutabaga, and it seems I have little recourse but to watch and wait for him to die. Shame, but my training is decidedly not medical.
Over the next few days, the half-dead pirate […]
Mainly the goal was "say similar, but with less words." Also dropped some of the more in-depth background on the Notched Blades being loosely associated and fighting British Imperial-backed forces. Figure that right now the focus is "What is this pirate doing here?" as opposed to "here's the geopolitical situation."
And hola, Dertinus! ¿Como estás?
This is a signature. It was a simple signature. But it has been upgraded.
Belolonandalogalo, Sunny | Draíocht, Kholias | Eggo Lass, 100 Dungeons
Talorin Tebedi, Vecna: Eve | Cherry, Stormwreck | Chipper, Strahd
We Are Modron
Get rickrolled here. Awesome music here. Track 48, 5/23/25, Immaculate Mary
JJJJJJJJJJj
I make strange but effective solutions to your DM problems!
Homebrew: Monsters Species Spells Background(s)
I am secretly a green dragon. Also a Demon Lord.
Thanks for the advice. I’ll do my best to follow it. My biggest concern so far has definitely been my doing a little too much infodumping, or doing it in an annoying and confusing way (such as nonsensical namedropping in the fourth paragraph). This is what I have so far, if you’re interested. No need to read it, I won’t be offended.
Surriento, Regno di Napoli, Italia; 1696
It pains me to no small degree to admit just how intrigued I am by the wounded pirate lying passed-out in my garden.
Thrice now I’ve walked past him, twice to water my tomatoes and once to scare off the gulls. While my investment in this scoundrel’s safety is hardly exceptional, the birds are scarily large and I have no desire to see such a fresh enigma carried off by buzzards.
His origins are no mystery. The rat’s sleeve is embroidered with a poorly-stitched insignia depicting a skeletal hand holding a torch. I know its meaning just as well as the next diver: faded red flames to represent the fires of rebellion, the hand to represent a certain Captain’s guiding hand through the darkness of war. It’s laughably egotistical, but then again pride is the least of his crimes.
So this pirate is a member of the self-christened Notched Blades, that notorious band of loosely-connected factions prowling the waters to the East. The valiant freedom fighters determined to put a stop to perceived commercial overreach from the United Merchant Conglomerate and their quiet British Imperial sponsors. It’s hardly an insightful conclusion; there aren’t many corsairs still in operation in this part of the world.
None of my newfound insights help in the slightest to explain what this self-interested degenerate is doing in my garden. Does my five-foot wooden fence do nothing to deter heavily wounded intruders? This marauder is very possibly lying on a floral deathbed of peonies and rutabaga, and it seems I have little recourse but to watch and wait for him to die. Shame, but my training is decidedly not medical.
Over the next few days, the half-dead pirate […]
I’m well aware this is unlikely to win any awards. I just want a fun way to get back into writing, with the possibility of recognition as an extra bit of motivation.
Terra Lubridia archive:
The Bloody Barnacle | The Gut | The Athene Crusader | The Jewel of Atlantis
I’m not liking the way this looks at all. The writing style is somehow very grating, and I don’t know how to fix it.
Terra Lubridia archive:
The Bloody Barnacle | The Gut | The Athene Crusader | The Jewel of Atlantis
*nah s'good, mate!*
Sig but long ^w^
Gulpmissle Day, Saturday, Feburay 15th, 2025
💛🤍💜🖤 🩷💛💙
Henlo, I am a pan, NB, chaotic ADHD mess of a furry.
I am also a eepy eeper, who likes WoF, WC, and fire.
Soo....last comment...I mean...I am there for now.
I have made a huge homebrew setting that I am still working on putting here in DDB. Please give me feedback, I want to know all of what I am doing wrong, and what I am doing right. The thread is a huge work in progress, so everything in it from content to layout is subject to change. Please check this forum: Welcome to Zionderia
Also I have a fun thread that explores an idea about dreams based off the movie Inception. I still need to add the link but stay tuned.
How is everybody?! It has been a while!
I have made a huge homebrew setting that I am still working on putting here in DDB. Please give me feedback, I want to know all of what I am doing wrong, and what I am doing right. The thread is a huge work in progress, so everything in it from content to layout is subject to change. Please check this forum: Welcome to Zionderia
Also I have a fun thread that explores an idea about dreams based off the movie Inception. I still need to add the link but stay tuned.
hello and good early evening
merlin the warlock
I'm good, but unless you where here at like the 2024 summer you prob don't know me
Sig but long ^w^
Gulpmissle Day, Saturday, Feburay 15th, 2025
💛🤍💜🖤 🩷💛💙
Henlo, I am a pan, NB, chaotic ADHD mess of a furry.
I am also a eepy eeper, who likes WoF, WC, and fire.
I keep wanting to player healer/support characters, even though I have no way of using them.
Life Domain + A level in Druid for the Lifeberry spell. That's Goodberry with +3 healing per berry for 40hp of non-combat healing.
Could also try pairing with Circle of Stars where one of the starry forms also gives a bonus to healing.
By the way, I stumbled across you while looking at a thread on EnWorld. How would you say it compares to here?
This is a signature. It was a simple signature. But it has been upgraded.
Belolonandalogalo, Sunny | Draíocht, Kholias | Eggo Lass, 100 Dungeons
Talorin Tebedi, Vecna: Eve | Cherry, Stormwreck | Chipper, Strahd
We Are Modron
Get rickrolled here. Awesome music here. Track 48, 5/23/25, Immaculate Mary
First off, DDB seems to skew younger while EnWorld is full of those that are 50 and older (it’s something many of the common posters talk about themselves on occasion). Enworld is also a place for all forms of TTRPG, not just 5e D&D (though that is still a very active and popular section of the forum). They also don’t have something quite like the off-topic forum.
I feel like I remeber your pf name, but I do not believe I ever really MET you. How do you do?
I have made a huge homebrew setting that I am still working on putting here in DDB. Please give me feedback, I want to know all of what I am doing wrong, and what I am doing right. The thread is a huge work in progress, so everything in it from content to layout is subject to change. Please check this forum: Welcome to Zionderia
Also I have a fun thread that explores an idea about dreams based off the movie Inception. I still need to add the link but stay tuned.
I'm certainly no expert writer, but some possible thoughts if you're not liking the cadence?
Mainly the goal was "say similar, but with less words." Also dropped some of the more in-depth background on the Notched Blades being loosely associated and fighting British Imperial-backed forces. Figure that right now the focus is "What is this pirate doing here?" as opposed to "here's the geopolitical situation."
This is a signature. It was a simple signature. But it has been upgraded.
Belolonandalogalo, Sunny | Draíocht, Kholias | Eggo Lass, 100 Dungeons
Talorin Tebedi, Vecna: Eve | Cherry, Stormwreck | Chipper, Strahd
We Are Modron
Get rickrolled here. Awesome music here. Track 48, 5/23/25, Immaculate Mary
yeah, same. doin' good tho
Sig but long ^w^
Gulpmissle Day, Saturday, Feburay 15th, 2025
💛🤍💜🖤 🩷💛💙
Henlo, I am a pan, NB, chaotic ADHD mess of a furry.
I am also a eepy eeper, who likes WoF, WC, and fire.
Jesus, 1298 pages here since my first post here
Sig but long ^w^
Gulpmissle Day, Saturday, Feburay 15th, 2025
💛🤍💜🖤 🩷💛💙
Henlo, I am a pan, NB, chaotic ADHD mess of a furry.
I am also a eepy eeper, who likes WoF, WC, and fire.
Good morning everyone
they/her Always open to chat. Just send me a PM
Whatever it takes
Yeah, take me to the top
I'm ready for whatever it takes
'Cause I love the adrenaline in my veins
I do what it takes
mornin'
Sig but long ^w^
Gulpmissle Day, Saturday, Feburay 15th, 2025
💛🤍💜🖤 🩷💛💙
Henlo, I am a pan, NB, chaotic ADHD mess of a furry.
I am also a eepy eeper, who likes WoF, WC, and fire.
This many posts since my first post here: 24662
Sig but long ^w^
Gulpmissle Day, Saturday, Feburay 15th, 2025
💛🤍💜🖤 🩷💛💙
Henlo, I am a pan, NB, chaotic ADHD mess of a furry.
I am also a eepy eeper, who likes WoF, WC, and fire.
I joined about when 76338 posts where here
Sig but long ^w^
Gulpmissle Day, Saturday, Feburay 15th, 2025
💛🤍💜🖤 🩷💛💙
Henlo, I am a pan, NB, chaotic ADHD mess of a furry.
I am also a eepy eeper, who likes WoF, WC, and fire.