"Why does the inside of your back pocket feel like a hairy thigh?"
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Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Playing a oneshot as baby werewolves. My character is the Hyper intelligent werewolf five year old named Sparky. My friends in this campaign are Garth, dumb baby werewolf, and Hunter, shy toddler who follows rules. We are all comic relief characters in a movie.
Our plan and list of stuff for the werewolves to invade the island with:
Waterproof bags Floating armor
lighter faster werewolves for scouts raft
werewolves who can swim under the water
Optional: werewolves with crossbows stolen from ships
rust proof weapons
Optional: snake ropes
explosive poles for sinking ships large amounts of explosives in case of enemies having forts waterproof barrels
Plan: send in one or two cursed werewolves who only change once a month, and give them orders to sneakily turn as many people as possible or kill them all. Then send in the main force to keep the area under control as a forward base. Use explosives to destroy any forts or mounted opposition on the island.
I am part of the Cult of Grammar. Respect us. Or we will find the slightest mistake in your grammar, and never let you forget it. Clones would have saved Star Wars, and Kylo Ren sucks. MAKE THE EMPIRE GREAT AGAIN!!! I am a stormtrooper, and the Skywalker family is made of nothing but idiots who are insane. Cough Anakin and Luke Skywalker Cough
Also we threw each other into the ocean a bunch so now the dumb werewolf is clean!
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I am part of the Cult of Grammar. Respect us. Or we will find the slightest mistake in your grammar, and never let you forget it. Clones would have saved Star Wars, and Kylo Ren sucks. MAKE THE EMPIRE GREAT AGAIN!!! I am a stormtrooper, and the Skywalker family is made of nothing but idiots who are insane. Cough Anakin and Luke Skywalker Cough
Warlock: "I move to take the mug of beer from the Sorcerer, to tell him he's had enough."
Sorcerer: "If he does that; I want to try and grab it before he does."
DM: "Make a "Sleight of Hand" check."
Sorcerer: "Natural 20."
DM: "Right...much to your surprise, Warlock; your hand suddenly hits the table, where you thought the mug of beer was. You look up...and you see the Sorcerer drinking merrily from the glass."
It's a spell from the Snack Domain. (Right @OboeLauren ?)
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Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
It was. ...just not the back pocket of a dwarf who they thought was standing there.
From the same session moments later:
Barbarian to Rogue: "How'd it go?" Rogue after an uncomfortable successful(?) pickpocket: "Turns out it's a bear thing." Sorcerer: "I think you'll find that's a Firbolg." Rogue: "Yeah. Bear thing."
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Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
DM: "You are about to pursue the strange halfling out of the tavern...when suddenly that smiling tiefling from before stumbles over and drapes her arm over your shoulder."
Tiefling: "HEeeeey...you're one of those 'venturers from before...ya enjoyin' the festival?!"
Sorcerer: "Where'd the halfling go?!" (Perception check)
DM: "The halfling has left the tavern."
Sorcerer: "Dammit...I want to "Insight" the tiefling to see if she deliberately covered for him to escape."
DM: "Go ahead and roll."
Sorcerer: "Natural 20!"
DM: "...she is DRUNK."
Tiefling: (giggles) "You're so GRUMPY...ye should...come drink with me..."
Halfling: Twig! Hoogs is going to join the dragon hunters! I saw him slip them a note and I took it and it says to message him! We should beat him up! Changling: All I did was give them a note that said "Message me, Hoogs" I just wanted to learn about their weaponry. Tabaxi: Did it really just say message me? Halfling: Well, yea, *pulls out the note* but that means he's going to try and join him. Tabaxi: We don't know that.
DM: What are you doing Yog? Tortle: My character is going to bed. He doesn't want to deal with any of this.
"You vowed revenge on those who took away your cushy life as a bad Custos at some monastery whose name you never learned... and you haven't a clue who those people are, but they will pay dearly - or at least as much to afford a nice meal now and then if revenge's too much trouble."
(Roger Wilco is my spirit animal.)
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Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
So, background: I talked to the DM about pranking the party by feeding them a certain mushroom from the Underdark, known as a Tongue of Madness. It causes whoever eats it to speak aloud their every thought for an hour. He said he'd allow it, but I always forgot to actually do it when I had the chance, so this takes place near the end of the campaign.
Me, the rogue, OOC: I wish to use the bell I got earlier to make some stew.
DM: Okay, but why a bell?
Me, OOC: It's the only thing I have on me that would make any sense to make stew out of.
DM: Well, okay then. What do you put in the stew?
Me, OOC: Oh, you know, water, spices, meat, vegetables, mushrooms, anything that you would normally find in a stew.
DM: Alright, you're making stew.
Paladin, OOC: I wish to bless the stew!
DM: Okay, you bless the stew. Anyone who has any heals (I don't remember how much) HP.
Everyone but me, including the familiars: I have some stew!
DM: Okay, you all heal (whatever amount) HP. You also start speaking your thoughts out loud. All of your thoughts.
Cleric: "Hmm, this is really good stew. Wait, why am I talking out loud? Why is everyone talking out loud!?"
Fighter/Paladin: "Oh, crap, I did I forget to turn the stove off?"
Fighter/Paladin's pig: "Oinky oinkety oink!""
Me: *Extreme laughter*
...Little did I know we had a boss fight coming up, and I just made it so that the BBEG would know all our plans before we did anything...
So, background: I talked to the DM about pranking the party by feeding them a certain mushroom from the Underdark, known as a Tongue of Madness. It causes whoever eats it to speak aloud their every thought for an hour. He said he'd allow it, but I always forgot to actually do it when I had the chance, so this takes place near the end of the campaign.
Me, the rogue, OOC: I wish to use the bell I got earlier to make some stew.
DM: Okay, but why a bell?
Me, OOC: It's the only thing I have on me that would make any sense to make stew out of.
DM: Well, okay then. What do you put in the stew?
Me, OOC: Oh, you know, water, spices, meat, vegetables, mushrooms, anything that you would normally find in a stew.
DM: Alright, you're making stew.
Paladin, OOC: I wish to bless the stew!
DM: Okay, you bless the stew. Anyone who has any heals (I don't remember how much) HP.
Everyone but me, including the familiars: I have some stew!
DM: Okay, you all heal (whatever amount) HP. You also start speaking your thoughts out loud. All of your thoughts.
Cleric: "Hmm, this is really good stew. Wait, why am I talking out loud? Why is everyone talking out loud!?"
Fighter/Paladin: "Oh, crap, I did I forget to turn the stove off?"
Fighter/Paladin's pig: "Oinky oinkety oink!""
Me: *Extreme laughter*
...Little did I know we had a boss fight coming up, and I just made it so that the BBEG would know all our plans before we did anything...
"Why does the inside of your back pocket feel like a hairy thigh?"
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Playing a oneshot as baby werewolves. My character is the Hyper intelligent werewolf five year old named Sparky. My friends in this campaign are Garth, dumb baby werewolf, and Hunter, shy toddler who follows rules. We are all comic relief characters in a movie.
Our plan and list of stuff for the werewolves to invade the island with:
Waterproof bags Floating armor
lighter faster werewolves for scouts raft
werewolves who can swim under the water
Optional: werewolves with crossbows stolen from ships
rust proof weapons
Optional: snake ropes
explosive poles for sinking ships large amounts of explosives in case of enemies having forts waterproof barrels
Plan: send in one or two cursed werewolves who only change once a month, and give them orders to sneakily turn as many people as possible or kill them all. Then send in the main force to keep the area under control as a forward base. Use explosives to destroy any forts or mounted opposition on the island.
-Signed, the People who Made this Plan
I am part of the Cult of Grammar. Respect us. Or we will find the slightest mistake in your grammar, and never let you forget it.
Clones would have saved Star Wars, and Kylo Ren sucks.
MAKE THE EMPIRE GREAT AGAIN!!! I am a stormtrooper, and the Skywalker family is made of nothing but idiots who are insane. Cough Anakin and Luke Skywalker Cough
Don't even TRY to argue with me about Star Wars.
Also we threw each other into the ocean a bunch so now the dumb werewolf is clean!
I am part of the Cult of Grammar. Respect us. Or we will find the slightest mistake in your grammar, and never let you forget it.
Clones would have saved Star Wars, and Kylo Ren sucks.
MAKE THE EMPIRE GREAT AGAIN!!! I am a stormtrooper, and the Skywalker family is made of nothing but idiots who are insane. Cough Anakin and Luke Skywalker Cough
Don't even TRY to argue with me about Star Wars.
Ha. As a lover of "subversion of expectations", this is golden.
(the wealthiest businessman in a town is found murdered, ripped to shreds during a holy festival)
Sorcerer: "Does this normally happen around here?"
Guard Captain: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooo...!!!"
Warlock: "I move to take the mug of beer from the Sorcerer, to tell him he's had enough."
Sorcerer: "If he does that; I want to try and grab it before he does."
DM: "Make a "Sleight of Hand" check."
Sorcerer: "Natural 20."
DM: "Right...much to your surprise, Warlock; your hand suddenly hits the table, where you thought the mug of beer was. You look up...and you see the Sorcerer drinking merrily from the glass."
Warlock: "What sorcery is this?!"
Sorcerer: (belches) "Beer-o-mancy."
It's a spell from the Snack Domain. (Right @OboeLauren ?)
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
I don't think that's a thigh.
DM: *Mad at me for pulling out the brains of the orc I just Killed*
DM: Ok, everyone go to sleep. Nightshade, while your sleeping you roll over and kiss the orc brain, make a saving throw
Me: Welp, I'm dead
It was. ...just not the back pocket of a dwarf who they thought was standing there.
From the same session moments later:
Barbarian to Rogue: "How'd it go?"
Rogue after an uncomfortable successful(?) pickpocket: "Turns out it's a bear thing."
Sorcerer: "I think you'll find that's a Firbolg."
Rogue: "Yeah. Bear thing."
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
DM: So you want to scare this dude right?
Jonah: Yes
DM: ok so roll
Jonah: Nat 20
DM: So you give this person a heart attack and Kill them
Later
Jonah: So wait that person I just killed was a demigod?
DM: Yes
DM: "You are about to pursue the strange halfling out of the tavern...when suddenly that smiling tiefling from before stumbles over and drapes her arm over your shoulder."
Tiefling: "HEeeeey...you're one of those 'venturers from before...ya enjoyin' the festival?!"
Sorcerer: "Where'd the halfling go?!" (Perception check)
DM: "The halfling has left the tavern."
Sorcerer: "Dammit...I want to "Insight" the tiefling to see if she deliberately covered for him to escape."
DM: "Go ahead and roll."
Sorcerer: "Natural 20!"
DM: "...she is DRUNK."
Tiefling: (giggles) "You're so GRUMPY...ye should...come drink with me..."
Halfling: Twig! Hoogs is going to join the dragon hunters! I saw him slip them a note and I took it and it says to message him! We should beat him up!
Changling: All I did was give them a note that said "Message me, Hoogs" I just wanted to learn about their weaponry.
Tabaxi: Did it really just say message me?
Halfling: Well, yea, *pulls out the note* but that means he's going to try and join him.
Tabaxi: We don't know that.
DM: What are you doing Yog?
Tortle: My character is going to bed. He doesn't want to deal with any of this.
|| Sol Night-Arrow, Tabaxi Ranger ||
||Currently DMing a Homebrew Campaign ||
Guides or Important Threads of Mine ----- || List of ALL Official Familiars || My Homebrew Monsters ||
Level 3 One Shot Character Concepts ----- || Fist of the Gods || Triple Tap Hunter || Bullseye Dartmaster || Captain America ||
^^^Those are Links BTW^^^
After the party adopted an orphaned infant hobgoblin (they were allies with the parents, who were killed in battle fighting with the party).
Hobgoblin NPC currently caring for the baby boy: His name is J-
Rogue: Nope! That's not his name. His name is Bob.
Hobgoblin NPC: Ugh, no, it's Jer-
Rogue: Do shut up. His name is Bob. He will be known as Bob the Hobgob(lin).
Wizard: Are we seriously going to do this?
Rogue: Yes.
Wizard: But why?
Rogue: Because he's Bob the Hobgob.
Bard: And, we can raise him as a snob, that robs mobs as his job!
Paladin: *facepalms
Hobgoblin NPC: You know his name is Jeridon Ki-
Bard and Rogue Players: SHUT UP!
Please check out my homebrew, I would appreciate feedback:
Spells, Monsters, Subclasses, Races, Arcknight Class, Occultist Class, World, Enigmatic Esoterica forms
Paladin/Sorcerer: Oh, I speak inferna! (after a break where the DM told the teifling something about what their familiar found)
Teifling goes out with the Paladin and tells him what happened.
Paladin comes back in: NOT HAPPY JAN!
Odo Proudfoot - Lvl 10 Halfling Monk - Princes of the Apocalypse (Campaign Finished)
Orryn Pebblefoot - Lvl 5 Rock Gnome Wizard (Deceased) - Waterdeep: Dragon Heist (Deceased)
Anerin Ap Tewdr - Lvl 5 Human (Variant) Bard (College of Valor) - Waterdeep: Dragon Heist
From one of my backstories:
"You vowed revenge on those who took away your cushy life as a bad Custos at some monastery whose name you never learned... and you haven't a clue who those people are, but they will pay dearly - or at least as much to afford a nice meal now and then if revenge's too much trouble."
(Roger Wilco is my spirit animal.)
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Monk: *to tiny duergar mind master* “Whos a widdle cutie? You are! Maybe I could put you in a widdle cage and feed you cawots?”
DM: The duergar yells at you to stop, in a way that he thinks is intimidating, but is really cute.
*Later, when the duergar almost knocks the monk to zero from full*
DM: As he strikes you, he sneers “Who’s a cutie now!?”
Monk: “You can play tough, but you’ll always be my little carrot eater.”
DM: “Okay, the sessions over, I don’t have anything prepared ahead of you.”
PC: “I walk forward anyway.”
DM: “You fall into the abyss of my empty mind. As I scramble for ideas, a tarrasque forms in front of you. Roll a new character.”
“Our mission is now to get the duergar a worker’s union.”
RIP Tavern.
All hail King Jovan Fluffycloud Prince
Teleporting elf monk supremacy!, but druids are better
[Cactus]Waffles!”I don’t have any good quotes to put in my sig.” -Me
Random Elf: What are you doing?
Cleric Stuck in Cobwebs along with some hellhounds: Just hanging out
Random Elf: What's with the Hellhounds?
Cleric: Well, it began when I was a child, my Father was always allergic to dogs, and I always wanted a puppy. Instead I got this... Thing.
DM: The Hellhounds take 1 psychic damage
~~~
Cleric: I'll make friends with the spider!
DM: Roll animal handling, at disadvantage.
Cleric: Two nat 20s!
DM: Okay, hold on. I need to consider how far I'll allow animal handling to go.
Cleric: We become best friends.
DM: They decide they won't kill you right now and bring you to the edge of the forest before leaving you there.
Cleric: Thanks Buddies!
Rogue: I like how he leaves us here to get eaten by spiders.
: Systems Online : Nikoli_Goodfellow Homebrew : My WIP Homebrew Class :
(\_/)
( u u)
o/ \🥛🍪 Hey, take care of yourself alright?
So, background: I talked to the DM about pranking the party by feeding them a certain mushroom from the Underdark, known as a Tongue of Madness. It causes whoever eats it to speak aloud their every thought for an hour. He said he'd allow it, but I always forgot to actually do it when I had the chance, so this takes place near the end of the campaign.
Me, the rogue, OOC: I wish to use the bell I got earlier to make some stew.
DM: Okay, but why a bell?
Me, OOC: It's the only thing I have on me that would make any sense to make stew out of.
DM: Well, okay then. What do you put in the stew?
Me, OOC: Oh, you know, water, spices, meat, vegetables, mushrooms, anything that you would normally find in a stew.
DM: Alright, you're making stew.
Paladin, OOC: I wish to bless the stew!
DM: Okay, you bless the stew. Anyone who has any heals (I don't remember how much) HP.
Everyone but me, including the familiars: I have some stew!
DM: Okay, you all heal (whatever amount) HP. You also start speaking your thoughts out loud. All of your thoughts.
Cleric: "Hmm, this is really good stew. Wait, why am I talking out loud? Why is everyone talking out loud!?"
Fighter/Paladin: "Oh, crap, I did I forget to turn the stove off?"
Fighter/Paladin's pig: "Oinky oinkety oink!""
Me: *Extreme laughter*
...Little did I know we had a boss fight coming up, and I just made it so that the BBEG would know all our plans before we did anything...
Looking for a campaign? Or, perhaps, trying to start one? Come join Rolegate! Just send me a friend request (same name as here) and I'll help you get started!
Ducks are just geese lite. Focus on the future. It'll become the past soon enough.
Istari and White Counsel in Club. Not the wish-granter of a thread.
Become a Plague Doctor today!
Join the Knights of the Random Table and Calius and Kothar Industries!
Homebrew: Artifact, Dungeon
May be offline due to school
Well did you beat him.
KNIGHT OF RANDOM
Halike Morgad the Dhampir fist of arlo
Sir strange one of the centaurs