Basically, what would you do for a living if you woke up one day as a 20th level Wizard in the Real World?
How would you make a living? Use Stone Shape and Wall of Stone and set up a construction company? Set up Teleportation Circles on either side of the Atlantic and give American Airlines a run for their money? Scry for the NSA/FBI/CIA?
Constraints: 1) We'll go with 5e Wizards. School choice is up to you. 2) For the sake of argument and this thought exercise, we will say that 1GP=$100 US. There has been all kinds of math and other posts about this, and $100US is about in the middle of the road. 3) You are the only Wizard. You do not have to worry about Dispel Magic. 4) No Violent World Domination. Let's get creative and see what kind of business venture you can get into for yourself. 5) No Wish spell usage other than to use any 8th level or lower spell. The other usages opens up several cans of worms, and let's skip that for now. 6) Crafting. Let's use Xanathar's for how long/how much it will cost you to craft Magic Items should you want to go that route. 7) You wake up with a Spellcasting Focus of your choice, as real world usage of Components would be a lot more complicated than what 5e allows. You will still have to get your Ruby Dust for Continual Flame etc etc.
I’d use a divination spell to win the lottery for a couple of hundred million dollars. Then I’d start researching how to use magic to extend my healthy and active lifespan to a few hundred years and enjoy myself. I’d probably set myself up on a tropical island to do my research.
Realistically, with Clone, you could just keep coming back as yourself at 20 years old. You are legally still yourself, just really freaking old. Blood, fingerprints, dental would all be the same.
Or, you could use some of that fortune to create new Identities that you assume every 50 or so years.
Realistically, with Clone, you could just keep coming back as yourself at 20 years old. You are legally still yourself, just really freaking old. Blood, fingerprints, dental would all be the same.
Or, you could use some of that fortune to create new Identities that you assume every 50 or so years.
New identities would probably be the better route, if you're the only wizard in the world, you're going to run into problems if you keep being yourself.
Go some combination of Enchantment and Divination .... find out what people are up to with Divination, use Enchantment to manipulate them into giving themselves away/confessing.
I pretty much would want to be my character. Evoker with a ring as a focus. I would want to update my spells though for more utility. I think I would want to be a teacher and teach magic. I could teach our world how to access the weave and change the world.
Couple simulacrums and true poly them into adult gold dragon bodyguards/small army. Demiplane for storage of the ol clones. Make some blink dogs cuz that would be cool. Planeshift a bit and see what that's like. Definitely crash out the first night in a magnificent mansion.
As an 20th level illusion wizard, I'd have so much fun lying and faking illusions to get out of things I don't want to do. I'd most likely employ other people to make money for me to fund my research for spells. I'd do the ultimate VR experience which costs a ton of money run by a plethora of simulacrums. It'd be fun to fiddle around constructs like shield guardians and maybe some homebrew things (now that I think about it, it's possible to make whatever I desire).
Steal billions of dollars online by using Simulacra (via Wish) of stupidly rich people to transfer the contents of their offshore accounts to my off shore accounts...lol. A blackmail scheme using the same techniques might be interesting.
Dominate spells, fly, levitate, convenient cantrips like prestidigitation, make some fun. Get what you want, can hover instead of walk, can do whatever like grabbing stuff, or flavoring food more. Also teleportation and wish, easy for being lazy.
So I approached this as making a level 20 wizard with starting skills and background as close to “me” as it lets me. I went with the standard Human. I normally pick Variant but this mental exercise is about becoming a wizard not changing one's race and I would not have any of the skills/feats, so IRL I'm definitely more standard than variant.
For my Arcane Tradition I went with Conjuration. I am inherently lazy and feel the features of those would benefit me the most. I'm not likely to go into battle and I'm not one for destruction, I don't like tricking people so illusion is not the best and I hate the idea of messing with people's minds, so Enchantment is not good. Not saying I would never use these, just not enough for it to be my best thing. Summoning servants or guards and teleporting does sound like something I would do a lot more of.
4th Level ASI, increase Intelligence. +2
8th Level ASI, Increase Intelligence, +2. Since I went with point buy and put 15 as my Intelligence (not super unrealistic, my mind is the only good thing about me). So, with +1 race and +4 from ASIs I'm now maxed Intelligence, and YAY because I would really like to be smarter.
12th Level ASI, I chose Magic Initiate feat: Mage Hand, Prestidigitation and Unseen Servant. This gets me the spell added and once per day without having to ritual-cast would save me a lot of bother. And these cantrips are the best for real life.
16th Level ASI, Aberrant Dragonmark feat – I get a cool looking tattoo without any of the pain plus a cantrip and 1st-level spell once per day. Chose the cantrip Light because ya never know when that would be useful and 1st level spell was Sleep. Other people are going to have the stats of a Commoner so this is a nice pacifist way to end altercations like if I get mugged or something. Something that would be nice to use in those rare moments it can be vital and without ever needing to prepare it. It can also be fun if my brother's spawn annoy me I can make them sleep and get a nice minute of peace when babysitting.
19th Level ASI, Ritual Caster (Wizard) feat. Because you can never have too many spells especially since I'll be in a world without any spells to copy into my spellbook – the spells I choose through these class features are the only ones I get. I chose Alarm and Comprehend Languages. No, I did not choose Find Familiar because I can use a Wish for it for the rare times I would need to cast it and trying to explain why I am getting $1,000 worth of incense is gonna be tricky (I hate lying). Why bother with that when I can use Wish instead? FYI, my familiar would totes be a cat. Kitties are awesome and I lost mine, having a kitty where I never have to worry about cars, dogs or evil people putting out anti-freeze would be amazing.
S P E L L S
Cantrips: Minor Illusion, Mending, Message, Fire Bolt, Control Flames
1st Level Spells: Catapult, Disguise Self, Feather Fall, Fog Cloud, Magic Missile, Silent Image, Cause Fear, Tenser's Floating Disk
For my Spell Mastery I would probably have Silent Image as my at-will. It has many uses applicable to a variety of situations. But obviously this can change to Disguise Self if I want to have a day not being me or have Feather Fall as it and teleport high up so I can experience the thrill of skyfalling without ever worrying about dying. The Floating Disk is the least useful on the list, since it follows so far behind, can't be used in public (I'd be the “hide my magic” type) and so on. Still, it can have uses.
Misty Step would of course be one I'd use for my Spell Mastery. With that and Benign Transposition I can teleport 60 ft in 6 seconds as often as I like. I'm lazy, OK? Although I would loathe to use it, Suggestion may be necessary to keep my powers hidden.
3rd Level Spells: Water Breathing, Major Image, Fly, Catnap. Sending, Tongues, Dispel Magic
WB would be fun to go underwater and never worry about drowning (literally sleep underwater without fear!). Major Image has many uses even when not trying to trick people in any hostile way, like making permanent illusions to hide secret doors for instance. Fly needs no explanation, sending is basically texting and guaranteeing they get it and can respond even when they're out of signal, Catnap because my lunch break will become so much better and getting to use Arcane Recovery in 10 minutes can be quite convenient. Tongues is useful if you're going to be teleporting around. Dispel Magic when I'm the only one able to use magic? Ah, but if I need to end a long lasting effect early then I can. Perhaps I want to True Polymorph myself and see what is like to live as a different creature for a few days? Why, a Wish for Glyphs and put in Dispels and now I can just walk over the glyphs and get back to normal, since the only other alternative is damaging myself and that would be quite a bother.
DD because teleporting is fun and convenient. Private Sanctum so I don't have to hear the neighbours and can blast my music/tv as loud as I want, minor elementals because they can help with chores and things or guard my possessions or just have fun with (elemental dance party!) and polymorph because turning my brother or his spawn into toads is a blessing beyond words.
Create rooms and items out of thin air, move things with my mind and Fantasia without anything going wrong. So much fun. Modify memory is going to help keep my magic secret from those I don't trust or to make them forget it if they break my trust later.
6th Level: Arcane Gate, Scatter, Flesh to Stone
AG is useful if you need to go back and forth between places and teleporting other people with Scatter can be fun (evil spawn of my brother if you don't behave I'll clump you together into a cage!). Flesh to Stone is in case I need to deal with somebody more long term.
Etherealness is because basically you get to be invisible, fly and pass through walls for 8 hours, how could that not be fun? Teleport because seriously, go anywhere in the world in an instant for free and can bring friends? Doh, it's a no-brainer. And Forcecage is just because it would be funny to give people a time-out if they need one. The mansion is also a no-brainer: free home, food, drink, with luxury items, servants? Yes please. Rent a cheap, shitty, flat/apartment for the electric and stuff but use the mansion for actually living in. Or use it to live entirely off the grid wherever you want (even under the sea, thank you Water Breathing ritual casting).
8th Level: Demiplane, Telepathy, Control Weather
Infinite storage, create places specifically suited for your needs or whatever. Wish up some glyphs to store useful/harmful spells so on a future day you can Plane Shift (via Wish) into it. It seemed useful. Telepathy is because it would save on casting Sending multiple times to have a conversation and could be useful in other ways. Control Weather because if I want a vacation I want a nice one.
9th Level: Wish, Time Stop, True Polymorph, Mass Polymorph
The polymorphs are just fun. Time Stop can be amazing. And Wish is a must-have. Replicate any spell of 8th or lower without having to worry about casting time, components (or their cost)? Oh yes. Hello immortality with Clone, hello Resurrection, and so much more. Need a job to keep the tax-peeps off your back but don't want to work? Why, Wish up a Simulacrum and it can do that for you, while also doubling most of the spell slots. Wish can also mean I can use the spells I am less likely to use if the need ever does show up: like using enchantment spells to have people make new identities for me or such as.
I would not seek fame or the quick fortunes like winning the lottery (because it will bring attention to you, and no spell or Divination feature actually would let you predict lottery numbers in advance, Portent is very narrow in its application and intention – you might be able to pick 1 number per use, a max of 3, not all and it giving you any is a considerable stretch of interpretation of how it works, since it really is limited only to checks/attacks not randomised number draws, and Foresight gives you the next 6 seconds only). I would want a way to live my life quietly, with the fun I would want, and otherwise be left alone.
Basically, what would you do for a living if you woke up one day as a 20th level Wizard in the Real World?
How would you make a living? Use Stone Shape and Wall of Stone and set up a construction company? Set up Teleportation Circles on either side of the Atlantic and give American Airlines a run for their money? Scry for the NSA/FBI/CIA?
Constraints:
1) We'll go with 5e Wizards. School choice is up to you.
2) For the sake of argument and this thought exercise, we will say that 1GP=$100 US. There has been all kinds of math and other posts about this, and $100US is about in the middle of the road.
3) You are the only Wizard. You do not have to worry about Dispel Magic.
4) No Violent World Domination. Let's get creative and see what kind of business venture you can get into for yourself.
5) No Wish spell usage other than to use any 8th level or lower spell. The other usages opens up several cans of worms, and let's skip that for now.
6) Crafting. Let's use Xanathar's for how long/how much it will cost you to craft Magic Items should you want to go that route.
7) You wake up with a Spellcasting Focus of your choice, as real world usage of Components would be a lot more complicated than what 5e allows. You will still have to get your Ruby Dust for Continual Flame etc etc.
Enjoy! I look forward to hearing your ideas!
I’d use a divination spell to win the lottery for a couple of hundred million dollars. Then I’d start researching how to use magic to extend my healthy and active lifespan to a few hundred years and enjoy myself. I’d probably set myself up on a tropical island to do my research.
Professional computer geek
Realistically, with Clone, you could just keep coming back as yourself at 20 years old. You are legally still yourself, just really freaking old. Blood, fingerprints, dental would all be the same.
Or, you could use some of that fortune to create new Identities that you assume every 50 or so years.
New identities would probably be the better route, if you're the only wizard in the world, you're going to run into problems if you keep being yourself.
A 20th level wizard can easily create new identities. It’s not that hard when you can dominate people to create birth certificates and school records.
Professional computer geek
Go some combination of Enchantment and Divination .... find out what people are up to with Divination, use Enchantment to manipulate them into giving themselves away/confessing.
Level 1 : Cantips - Prestidigitation and Mending = Worlds cheapest Dry Cleaning business ;)
I pretty much would want to be my character. Evoker with a ring as a focus. I would want to update my spells though for more utility. I think I would want to be a teacher and teach magic. I could teach our world how to access the weave and change the world.
Forget dry cleaning, world's cheapest computer repair.
I might actually retain my conscience, and probably try (and fail) to fix climate change or something like that :/
Couple simulacrums and true poly them into adult gold dragon bodyguards/small army. Demiplane for storage of the ol clones. Make some blink dogs cuz that would be cool. Planeshift a bit and see what that's like. Definitely crash out the first night in a magnificent mansion.
As an 20th level illusion wizard, I'd have so much fun lying and faking illusions to get out of things I don't want to do. I'd most likely employ other people to make money for me to fund my research for spells. I'd do the ultimate VR experience which costs a ton of money run by a plethora of simulacrums. It'd be fun to fiddle around constructs like shield guardians and maybe some homebrew things (now that I think about it, it's possible to make whatever I desire).
Steal billions of dollars online by using Simulacra (via Wish) of stupidly rich people to transfer the contents of their offshore accounts to my off shore accounts...lol. A blackmail scheme using the same techniques might be interesting.
Abide.
Find Familiar, summon Psudodragon, be happy. :D
Find me on Twitter: @OboeLauren
Find a steep hill, cast grease, laugh at the following chaos
"Toss a coin to your [Insert class here]"
Replace 'find a steep hill' with 'attend the Super Bowl'. :D
Dominate spells, fly, levitate, convenient cantrips like prestidigitation, make some fun. Get what you want, can hover instead of walk, can do whatever like grabbing stuff, or flavoring food more. Also teleportation and wish, easy for being lazy.
Also known as CrafterB and DankMemer.
Here, have some homebrew classes! Subclasses to? Why not races. Feats, feats as well. I have a lot of magic items. Lastly I got monsters, fun, fun times.
Replace 'find a steep hill' with 'attend the Super Bowl'. :D
If we are talking Super Bowl then Reverse Gravity could be fun. To be honest it could probably just be a new sport.
"Toss a coin to your [Insert class here]"
So I approached this as making a level 20 wizard with starting skills and background as close to “me” as it lets me. I went with the standard Human. I normally pick Variant but this mental exercise is about becoming a wizard not changing one's race and I would not have any of the skills/feats, so IRL I'm definitely more standard than variant.
For my Arcane Tradition I went with Conjuration. I am inherently lazy and feel the features of those would benefit me the most. I'm not likely to go into battle and I'm not one for destruction, I don't like tricking people so illusion is not the best and I hate the idea of messing with people's minds, so Enchantment is not good. Not saying I would never use these, just not enough for it to be my best thing. Summoning servants or guards and teleporting does sound like something I would do a lot more of.
4th Level ASI, increase Intelligence. +2
8th Level ASI, Increase Intelligence, +2. Since I went with point buy and put 15 as my Intelligence (not super unrealistic, my mind is the only good thing about me). So, with +1 race and +4 from ASIs I'm now maxed Intelligence, and YAY because I would really like to be smarter.
12th Level ASI, I chose Magic Initiate feat: Mage Hand, Prestidigitation and Unseen Servant. This gets me the spell added and once per day without having to ritual-cast would save me a lot of bother. And these cantrips are the best for real life.
16th Level ASI, Aberrant Dragonmark feat – I get a cool looking tattoo without any of the pain plus a cantrip and 1st-level spell once per day. Chose the cantrip Light because ya never know when that would be useful and 1st level spell was Sleep. Other people are going to have the stats of a Commoner so this is a nice pacifist way to end altercations like if I get mugged or something. Something that would be nice to use in those rare moments it can be vital and without ever needing to prepare it. It can also be fun if my brother's spawn annoy me I can make them sleep and get a nice minute of peace when babysitting.
19th Level ASI, Ritual Caster (Wizard) feat. Because you can never have too many spells especially since I'll be in a world without any spells to copy into my spellbook – the spells I choose through these class features are the only ones I get. I chose Alarm and Comprehend Languages. No, I did not choose Find Familiar because I can use a Wish for it for the rare times I would need to cast it and trying to explain why I am getting $1,000 worth of incense is gonna be tricky (I hate lying). Why bother with that when I can use Wish instead? FYI, my familiar would totes be a cat. Kitties are awesome and I lost mine, having a kitty where I never have to worry about cars, dogs or evil people putting out anti-freeze would be amazing.
S P E L L S
Cantrips: Minor Illusion, Mending, Message, Fire Bolt, Control Flames
1st Level Spells: Catapult, Disguise Self, Feather Fall, Fog Cloud, Magic Missile, Silent Image, Cause Fear, Tenser's Floating Disk
For my Spell Mastery I would probably have Silent Image as my at-will. It has many uses applicable to a variety of situations. But obviously this can change to Disguise Self if I want to have a day not being me or have Feather Fall as it and teleport high up so I can experience the thrill of skyfalling without ever worrying about dying. The Floating Disk is the least useful on the list, since it follows so far behind, can't be used in public (I'd be the “hide my magic” type) and so on. Still, it can have uses.
2nd Level Spells: Detect Thoughts, Enlarge/Reduce, Invisibility, Misty Step, Suggestion.
Misty Step would of course be one I'd use for my Spell Mastery. With that and Benign Transposition I can teleport 60 ft in 6 seconds as often as I like. I'm lazy, OK? Although I would loathe to use it, Suggestion may be necessary to keep my powers hidden.
3rd Level Spells: Water Breathing, Major Image, Fly, Catnap. Sending, Tongues, Dispel Magic
WB would be fun to go underwater and never worry about drowning (literally sleep underwater without fear!). Major Image has many uses even when not trying to trick people in any hostile way, like making permanent illusions to hide secret doors for instance. Fly needs no explanation, sending is basically texting and guaranteeing they get it and can respond even when they're out of signal, Catnap because my lunch break will become so much better and getting to use Arcane Recovery in 10 minutes can be quite convenient. Tongues is useful if you're going to be teleporting around. Dispel Magic when I'm the only one able to use magic? Ah, but if I need to end a long lasting effect early then I can. Perhaps I want to True Polymorph myself and see what is like to live as a different creature for a few days? Why, a Wish for Glyphs and put in Dispels and now I can just walk over the glyphs and get back to normal, since the only other alternative is damaging myself and that would be quite a bother.
Signature Spells: Major Image, Catnap
4th Level: Dimension Door, Mordenkainen's Private Sanctum, Conjure Minor Elementals, Polymorph
DD because teleporting is fun and convenient. Private Sanctum so I don't have to hear the neighbours and can blast my music/tv as loud as I want, minor elementals because they can help with chores and things or guard my possessions or just have fun with (elemental dance party!) and polymorph because turning my brother or his spawn into toads is a blessing beyond words.
5th Level: Creation, Telekinesis, Wall of Stone, Animate Objects, Greater Invisibility, Modify Memory,
Create rooms and items out of thin air, move things with my mind and Fantasia without anything going wrong. So much fun. Modify memory is going to help keep my magic secret from those I don't trust or to make them forget it if they break my trust later.
6th Level: Arcane Gate, Scatter, Flesh to Stone
AG is useful if you need to go back and forth between places and teleporting other people with Scatter can be fun (evil spawn of my brother if you don't behave I'll clump you together into a cage!). Flesh to Stone is in case I need to deal with somebody more long term.
7th Level: Etherealness, Mordenkainen's Magnificent Mansion, Teleport, Forcecage
Etherealness is because basically you get to be invisible, fly and pass through walls for 8 hours, how could that not be fun? Teleport because seriously, go anywhere in the world in an instant for free and can bring friends? Doh, it's a no-brainer. And Forcecage is just because it would be funny to give people a time-out if they need one. The mansion is also a no-brainer: free home, food, drink, with luxury items, servants? Yes please. Rent a cheap, shitty, flat/apartment for the electric and stuff but use the mansion for actually living in. Or use it to live entirely off the grid wherever you want (even under the sea, thank you Water Breathing ritual casting).
8th Level: Demiplane, Telepathy, Control Weather
Infinite storage, create places specifically suited for your needs or whatever. Wish up some glyphs to store useful/harmful spells so on a future day you can Plane Shift (via Wish) into it. It seemed useful. Telepathy is because it would save on casting Sending multiple times to have a conversation and could be useful in other ways. Control Weather because if I want a vacation I want a nice one.
9th Level: Wish, Time Stop, True Polymorph, Mass Polymorph
The polymorphs are just fun. Time Stop can be amazing. And Wish is a must-have. Replicate any spell of 8th or lower without having to worry about casting time, components (or their cost)? Oh yes. Hello immortality with Clone, hello Resurrection, and so much more. Need a job to keep the tax-peeps off your back but don't want to work? Why, Wish up a Simulacrum and it can do that for you, while also doubling most of the spell slots. Wish can also mean I can use the spells I am less likely to use if the need ever does show up: like using enchantment spells to have people make new identities for me or such as.
I would not seek fame or the quick fortunes like winning the lottery (because it will bring attention to you, and no spell or Divination feature actually would let you predict lottery numbers in advance, Portent is very narrow in its application and intention – you might be able to pick 1 number per use, a max of 3, not all and it giving you any is a considerable stretch of interpretation of how it works, since it really is limited only to checks/attacks not randomised number draws, and Foresight gives you the next 6 seconds only). I would want a way to live my life quietly, with the fun I would want, and otherwise be left alone.
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