granted, you now know what you want, but you don't know how to get it

I wish for a regular-sized grilled cheese sandwich

You have a regular sized grilled cheese sandwich, but when you bite into it, it is so hot that it gives your tongue severe burns. Your tongue then has to be amputated

I wish that my wish gets twisted (now there's a paradox for you!)

granted, the wording of your wish gets twisted, it now says, "I wish that twisted get my wish" and a man named twisted decides to give that wish to me!

I wish for a regular-sized 120 degree fahrenheit grilled cheese sandwich

Your wish is answered by a genie who is British and does not understand fahrenheit. The temperature is still very inaccurate

I wish for a friendly astromech droid

Granted, he is friendly, but wildly incompetent, he messes up at the most inopportune times. He is really cute tho

I wish for a regular-sized grilled cheese sandwich at the my ideal temperature

Granted, but it is in the core of the earth. Good luck getting it!

I wish for a slice of cheese pizza.

A waiter comes to your table with a tray with a slice of cheese pizza on a plate, but little did you know, the company that makes the cheese in the pizza added a mutation that made the pizza poisonous 

I wish for 500 dollars in my hands where I’m standing 

Granted, but it is 500 brazilian dollars, at the current exchange rate that is $89.51 USD

I wish for a regular-sized grilled cheese sandwich at the my ideal temperature in my hands

Your ideal temperature becomes the surface temperature of the sun

I wish for a single sour patch kid

An ugly sour patch kid appears in front of you and asks for a date.

I wish for a pet platypus.

Granted, Doofenschmirtz. You get a pet platypus. Wait!!! Perry the Pet Platypus?

I wish for inspiration for my next D&D campaign.

The inspiration you wish for sounds like s***.

I wish for good players for my campaign.

Ok. Two of your players rock up playing the most lawful good paladins ever, but the rest of the party are goblin/orc necromancers/rogues. Oh also, the paladin players are so good at roleplaying, they are those people who act because "It's just what my character would do!" Have fun!!!!!!!

I wish my players wouldn't metagame!

Granted. They are now trapped inside of the DND world for eternity, and will never gain outside knowledge to metagame with.

I wish for an infinitely regenerating slice of pizza. (Totally not a Gravity Falls reference)

Granted! It infinitely regenerates but it’s so delicious you can’t resist it- you die from eating 50 pizzas in a row.

I wish I had enough money to buy a Halloween costume 

Granted. But it's a cheap Walmart costume and that's all the money you have.

I wish for a single ordinary chicken nugget. 

Granted, but it’s a chicken nugget from McDonald’s from 1990, and it is rotten and tastes awful

I wish for a good storyline for a campaign

Quote from pandalv829 >>

Granted, but it’s a chicken nugget from McDonald’s from 1990, and it is rotten and tastes awful

I wish for a good storyline for a campaign

 you have an amazing idea for a storyline but then all your players leave

I wish I could remember all the lyrics from any song I have listened to at least once

You remember the lyrics, but not in the correct order (or the song title)

I wish for the ONEPIECE!

Granted. You gain the one piece that’s least useful from every machine existing 

I wish I and only I could use The Force in the normal world