. . . 

I wish for a new name.

Granted, your name is “Boops” now.

I wish my wife’s cat would stop pissing outside of her liter box.

Quote from Bubbub25 >>

Your Wish spell fails.

I wish absolutely nothing 

Quote from Bubbub25 >>

Quote from ArtificeMeal >>

you can now breathe while you are growing, but you loose the fantastic abillity to breathe once you stop growing, in a few minutes

i wish i could teleport to ManOfValor, hug him, apollogize for murdering all his friends and restore all his friendships that where lost

 You fail and make things worse.  I wish Limbo never existed

 i think you are missing the point of this challenge, the point is to exploit peoples poor wording, staying true to the letter of the wish while violating the spirit of the wish, throwing in an caveat if none are available.

saying "your wish fails" is kinda cheap

granted but now she always poops outside it instead

I wish this wish and my next wish cannot be tampered with or changed and is exactly how I want it.

And you do not get to say what my next wish is and I have my spell components and eyes, hands, and a mouth and I am alive.

Quote from IamSposta >>

Granted, your name is “Boops” now.

I wish my wife’s cat would stop pissing outside of her liter box.

 the cat now pisses only pisses within your wifes litter box, only your wife persumably does not have a litter box so it proceeds to default to "everything" being set as your wifes default litterbox, so absolutely nothing changes and depending on how the rules of this forum game goes you might need to spend weeks figuring out why your wish did not work

Quote from ArtificeMeal >>

Quote from IamSposta >>

Granted, your name is “Boops” now.

I wish my wife’s cat would stop pissing outside of her liter box.

 the cat now pisses only pisses within your wifes litter box, only your wife persumably does not have a litter box so it proceeds to default to "everything" being set as your wifes default litterbox, so absolutely nothing changes and depending on how the rules of this forum game goes you might need to spend weeks figuring out why your wish did not work

Quote from GoogiddyBop >>

granted but now she always poops outside it instead

I wish this wish and my next wish cannot be tampered with or changed and is exactly how I want it.

And you do not get to say what my next wish is and I have my spell components and eyes, hands, and a mouth and I am alive.

dammit i did it again, luckily this time the person who came first who i did not see actiually made an wish while i spent minutes perverting the existing wish so nothing changes i guess

i answered the wish

Quote from ArtificeMeal >>

Quote from IamSposta >>

Granted, your name is “Boops” now.

I wish my wife’s cat would stop pissing outside of her liter box.

 the cat now pisses only pisses within your wifes litter box, only your wife persumably does not have a litter box so it proceeds to default to "everything" being set as your wifes default litterbox, so absolutely nothing changes and depending on how the rules of this forum game goes you might need to spend weeks figuring out why your wish did not work

Granted, you are also now a fish. 🐠

I wish my wife’s cat would stop pooping, peeing, and vomiting outside of her litter box. 

granted, her litter box is now your face

I wish this wish and my next wish cannot be tampered with or changed or denied and is exactly how I want it.

And you do not get to say what my next wish is and I have my spell components and eyes, hands, and a mouth and I am alive and a human.

Granted, except you are now only 1 month old.

I wish someone would give me a homemade, fresh from the oven, 100% organic, not poisoned, hot, delicious pizza that nothing bad ever happened to it, for free.

The pizza is actually a piece of cardboard that looks and tastes like a pizza.

I wish my cat actually liked me 

Granted, you look like your cat.

I wish healing magic were real.

It is, it’s called a shot.

I wish I had a dog

granted but everyone who had it was assassinated

I wish this wish and my next wish cannot be tampered with or changed or denied and is exactly how I want it.

And you do not get to say what my next wish is and I have my spell components and eyes, hands, and a mouth and I am alive and a human and between the ages of 10 and 40.

Granted, except you have every disease and can’t use cure wounds and die.

I wish my dog didn’t assassinate people  

Granted, it just murders people instead.

I wish I could cast Eldritch Blast through the hood of my car to blast traffic off the road in front of me.

Granted, you are then arrested for mass murder.

I wish for Hoard of the Dragon Queen to have been written better.

Granted, but it not only tears the engine out of your car and blasts the traffic off the roadway, it also obliterates the road surface resulting in difficult terrain.  All of which was caught on neighborhood security cameras leading to a nationwide manhunt.

I wish stores and restaurants in my town would open an hour earlier than they do for my convenience. 

It is so, except all the food is poisoned because you made the workers get up at 3 AM

I wish I had a rubber chicken than every time I squeeze it, a world explodes.

Granted, but the worlds that explode are exclusive to individual world views.

I wish for fresh, delectable, un-poisoned food before 8AM if I'm doing breakfast or needing to grab something before work...and before 11AM if I'm doing lunch.