It was three months after my wife and I said our “I Do's” that we were told that she would be in a wheelchair for the rest of her life. She was getting a surgery to help with chronic migraines and due to a complication she woke up and immediately said “Something is wrong, my legs don't work”.

It was life shattering for her because she lost more because of that than I ever could. You see, I had the benefit of growing up a really fat kid. I spent my time playing dungeons and dragons, video games, tabletop games, and generally avoiding any kind of physical activity. My 30 year old joints, much like my grandmothers couch wrapped in plastic, are basically brand new. My wife however was very active, a competitive swimmer, a registered nurse and loves being physically active. Its hard transitioning into any kind of disability or mobility issue. She was told that she could no longer do many of the things she loved doing. Plus the shame, and guilt and depression that accompany these things. On top of her new issues, I was dealing with my own problems with PTSD from work and being depressed and suicidal. We felt like we were lacking in our lives now. Missing the connection to the world you get from doing what makes you happy and sharing it with the people you love.

 In the midst of this I accidentally fell back into Dungeons & Dragons. I was in the bath trying to shut out the world and I opened a Critical Role video. It rekindled memories I had as a child playing with my friends and brothers. It started to bring me out of a very dark place. I watched more episodes and even created my own character to play along with as I watched the show. I rolled dice and made dialogue and dropped my character sheet in the bath more than once. But as silly as it sounds it brought me joy playing a game that I remembered loving as a kid. I hadn't felt joy doing anything I loved in a long, long time. Thursday became bath night and even my little Yorkshire terrier will sit herself in the bathroom by the tub on Thursday nights so she can keep me company as I watch and play along.

So as I got healthier I decided to introduce my wife to tabletop games and D&D and it was like watching a baby deer take its first steps. Her gaming experience was that she played some card games at family events once or twice a year. Showing her the big world of tabletop games and the options now available introduced her to a massive world that she had never peen a part of. She has even made a couple of her own D&D characters to play in our own home game we call Disabled and Dragons. And her characters kick some major butt.

We are living in an increasingly digital world. More and more of our interactions with people are via email and text messaging and we are losing our ability to interact face to face. I don't think we were ever designed to function this way and we are starving to fulfill this need for real human interaction. Sitting at a table and actually talking to a person instead of reading a text message is such a necessary part of being human. Its one of the reason why I think tabletop games and role-playing games have gotten more mainstream popularity over the last few years. A social solution to try and fill this need. Also the efforts of people proudly proclaiming their love of nerdy things, like Joe Manganiello (@JoeManganiello), Matt Mercer (@matthewmercer), Satine Phoenix (@satinephoenix), and even Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome), has also helped bring D&D more into the light. There is a human need for this kind of interaction. If you can, please check out these people and help support what they are doing.

For the disabled community dungeons and dragons and tabletop gaming create amazing opportunities that simply didn't exist 10 years ago. A disabled gamer is just as amazing and effective and awesome as a non-disabled gamer. We are equally vulnerable to becoming disable, as are our loves ones. Disabled doesn't always mean a wheelchair or a prosthetic leg. Any mobility issue, age, injury, illness, and even pregnancy all affect you physically. Taliesin Jaffe (@executivegoth)suffers from Essential Tremor and his d&d characters (Percy, Mollymauk and now Caduceus Clay) have been some of my favourite and most memorable to watch. Deborah Ann Woll's (@DeborahAnnWoll) husband E.J. Scott has choroideremia, a disease that leads to blindness. Jen Kretchmer (@dreamwisp) on D&D Beyond, who has Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, has been advocating for disabled gamers for a long time and it is such a caring and amazing thing to do for disabled people. Introducing people to a world they are welcome to be a part of and where we are all equal. It such a powerful thing to do for someone who may not always feel like an equal. My wife can be in a wheelchair and play an awesome game of Dungeons and Dragons. She can act and make voices and create a character backstory and throw criticals all day long. Her genasi ranger stands shoulder to shoulder on the front lines of the fight with my dwarven battlerager. They are equals and team mates kicking ass in the battle to better their lives. Much like in our real life. I honestly believe I rolled a Nat 20 in life when she agreed to marry me.

 Dungeons and Dragons isn't a miracle cure for disability or depression or mental health problems but for me and my wife it has been a part of much larger plan to get healthier. And I'm proud to admit that along with listening to my doctors and taking my medication and getting therapy, that playing Dungeons and Dragons is also something I do to get better. So I encourage everyone to take a chance and roll some dice. The life your "drow warlock" saves, could even be your own.

Hey Ajexton—

Jen Kretchmer here. This post moved me to tears.  Thank you so much for the kind words, and, indeed, I believe that TTRPGs can and should be the most welcoming, inclusive, and accessible space for anyone who wants to roll dice.

I am so, so thrilled for your wife that D&D and seeing other disabled gamers has been a healing experience. It’s true—for so many of us, this is a wonderful place to come and get to live lives of adventure and magic that are outside of our everyday experience. A place where we can connect, tell stories, and share the magic of being together with friends, taking on another identity, and exploring a fantastic world where the obstacles that society often places on disabled and other marginalized folx are either no existence or can be smashed with a sword and a spellbook.

I can’t express how much it means to me that you took the time to post this and share your family’s story. I’m honored, I’m humbled, and I’m thrilled that it’s been something that brings you both joy, connection, and healing.

Thank you again, and may your battlerager’s sword be bold and her ranger’s aim be true.

All the best,

Jen

A lovely sentiment, well written. Thanks for sharing.

I love this story so much.  It was absolutely heartbreaking but also full of Hope!  Thank you for sharing!

Hey Jen

Wow, thank you for your kind words. You filled my heart. Im happy to share a story if it helps to inspire people. Its always amazing when the people you appreciate get to hear it, and I do appreciate you. You are an angel and an inspiration and you do it all by being yourself. Keep it up darlin because you are doing great and you have a ranger and a battlerager ready to back you up no matter what dragon you are off to slay.

Cheers and love,

Aj.

Happy to have you both in the party, AJ. 💖

Schizophrenia has been hard on me, but I'm getting social with D&D and playing with a group of people you naturally grow closer to eachother.

I'm glad I have D&D to bridge the gap because otherwise....I can't drink, I don't work, and I don't have a lot of money to do much other then enjoy the internet and my dog. I hope yal continue to enjoy D&D together. Its certainly helped me.

@OrcLuck, I'm so glad that D&D had been helpful to you for social interaction and reducing your isolation! I know that there are now a number of therapists around the country doing therapeutic tabletop groups for just that reason, among others. I'm a huge believer in the therapeutic value of gaming for all sorts of folx, and I'm thrilled that out had made such a.positive impact on your life!

Wishing you many Nat 20s and good health, both of the mental and physical varieties!

Best,

Jen 😊