Hey guys so I am currently DM'ing for my group using a premade adventure. It has been a blast so far and I am starting to work on my first ever custom campaign. I have written down a bit of brainstorming as far as the setting of the campaign and the very basic plot points/overall goal/quest. I was wondering if anyone wanted to take a minute to read the notes and let me know the strengths and weaknesses and how I could improve it. This is just quick brainstorming and nothing complete yet so I apologize for any spelling/grammar errors:

PILLARS OF SAND
Setting:
Desert:
Land is riddled with oasis.
"Silk Road" that connects all oasis and cities.
-Massive trade routes
-Highwaymen and bandits riddle the roads along with highed mercanaries and faction soldiers.
Gods are very important to the people, but which depends on location/caste/organization
This trianguler area is surrounded by a constant sand storm. Unpassable. Tie into the main plot/goal of the story is to find a way to lower this sandstorm. It has altered the weather and the day/night cycle.
Many have tried to travel through it but they either disappear into the storm and are never seen again or the swirling pellets of sand impact so hard that their bodies are torn apart before they can make it very far.
Three pillar factions/cities:

VAKOUR CITY
Vakour(strength pillar): Extremely selective, very blood/bloodline oriented. Believe strong bloodlines create the strongest warriors.
City description: Very Roman-esque in style. large black and red banners line the streets and the walls of the government buildings and military barracks/training grounds. Every aspect of the city as far as the merchants, homes, craftsman stores are used to supply the Vakour army with weapons, armor and supplies to train and mobilize whenever needed. All the civilians in this city have some tie to the warriors/soldiers. It is believed that the Vakour possess the fiercest military, the soldiers begin their training at the age of 4 when they enter the military training schools. There are no "regular" institutional schools, as these military schools not only train you in tactics and combat, but also in general fields of education as it is believed that being educated as well as trained is the key to their success. Slavery is outlawed as they believe that every man should have a chance to prove themselves and die in battle. Unfortunately, one cannot usually obtain a rank above Captain unless they have a blood line deemed worthy.
Breaking the law is usually met with either a swift death or a chance to fight and survive in the Arena. Many warriors choose to fight inside the arena as it is a great test of strength and willpower, the spoils of winning are gold and a chance to beat the champion and ascend their bloodline into prominence.
The streets are lined with blacksmiths working all day long to produce armor and weapons, food warehouses being loaded and unloaded from the surrounding farm land and trade routes among the region. Formations of marching soldiers patrol the coblestone streets all while maintaining and training in discpline.
The Vakour people and leadership despise slavery and believe every man should have a chance to prove themselves or die in battle. While they aren't out right enemies of Aurum, they secretly struggle in a cold war that could erupt in full blown mayhem at any moment.

CITY OF COMPASSION(LAWLESS CITY)

 Lawless city(Once was the pillar of compassion): The city has been plunged into chaos and infighting and has been claimed/taken over by smaller lawless factions. This is the hub of mercenaries, stolen/illegal goods fencing, slavery, spies, street thugs. Rumors that the Brotherhood of the black are headquartered here, but no one has ever seen a sworn member or where they are headquartered and lived to tell anyone. The regions caste of powerful people tend to employ this cities people to do the dirty jobs they dare not touch themselves.
This lawless city, once known as "The City of Compassion" was ruled by a democratic society that prospered in trade and agriculture. The city was once surrounded by watermelon and maze fields for as far as the eyes can see is now a barren waste land that is full of mud, garbage, remnants of a once thriving city, and the death that has since followed.
50 years ago for reasons unknown to the general populace, Aurum dispatched a group of powerful sorcerers from a distant land to dispatch an ancient poison that alters the brains of those effected. This poison corrupts the mind and makes it unable to forgive or feel compassion towards others. In this attack, there was no need for an army or for Aurum to ever leave the safety of their city. The people quickly turned on each other vying for money and power that this city's people never cared or needed. After a short period of time much of the cities population have been killed or died from starvation. Whats left have turned to illegal/dark means to obtain whats needed to survive or achieve their goals.
The city is now full of bottom of the barrel people and organizations that have since flooded its streets. There are many smaller clans or organizations of highwaymen, street thugs, mercenaries, spies and assassins. There are a few larger groups that make this city their home and they all either have a truce with certain other groups or they are constantly fighting for every alleyway and road they can scoop up into their territory. This city is a hub for the sale and trade of illegal goods and slaves. There is a lot of money and outside influence that used to run through this city as it is the first major stop along the "silk road" in this region. This often results in many caravans and travelers seeking other routes once getting to the regions border, which could arguably be even more dangerous.
Despite the seeming lawlessness of this city there are hints of hierarchy within the clans and many believe in fighting and killing is bad for business and tend to make alliances to preserve the flow of income.
The most mysterious rumor and group of people that is associated with this city is the Brotherhood of Black. No one outside the need to know realize what they do or who they are. The Brotherhood are the remnants of the the old leadership of the city of Compassion. They too were corrupted, but these people had more resources and had a higher understanding of how things worked and what they wanted to achieve. They quickly realized that they would have an easier time obtaining wealth and power if they did it from the shadows. Throughout the last 50 years they used their influence and cunning to worm their way into almost every facet of life in the region.
Depending on who you ask the common folk believe this group is a number of things: elite assassins tasked with only the hardest and most secret missions, a cult of followers that devote their lives to the service of the Dark Gods, some even believe the group has its hands in every aspect or inner circle in each city. But all these are baseless rumors, many created to drive normal people or prying eyes away from the City of Compassion. Some believe their headquarters are within the walls of the city, others believe the Brotherhood of Black make their home within the dunes of no man's land.

STEPPED CITY
 Aurum(pillar of ambition): Wealthiest people. Stepped City. Use/trade slaves. Most corrupt faction of them all. Often times the leaders/inner circle are assassinated in the endless struggle for power. But, none of these families have openly admitted to it and all act respective of each other in the public's eye.
The Stepped City radiates from a massive golden pyramid, that stands 1000 feet tall at the point, in the cities central district. This pyramid has been around since the dawn of the regions population millennia ago. Before the sand storm clouded the region in darkness when the sun reflected off the pyramid's golden sides the reflection could be seen for miles and miles. The pyramid is home to the cities government and the royal families that run the city. Each family has a large section of the pyramid as their familiar headquarters. This is where they run their day to day operations. The immediate area surrounding the pyramid is where the families main compounds/palaces are. Each family area has its own entrance into the pyramid. The palaces comprise of the living quarters for the family members, the top ranked guards of each family have their own smaller quarters so they have easy access in case of an emergency. Each family is also rumored to have a vault somewhere within their compound that house the generations of riches and secrets. Directly outside of that is where their guards and middle class are housed. The next layer is the trading district and where the city gates are that open up to the silk road. The biggest trading district in the region is steeped in goods from food, armor, weapons, exotic items and slaves from many different regions of the world. Slavery is their most profitable good and each family has many hundreds of slaves. The outside layer is where the poorest people live, it is also where each family houses their slaves and includes the cities prison. Each layer is lower than the one before it, being a direct representation of where each layers population sits, with the royal families being at the highest level as the pyramid and the poor and the slaves being at the lowest level. This design turns the entire city itself into a tiered pyramid with the Golden symbol of wealth sitting at its peak.
The royal familes each have a head member, tends to be the eldest member of the family, but in the last 50 years there have been many assassinations within the families and it is no longer always the oldest. The lead members make up the Council of Gold. This council meets on a regular basis to vote and decide on all major areas of governance. Living true to its name it is mainly focused on how the city and more importantly how the families can make more money and become even more powerful. The lesser aspects of government(in their eyes) are handled by younger or less experienced members of each family, with each position being filled by the voting of the Council of Gold or preestablished families having rights to a certain position. The later often is a source of violence and strife within the families.
Aurum will have a massive army, but the soldiers will be untrained slaves that are meant to just be thrown at whatever enemy. In order to maintain order of this army they use a similar dispersion method to the way they corrupted Compassion, but with a drug/spell that enslaves the mind. Downside is it requires monthly reapplication and extremely shortens the lifespan of the individuals. I do really want Aurm to be an evil/corrupt culture or society. Pretty on the outside as far as the pyramid, but if you delve into the secret dealings and the slavery that they do you can see how bad they are.

NO MAN'S LAND
Each city is located where one of the points would be on a triangle. With a roughly 1000 mile journey between each city, the area that makes up the inside triangle of the silk road between these cities is deemed as no man's land. Filled with small oasis villages, small bandit towns, trading stops, mercenary camps and ancient untouched ruins and tombs. This 1000 square mile area contains all sorts of dangerous people and people that have been driven out of the cities, escaped slaves, dangerous creatures and sites of ancient magical power.
Many believe that powerful relics are hidden in ancient vaults locked away below the dunes. This leads to many bands of treasure hunters and adventure's seeking fame and fortune. Some of these groups follow set rules that are laid out by their benefactors and others are filled with bandits and people that follow no laws.
Plot Ideas:
Not many of the common folk have put two and two together that the fall of the city of compassion could correlate to the possible of creation of the sand storm that is surrounding the region. The scholars and mystics of the region believe that one of the pillars of the Gods has fallen into chaos and corruption and is angering the ruling Gods. Is this just an old story made to scare people into following law and order or are the Gods truly angry with their creation. Another thought is that the God's are at war among themselves and the God's of darkness have gotten a step up on the righteous and just Gods.
Each of these cities represents a pillar of the gods. When one falls (compassion) the rest are not likely far behind.
Compassion has been steeped in chaos for almost 50 years. Many believe the appearence of this storm is the beginning of the end. The Gods gave the people a chance to try and fix things and turn their lifes around, but as a major flaw in humans/people the need to be on the top, to be the most powerful no matter the cost has taken its toll on the region and the common folk.
There are whispers of rewards, glory, and heroism to the one or group that can find the way to push this storm away and this is what attracts the members of the group to it.
There is a wealthy mysterious man who owns a dusky but large library on the out skirts of a decent size town near Aurum this man has reached out to each member of the party offering them his unknown wealth and estate if they can push back the storm and restore the lands to the former glory of the Gods.
Storm is brought upon these people because they have deviated from upholding the beliefs of the gods and this is their way of punishing the people.
Each city used to represent an admirable trait in a person in the eyes of the gods, ie the three pillars. Some examples would be strength, ambition, and compassion.
Only 2 of the pillar cities still stand with their original power structure, but all of them have become corrupt and in doing so have thrown the area into chaos/greed/poverty/violence.

Reminds me a bit of Amonkhet and just a little of Fiora. 

Bump in case anyone wants to add some ideas!

Quote from Killahkreep >>

Bump in case anyone wants to add some ideas!

Opps I'm sorry I didn't realize!  Won't happen again!

I like the triangle concept, and the diversity of city attributes, and the fall of compassion to set the stage for the current predicament of the two other cities soon to fall. 

A possible weakness in the cities could be stepped city where if your players break a law (ie get greedy and fail a sleight of hand check) then your whole session could get derailed bc they get A. murdered, or B. fight in an arena till they die or get broken out. I would look into a possible 'oath' or promise to do some dangerous fetch quest as payment for the actions of the convicted. Make some sort of spell that binds their word to a certain time frame. This would remove the possibility of a derailed session or dead pc. Then down the line punish them for not doing the mission they promised to do. 

I like the idea of having a no mans land with tons of monsters/bandits/who knows what else. I think the no mans land is a strength in your world build that potentially, has a lot of cool opportunities. Only way I could think to strengthen that more would be layering it like dantes inferno with each layer towards the center of the triangle being more difficult/ better treasure/ lore about the history of the world. Maybe even throw in a 'God pillar' in the center that could rejuvenate the other pillars that have fallen. 

Love the storm thats impassible. whenever possible, when the players see that, show someone who has given up on life running into the storm to escape reality. That would show them the storm is no joke, and that the cities are not a wholesome/loving place.

Good luck! 

I really like these ideas! I appreciate you taking the time. I didn't think about breaking laws in the Stepped City so I will for sure have to come up for a way for them to be able to work their way out of trouble if they find themselves in it. I like the spell idea.

I wanted to make the arena in Vakour be a way for the characters to be able to raise in prestige within the city in case they needed to find out info or gain access to the inner circle of the city. I have written a little bit more about the gods/patrons of each pillar city and a possible reasoning behind the corruption:

List of patrons to each city and possible reasoning behind the corruption:
1. City of Compassion:
Greater Deity: Chauntea, Goddess of Agriculture
Life/nature, neutral good
Symbol: Sheaf of Grain
2. Vakour:
Greater Deity: Tempus, God of War
War, Neutral
Symbol: Uprigth flaming sword
3. Aurum/Stepped City:
Greater Deity: Icarus Bontu, God of Ambition
Ambition(within reason), Pursuit of fullfilment/Neutral Good
Symbol: Sun with pyramid shaped triangle in the center

Icarus Bontu was the original deity patron of the Stepped City and the Aurum people, but secretly has succumbed to the will and patronage of Mammon.
Mammon, The Serpent(Lord of Greed)
Greed, Lawful Evil
Symbol: open pair of scaled, red hands above a diamond-shaped black gem
Mammon disciples are the source of the poison that was used to corrupt the City of Compassion. They are also responsible for the toxin used to control Aurum's army. The royal families have made a pact with Mammon to help him assert his dominance over the region in exchange for riches and power. Mammon himself is quick to trick those who believe in him and thus instills this onto his followers and worshipers. This is the reason why the royal families of Aurum, the last 50-75, have fought and back stabbed each other to gain more power.
Ever since Mammon's influenced has gained a foothold more and more of his traits and will have been forced upon those powerful Aurum royal families, with or against their will.
Disciples of Mammon:
Corrupted humanoid's. Still maintain their original body type/race identifiers but they will have signs of corruption physically and mentally.
Corruption level:
The lesser disciples will have a more drastic change to their physical appearance, while the higher ranking/more powerful will have more mental changes.
Physical changes:
The skin around their eyes, finger tips and mouth appear to be filed/flowing with a black substance.
Mental Changes:
Mammon instills his goals and admiration's of greed/power/gold upon his lieutenant's and above. lieutenant's+ are in those positions because they have something to offer Mammon and his ambitions. Could be power, access to inside circles, access to soldiers, wealthy, influential.
lieutenant's+ are very hard to find. Not something the advertures are going to be able to just walk into. People that could lieutenant's or higher:
1. Aurum royal family members
2. Brotherhood of the black members
3. Leadership within the different bandit/shady organizations within the lawless city
4. Mercanary leaders sent to stop the party

Those are great additions to the world. I especially like the attributes of the Disciples of mammon, I think I might add something like that in my campaign. 

Since compassion went down, does that mean agriculture is beginning to fail? Would your players see the onset of killing for food/starvation/outrageous food prices?

I think you have enough of a foundation to begin session 0. Nice world!

I used this for a little session with my family lol

Well its great could you name the religions and what they idk if you have bc i did not read through the whole thing