I recently started my first session with 3 of my friends. I really have enjoyed creating this story with them, but today they invited more people into the session without asking me. I've never really spoke to these people and I have some bad social issues so this may make our session awkward. I also really don't want to host a session with 7 people who have never played DnD talking over me. Does anyone have any advice?
An adventure you’ve written for three people is not going to work for 7 people.
tell your friends this.
and if they want to have 7 gamers, tell them they are welcome to run their own adventure, but your adventure only works with 3-4 players. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to cap the number of players. encounters, story line and just simple mechanics of taking turns in combat really struggle with more players. So you have very legitimate reasons to cap the number of players, regardless to whether you know the other players or not. I currently have 4 in the game I run, but would cap it at 5.
I know a group of good gamers who I’ve played with before, they’ve invited me back into their current campaign, but that meant 8 players and it was really hard to keep up with what everyone was doing. And that was with a bunch of experienced players.
so - just set a limit. And if they want more, they can run their own game.
If you issue is that your friends took it upon themselves to add to your game session without your concession, I might suggest addressing that with them directly and individually. Which, I understand might be a bit of a tough ask, depending on how you handle social confrontation. You need not be unkind, but you may need to be firm. I agree that your boundaries on what you are willing to allow may have been breached, and that requires that you respond appropriately. If you are absolutely against running for a larger group, then that stance might need to be broadcast and held to.
The piece that is maybe being ignored is that your friends enjoy the game you are running so much that they wanted to share that enjoyment with other friends.They had the confidence in your ability to run a game for more people. That might count for something.
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“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.” - Mark Twain - Innocents Abroad
That's too bad. It does sound like they might have done this because you make an enjoyable game. I run a small game in person and it would be hard to have more than 4 players so I agree with the other posters that you just have to tell them, respectfully, that the game is only open to the original group.
It's too bad the others couldn't be there to watch and learn the game but that's no good if it distracts you and they start side conversations with your players.
My final thought is if you put your foot down I hope your players don't get offended and it ruins the game. If, by chance, that happens it's totally not your fault.
I’m assuming ( initially) that this game is in person and not in a gaming shop. It’s perfectly legitimate to remind your friends that is not their place to invite folks without your prior permission - for personal, space, and comfort reasons as well as the problem of adding PCs to a preplanned adventure.
If this game IS in a gaming store ask the newcomers to watch and see and if they enjoyed and want to participate then, at the end, they can roll up characters and can join the next time after you’ve had a chance to properly prepare ( always remember the 7Ps of good DMing.)
You could make a comparison to a boardgame such as Monopoly - it works well with 4 players, but can't cope with 7 players. Other board games sometimes work best with less than the maximum players too.
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I recently started my first session with 3 of my friends. I really have enjoyed creating this story with them, but today they invited more people into the session without asking me. I've never really spoke to these people and I have some bad social issues so this may make our session awkward. I also really don't want to host a session with 7 people who have never played DnD talking over me. Does anyone have any advice?
An adventure you’ve written for three people is not going to work for 7 people.
tell your friends this.
and if they want to have 7 gamers, tell them they are welcome to run their own adventure, but your adventure only works with 3-4 players.
I don’t think it’s unreasonable to cap the number of players. encounters, story line and just simple mechanics of taking turns in combat really struggle with more players. So you have very legitimate reasons to cap the number of players, regardless to whether you know the other players or not. I currently have 4 in the game I run, but would cap it at 5.
I know a group of good gamers who I’ve played with before, they’ve invited me back into their current campaign, but that meant 8 players and it was really hard to keep up with what everyone was doing. And that was with a bunch of experienced players.
so - just set a limit. And if they want more, they can run their own game.
Tell them no.
If you issue is that your friends took it upon themselves to add to your game session without your concession, I might suggest addressing that with them directly and individually. Which, I understand might be a bit of a tough ask, depending on how you handle social confrontation. You need not be unkind, but you may need to be firm. I agree that your boundaries on what you are willing to allow may have been breached, and that requires that you respond appropriately. If you are absolutely against running for a larger group, then that stance might need to be broadcast and held to.
The piece that is maybe being ignored is that your friends enjoy the game you are running so much that they wanted to share that enjoyment with other friends.They had the confidence in your ability to run a game for more people. That might count for something.
“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.” - Mark Twain - Innocents Abroad
That's too bad. It does sound like they might have done this because you make an enjoyable game. I run a small game in person and it would be hard to have more than 4 players so I agree with the other posters that you just have to tell them, respectfully, that the game is only open to the original group.
It's too bad the others couldn't be there to watch and learn the game but that's no good if it distracts you and they start side conversations with your players.
My final thought is if you put your foot down I hope your players don't get offended and it ruins the game. If, by chance, that happens it's totally not your fault.
I’m assuming ( initially) that this game is in person and not in a gaming shop. It’s perfectly legitimate to remind your friends that is not their place to invite folks without your prior permission - for personal, space, and comfort reasons as well as the problem of adding PCs to a preplanned adventure.
If this game IS in a gaming store ask the newcomers to watch and see and if they enjoyed and want to participate then, at the end, they can roll up characters and can join the next time after you’ve had a chance to properly prepare ( always remember the 7Ps of good DMing.)
Wisea$$ DM and Player since 1979.
You could make a comparison to a boardgame such as Monopoly - it works well with 4 players, but can't cope with 7 players. Other board games sometimes work best with less than the maximum players too.