So my group runs with 3 dm me being one of them and we alter dm every week so that we can have breaks to get ready for the next meet up. Well, I invited one of my friends to join us and that just went horribly because on the first day he jokes about someone stutter when they speak and now they hate him so the group kicks him off the group and he keeps coming back because he wants to hang out with me. The other problem is that the other dm try to sort this out and from what she said he guilt tripped her and we had to end for that day after that ( I talked to him the next day and he said he didn't). So he keeps coming back so he can talk to me but the d&d group might disband if he does continue because they don't want this dilemma to continue.
Yeah, I think this has nothing to do with D&D, and everything to do with managing interpersonal relationships. Sounds like you've got yourself a good old fashioned drama triangle going. Person A (aggressor) upsets Person B (victim), Person C (rescuer) tries to resolve it, Person A now acts as the victim of Person C. Person A becomes victim, person C becomes aggressor, and now potentially you want to step in to the rescuer role. Nothing will resolve until you break that cycle.
The victim and aggressor need to sort it out between themselves, and if there's to be a third person involved, then that third person needs to be no more than a coach or at a pinch a mediator (mediator is still fraught with risk).
This is why new players are always on a trial basis. Some groups are more open, some are not. Some players are more abrasive, some are not. This is one of those cases where you, specifically, need to talk to this guy and be straight up with him. "Man... I'm not sure what's up with how you're acting around other people... but you've made yourself unwelcome there (here). Thanks for trying it out, but we'll find some other way to meet up and hang out." It's always awkward when someone you've known for a long time turns out to be toxic... whether it is to hide their embarrassment or awkwardness or whatever. Feel free to point out specific behavior... and expect them to deny they did that. On one hand, I hope you don't lose a friend over it, but on the other... I hope they realize how they were behaving and can make amends and apologize to your other friends. Regardless, one way or the other, you've got to be the one to pull the trigger on this one... even if it is painful.
So my group runs with 3 dm me being one of them and we alter dm every week so that we can have breaks to get ready for the next meet up. Well, I invited one of my friends to join us and that just went horribly because on the first day he jokes about someone stutter when they speak and now they hate him so the group kicks him off the group and he keeps coming back because he wants to hang out with me. The other problem is that the other dm try to sort this out and from what she said he guilt tripped her and we had to end for that day after that ( I talked to him the next day and he said he didn't). So he keeps coming back so he can talk to me but the d&d group might disband if he does continue because they don't want this dilemma to continue.
Yeah, I think this has nothing to do with D&D, and everything to do with managing interpersonal relationships. Sounds like you've got yourself a good old fashioned drama triangle going. Person A (aggressor) upsets Person B (victim), Person C (rescuer) tries to resolve it, Person A now acts as the victim of Person C. Person A becomes victim, person C becomes aggressor, and now potentially you want to step in to the rescuer role. Nothing will resolve until you break that cycle.
The victim and aggressor need to sort it out between themselves, and if there's to be a third person involved, then that third person needs to be no more than a coach or at a pinch a mediator (mediator is still fraught with risk).
This is why new players are always on a trial basis. Some groups are more open, some are not. Some players are more abrasive, some are not. This is one of those cases where you, specifically, need to talk to this guy and be straight up with him. "Man... I'm not sure what's up with how you're acting around other people... but you've made yourself unwelcome there (here). Thanks for trying it out, but we'll find some other way to meet up and hang out." It's always awkward when someone you've known for a long time turns out to be toxic... whether it is to hide their embarrassment or awkwardness or whatever. Feel free to point out specific behavior... and expect them to deny they did that. On one hand, I hope you don't lose a friend over it, but on the other... I hope they realize how they were behaving and can make amends and apologize to your other friends. Regardless, one way or the other, you've got to be the one to pull the trigger on this one... even if it is painful.