I’m a new DM (and new to D&D altogether) running Icewind Dale, but changing a great deal to make the story more interesting (hopefully). I introduced a subplot idea two sessions ago, but I’m worried that it might be a little mean to one of my players. She is also brand new to D&D and so far has been really quiet, but lately trying to get out of her shell, and I’m trying to give her more opportunities to develop her character and motivations. But I wonder if this idea I have is too mean. And even if not, I have other things that I’m struggling with as far as how to proceed with this plot line.
First, her backstory. She is a Tiefling Rogue with an urchin background, named Makaira. She was a street urchin in Waterdeep and survived by being something of an errand girl and information broker. She showed talent and promise, so that when she got older, she was hired by a secretive organization (the Zhentarim) to plant incriminating evidence on a mark. She wasn’t told, but was able to discover on her own, that the client was the mark’s own son, trying to gain control over his father’s estate without having to wait for his retirement. She was disgusted by this, so she instead planted the evidence on the client.
After this, the Zhentarim were embarrassed and wanted to make an example of her. They’ve been hunting her from city to city ever since. Having nowhere else to go, she ended up in Icewind Dale in hopes of finally escaping her hunters.
Fast forward to the party’s first arrival in Targos. They’re lvl 2 so I didn’t want to do the Mountain Climb yet, but they were doggedly looking for work and went straight to looking for the speaker to find it. Skath, the captain of the militia, acted as gatekeeper and refused the party audience. After several failed persuasion checks by other PC’s, our Teifling succeeded. Skath instructed her to wait for Naerth downstairs, where he would speak to her alone.
Naerth proposed that she assist him with ousting Oarus, speaker of Termalaine, with strong innuendo suggesting he knew exactly who she was and was offering her no retribution from him for her failure at Waterdeep in exchange. She refused, so he replied, “Just remember, secrets are fragile things. The world has a way of revealing them at the most inconvenient times. Well then, perhaps we shall see how fate guides you in your endeavors. Perhaps our paths shall cross again, under… different circumstances.”
Obviously he has to punish her somehow, but I think just sending an assassin after her is a little too out of character for him. Rather, he still wants her to do his bidding, and he’s going to harass her until she does. Rather, he is going to opt for sabotage. After her first long rest after this encounter, in a camp in the snow, the party awoke to find bootprints in the snow. I rolled a stealth check for Naerth’s agent and it was a nat20 (no lie) but he made no attempt to cover his tracks. His aim is intimidation. While he was there, he sabotaged her bow and left a small engraving of the symbol of the Zhentarim.
At this point, everything following hasn’t happened yet and is just how I’m planning to make the story go. I’m just not sure if I’m going too far.
At her next failed attack roll, the bow will snap, leaving her to rely on her shortsword alone. This alone might be mean enough, but I couldn’t help myself. After completing A Beautiful Mine, if the kobolds return to Termalaine, Janth’s ghost leaves Trex and possesses Oarus, who becomes completely compliant to Naerth’s wishes.
Naerth knows full well that Makaira had no intention of helping him, yet he still gets what he wants in Termalaine. Now he wants to twist the knife. He sends her a letter “thanking” her for coming to her senses, and the brilliant way in which she fulfilled her task. “Couldn’t have wished for a better outcome!” He also warns that should Oarus return to his normal, obstinate ways, it would jeopardize the newfound harmony between Naerth and Makaira, essentially daring her to reverse the possession, even going so far as to suggest how it could be done.
The last insult is that he has included with the letter, a gift of a bow, having heard that she lost hers recently to “misfortune”. The bow is given to Zhentarim agents who have done great service to the organization and is decorated with their symbol.
So now she has a couple choices. She can leave well enough alone and let Oarus remain Naerth’s puppet, she can undo Oarus’ possession incurring Naerth’s retribution, or she can confront Naerth directly somehow.
Am I going too far? Is this picking on her?
If not? How do I finish the plot? How could she deal with Naerth other than just killing him? And should she decide to keep the gift and not throw it in the nearest fire, what is special about it other than aesthetics? Should I tempt her to keep it by making it a magic weapon or something? I’m assuming she’ll be lvl 3-4 by then, but what sort of buffs would it give her? Maybe cursed, so that she can deal more damage but won’t receive the full effect of healing magic or something?
Without getting into the details of the plot. The issue is with trying to get her out of her shell. Maybe she’s just shy or not ready to participate much. Could be she never will be. Could be she will if you give her time. The important thing is not to force it on her. Let her decide if and when she wants to be more involved. Speaking as someone who’s introverted and a bit shy, pushing it on someone who doesn’t want it can just make them miserable and recede further. And really, none of us can say whether it’s too much. That’s going to depend on her, some people eat this kind of thing up, others would hate it. One detail did jump out at me. Sabotaging the bow. An adventurer’s life depends on their equipment. This is something she’ll maintain regularly. She’ll notice the damage.
Just a couple comments ... giving the character opportunities to role play is good. The player can decide how and how much they want to engage with it and as they get more comfortable they will engage more assuming that they like the game.
However, I don't think you want to force it. It appears that the character/player doesn't like the nefarious nature of the Zhentarim which is perfectly ok. The problem with your plot twist is that it can be perceived as an attempt by the DM (not the NPC) to force the character/player to act in a certain way that they don't want to act. i.e. Force them to engage with the Zhentarim when the player may not want to do so. You also have the issue of how the character could likely react to the new situation ...
Consider this from a character point of view - they fled to Ice Wind Dale to escape the reach of the Zhentarim. Why would the character even decide to stay in Ice Wind Dale at this point? They have been found and threatened by the Zhentarim. All the problems of Waterdeep are happening all over. There are lots of folks in Ice Wind Dale who can deal with their winter problems so WHY would this character decide to remain in Ice Wind Dale and not simply just flee again from the Zhentarim (wish the party goodbye and go) - maybe disappear in Neverwinter or head east towards the Inland Sea and Mulmaster and places where the Zhentarim might not have a large presence?
Also, from a backstory plot point of view, the switch in planting evidence may have been a bit of an embarrassment to the Zhents locally in Waterdeep but the character is a very low level peripherally associated with the Zhentarim. They may want the character caught and punished eventually but I'm not sure they would bother hunting her 1000 miles away in a backwater like Ice Wind Dale. The character just isn't that important. The local Zhentarim boss also wouldn't really care that much unless there was something convenient about making use of the character. I'd consider leaving the plot line at the broken bow for now. (Or even just stop at them leaving the Zhent mark on the bow as a reminder that the character might not be able to leave the Zhentarim but that, at least the local boss, isn't currently interested in pursuing some sort of revenge).
If you do want to pursue it then I wouldn't go into any detail in the note sent to the character. Perhaps just a "Thanks for changing your mind. Your assistance in changing Oarus' attitude is most appreciated, I'm not sure what changed to get him to leave politics but you folks are the only new thing in town these days." The party can then choose to follow up and figure out what has changed with Oarus or not as they wish.
One of the key aspects of DMing in my opinion is to NOT decide what will happen (or what you will make happen) but describe what IS happening in the world, its effects on the world that the character's and NPCs see, and let the players choose how the character's will interact with the developing story. Try to keep the world logical and react appropriately given the NPCs and the plot elements that are going on. It is also important to try to think of plot elements from the character perspective ... DMs know everything that is going on but the players only see a fraction of it. Try to resist the temptation to let them in on all the secrets because they are "cool". If you consider how a character could or should react to plot developments, you can sometimes figure out whether the plot idea you have is actually good or might cause an issue you don't want if the character reacts IN-character to the plot element.
I’m a new DM (and new to D&D altogether) running Icewind Dale, but changing a great deal to make the story more interesting (hopefully). I introduced a subplot idea two sessions ago, but I’m worried that it might be a little mean to one of my players. She is also brand new to D&D and so far has been really quiet, but lately trying to get out of her shell, and I’m trying to give her more opportunities to develop her character and motivations. But I wonder if this idea I have is too mean. And even if not, I have other things that I’m struggling with as far as how to proceed with this plot line.
First, her backstory. She is a Tiefling Rogue with an urchin background, named Makaira. She was a street urchin in Waterdeep and survived by being something of an errand girl and information broker. She showed talent and promise, so that when she got older, she was hired by a secretive organization (the Zhentarim) to plant incriminating evidence on a mark. She wasn’t told, but was able to discover on her own, that the client was the mark’s own son, trying to gain control over his father’s estate without having to wait for his retirement. She was disgusted by this, so she instead planted the evidence on the client.
After this, the Zhentarim were embarrassed and wanted to make an example of her. They’ve been hunting her from city to city ever since. Having nowhere else to go, she ended up in Icewind Dale in hopes of finally escaping her hunters.
Fast forward to the party’s first arrival in Targos. They’re lvl 2 so I didn’t want to do the Mountain Climb yet, but they were doggedly looking for work and went straight to looking for the speaker to find it. Skath, the captain of the militia, acted as gatekeeper and refused the party audience. After several failed persuasion checks by other PC’s, our Teifling succeeded. Skath instructed her to wait for Naerth downstairs, where he would speak to her alone.
Naerth proposed that she assist him with ousting Oarus, speaker of Termalaine, with strong innuendo suggesting he knew exactly who she was and was offering her no retribution from him for her failure at Waterdeep in exchange. She refused, so he replied, “Just remember, secrets are fragile things. The world has a way of revealing them at the most inconvenient times. Well then, perhaps we shall see how fate guides you in your endeavors. Perhaps our paths shall cross again, under… different circumstances.”
Obviously he has to punish her somehow, but I think just sending an assassin after her is a little too out of character for him. Rather, he still wants her to do his bidding, and he’s going to harass her until she does. Rather, he is going to opt for sabotage. After her first long rest after this encounter, in a camp in the snow, the party awoke to find bootprints in the snow. I rolled a stealth check for Naerth’s agent and it was a nat20 (no lie) but he made no attempt to cover his tracks. His aim is intimidation. While he was there, he sabotaged her bow and left a small engraving of the symbol of the Zhentarim.
At this point, everything following hasn’t happened yet and is just how I’m planning to make the story go. I’m just not sure if I’m going too far.
At her next failed attack roll, the bow will snap, leaving her to rely on her shortsword alone. This alone might be mean enough, but I couldn’t help myself. After completing A Beautiful Mine, if the kobolds return to Termalaine, Janth’s ghost leaves Trex and possesses Oarus, who becomes completely compliant to Naerth’s wishes.
Naerth knows full well that Makaira had no intention of helping him, yet he still gets what he wants in Termalaine. Now he wants to twist the knife. He sends her a letter “thanking” her for coming to her senses, and the brilliant way in which she fulfilled her task. “Couldn’t have wished for a better outcome!” He also warns that should Oarus return to his normal, obstinate ways, it would jeopardize the newfound harmony between Naerth and Makaira, essentially daring her to reverse the possession, even going so far as to suggest how it could be done.
The last insult is that he has included with the letter, a gift of a bow, having heard that she lost hers recently to “misfortune”. The bow is given to Zhentarim agents who have done great service to the organization and is decorated with their symbol.
So now she has a couple choices. She can leave well enough alone and let Oarus remain Naerth’s puppet, she can undo Oarus’ possession incurring Naerth’s retribution, or she can confront Naerth directly somehow.
Am I going too far? Is this picking on her?
If not? How do I finish the plot? How could she deal with Naerth other than just killing him? And should she decide to keep the gift and not throw it in the nearest fire, what is special about it other than aesthetics? Should I tempt her to keep it by making it a magic weapon or something? I’m assuming she’ll be lvl 3-4 by then, but what sort of buffs would it give her? Maybe cursed, so that she can deal more damage but won’t receive the full effect of healing magic or something?
Have I bitten off more than I can chew?
Without getting into the details of the plot. The issue is with trying to get her out of her shell. Maybe she’s just shy or not ready to participate much. Could be she never will be. Could be she will if you give her time. The important thing is not to force it on her. Let her decide if and when she wants to be more involved. Speaking as someone who’s introverted and a bit shy, pushing it on someone who doesn’t want it can just make them miserable and recede further. And really, none of us can say whether it’s too much. That’s going to depend on her, some people eat this kind of thing up, others would hate it.
One detail did jump out at me. Sabotaging the bow. An adventurer’s life depends on their equipment. This is something she’ll maintain regularly. She’ll notice the damage.
Just a couple comments ... giving the character opportunities to role play is good. The player can decide how and how much they want to engage with it and as they get more comfortable they will engage more assuming that they like the game.
However, I don't think you want to force it. It appears that the character/player doesn't like the nefarious nature of the Zhentarim which is perfectly ok. The problem with your plot twist is that it can be perceived as an attempt by the DM (not the NPC) to force the character/player to act in a certain way that they don't want to act. i.e. Force them to engage with the Zhentarim when the player may not want to do so. You also have the issue of how the character could likely react to the new situation ...
Consider this from a character point of view - they fled to Ice Wind Dale to escape the reach of the Zhentarim. Why would the character even decide to stay in Ice Wind Dale at this point? They have been found and threatened by the Zhentarim. All the problems of Waterdeep are happening all over. There are lots of folks in Ice Wind Dale who can deal with their winter problems so WHY would this character decide to remain in Ice Wind Dale and not simply just flee again from the Zhentarim (wish the party goodbye and go) - maybe disappear in Neverwinter or head east towards the Inland Sea and Mulmaster and places where the Zhentarim might not have a large presence?
Also, from a backstory plot point of view, the switch in planting evidence may have been a bit of an embarrassment to the Zhents locally in Waterdeep but the character is a very low level peripherally associated with the Zhentarim. They may want the character caught and punished eventually but I'm not sure they would bother hunting her 1000 miles away in a backwater like Ice Wind Dale. The character just isn't that important. The local Zhentarim boss also wouldn't really care that much unless there was something convenient about making use of the character. I'd consider leaving the plot line at the broken bow for now. (Or even just stop at them leaving the Zhent mark on the bow as a reminder that the character might not be able to leave the Zhentarim but that, at least the local boss, isn't currently interested in pursuing some sort of revenge).
If you do want to pursue it then I wouldn't go into any detail in the note sent to the character. Perhaps just a "Thanks for changing your mind. Your assistance in changing Oarus' attitude is most appreciated, I'm not sure what changed to get him to leave politics but you folks are the only new thing in town these days." The party can then choose to follow up and figure out what has changed with Oarus or not as they wish.
One of the key aspects of DMing in my opinion is to NOT decide what will happen (or what you will make happen) but describe what IS happening in the world, its effects on the world that the character's and NPCs see, and let the players choose how the character's will interact with the developing story. Try to keep the world logical and react appropriately given the NPCs and the plot elements that are going on. It is also important to try to think of plot elements from the character perspective ... DMs know everything that is going on but the players only see a fraction of it. Try to resist the temptation to let them in on all the secrets because they are "cool". If you consider how a character could or should react to plot developments, you can sometimes figure out whether the plot idea you have is actually good or might cause an issue you don't want if the character reacts IN-character to the plot element.