In the campaign I'm in right now, we're two sessions and about 12 game hours in. My character has reached 2 failed and 0 successful death saves, 1 roll away from death, THREE TIMES already. I really like him, but it's just not realistic at all that he'd stay part of the group. We're meeting again today and I've prepared a new character to take his place. So that's my solution for this specific situation: my character simply wasn't invested in the quest enough to stick around, so he isn't going to. But I'd like to keep playing, so I just made a new character and have a good reason for how he came to the quest and is joining in. Plus, he's a Kobold, who are known for their strong pack-bonding intuition.
Another option I've seen for increasing character (and player) bonding during the actual game is to adjust the rules for healing, so players are required to take a few days of downtime off throughout the adventure. At a short rest, you can use up to half of your total hit dice (if available) to heal, and get all of your short-rest-refilling features refilled. At a long rest, you can use up to all of your total hit dice (if available) to heal, and get all of your long-rest-refilling features refilled. This would include healing spells, of course. However, to refill your hit dice, you have to take a couple days off from heavy physical labor (i.e., adventuring). Require characters to take a tenday/week off from adventuring and do things in their downtime. Suddenly people get to know the NPCs in the town of their home base. They spend time training in new skill and tool proficiencies. They start crafting magic items. Etcetera. So yeah, they can still use spell slots to heal while adventuring if they run out of hit dice, but by taking time off to rest, they can use those spell slots for other things instead.
Okay - I've been part of several groups and have been a DM for about 4 years now. As a player and as a DM, I've never had a problem with groups bonding....EXCEPT one time. I was a player in a campaign and the problem was narrowed down explicitly to the DM of the game.
He had made the the world where every NPC hated the group, made the rules so that the players couldn't connect with the NPCs and if they tried he used trops to accuse the player of "sucking up" to the NPC; made it so the players were out for themselves and not in it together (his world revolved around the players building a means of income outside of adventuring); gave XP out of game for "good ideas"; let players insult other players because "hey, nobody trusts the rogue"; and numerous other reasons. My significant other was another player and and my character didn't have any reason to bond with them other than "go kill these ants for their mandibles"!
My character bonded only with one other character and that happened over ale and gambling. We made that happen - all the while the DM is giving XP to the character that went out killing ants by himself...out of game.
If they want to earn XP - only give it in game, for combat situations and RPGing with the group. You're setting yourself up for failure if you allow XP for everything under the sun outside of group dynamics.
LOL! Desperation. The group I'm describing is the group I'm currently in because of Covid restrictions. I'm desperate to make this group work because it's been hard finding a group. I googled for help dealing with a DM with these traits. I admit that I don't usually comment but it just so happened that it was the night we played and I was wired for answers to a problem that I couldn't get my finger on. Writing the above gave me a sounding board for approaching the DM. The group might not work out but it won't be because I didn't try to make it work, look for answers from others that might have had the same problem or get as many solutions from others that I can get. Cheers.
If the players were all too focused on the fights to really bond, the DM could, if he/she wanted, have them encounter a mysterious person who knew everything they'd gone through. This person could give a rather inspiring speech about how well the group worked as a unit, "When Gobbor was near death and the tide of battle was turning, Zaspar used her magic to heal him and the group was victorious!" Mention some incidents where the group DID work as a unit and as a result they succeeded. The speech could go so far as to mention that if the characters bonded and knew more of each other, that knowledge and bond would make them an even more fearful foe to face.
Our group tends to have a LOT of "side chatter" as they travel. With that in mind, our Tabaxi Wizard has started bonding well with the Kobold Rogue. The Aarakocra Ranger and the Kobold entered the campaign as friends and the Tiefling Paladin is simply noble and committed to any he adventures with by nature. Without doubt, having some good Rp-ers helps a TON. Might just need a bump to help them see that party bonding adds to the richness of the world and makes the adventure more fun. (That nervousness you actually feel when a comrade is close to death!)
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Talk to your Players.Talk to your DM. If more people used this advice, there would be 24.74% fewer threads on Tactics, Rules and DM discussions.
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In the campaign I'm in right now, we're two sessions and about 12 game hours in. My character has reached 2 failed and 0 successful death saves, 1 roll away from death, THREE TIMES already. I really like him, but it's just not realistic at all that he'd stay part of the group. We're meeting again today and I've prepared a new character to take his place. So that's my solution for this specific situation: my character simply wasn't invested in the quest enough to stick around, so he isn't going to. But I'd like to keep playing, so I just made a new character and have a good reason for how he came to the quest and is joining in. Plus, he's a Kobold, who are known for their strong pack-bonding intuition.
Another option I've seen for increasing character (and player) bonding during the actual game is to adjust the rules for healing, so players are required to take a few days of downtime off throughout the adventure. At a short rest, you can use up to half of your total hit dice (if available) to heal, and get all of your short-rest-refilling features refilled. At a long rest, you can use up to all of your total hit dice (if available) to heal, and get all of your long-rest-refilling features refilled. This would include healing spells, of course. However, to refill your hit dice, you have to take a couple days off from heavy physical labor (i.e., adventuring). Require characters to take a tenday/week off from adventuring and do things in their downtime. Suddenly people get to know the NPCs in the town of their home base. They spend time training in new skill and tool proficiencies. They start crafting magic items. Etcetera. So yeah, they can still use spell slots to heal while adventuring if they run out of hit dice, but by taking time off to rest, they can use those spell slots for other things instead.
Okay - I've been part of several groups and have been a DM for about 4 years now. As a player and as a DM, I've never had a problem with groups bonding....EXCEPT one time. I was a player in a campaign and the problem was narrowed down explicitly to the DM of the game.
He had made the the world where every NPC hated the group, made the rules so that the players couldn't connect with the NPCs and if they tried he used trops to accuse the player of "sucking up" to the NPC; made it so the players were out for themselves and not in it together (his world revolved around the players building a means of income outside of adventuring); gave XP out of game for "good ideas"; let players insult other players because "hey, nobody trusts the rogue"; and numerous other reasons. My significant other was another player and and my character didn't have any reason to bond with them other than "go kill these ants for their mandibles"!
My character bonded only with one other character and that happened over ale and gambling. We made that happen - all the while the DM is giving XP to the character that went out killing ants by himself...out of game.
If they want to earn XP - only give it in game, for combat situations and RPGing with the group. You're setting yourself up for failure if you allow XP for everything under the sun outside of group dynamics.
...how did you find this thread after over a year?
LOL! Desperation. The group I'm describing is the group I'm currently in because of Covid restrictions. I'm desperate to make this group work because it's been hard finding a group. I googled for help dealing with a DM with these traits. I admit that I don't usually comment but it just so happened that it was the night we played and I was wired for answers to a problem that I couldn't get my finger on. Writing the above gave me a sounding board for approaching the DM. The group might not work out but it won't be because I didn't try to make it work, look for answers from others that might have had the same problem or get as many solutions from others that I can get. Cheers.
If the players were all too focused on the fights to really bond, the DM could, if he/she wanted, have them encounter a mysterious person who knew everything they'd gone through. This person could give a rather inspiring speech about how well the group worked as a unit, "When Gobbor was near death and the tide of battle was turning, Zaspar used her magic to heal him and the group was victorious!" Mention some incidents where the group DID work as a unit and as a result they succeeded. The speech could go so far as to mention that if the characters bonded and knew more of each other, that knowledge and bond would make them an even more fearful foe to face.
Our group tends to have a LOT of "side chatter" as they travel. With that in mind, our Tabaxi Wizard has started bonding well with the Kobold Rogue. The Aarakocra Ranger and the Kobold entered the campaign as friends and the Tiefling Paladin is simply noble and committed to any he adventures with by nature. Without doubt, having some good Rp-ers helps a TON. Might just need a bump to help them see that party bonding adds to the richness of the world and makes the adventure more fun. (That nervousness you actually feel when a comrade is close to death!)
Talk to your Players. Talk to your DM. If more people used this advice, there would be 24.74% fewer threads on Tactics, Rules and DM discussions.