I hear you. There are oodles of game systems out there I'd love to play, and have never been able to find an interested group - a lot of the classic World of Darkness systems, especially Mage or Wraith.
Disclaimer: This signature is a badge of membership in the Forum Loudmouth Club. We are all friends. We are not attacking each other. We are engaging in spirited, friendly debate with one another. We may get snarky, but these are not attacks. Thank you for not reporting us.
I'm from the US, and I've been DM'ing off and on for probably seven or eight years now.
How old you might be ( within a decade or two )? Late 20's.
How many Campaigns are you involved in? I run two and play in one, though I think I might leave the one I'm playing in as it rarely meets and is just a weird schedule bloat for me at this point. It is worth noting that only one of the games (one I run) is D&D. The other two, one as a player and one as a DM, are both Degenesis, which is an entirely different system.
How many of those are you involved in as a GM vs. as a Player? See above.
How often does that group get together to play? Two groups are weekly, one is irregular but scheduled weekly.
Do you play online ( Discord, Google Hangouts, Roll20, Fantasy Ground, etc ), or in person? Two are Discord, theater of the mind. The other is Discord with Astral for the VTT.
How long do your sessions typically run? Both the Degenesis games are usually around two hours, partly because of schedule things with players. My D&D game is targeted to run three hours but we often run longer without complaint.
How stable are those groups? Are they run a Campaign of 6-12 months and then the group shuffles and finds new Players? Have you been running with the same Players for 30 years? Each group is different.
The Degenesis group I play in is a group of mostly randos but my brother is the GM and the campaign has been around for about ten months. I don't think it will last much longer because it seems like more and more sessions are getting cancelled because of schedule conflicts.
The Degenesis game I run is an old group of college friends that have played for the last five years now, starting with a D&D 5e game that I ran, then a D&D 5e game that two of the players co-ran, then a D&D 5e game run by a DM who is no longer part of the group who almost killed the group with some of the issues with the campaign running concurrently with a longer lasting Mutants and Masterminds game that was much better. At one point, though I don't remember when, we did a concurrent Degenesis game that I ran three or four years ago (actually, two of them). When I was in school, we had semester long campaigns (so 4.5 months roughly) and sometimes stretched those across two semesters, though often with a midpoint break or story transition. Since then, we play more intermittently but during the pandemic we've been pretty regular. We also played a brief stint of Shadowrun somewhere in there but even though I DM'ed it I have absolutely no memory of it (somehow), though I know it happened because the players will independently bring it up and I got a bunch of the rule books so it makes sense... We're not so much connected by a single campaign as much as we do random games together. I don't think this Degenesis campaign will last forever (it's not as fluid with progression or as forgiving with character death as D&D, so between those two not only do characters get kind of stale but they also tend to die just as soon as they have any meaningful non-gameplay progression) but it's a fun sideshow and will probably last several months until we try something else, either 5e or another TTRPG, though once the pandemic ends people might have rougher schedules.
The D&D group I'm running is an online group that isn't randoms but I'm new in the group so basically I'm the rando, but we've been playing for about two months. We keep adding players, though they're all related in some way to one player or another, whether from another campaign or real life friends or whatever.
I like doing TTRPGs two or three times a week. I would ideally like to play in at least one group at a time, but I don't mind DM'ing, I just think it's harder to DM well if you're never in the perspective of a player. My Tuesday and Thursday groups meet reliably, with a few scheduling conflicts from time to time, and, well, my Sunday group is the one that always cancels.
I hear you. There are oodles of game systems out there I'd love to play, and have never been able to find an interested group - a lot of the classic World of Darkness systems, especially Mage or Wraith.
Yeah, I've only really found reliable online groups for D&D, and that's because dndbeyond offers pretty solid LFG stuff through the Discord server and here on the forums. A lot of other places just don't have the player count to find groups reliably. I know they must be out there, but I don't seem to find them most of the time. I have converted some of my friends from an old D&D group into a "Let's play TTRPGs, whether or not they're D&D" group, but we don't meet as much anymore anyway.
Yes I miss the old days of having a bunch of friends in high school with no actual lives or commitments to worry about and we could just get together every weekend and play whatever RPG struck our fancy. Now everyone has families, lives, jobs... not so much time for RPGs.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
Yes I miss the old days of having a bunch of friends in high school with no actual lives or commitments to worry about and we could just get together every weekend and play whatever RPG struck our fancy. Now everyone has families, lives, jobs... not so much time for RPGs.
That was my attitude as well - but after reading this thread, there seem to be a hefty cadre of DMs in their 30s to 50s who are running multiple weekly Campaigns.
Disclaimer: This signature is a badge of membership in the Forum Loudmouth Club. We are all friends. We are not attacking each other. We are engaging in spirited, friendly debate with one another. We may get snarky, but these are not attacks. Thank you for not reporting us.
Yes I miss the old days of having a bunch of friends in high school with no actual lives or commitments to worry about and we could just get together every weekend and play whatever RPG struck our fancy. Now everyone has families, lives, jobs... not so much time for RPGs.
That was my attitude as well - but after reading this thread, there seem to be a hefty cadre of DMs in their 30s to 50s who are running multiple weekly Campaigns.
Might just a question of prioritization?
This. My saturday game group has been playing together for just about 17 years. Almost religiously once a week the whole time. Whenever one of us needs to shift a day permanently the others try to do the same. It really is just whether you prioritize your gaming or not. I do, so I am able to make time after work for short sessions of other campaigns. When I started DMing it was a homebrew game system a friend built and the world, monsters, skills, classes, everything was homebrew. Built from scratch. After about 12 years of gaming like that working on a D&D campaign is like a vacation.
It's doable, you just have to want it and find others who do as well.
everything is about priorities. if you want something you'll make it work. groups that always have too shift their times around for example. they don't have their priorities aimed towards the game. especially when you make it months in advance clear when the sessions are planned. everything else the players can make plans for around that session. If they don't it just shows how low DND is their priority. Nothing wrong with it. Just don't complain about it like a little ***** as many do. I got tons of other things i like doing. so DND has a lower priority to once every other week at most. It could be done 4-5 hours daily, but that would mean I can't do other things I enjoy as well. And focusing on just 1 hobby isn't healthy either. Really simple.
That's another interesting facet that we hadn't been discussing: what's the demographic breakdown of your Players?
Until this last group I'd always played with people roughly my own age. This last group was more demographically diverse - from early 20s up to 60-something.
Group 1 (6 people - online): All male in low to mid 30's.
Group 2 (5 people - online): 2 female & 3 male - oldest is 43 and the youngest is 29.
Group 3 (8 people - was face-to-face): 2 female, 5 male & 1 gender fluid - oldest is 36, youngest late 20's.
Those numbers include me.
Oldest person I've played with was mid 60's (used to play regularly together) and I think the youngest was 11/12 (accompanied by her dad).
I'm just curious how many of us run the stereotypical 4-5 people around the table on Thursday nights for 3 hours, 2-3 sessions a month kind of game - and how many of us are running much much more than that. Ideally, I want 5-7 people around the table once a week; and two of those games per week. That way I always get a chance to play in one -- especially if I am running. Covid had disrupted a lot, but fortunately not everything.
My ideal group size is also 5+ players with 3-4 hour sessions. If it's an online group, then I'd say 5-6 players and if it's a face-to-face group then 6-8 players.
I find that it's easier to manage the larger groups when they're physically around a table with you than it is online. When you've got a large group online it's easier for people to talk over each other and get distracted, however if they're all around a table, I find that the players tend to be more aware of when they're drowning each other out and are more attentive to what's happening.
I like my games to be weekly if the group is available on a regular day, however sometimes due to life and work some groups can only do every other week.
That was my attitude as well - but after reading this thread, there seem to be a hefty cadre of DMs in their 30s to 50s who are running multiple weekly Campaigns.
Might just a question of prioritization?
Maybe.
The people I know all have kids and families and those come first. Most of them have significant others who are not necessarily willing to spare them for 4 hours every Saturday, which is prime weekend "do things with your family" night and so on. Heck, the person who got our campaign started has missed most of the sessions due to family and we play online. He can't even get away from the little ones to his basement for 4 hours every other week, let alone driving over to my house which is 20 minutes away and physically being away from home for 4 hours + commute time.
Now I'm not complaining. His little ones come first. But this also means that for many people, it's hard to carve out a regular night on a weekly basis to do something recreation that's not about the kids.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
Ironically - since I don't have a game running right now - I don't have kids, my close family is somewhat distributed ( in some cases on a different continent ), and my wife is one of my Players ( so no issues with colliding with "family time" ), so I guess I have an easier time with prioritization than most people in my age bracket. I guess I only have myself to blame if I don't have a game - or even multiples - up and running.
Disclaimer: This signature is a badge of membership in the Forum Loudmouth Club. We are all friends. We are not attacking each other. We are engaging in spirited, friendly debate with one another. We may get snarky, but these are not attacks. Thank you for not reporting us.
Ironically - since I don't have a game running right now - I don't have kids, my close family is somewhat distributed ( in some cases on a different continent ), and my wife is one of my Players ( so no issues with colliding with "family time" ), so I guess I have an easier time with prioritization than most people in my age bracket.
Yes, you would be more the exception than the rule.
In my group, 2 of us are single - no spouse, no kids - and one is married but has no kids, and we only play every other week, so his S.O. is OK with him taking up 1/14th of their evenings playing D&D, I guess. The last one, who actually has kids and family and a non-gamer wife, is the one who can rarely make it. Now an N of 4 can't establish a pattern but...
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
How many of those are you involved in as a GM vs. as a Player?
I GM two and am just a player in the other two.
How often does that group get together to play?
All four are weekly.
Do you play online ( Discord, Google Hangouts, Roll20, Fantasy Ground, etc ), or in person?
Online through Discord, roll20, and Astral.
How long do your sessions typically run?
When I GM, 3-4 hours, otherwise 2-3.
How stable are those groups? Are they run a Campaign of 6-12 months and then the group shuffles and finds new Players? Have you been running with the same Players for 30 years?
One of the groups I GM for is pretty new, none of the players has much experience with D&D.
The other three groups are mostly all the same people, with one or maybe two players in each game who isn't in the other two (my own style and preferences mean that I have fewer players in the remaining game that I run, but even then, one of my four players also plays in the other two games, and another plays in one and GMs the other). My own game here is D&D, and we've been playing for about two years and just hit 6th level. The other two are stable in terms of group makeup, but we usually play shorter adventures that last a couple months and then try a different game. So far, we've done the old Star Wars d6 game, the Expanse, Legend of the 5 Rings, Cyberpunk 2020, Pathfinder, and Lancer (the current games are the Expanse and Lancer).
Four games a week?! That sounds both wonderful and exhausting all at the same time.
And only one of them is the product of all the extra time the pandemic has given us! I think I'd be legit happy with a game every night, at least until I get a new job :/
The people I know all have kids and families and those come first. Most of them have significant others who are not necessarily willing to spare them for 4 hours every Saturday, which is prime weekend "do things with your family" night and so on.
I absolutely agree that family should come first. I am very lucky that my husband and I have always loved to game together. Now, two of our games are the one he runs for family and one that is for my closest friend and her kids (plus a cousin and now the boy friend of the oldest non-adult player).
Games for younger players tend to have a very different style and flavor, but I love them. I believe that gaming together is an excellent family-time activity.
Games for younger players tend to have a very different style and flavor, but I love them. I believe that gaming together is an excellent family-time activity.
I wish I had the patience to run for younger Players, but I'm more likely to tell them to get off my lawn :p
I think there are definitely broad strokes of stylistic tendencies within Players, based on age cohort. Children, young teens, older teens, early 20s, and 25+ all seem to have different approaches to the game.
I think that if I could hand pick my next set of Players with infinite precision, I'd love to set up a game for 4-5 novice Players, 25+ , who are very interested in learning D&D, and who can reliably commit to a regular game schedule. And while I'm making unrealistic wishes, they should all have their own unicorns :p
Disclaimer: This signature is a badge of membership in the Forum Loudmouth Club. We are all friends. We are not attacking each other. We are engaging in spirited, friendly debate with one another. We may get snarky, but these are not attacks. Thank you for not reporting us.
Family comes first. However within the family you should still be able to work together and create moments where each one can do their own thing. Thankfully my gf and I work well together as a team. Especially useful since we have a baby girl. Still there are times that my gf goes to spend an entire day with her friends. And every other saturday I get to spend an entire day with my friends. Without any interruptions. I'm sure that a partner can take care of a child all by themselves for a single day. Not everything has to be a "family" thing. I'd go insane with that. People need their own things as well.
I barely have the patience to deal with ADHD people at my table. Let alone dealing with a kid. They can't sit still by nature until they've grown up a bit. Should my girl want to be a part of my hobbies. Then I'll introduce her to them. However she'll have to find her own group of friends in due time.
Don't see how Vedexent's last paragraph is a wish. That's pretty much my current table. None of them played DND before. They saw Mark Hulmes on Youtube run a campaign and wanted to try that out. And despite their jobs and other issues. Committing to a regular schedule isn't difficult if they're truly interested. Once again coming back to priorities. If DND is a high enough and interesting priority. Then they'll schedule all their other events and things around that saturday instead of during it. Knowing a regular rythm of every other saturday with the same time. Means they know months in advance when a session happens as long as there are at least 3 players present. If they start planning other events during those saturdays on regular occasion. It just means they don't really care for DND and after the third time I boot them. Making space for another player that does want to play. So far I haven't had to boot anyone. The two people that left had to do so during longer term private events that were far out of their control.
How old you might be ( within a decade or two )? Early-mid fourth decade.
How many Campaigns are you involved in? Three.
How many of those are you involved in as a GM vs. as a Player? DM 1 out of 3
How often does that group get together to play? Twice weekly (I DM the regular weekly game and the second game is a short arc that the others trade off DMing)
Do you play online ( Discord, Google Hangouts, Roll20, Fantasy Ground, etc ), or in person? Discord & Roll20
How long do your sessions typically run? 3-4 hours
How stable are those groups? Are they run a Campaign of 6-12 months and then the group shuffles and finds new Players? Have you been running with the same Players for 30 years? After a hiatus we've been 100% solid for only a few months, but the majority of the group has played together for at least 5 years. A couple of us started playing Cyberpunk 2020 and AD&D in 1989 and we even published our own RPG together.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
To post a comment, please login or register a new account.
I hear you. There are oodles of game systems out there I'd love to play, and have never been able to find an interested group - a lot of the classic World of Darkness systems, especially Mage or Wraith.
My DM Philosophy, as summed up by other people: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1rN5w4-azTq3Kbn0Yvk9nfqQhwQ1R5by1/view
Disclaimer: This signature is a badge of membership in the Forum Loudmouth Club. We are all friends. We are not attacking each other. We are engaging in spirited, friendly debate with one another. We may get snarky, but these are not attacks. Thank you for not reporting us.
I'm from the US, and I've been DM'ing off and on for probably seven or eight years now.
The Degenesis group I play in is a group of mostly randos but my brother is the GM and the campaign has been around for about ten months. I don't think it will last much longer because it seems like more and more sessions are getting cancelled because of schedule conflicts.
The Degenesis game I run is an old group of college friends that have played for the last five years now, starting with a D&D 5e game that I ran, then a D&D 5e game that two of the players co-ran, then a D&D 5e game run by a DM who is no longer part of the group who almost killed the group with some of the issues with the campaign running concurrently with a longer lasting Mutants and Masterminds game that was much better. At one point, though I don't remember when, we did a concurrent Degenesis game that I ran three or four years ago (actually, two of them). When I was in school, we had semester long campaigns (so 4.5 months roughly) and sometimes stretched those across two semesters, though often with a midpoint break or story transition. Since then, we play more intermittently but during the pandemic we've been pretty regular. We also played a brief stint of Shadowrun somewhere in there but even though I DM'ed it I have absolutely no memory of it (somehow), though I know it happened because the players will independently bring it up and I got a bunch of the rule books so it makes sense... We're not so much connected by a single campaign as much as we do random games together. I don't think this Degenesis campaign will last forever (it's not as fluid with progression or as forgiving with character death as D&D, so between those two not only do characters get kind of stale but they also tend to die just as soon as they have any meaningful non-gameplay progression) but it's a fun sideshow and will probably last several months until we try something else, either 5e or another TTRPG, though once the pandemic ends people might have rougher schedules.
The D&D group I'm running is an online group that isn't randoms but I'm new in the group so basically I'm the rando, but we've been playing for about two months. We keep adding players, though they're all related in some way to one player or another, whether from another campaign or real life friends or whatever.
I like doing TTRPGs two or three times a week. I would ideally like to play in at least one group at a time, but I don't mind DM'ing, I just think it's harder to DM well if you're never in the perspective of a player. My Tuesday and Thursday groups meet reliably, with a few scheduling conflicts from time to time, and, well, my Sunday group is the one that always cancels.
Yeah, I've only really found reliable online groups for D&D, and that's because dndbeyond offers pretty solid LFG stuff through the Discord server and here on the forums. A lot of other places just don't have the player count to find groups reliably. I know they must be out there, but I don't seem to find them most of the time. I have converted some of my friends from an old D&D group into a "Let's play TTRPGs, whether or not they're D&D" group, but we don't meet as much anymore anyway.
Yes I miss the old days of having a bunch of friends in high school with no actual lives or commitments to worry about and we could just get together every weekend and play whatever RPG struck our fancy. Now everyone has families, lives, jobs... not so much time for RPGs.
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
That was my attitude as well - but after reading this thread, there seem to be a hefty cadre of DMs in their 30s to 50s who are running multiple weekly Campaigns.
Might just a question of prioritization?
My DM Philosophy, as summed up by other people: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1rN5w4-azTq3Kbn0Yvk9nfqQhwQ1R5by1/view
Disclaimer: This signature is a badge of membership in the Forum Loudmouth Club. We are all friends. We are not attacking each other. We are engaging in spirited, friendly debate with one another. We may get snarky, but these are not attacks. Thank you for not reporting us.
This. My saturday game group has been playing together for just about 17 years. Almost religiously once a week the whole time. Whenever one of us needs to shift a day permanently the others try to do the same. It really is just whether you prioritize your gaming or not. I do, so I am able to make time after work for short sessions of other campaigns. When I started DMing it was a homebrew game system a friend built and the world, monsters, skills, classes, everything was homebrew. Built from scratch. After about 12 years of gaming like that working on a D&D campaign is like a vacation.
It's doable, you just have to want it and find others who do as well.
everything is about priorities. if you want something you'll make it work. groups that always have too shift their times around for example. they don't have their priorities aimed towards the game. especially when you make it months in advance clear when the sessions are planned. everything else the players can make plans for around that session. If they don't it just shows how low DND is their priority. Nothing wrong with it. Just don't complain about it like a little ***** as many do. I got tons of other things i like doing. so DND has a lower priority to once every other week at most. It could be done 4-5 hours daily, but that would mean I can't do other things I enjoy as well. And focusing on just 1 hobby isn't healthy either. Really simple.
Group 1 (6 people - online): All male in low to mid 30's.
Group 2 (5 people - online): 2 female & 3 male - oldest is 43 and the youngest is 29.
Group 3 (8 people - was face-to-face): 2 female, 5 male & 1 gender fluid - oldest is 36, youngest late 20's.
Those numbers include me.
Oldest person I've played with was mid 60's (used to play regularly together) and I think the youngest was 11/12 (accompanied by her dad).
My ideal group size is also 5+ players with 3-4 hour sessions. If it's an online group, then I'd say 5-6 players and if it's a face-to-face group then 6-8 players.
I find that it's easier to manage the larger groups when they're physically around a table with you than it is online. When you've got a large group online it's easier for people to talk over each other and get distracted, however if they're all around a table, I find that the players tend to be more aware of when they're drowning each other out and are more attentive to what's happening.
I like my games to be weekly if the group is available on a regular day, however sometimes due to life and work some groups can only do every other week.
Maybe.
The people I know all have kids and families and those come first. Most of them have significant others who are not necessarily willing to spare them for 4 hours every Saturday, which is prime weekend "do things with your family" night and so on. Heck, the person who got our campaign started has missed most of the sessions due to family and we play online. He can't even get away from the little ones to his basement for 4 hours every other week, let alone driving over to my house which is 20 minutes away and physically being away from home for 4 hours + commute time.
Now I'm not complaining. His little ones come first. But this also means that for many people, it's hard to carve out a regular night on a weekly basis to do something recreation that's not about the kids.
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
Ironically - since I don't have a game running right now - I don't have kids, my close family is somewhat distributed ( in some cases on a different continent ), and my wife is one of my Players ( so no issues with colliding with "family time" ), so I guess I have an easier time with prioritization than most people in my age bracket. I guess I only have myself to blame if I don't have a game - or even multiples - up and running.
My DM Philosophy, as summed up by other people: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1rN5w4-azTq3Kbn0Yvk9nfqQhwQ1R5by1/view
Disclaimer: This signature is a badge of membership in the Forum Loudmouth Club. We are all friends. We are not attacking each other. We are engaging in spirited, friendly debate with one another. We may get snarky, but these are not attacks. Thank you for not reporting us.
Yes, you would be more the exception than the rule.
In my group, 2 of us are single - no spouse, no kids - and one is married but has no kids, and we only play every other week, so his S.O. is OK with him taking up 1/14th of their evenings playing D&D, I guess. The last one, who actually has kids and family and a non-gamer wife, is the one who can rarely make it. Now an N of 4 can't establish a pattern but...
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
30s.
Four.
I GM two and am just a player in the other two.
All four are weekly.
Online through Discord, roll20, and Astral.
When I GM, 3-4 hours, otherwise 2-3.
One of the groups I GM for is pretty new, none of the players has much experience with D&D.
The other three groups are mostly all the same people, with one or maybe two players in each game who isn't in the other two (my own style and preferences mean that I have fewer players in the remaining game that I run, but even then, one of my four players also plays in the other two games, and another plays in one and GMs the other). My own game here is D&D, and we've been playing for about two years and just hit 6th level. The other two are stable in terms of group makeup, but we usually play shorter adventures that last a couple months and then try a different game. So far, we've done the old Star Wars d6 game, the Expanse, Legend of the 5 Rings, Cyberpunk 2020, Pathfinder, and Lancer (the current games are the Expanse and Lancer).
Four games a week?! That sounds both wonderful and exhausting all at the same time.
And only one of them is the product of all the extra time the pandemic has given us! I think I'd be legit happy with a game every night, at least until I get a new job :/
I absolutely agree that family should come first. I am very lucky that my husband and I have always loved to game together. Now, two of our games are the one he runs for family and one that is for my closest friend and her kids (plus a cousin and now the boy friend of the oldest non-adult player).
Games for younger players tend to have a very different style and flavor, but I love them. I believe that gaming together is an excellent family-time activity.
I wish I had the patience to run for younger Players, but I'm more likely to tell them to get off my lawn :p
I think there are definitely broad strokes of stylistic tendencies within Players, based on age cohort. Children, young teens, older teens, early 20s, and 25+ all seem to have different approaches to the game.
I think that if I could hand pick my next set of Players with infinite precision, I'd love to set up a game for 4-5 novice Players, 25+ , who are very interested in learning D&D, and who can reliably commit to a regular game schedule. And while I'm making unrealistic wishes, they should all have their own unicorns :p
My DM Philosophy, as summed up by other people: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1rN5w4-azTq3Kbn0Yvk9nfqQhwQ1R5by1/view
Disclaimer: This signature is a badge of membership in the Forum Loudmouth Club. We are all friends. We are not attacking each other. We are engaging in spirited, friendly debate with one another. We may get snarky, but these are not attacks. Thank you for not reporting us.
Family comes first. However within the family you should still be able to work together and create moments where each one can do their own thing. Thankfully my gf and I work well together as a team. Especially useful since we have a baby girl. Still there are times that my gf goes to spend an entire day with her friends. And every other saturday I get to spend an entire day with my friends. Without any interruptions. I'm sure that a partner can take care of a child all by themselves for a single day. Not everything has to be a "family" thing. I'd go insane with that. People need their own things as well.
I barely have the patience to deal with ADHD people at my table. Let alone dealing with a kid. They can't sit still by nature until they've grown up a bit. Should my girl want to be a part of my hobbies. Then I'll introduce her to them. However she'll have to find her own group of friends in due time.
Don't see how Vedexent's last paragraph is a wish. That's pretty much my current table. None of them played DND before. They saw Mark Hulmes on Youtube run a campaign and wanted to try that out. And despite their jobs and other issues. Committing to a regular schedule isn't difficult if they're truly interested. Once again coming back to priorities. If DND is a high enough and interesting priority. Then they'll schedule all their other events and things around that saturday instead of during it. Knowing a regular rythm of every other saturday with the same time. Means they know months in advance when a session happens as long as there are at least 3 players present. If they start planning other events during those saturdays on regular occasion. It just means they don't really care for DND and after the third time I boot them. Making space for another player that does want to play. So far I haven't had to boot anyone. The two people that left had to do so during longer term private events that were far out of their control.