Welcome back! Last time I had made a poll of 19 races for the D&D Beyond community to choose for me to play. After 3 days of collecting votes, it is time for me to make a new poll. The options listed are the 5 most popular races from the previous poll. Feel free to drop a comment below, it'll help keep this poll in circulation.
I'm voting centaur just because it's a bit weird. I don't really see many centaur PCs being mentioned so I'm going with ponyman (or ponygirl, whichever).
I'm voting centaur just because it's a bit weird. I don't really see many centaur PCs being mentioned so I'm going with ponyman (or ponygirl, whichever).
The first time a friend of mine ever played D&D, for a one-shot, she created a drag queen centaur barbarian who got fierce instead of raging
Carric Aquissar, elven wannabe artist in his deconstructionist period (Archfey warlock) Lan Kidogo, mapach archaeologist and treasure hunter (Knowledge cleric) Mardan Ferres, elven private investigator obsessed with that one unsolved murder (Assassin rogue) Xhekhetiel, halfling survivor of a Betrayer Gods cult (Runechild sorcerer/fighter)
There are a lot of rules interactions that are fairly ridiculous one way or another when you think about them with centaurs.
The only penalty they have to any sort of movement is that when climbing in a way " that requires hands and feet" is done at 20% of their normal speed instead of 50% like other characters (they spend 5' of their move to climb 1' rather than the normal 2:1). That means they can climb ladders, just at a normal rate of eight feet per round or sixteen if they dash. Otherwise they can move anywhere a bipedal character can with no extra restrictions at all.
As medium creatures they occupy a single five foot square. That means they're only about five feet long, while they're described as averaging about four feet high at the withers (center of their forward shoulders) so that's about the height of their backs. Now I am by no means an equestrian expert, but a quick moment of ogling the gos spits out a bunch of numbers mostly between five and six feet (measured at the withers like the Centaur entry) for "average" height of common horse breeds and the only number readily available for typical horse length (which is apparently not a commonly referenced metric for whatever reason) is eight feet. So we're looking at a real life horse being about 140-160% longer than it is tall while our Centaurs are only about 120% longer than tall. Now I'm not sure if that eight feet is nose to butt or chest to butt. If it's measured to the nose then the body proportions are probably going to be more or less the same as a horse's neck and head stick forward far enough to make up the difference while a Centaur's humanoid torso just sticks straight up instead of forward. But if it's measured from the chest then these Centaurs are foing to look like they were in the middle of a five car pileup and got horizontally accordioned compared to a normal pony of similar height. Now while looking for information on horse width I just came across a note saying horse length is measured "the point of the shoulder to the point of the buttock" so the neck and head are definitely not included. Horizontal stubby horse bodies it is!
Then there's the humanoid torso part. I'm not sure exactly what the "average" width of a typical horse is because every go I ogle about that question just keeps telling me the average height. Seriously, click something that says "How wide is a horse" and it answers "Horse height typically averages between five and six feet." So no help there, but while I'm no horse expert I have spent some time in close proximity to horses and let me tell you them suckers got some girth to 'em. Their chests and shoulders, where a Centaur's humanoid torso begins, are significantly wider than those of an actual human. I would guess (again, I have no solid numbers handy and am going by recollections of the times I cared for a few horses belonging to family friends when they were out of town on vacation a few times) at least half as much wider than a average to large human male there (for reference of my personal perspective, I am a large man, significantly taller and broader of shoulder than average). Yet a Centaur's total height is listed as six to seven feet tall. I'm 6'4" and slightly less than three feet of that is above my waist (I just held a yardstick up to myself right now) so that would put my upper body at upper end of height for a Centaur's humanoid torso. So for an "average" Centaur we're looking at a humanoid part that should look like it's the top half of a human that's six and a half feet tall. And even though such humans are generally a good bit broader than smaller ones that torso is still going to either look unnaturally skinny compared to the equine shoulders that are where human hips would be or the entire torso is going to be built like a pre 5e illustration of a dwarf scaled up double in every dimension. Not the 5e dwarves that are up to five feet tall and "about 150 pounds" but the ones that, assuming average rolls on the SRD tables stand at 4'3 and weigh 165 so they're built like the kid in fourth grade that takes at least two other kids to balance them on the seesaw. Stretched out in both height and width.
So look up a picture of Andre the Giant and photoshop his upper half (vertically compressed to 75% of actual height with width unchanged) onto the body of a pony that you've edited out the central third of so it's butt cheeks are more or less sticking out of it's shoulders. Then picture that guy climbing a ladder because the rules say he can!
And if you want to get into some fun roleplaying situations make the character female and get ready for bipedal PCs and NPCs to ask you about how the physical arrangement works of nursing a newborn with the mammaries that all female Centaurs in official Dungeons and Dragons artwork most definitely have on their humanoid chests.
Then you can get a regular, large sized horse and ride it because you are a medium creature and RAW the most you should need to accommodate you is a custom saddle (however the hell that works). Or maybe you could drive the party's mule drawn wagon. Are there rules in any official books for ice skating or skiing in 5e? Because I'll bet that if there are they don't say anything about penalties for having more than two feet. Now I am seriously tempted to make my own next character a Centaur just to see how crazy I can drive the DM with this kind of crap while otherwise playing them as a serious character. I haven't watched South Park in years but I'll bet they have at least one episode in their archives that has some suitably analogous material to draw inspiration from; their surreal/absurdist approach to everything would be perfect for this idea.
Ice skating on four legs would be somewhat like skating on two legs with a gliding chair in front of you for support and balance, if the centaur kept their front legs straight. Generally speaking having four legs helps with balance.
So look up a picture of Andre the Giant and photoshop his upper half (vertically compressed to 75% of actual height with width unchanged) onto the body of a pony that you've edited out the central third of so it's butt cheeks are more or less sticking out of it's shoulders.
So look up a picture of Andre the Giant and photoshop his upper half (vertically compressed to 75% of actual height with width unchanged) onto the body of a pony that you've edited out the central third of so it's butt cheeks are more or less sticking out of it's shoulders.
Welcome back! Last time I had made a poll of 19 races for the D&D Beyond community to choose for me to play. After 3 days of collecting votes, it is time for me to make a new poll. The options listed are the 5 most popular races from the previous poll. Feel free to drop a comment below, it'll help keep this poll in circulation.
Thanks for stopping by, every vote counts!
-Tyrannosary
Yay Firbolg.
Only spilt the party if you see something shiny.
Ariendela Sneakerson, Half-elf Rogue (8); Harmony Wolfsbane, Tiefling Bard (10); Agnomally, Gnomish Sorcerer (3); Breeze, Tabaxi Monk (8); Grace, Dragonborn Barbarian (7); DM, Homebrew- The Sequestered Lands/Underwater Explorers; Candlekeep
Firbolg still cuz all the other races are ugly
Er ek geng, þat er í þeim skóm er ek valda.
UwU
*Tiny high five* Go team halfling!
From a purely powergaming standpoint, only one race in this poll gets second breakfast. I think the choice is clear.
Cycling this back to the front page of general discussion for more votes hopefully. I want to try and keep this poll active for a few days.
Uhu-uhu.
Want to start playing but don't have anyone to play with? You can try these options: [link].
I'm voting centaur just because it's a bit weird. I don't really see many centaur PCs being mentioned so I'm going with ponyman (or ponygirl, whichever).
xD
And still only one breakfast. I'll die on this hill of potatoes!
What about elevenses? Luncheon? Afternoon tea? Dinner? Supper?
You guys know that centaurs can’t go up or down stairs right?
The first time a friend of mine ever played D&D, for a one-shot, she created a drag queen centaur barbarian who got fierce instead of raging
We made this for her so she'd have a magic weapon
Active characters:
Carric Aquissar, elven wannabe artist in his deconstructionist period (Archfey warlock)
Lan Kidogo, mapach archaeologist and treasure hunter (Knowledge cleric)
Mardan Ferres, elven private investigator obsessed with that one unsolved murder (Assassin rogue)
Xhekhetiel, halfling survivor of a Betrayer Gods cult (Runechild sorcerer/fighter)
I'm sure that's what they'd like you to believe. :p In fact, by the rules Centaurs can even climb ropes. Very slowly, but they can.
Want to start playing but don't have anyone to play with? You can try these options: [link].
There are a lot of rules interactions that are fairly ridiculous one way or another when you think about them with centaurs.
The only penalty they have to any sort of movement is that when climbing in a way " that requires hands and feet" is done at 20% of their normal speed instead of 50% like other characters (they spend 5' of their move to climb 1' rather than the normal 2:1). That means they can climb ladders, just at a normal rate of eight feet per round or sixteen if they dash. Otherwise they can move anywhere a bipedal character can with no extra restrictions at all.
As medium creatures they occupy a single five foot square. That means they're only about five feet long, while they're described as averaging about four feet high at the withers (center of their forward shoulders) so that's about the height of their backs. Now I am by no means an equestrian expert, but a quick moment of ogling the gos spits out a bunch of numbers mostly between five and six feet (measured at the withers like the Centaur entry) for "average" height of common horse breeds and the only number readily available for typical horse length (which is apparently not a commonly referenced metric for whatever reason) is eight feet. So we're looking at a real life horse being about 140-160% longer than it is tall while our Centaurs are only about 120% longer than tall. Now I'm not sure if that eight feet is nose to butt or chest to butt. If it's measured to the nose then the body proportions are probably going to be more or less the same as a horse's neck and head stick forward far enough to make up the difference while a Centaur's humanoid torso just sticks straight up instead of forward. But if it's measured from the chest then these Centaurs are foing to look like they were in the middle of a five car pileup and got horizontally accordioned compared to a normal pony of similar height. Now while looking for information on horse width I just came across a note saying horse length is measured "the point of the shoulder to the point of the buttock" so the neck and head are definitely not included. Horizontal stubby horse bodies it is!
Then there's the humanoid torso part. I'm not sure exactly what the "average" width of a typical horse is because every go I ogle about that question just keeps telling me the average height. Seriously, click something that says "How wide is a horse" and it answers "Horse height typically averages between five and six feet." So no help there, but while I'm no horse expert I have spent some time in close proximity to horses and let me tell you them suckers got some girth to 'em. Their chests and shoulders, where a Centaur's humanoid torso begins, are significantly wider than those of an actual human. I would guess (again, I have no solid numbers handy and am going by recollections of the times I cared for a few horses belonging to family friends when they were out of town on vacation a few times) at least half as much wider than a average to large human male there (for reference of my personal perspective, I am a large man, significantly taller and broader of shoulder than average). Yet a Centaur's total height is listed as six to seven feet tall. I'm 6'4" and slightly less than three feet of that is above my waist (I just held a yardstick up to myself right now) so that would put my upper body at upper end of height for a Centaur's humanoid torso. So for an "average" Centaur we're looking at a humanoid part that should look like it's the top half of a human that's six and a half feet tall. And even though such humans are generally a good bit broader than smaller ones that torso is still going to either look unnaturally skinny compared to the equine shoulders that are where human hips would be or the entire torso is going to be built like a pre 5e illustration of a dwarf scaled up double in every dimension. Not the 5e dwarves that are up to five feet tall and "about 150 pounds" but the ones that, assuming average rolls on the SRD tables stand at 4'3 and weigh 165 so they're built like the kid in fourth grade that takes at least two other kids to balance them on the seesaw. Stretched out in both height and width.
So look up a picture of Andre the Giant and photoshop his upper half (vertically compressed to 75% of actual height with width unchanged) onto the body of a pony that you've edited out the central third of so it's butt cheeks are more or less sticking out of it's shoulders. Then picture that guy climbing a ladder because the rules say he can!
And if you want to get into some fun roleplaying situations make the character female and get ready for bipedal PCs and NPCs to ask you about how the physical arrangement works of nursing a newborn with the mammaries that all female Centaurs in official Dungeons and Dragons artwork most definitely have on their humanoid chests.
Then you can get a regular, large sized horse and ride it because you are a medium creature and RAW the most you should need to accommodate you is a custom saddle (however the hell that works). Or maybe you could drive the party's mule drawn wagon. Are there rules in any official books for ice skating or skiing in 5e? Because I'll bet that if there are they don't say anything about penalties for having more than two feet. Now I am seriously tempted to make my own next character a Centaur just to see how crazy I can drive the DM with this kind of crap while otherwise playing them as a serious character. I haven't watched South Park in years but I'll bet they have at least one episode in their archives that has some suitably analogous material to draw inspiration from; their surreal/absurdist approach to everything would be perfect for this idea.
Ice skating on four legs would be somewhat like skating on two legs with a gliding chair in front of you for support and balance, if the centaur kept their front legs straight. Generally speaking having four legs helps with balance.
Want to start playing but don't have anyone to play with? You can try these options: [link].
Imagining this is so weird lmao
Also this Reverse centaur
They're all the same except for how they look so it doesn't matter.
"Sooner or later, your Players are going to smash your railroad into a sandbox."
-Vedexent
"real life is a super high CR."
-OboeLauren
"............anybody got any potatoes? We could drop a potato in each hole an' see which ones get viciously mauled by horrible monsters?"
-Ilyara Thundertale
Forgive me but how are they all the same except for how they look?