So I know that the DM is pretty much god. I get that but, what if a DM keeps on forcing NPC in your party.
Let me explain I'm with party of 6 in a campaign ran every Sunday, we are all first timers including the DM. There has been a few occasions that he has taken over our characters and made decision for us. Some decisions don't even make sense for our character.
We start of the campaign stripped of everything and so we had to scavenge for items. At the beginning a prisoner joins our party, after we break free said NPC refuses to leave the party and becomes obsessed and inlove with a member of our Party. He travels with us to his home town and finally finally leaves us. Ok that wasn't too bad right.
Next we do a quest and meet creepy ghost girls, we finished our quest and one ghost girl attaches to a member of our party. She's creepy, she possessed one party member and had them stab another. Then when she has a tantrum she teleport us to a different dimension. Ok this is super annoying. The person she was attached to leaves the party and creats a new character. Unsure if ghost girl is with us.
Now we have a giant horse sized rooster, abrasive and has a Brooklyn accent, which only eats gold coins, cost us an extra 5 gold because it refused to lodge with us and cost us another 25 gold for destroying a room, Also gets us kicked out of an in for crowing at 4 am. FYI we are out 15,000 gold already and if we don't get that money to my church in 19 days i die. So i found an out there's a Chicken expert in the town who adores and cares for chickens and sells accessories for pet chickens. He falls in love with giant chicken and seems like he would be a great care taker of giant talking chicken. I tell chicken that hte life we lead is very dangerous and he will be safer here, and that this man knows how to take care of chicken and has many chicken friends for him. Rooster refuses.
So now im frustrated and im not enjoying the story. I don't think the DM is aware that he's being a bit too controlling. How do I communicate my frustration to the DM, its getting to the point that i want to leave the campaign but if i do 2 other will also leave the party. Which makes me feel bad. :(
I mean, for starters you can discuss what you have in here. As usual when trying to reduce conflict, don't portray it as 'you did this', explain it as 'I feel like this' and attempt to show how you view the things that are happening. If other players are sharing in your sentiment, request that they calmly share their feelings as well. Your goal is not to make the DM feel like he's failed or is a jerk, but to help your DM see that the party isn't having as much fun as they could be, and to give a great launching off point for how to create that fun.
Also, trying to sort out why the DM is making these intrusive NPCs is worthwhile. I have to wonder if the DM wishes they were a player, instead, with how they nose into the party. Perhaps consider offering to DM a one-shot to give the DM a break and let them play a little if this is the case?
If the DM is unresponsive to these efforts, I mean -- kill the chicken? Maybe the DM wants you guys to murderhobo, and is creating these obstructive NPCs for the purpose of goading you into chicken murder.
In the end: No D&D is better than bad D&D. There are opportunities to find new groups, and if after all is said and done things don't improve and you're unable to enjoy the time spent with this game, it is better not to devote your time to it.
That sucks man. If it were me, I would gather your fellow players and confront the DM together. Do it in a way that your not attacking whoever the DM is, just talk to them together and make sure it is known that the group as a whole feels uncomfortable with some of their DMing methods, and give specifics as to when you felt they were controlling.
If you have to talk to the DM alone, so be it. Make sure they know how you feel about their DMing, and tell them that they are being controlling to a point that you don't have fun playing anymore.
If this person gets angry for some reason, or tells you that since they are the DM they can do whatever they want, just leave. You don't want to play with a shitty person like that controlling the game. They are ruining your experience and you have a right to having fun.
If the person decides that you are right, great! Work on helping them create a fun experience for you! They are a new dm so maybe all they needed was some advice and some help from the players. Maybe you can make a list of rules for the entire group, stuff like "Rule 3: You are the only one in control of your character, no one else can control your character." stuff that applies to both the players and DM.
Just remember, if the dm keeps being difficult, don't be scared to walk away.
I'm also getting the impression that, besides being too controlling, the DM wants the campaign to have a different tone than what you and your teammates want. The NPCs you're describing are all pretty gonzo, humorous characters, and it sounds like the party might want something a little more serious.
I'm guessing you all didn't have a Session Zero to discuss your expectations and desires for the game? Well, better late than never. Suggest to the DM that everyone sit down and go over what sort of game they want. Is this going to be a serious, RP-heavy game? Is it going to be a goofy, anarchic game? Neither one is the wrong choice, but when there's a mismatch in what the GM and the players want (as I suspect is happening here), you're going to run into a lot of problems. It may be that, once the DM understands what you players are looking for, he'll be able to adjust and accommodate accordingly. Or maybe he won't. Which will be unfortunate, but at least you'll know to quit while you're ahead and find a DM that better fits your playstyle.
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"We're the perfect combination of expendable and unkillable!"
Now we have a giant horse sized rooster, abrasive and has a Brooklyn accent
As a Brooklyn native, I of course read this as New Jersey.
The DM is not god. This is your game too and most new DM's (particularly if they're younger) need to learn that they are actually part of a team. It doesn't work if only a few people are engaged and having a good time. The game (and presumably their fun) will come to an end if people don't want to play anymore. Compromise and communication are important lessons for new players and DM's.
If you chalk it up to your DM being inexperienced then I would suggest following one of the published books rather then your own campaign. This is a good way to get everyone grounded and learn the system without giant gold eating chickens.
I find a lot of newer players that want to DM go overboard and what they think is epic and cool is actually terrible and over the top. Following a hardcover, at least once, helps put everything in perspective.
As many have said, a conversation with the DM is always your first best option. Have you tried to talk to them? How has that conversation gone if so?
As also stated, don't feel bad if you ultimately do have to leave. If you talk to the DM and they are unwilling to change, drop them and take anyone who wants to go with you and post to the Looking for Group board. You can find a group that is a better fit.
Just had a fit reading that. So we take turns in our campaigns being the main characters. I had made a character I loved and spent a few months on. It was finally my turn to have her do her story and be the main character. The dm forced a Npc character into our party and basically made that npc the main character. So my character was the supporting character in her own story. And the dm kept pushing my character to adopt said Npc into her family. I did just so I wouldn’t get any backlash but now I don’t wanna play or think about my character
I'm a little confused. The only thing that objectively concerns me is that the DM is mentioned to be forcing decisions on the party. Even then, the context isn't explicitly explained. There are three scenarios that come mind:
1. The DM is forcing decisions on the party. "Your characters decide to go to this town". That's pretty bad, and needs to stop. Try speaking to the DM and explain how the role 9f the DM is to play the world and the role of the players is to play the PCs. Just as it would be annoying and problematic for a player to suddenly start narrating the actions and decisions of that Goblin that's attacking the party, so the DM shouldn't be dictating the behaviour of PCs.
2. The DM is using the mechanics of the game that would override agency. For.example, you mention the ghost possessing the members of the party. Again, while this should be infrequent, it is part of the rules and can be done. It can be part of the storytelling. A player doesn't have to like it, and that feeling is valid, but that doesn't make them a bad DM. In this situation, just speak to the DM and see if they can change it.
3. The DM is railroading you. Yes, this is less than ideal, but when the DM is inexperienced and/or less skilled, it becomes neceasary. In fact, all DMs do it to a degree - it's just you learn to hide it when you learn more and get some experience under your belt. If it continues, then themight want to give them help in how to direct the story more subtly.
One of the three scenarios is actually a bad habit that does need to stop. The others are about taste and skill - both of which involve recognition that we're working together to play a game, and sometimes things are exactly how we like them. They're not.objectively bad, they just need either patience or a little negotiation.
As always, the answer to every single one of these types of threads is pretty much the same:
1. Identify where the problem is. Most of the time, it is down to taste rather than people being actually wrong, and that's important to recognise. You're allowed to not like an aspect of a game, but that's different to the DM being wrong.
2. Discuss with the DM, and the party if they're relevant, what you'd like to change in a civil, friendly manner that isn't about confrontation but about working with the DM to make the game fun for everyone. If the DM is game, problem solved. If not, then you either suck it up or you leave.
It is worth noting that this event happened well over three years ago. The campaign has long finished - or the problem has been so successfully resolved that they're still playing years later. My response is more for the benefit of anyone else that reads.the thread, perhaps looking for solutions to a similar problem.
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If you're not willing or able to to discuss in good faith, then don't be surprised if I don't respond, there are better things in life for me to do than humour you. This signature is that response.
So I know that the DM is pretty much god. I get that but, what if a DM keeps on forcing NPC in your party.
Let me explain I'm with party of 6 in a campaign ran every Sunday, we are all first timers including the DM. There has been a few occasions that he has taken over our characters and made decision for us. Some decisions don't even make sense for our character.
We start of the campaign stripped of everything and so we had to scavenge for items. At the beginning a prisoner joins our party, after we break free said NPC refuses to leave the party and becomes obsessed and inlove with a member of our Party. He travels with us to his home town and finally finally leaves us. Ok that wasn't too bad right.
Next we do a quest and meet creepy ghost girls, we finished our quest and one ghost girl attaches to a member of our party. She's creepy, she possessed one party member and had them stab another. Then when she has a tantrum she teleport us to a different dimension. Ok this is super annoying. The person she was attached to leaves the party and creats a new character. Unsure if ghost girl is with us.
Now we have a giant horse sized rooster, abrasive and has a Brooklyn accent, which only eats gold coins, cost us an extra 5 gold because it refused to lodge with us and cost us another 25 gold for destroying a room, Also gets us kicked out of an in for crowing at 4 am. FYI we are out 15,000 gold already and if we don't get that money to my church in 19 days i die. So i found an out there's a Chicken expert in the town who adores and cares for chickens and sells accessories for pet chickens. He falls in love with giant chicken and seems like he would be a great care taker of giant talking chicken. I tell chicken that hte life we lead is very dangerous and he will be safer here, and that this man knows how to take care of chicken and has many chicken friends for him. Rooster refuses.
So now im frustrated and im not enjoying the story. I don't think the DM is aware that he's being a bit too controlling. How do I communicate my frustration to the DM, its getting to the point that i want to leave the campaign but if i do 2 other will also leave the party. Which makes me feel bad. :(
Just realised this is a 3 year old thread lol, will leave my answer here as some might find it interesting.
Ok so first of all I would say as a DM myself the DM is not "god" in any way shape or form, yes they create a world and define the rules within that world but you as players also get to define how you will act and behave in that world with your characters.
Outside of the game As a group with the DM you set the table expectations, you define acceptable behaviour and what everyone can or cannot do between you. You are all equal, and in fact as a DM I consider my players slightly more equal then me because if I am not giving them a good enjoyable experiance they will leave.
A DM never makes decisions, for player characters, and never interjects themselves directly into the story other then where the story makes sense.
How do your other players feel? I would talk to them and then have a conversation with your DM and explain you are not having fun. Suggest, as you are all new to DnD that you run one of the published adventures. I also suggest that you have a session 0 and you all decide on storylines that are not ok. For instance one campaign I had it was agreed up front that there would be no romantic relationships with any NPC and the players didn't want NPC's becoming obsessed or in love with players. Another campaign the players said they where not happy with the depiction of violence against children, so no child victims of monsters etc.
A Roleplay table should be a safe space and no DM should do anything that makes the players feel awkward, you are not telling the DM's story, you are telling a shared story in the DM's world.
And I will say it again, the DM is not and will never be God.
So I know that the DM is pretty much god. I get that but, what if a DM keeps on forcing NPC in your party.
Let me explain I'm with party of 6 in a campaign ran every Sunday, we are all first timers including the DM.
There has been a few occasions that he has taken over our characters and made decision for us. Some decisions don't even make sense for our character.
We start of the campaign stripped of everything and so we had to scavenge for items. At the beginning a prisoner joins our party, after we break free said NPC refuses to leave the party and becomes obsessed and inlove with a member of our Party. He travels with us to his home town and finally finally leaves us. Ok that wasn't too bad right.
Next we do a quest and meet creepy ghost girls, we finished our quest and one ghost girl attaches to a member of our party. She's creepy, she possessed one party member and had them stab another. Then when she has a tantrum she teleport us to a different dimension. Ok this is super annoying. The person she was attached to leaves the party and creats a new character. Unsure if ghost girl is with us.
Now we have a giant horse sized rooster, abrasive and has a Brooklyn accent, which only eats gold coins, cost us an extra 5 gold because it refused to lodge with us and cost us another 25 gold for destroying a room, Also gets us kicked out of an in for crowing at 4 am. FYI we are out 15,000 gold already and if we don't get that money to my church in 19 days i die. So i found an out there's a Chicken expert in the town who adores and cares for chickens and sells accessories for pet chickens. He falls in love with giant chicken and seems like he would be a great care taker of giant talking chicken. I tell chicken that hte life we lead is very dangerous and he will be safer here, and that this man knows how to take care of chicken and has many chicken friends for him. Rooster refuses.
So now im frustrated and im not enjoying the story. I don't think the DM is aware that he's being a bit too controlling.
How do I communicate my frustration to the DM, its getting to the point that i want to leave the campaign but if i do 2 other will also leave the party. Which makes me feel bad. :(
Yikes. Sounds rough.
I mean, for starters you can discuss what you have in here. As usual when trying to reduce conflict, don't portray it as 'you did this', explain it as 'I feel like this' and attempt to show how you view the things that are happening. If other players are sharing in your sentiment, request that they calmly share their feelings as well. Your goal is not to make the DM feel like he's failed or is a jerk, but to help your DM see that the party isn't having as much fun as they could be, and to give a great launching off point for how to create that fun.
Also, trying to sort out why the DM is making these intrusive NPCs is worthwhile. I have to wonder if the DM wishes they were a player, instead, with how they nose into the party. Perhaps consider offering to DM a one-shot to give the DM a break and let them play a little if this is the case?
If the DM is unresponsive to these efforts, I mean -- kill the chicken? Maybe the DM wants you guys to murderhobo, and is creating these obstructive NPCs for the purpose of goading you into chicken murder.
In the end: No D&D is better than bad D&D. There are opportunities to find new groups, and if after all is said and done things don't improve and you're unable to enjoy the time spent with this game, it is better not to devote your time to it.
Good luck!
That sucks man. If it were me, I would gather your fellow players and confront the DM together. Do it in a way that your not attacking whoever the DM is, just talk to them together and make sure it is known that the group as a whole feels uncomfortable with some of their DMing methods, and give specifics as to when you felt they were controlling.
If you have to talk to the DM alone, so be it. Make sure they know how you feel about their DMing, and tell them that they are being controlling to a point that you don't have fun playing anymore.
If this person gets angry for some reason, or tells you that since they are the DM they can do whatever they want, just leave. You don't want to play with a shitty person like that controlling the game. They are ruining your experience and you have a right to having fun.
If the person decides that you are right, great! Work on helping them create a fun experience for you! They are a new dm so maybe all they needed was some advice and some help from the players. Maybe you can make a list of rules for the entire group, stuff like "Rule 3: You are the only one in control of your character, no one else can control your character." stuff that applies to both the players and DM.
Just remember, if the dm keeps being difficult, don't be scared to walk away.
hello
I'm also getting the impression that, besides being too controlling, the DM wants the campaign to have a different tone than what you and your teammates want. The NPCs you're describing are all pretty gonzo, humorous characters, and it sounds like the party might want something a little more serious.
I'm guessing you all didn't have a Session Zero to discuss your expectations and desires for the game? Well, better late than never. Suggest to the DM that everyone sit down and go over what sort of game they want. Is this going to be a serious, RP-heavy game? Is it going to be a goofy, anarchic game? Neither one is the wrong choice, but when there's a mismatch in what the GM and the players want (as I suspect is happening here), you're going to run into a lot of problems. It may be that, once the DM understands what you players are looking for, he'll be able to adjust and accommodate accordingly. Or maybe he won't. Which will be unfortunate, but at least you'll know to quit while you're ahead and find a DM that better fits your playstyle.
"We're the perfect combination of expendable and unkillable!"
As a Brooklyn native, I of course read this as New Jersey.
The DM is not god. This is your game too and most new DM's (particularly if they're younger) need to learn that they are actually part of a team. It doesn't work if only a few people are engaged and having a good time. The game (and presumably their fun) will come to an end if people don't want to play anymore. Compromise and communication are important lessons for new players and DM's.
If you chalk it up to your DM being inexperienced then I would suggest following one of the published books rather then your own campaign. This is a good way to get everyone grounded and learn the system without giant gold eating chickens.
I find a lot of newer players that want to DM go overboard and what they think is epic and cool is actually terrible and over the top. Following a hardcover, at least once, helps put everything in perspective.
As many have said, a conversation with the DM is always your first best option. Have you tried to talk to them? How has that conversation gone if so?
As also stated, don't feel bad if you ultimately do have to leave. If you talk to the DM and they are unwilling to change, drop them and take anyone who wants to go with you and post to the Looking for Group board. You can find a group that is a better fit.
Just had a fit reading that. So we take turns in our campaigns being the main characters. I had made a character I loved and spent a few months on. It was finally my turn to have her do her story and be the main character. The dm forced a Npc character into our party and basically made that npc the main character. So my character was the supporting character in her own story. And the dm kept pushing my character to adopt said Npc into her family. I did just so I wouldn’t get any backlash but now I don’t wanna play or think about my character
I'm a little confused. The only thing that objectively concerns me is that the DM is mentioned to be forcing decisions on the party. Even then, the context isn't explicitly explained. There are three scenarios that come mind:
1. The DM is forcing decisions on the party. "Your characters decide to go to this town". That's pretty bad, and needs to stop. Try speaking to the DM and explain how the role 9f the DM is to play the world and the role of the players is to play the PCs. Just as it would be annoying and problematic for a player to suddenly start narrating the actions and decisions of that Goblin that's attacking the party, so the DM shouldn't be dictating the behaviour of PCs.
2. The DM is using the mechanics of the game that would override agency. For.example, you mention the ghost possessing the members of the party. Again, while this should be infrequent, it is part of the rules and can be done. It can be part of the storytelling. A player doesn't have to like it, and that feeling is valid, but that doesn't make them a bad DM. In this situation, just speak to the DM and see if they can change it.
3. The DM is railroading you. Yes, this is less than ideal, but when the DM is inexperienced and/or less skilled, it becomes neceasary. In fact, all DMs do it to a degree - it's just you learn to hide it when you learn more and get some experience under your belt. If it continues, then themight want to give them help in how to direct the story more subtly.
One of the three scenarios is actually a bad habit that does need to stop. The others are about taste and skill - both of which involve recognition that we're working together to play a game, and sometimes things are exactly how we like them. They're not.objectively bad, they just need either patience or a little negotiation.
As always, the answer to every single one of these types of threads is pretty much the same:
1. Identify where the problem is. Most of the time, it is down to taste rather than people being actually wrong, and that's important to recognise. You're allowed to not like an aspect of a game, but that's different to the DM being wrong.
2. Discuss with the DM, and the party if they're relevant, what you'd like to change in a civil, friendly manner that isn't about confrontation but about working with the DM to make the game fun for everyone. If the DM is game, problem solved. If not, then you either suck it up or you leave.
It is worth noting that this event happened well over three years ago. The campaign has long finished - or the problem has been so successfully resolved that they're still playing years later. My response is more for the benefit of anyone else that reads.the thread, perhaps looking for solutions to a similar problem.
If you're not willing or able to to discuss in good faith, then don't be surprised if I don't respond, there are better things in life for me to do than humour you. This signature is that response.
Just realised this is a 3 year old thread lol, will leave my answer here as some might find it interesting.
Ok so first of all I would say as a DM myself the DM is not "god" in any way shape or form, yes they create a world and define the rules within that world but you as players also get to define how you will act and behave in that world with your characters.
Outside of the game As a group with the DM you set the table expectations, you define acceptable behaviour and what everyone can or cannot do between you. You are all equal, and in fact as a DM I consider my players slightly more equal then me because if I am not giving them a good enjoyable experiance they will leave.
A DM never makes decisions, for player characters, and never interjects themselves directly into the story other then where the story makes sense.
How do your other players feel? I would talk to them and then have a conversation with your DM and explain you are not having fun. Suggest, as you are all new to DnD that you run one of the published adventures. I also suggest that you have a session 0 and you all decide on storylines that are not ok. For instance one campaign I had it was agreed up front that there would be no romantic relationships with any NPC and the players didn't want NPC's becoming obsessed or in love with players. Another campaign the players said they where not happy with the depiction of violence against children, so no child victims of monsters etc.
A Roleplay table should be a safe space and no DM should do anything that makes the players feel awkward, you are not telling the DM's story, you are telling a shared story in the DM's world.
And I will say it again, the DM is not and will never be God.