So i wanted to have someone rate the campaign that I've been making, plotwise, and make some suggestions to help fit it (wether it be names or themes)
Current Plot: In the dimly lit chamber, the players awaken amidst a haunting sight—a morbid body pile, each lifeless form drained of vitality. As they gather their bearings, hushed voices echo through the ominous space. A clandestine conversation unfolds between Po-qoch, the malevolent Illithilich, and his three Subservients: Drughaxhas, the all-seeing Beholder; Mére Cereballite, an Elder Brain orchestrating "The Ones Who Hunger," a coven of insatiable Mindflayers; and Prince Udayull, a once noble prince transformed into a formidable Lich. The discourse revolves around a sinister plan—a grand feast where memories shall be devoured.
Swiftly escaping this macabre scene, the players find themselves in the enigmatic town of Drenchwood. Their journey unfolds as they undertake odd jobs, honing their skills and unraveling the mystery of their forgotten identities. Alongside the quests, the ominous shadow of Po-qoch looms, threatening to consume the memories of the entire county in a malevolent feast. As the players strive to piece together their past, they must confront the Illithilich's dark machinations, striving to thwart his insidious plot and safeguard the memories of all.
Seems fine in a subjective manner. Is this sort of theme that your players enjoy? I think that matters most - finding the spot where your ideas as a DM are fun for your players!
There are so many ways this could go wrong. Most players I've ever met would attack Po-qoch on sight. Even if they didn't, and escaped, their sole purpose would be to gather the king's army and hunt down Po-qoch.
Also, maybe you're trying a bit hard? No offense, but it seems Po-qoch is being evil for the purpose of being evil. What's the point of this feast, precisely?
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Blanket disclaimer: I only ever state opinion. But I can sound terribly dogmatic - so if you feel I'm trying to tell you what to think, I'm really not, I swear. I'm telling you what I think, that's all.
Very interesting plot. I like the idea of your Illithilich, but the main thing that is putting me off is the fact that an Elder Brian serves it. Lore-wise, Alhoons traditionally become what they are by defying the ruling Elder Brains. Seeing as the elder brain in this story rules a coven of mind flayers, it would be very unlikely to find one with an Illithilich.
Solid 7/10 for creativity, but the idea could be worked on a bit. Although, this is just my opinion, and if your players like it how it is, that’s great. I just feel like the whole Po-qoch’s servant Elder Brain is a bit far-fetched. Perhaps if it had a reason to serve him unquestionably (E.g. if they destroyed its former Mind Flayer colony and subjected it to a form of torture that could break its will to such an extent that its fear of Po-qoch was greater than anything it had ever experienced before. HOLY, that was a mouthful...). Just ideas, if you don’t like them, you can stick with it. I am not criticizing; I am just letting you know some things that could be improved. Have a good day/night!
I wonder if easily escaping from the clutches of this cabal might diminish their menace. Would it make sense for this opening scene instead to be a shared vision/nightmare for the party?
The plot is that he wants to feast on the entire countries brains at once. Hence the Brain Banquet. He plans to use Mere Cerebellite as a way to stun, then uses the rest to gather them all... Never said I was a good DM but this is my first DM Game
Very interesting plot. I like the idea of your Illithilich, but the main thing that is putting me off is the fact that an Elder Brian serves it. Lore-wise, Alhoons traditionally become what they are by defying the ruling Elder Brains. Seeing as the elder brain in this story rules a coven of mind flayers, it would be very unlikely to find one with an Illithilich.
Solid 7/10 for creativity, but the idea could be worked on a bit. Although, this is just my opinion, and if your players like it how it is, that’s great. I just feel like the whole Po-qoch’s servant Elder Brain is a bit far-fetched. Perhaps if it had a reason to serve him unquestionably (E.g. if they destroyed its former Mind Flayer colony and subjected it to a form of torture that could break its will to such an extent that its fear of Po-qoch was greater than anything it had ever experienced before. HOLY, that was a mouthful...). Just ideas, if you don’t like them, you can stick with it. I am not criticizing; I am just letting you know some things that could be improved. Have a good day/night!
Well yeah, Po-qoch destroyed the former leader, and in exchange for not destroying her, her flayers work under him. Though they do have a plan to overthrow him. This is just the stuff I got overall for the game anyways
There are so many ways this could go wrong. Most players I've ever met would attack Po-qoch on sight. Even if they didn't, and escaped, their sole purpose would be to gather the king's army and hunt down Po-qoch.
Also, maybe you're trying a bit hard? No offense, but it seems Po-qoch is being evil for the purpose of being evil. What's the point of this feast, precisely?
While I agree with this in general, I don't know your players. They might be the greatest players to ever live but just in case, here's my advice. Instead of having all the big baddies RIGHT THERE, giving instant knowledge of every bad guy's identities to the players, instead have some low rank minions with a relatively mid rank minion for the players to fight and get small bits of info out of. Giving intrieuge (mi no spel gud) and hook for your players as well as a mystery to boot for the players to uncover. Who are the leaders, where are they, what are their goals? The players can slowly then be able to uncover the secrets while doing the odd jobs and honing there skills but only little hints. Of course this is all just suggestion and the choice is ultimately up to you.
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Hello There. I am a worldbuilder and proud DM that is creating a huge world called Eldredom. I'm pouring many hours into it and I may make some things later...
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So i wanted to have someone rate the campaign that I've been making, plotwise, and make some suggestions to help fit it (wether it be names or themes)
Current Plot: In the dimly lit chamber, the players awaken amidst a haunting sight—a morbid body pile, each lifeless form drained of vitality. As they gather their bearings, hushed voices echo through the ominous space. A clandestine conversation unfolds between Po-qoch, the malevolent Illithilich, and his three Subservients: Drughaxhas, the all-seeing Beholder; Mére Cereballite, an Elder Brain orchestrating "The Ones Who Hunger," a coven of insatiable Mindflayers; and Prince Udayull, a once noble prince transformed into a formidable Lich. The discourse revolves around a sinister plan—a grand feast where memories shall be devoured.
Swiftly escaping this macabre scene, the players find themselves in the enigmatic town of Drenchwood. Their journey unfolds as they undertake odd jobs, honing their skills and unraveling the mystery of their forgotten identities. Alongside the quests, the ominous shadow of Po-qoch looms, threatening to consume the memories of the entire county in a malevolent feast. As the players strive to piece together their past, they must confront the Illithilich's dark machinations, striving to thwart his insidious plot and safeguard the memories of all.
Seems fine in a subjective manner. Is this sort of theme that your players enjoy? I think that matters most - finding the spot where your ideas as a DM are fun for your players!
I like the themes of dark fantasy and madness, so as I player I would be interested in playing a campaign like that.
Level 1 DM.
There are so many ways this could go wrong. Most players I've ever met would attack Po-qoch on sight. Even if they didn't, and escaped, their sole purpose would be to gather the king's army and hunt down Po-qoch.
Also, maybe you're trying a bit hard? No offense, but it seems Po-qoch is being evil for the purpose of being evil. What's the point of this feast, precisely?
Blanket disclaimer: I only ever state opinion. But I can sound terribly dogmatic - so if you feel I'm trying to tell you what to think, I'm really not, I swear. I'm telling you what I think, that's all.
Very interesting plot. I like the idea of your Illithilich, but the main thing that is putting me off is the fact that an Elder Brian serves it. Lore-wise, Alhoons traditionally become what they are by defying the ruling Elder Brains. Seeing as the elder brain in this story rules a coven of mind flayers, it would be very unlikely to find one with an Illithilich.
Solid 7/10 for creativity, but the idea could be worked on a bit. Although, this is just my opinion, and if your players like it how it is, that’s great. I just feel like the whole Po-qoch’s servant Elder Brain is a bit far-fetched. Perhaps if it had a reason to serve him unquestionably (E.g. if they destroyed its former Mind Flayer colony and subjected it to a form of torture that could break its will to such an extent that its fear of Po-qoch was greater than anything it had ever experienced before. HOLY, that was a mouthful...). Just ideas, if you don’t like them, you can stick with it. I am not criticizing; I am just letting you know some things that could be improved. Have a good day/night!
I wonder if easily escaping from the clutches of this cabal might diminish their menace. Would it make sense for this opening scene instead to be a shared vision/nightmare for the party?
The plot is that he wants to feast on the entire countries brains at once. Hence the Brain Banquet. He plans to use Mere Cerebellite as a way to stun, then uses the rest to gather them all... Never said I was a good DM but this is my first DM Game
Well yeah, Po-qoch destroyed the former leader, and in exchange for not destroying her, her flayers work under him. Though they do have a plan to overthrow him. This is just the stuff I got overall for the game anyways
Seems cool, if not a bit railroad-y.
I probably wouldn't enjoy it, though I can see why some people would. VERY Cthulhuesque.
heh.
While I agree with this in general, I don't know your players. They might be the greatest players to ever live but just in case, here's my advice. Instead of having all the big baddies RIGHT THERE, giving instant knowledge of every bad guy's identities to the players, instead have some low rank minions with a relatively mid rank minion for the players to fight and get small bits of info out of. Giving intrieuge (mi no spel gud) and hook for your players as well as a mystery to boot for the players to uncover. Who are the leaders, where are they, what are their goals? The players can slowly then be able to uncover the secrets while doing the odd jobs and honing there skills but only little hints. Of course this is all just suggestion and the choice is ultimately up to you.
Hello There. I am a worldbuilder and proud DM that is creating a huge world called Eldredom. I'm pouring many hours into it and I may make some things later...