Hi, 

Following on from my post I made the other day, about needing a break from D&D, and so deciding to leave my roleplay heavy campaigns, and to stop DMing my own as well, I have made this character, which I intend to play in my friends game:

https://ddb.ac/characters/53004803/zGy892

My friend runs easy to play, roleplay light fun games, that is mostly just about hanging out and having fun, rather than serious play - and that is exactly what I want right now.  I want to hangout with my friends, chillout, eat pizza, and just have fun once a month.  To that end, I have made the character of Jace Smythe.  He has a very simple backstory.

He was found on the side of the road by an old Dwarven adventurer turned bandit.  

Backstory of Jace Smythe.

Elddel Minedelver, had came across the body of a young girl with several arrows in her back laying by the side of the road, and had initially sought to rifle through the dead girls pockets, in the hopes that whoever her asailents were had missed something.  When he turned the girl over however, to retrieve what he thought was a bag that she was laying on, he did not find gold or jewels, but he did find a small human boy.  

A baby, practically a newborn, no more than a month old.  

Now then; Elddel Minedelver, might have been a bandit, but he wasn't so low or evil that he would leave a child to die of exposure.  taking the bag off the corpse of whom he assumed was the child's mother, he sat down with it, on his lap as he fished through his own supplies to find a heath potion.  Finding the thing that he was looking for, he fed it to the child, whose condition stabilized in shot order. 

At least enough to make the three day trip to the nearest town, where Elddel planned to hand the child over to the priests who ran the orphanage.   

During the trip he cared for the boy, attempting to feed him by cooking vegetables and herbs into a thick soup, and of course cleaning him.  It was during this time that Elddel noticed something strange.  The boy had a birthmark.  A birthmark in and of itself is not strange, but this birthmark was a strange shape.  In fact, the boys birthmark very closely resembled the mark of Moradin.  

Elddel considered was confused by the mark and its seeming similarity to that of the mark of Moradin.  At first, it baffled him - why would a human child be born with such a mark - he couldn't understand it, but after much thought, about the mark, the boy and the way in which the child was found, Elddel came to the conclusion that it was him being there, in the right place, at the right time, to save a child that would have otherwise succumbed to the exposure, if only a few more hours had passed, must have been Moradin's will.  

A god that Elddel had long forsaken, had seen fit, to give him - Elddel Minedelver - that old worthless bastard - a second chance, and he wasn't going to waste it.

By the time he had the boy arrived in town, Elddel's mind was made up.  He wouldn't give the child to the priests at the orphanage, he would keep the boy, he would raise him as his own so, but not as a mere bandit, no!  He would raise the boy in a respectable home, he would give him a respectable trade, his families trade.  He would teach the boy to become a smith

When he arrived in town, he gave his name to the gatekeeper at being, Elddel Smythe, and the boy as his son - Jace Smythe (named for his human heritage).  The gatekeeper wasn't too convinced, but Elddel slipped him a few gold coins and the names Elddel and Jace Smythe (son) was recorded into the gatekeepers official log.  Once he had gained entry into the town, he headed straight for the nearest tavern, where he rented a room, and one of the taverns dancing girls.  

The girl, a young pale skinned human named, Elmyra Virharice, initially though that she had been hired to entertain her patron, but Elddel had no such ideas.  Instead, he wanted her to care for the boy, while he ran errands.  Elmyra didn't want to waste her time looking after somebody else's brat, especially when she could earn more gold from dancing and entertaining the guests downstairs, and named a somewhat exorbitant price, that to her surprise, Elddel paid in advance.  

Elmyra, would eventually become the boys living in nanny and later stepmom, though that certainly was not her plan.  She was not going to turn down so much gold for a simple babysitting job however, and so she accepted.  

Freed up of his responsibilities for the night, Elddel left the tavern, and went in search of the things he would need to legitimise his new identity.  By morning he had acquired the papers he needed.  The were all forgeries of course, but they were extremely high quality forgeries, that would have passed all but the closest inspection.  He had pawned his armour, his weapons, and spend almost all of his remaining gold to acquire them, but, Elddel Smythe, was now official.  

How all he needed to do was find work, which, with his forged papers, he would be able to find easy enough at the smiths guild.  Or at least he hoped he would, he had barely enough gold left for one more night in the tavern, if he didn't earn some money soon, he would be out on the street with a baby, and his hopes of fresh start would be in tatters, before they'd even begun.   Fortunately, he need not have worried, though it had been many years since he had held a smiths hammer, the skills taught to him by his father had not entirely been forgotten.  Having managed to make a passable sword and dagger, and with his forged papers, he was accepted into the guild.  

It wouldn't be easy, it wasn't easy, and the small retainer fee paid by the guild, was barely enough to live off.  In order to pay for his babysitter, and to make an honest name for himself, he would have to go hungry more nights than not, but the hard work, the empty belly, they were his punishment and his penance - the price he had to pay to Moradin, for being given a second chance, so late in life.

Almost a year later, Elddel had secured an honest job for himself as a blacksmith, and had saved up enough money to move out of the tavern and into a small home of his own, and along with him went his son, Jace, and the girl Elmyra, who had become rather enamoured with this old Dwarf.  So much so that the gossip amongst the girls of her old place of employ, was that she was doing more than childminding.  Though Elmyra would never admit to her relationship with Elddel, being more than employer and employee, she never denied it either.  Indeed, she visited the tavern often to hangout with her old friends, although she no longer entertained the guests there, she paid their quips about her days as a dancing girl no mind.  

Two years after moving out of the tavern, Elddel had saved up enough money to rent the space beside his own, and with the help of his guild, was able to open the towns first Dwarven forge.  An instant hit with passing adventures who sought to acquire dwarven made steel, weapons and armour for themselves.  

Elddel and Elmyra would eventually tie the knot and make their relationship official, and he would eventually reveal the truth of his past to her.  She choose not to hold it against him, judging him by the man he had become, not the man he used to be, and the two still too this day are happy together.  

Convinced that Moradin had given him all that he now had, that his god had saved him, Elddel, become a good and honest, hard working, though slightly over pious man who never forgot to give thanks for the gifts that he had been given, nor failed to share those gifts with his family.  

When Jace was old enough to lift a hammer, his father started to teach him the ways of the forge.  By the time he was ten, Jace was showing signs of being a prodigy and by the time he was eighteen, he had already surpassed his father's teachings, having begun to forge weapons and armour and other items of his own, that were a strange alchemical mix of intricate designs, alchemy and magic.  Despite being so young, or Human, the skill and mastery that Jace showed through his craft, earned him a great deal of respect and adoration amongst the towns Dwarven population, and his devotions to and understanding of the worship of Moradin, that he had learned from his father, opened doors amongst the more pious Dwarves.  

That is the life he grew up with, but in his heart, he had always yearned for adventure.  His bedtime stories had been filled with tales of fantastical Dwarven creations, mechanical wonders of an ancient bygone age, and he had yearned to see them for himself.  He had tried to create them on a smaller scale, forging the, as his mind imagined them.  Sometimes they worked, sometimes they didn't, but he longed to see the ancient wonders of the Dwarves with his own eyes, and so when he seen a job posting, seeking adventurers for an expedition to some ancient Dwarven ruins, he jumped at the chance.  

Elddel wasn't pleased that his son had went and joined the adventurers guild behind his back, but the boy had always shown an interest in Dwarven history, and so, after some cajoling from his wife, and promises from his son (mostly that he would not do anything stupid and get himself killed), Elddel gave the by his blessings and gifted him an amulet of Moradin, telling him to take good care of it and that it would keep him safe.

And with that, the first adventure of Jace begins.

Can I please have your thoughts and opinions.  Is my character sheet okay for a level 1 Artificer.  Also, what do you think of my characters backstory?  It has been hard for me to write story and create this character, so please feel free to be honest with me and tell me what I have missed out, what I need to add, or have done too much of, need to take out etc.

Thanks, guys

Forge

Honest thoughts: that’s way too long a backstory, even though it’s got some really cool ideas and doesn’t make your character too powerful. You can keep the writing if you want, I like it a lot, but for your DM, cut it down to “I was found by a dwarf as an abandoned baby marked by Moradin’s symbol. In Moradin’s name, the dwarf raised me and taught me to be an expert smith. Researching dwarven contraptions got me into adventuring, and I’ve never looked back.”

I'm with Naivara here, if that short essay was the 'very simple backstory' I hazard to think of the length of the ones that aren't simple. The concept itself is fine and will work well for your story, and if you just like writing then keep that as your notes on your character but if I was a DM or player in an 'easy to play, roleplay light' game I think that's way more detail than I'd pay attention.

Thanks for your replies guys, and for your honest opinions regarding the backstory.  I only wrote so much because I felt like I needed to explain why my human character had a dwarven parent, and why he was a clan crafter, at such a young age.  

I have another week yet, before I need to  play him, so I will try and cut it all down.

My thanks to, NaivaraArnuanna, for their suggestions on the shorter version.  I think as long as you don't mind NaivaraArnuanna, I will use that to introduce my character to the other players.

I will also try and cut down the full backstory more and then share the new new one with you all.

Thanks everyone

XD

Quote from TWForgeCleric >>

 

My thanks to, NaivaraArnuanna, for their suggestions on the shorter version.  I think as long as you don't mind NaivaraArnuanna, I will use that to introduce my character to the other players.

 

 Absolutely, go for it! Glad I could help.

Quote from NaivaraArnuanna >>

Honest thoughts: that’s way too long a backstory, even though it’s got some really cool ideas and doesn’t make your character too powerful. You can keep the writing if you want, I like it a lot, but for your DM, cut it down to “I was found by a dwarf as an abandoned baby marked by Moradin’s symbol. In Moradin’s name, the dwarf raised me and taught me to be an expert smith. Researching dwarven contraptions got me into adventuring, and I’ve never looked back.”

 Yeah this, basically. There are also quite a lot of spelling errors which, considering how lengthy it is, makes for a hard read. You should also clear the exotic equipment (having both an pistol AND a rifle besides your starting gear) and stats with your DM.

Quote from Lostwhilefishing >>

Quote from NaivaraArnuanna >>

Honest thoughts: that’s way too long a backstory, even though it’s got some really cool ideas and doesn’t make your character too powerful. You can keep the writing if you want, I like it a lot, but for your DM, cut it down to “I was found by a dwarf as an abandoned baby marked by Moradin’s symbol. In Moradin’s name, the dwarf raised me and taught me to be an expert smith. Researching dwarven contraptions got me into adventuring, and I’ve never looked back.”

 Yeah this, basically. There are also quite a lot of spelling errors which, considering how lengthy it is, makes for a hard read. You should also clear the exotic equipment (having both an pistol AND a rifle besides your starting gear) and stats with your DM.

 
Actually since posting this, I have sent her the link to the sheet for her to look at and she has told me to take out the firearms and replace them with starting gear.  

I can get firearms eventually if that’s what I want him to have but she wants everyone to have gear that is somewhat balanced at the start. So essentially the starting weapons and what you get in the pack of equipment that you can get at the start.