Can I get y'alls opinion on this backstory I wrote for my oc
Childhood: Victoria Serpico was born in the Bridge District of Athkatla, Amn as the oldest of three children. Although her family wasn't on the streets, they were barely making ends meet and Victoria's parents often worked long hours, forcing Victoria to look after her younger brother and sister. Taking on so much responsibility at such a young age forced Victoria to grow up too quickly. Despite her hardship, Victoria was a thoughtful and polite child who liked to read and "practice" sword-fighting with sticks she found outside.
Teenage Years: However the relative peace of Victoria's life would come to an end when a minor noble came to the district, promising the street urchins living there a modest pay if they were to join his private militia and fight a war with another house in his name. Wanting to support her family and leave the corruption of the city, Victoria agreed and became a soldier at 16 years old. Unfortunately this "war" with a rival house was just a petty excuse for the noble to conquer the house and gain more wealth. As for Victoria and the other teenagers, they were forced to endure two years of bloody fighting against much more experienced soldiers of the rival house. Many of Victoria's fellow soldiers perished and later in a final confrontation, she was gravely wounded and knocked unconscious. It was then she had a dream, that she was standing in front of a man who was terribly wounded and bound in chains. Moved by compassion, Victoria drew her sword and broke his chains. The man then introduced himself as Ilmater, the god of relieving suffering and offered Victoria a purpose in life; to serve him. Victoria agreed and when she awoke in the medical tent hour later, Victoria knew what she needed to do. After recovering from her injuries, Victoria left for the nearest temple of Ilmater, and became a paladin.
Present Day: Victoria has now been a paladin for four years, traveling and offering relief to those who suffer. She's also trained extensively in sword fighting as well as basic first aid, hand to hand combat, and survival skills. She still also reads a lot in her spare time. She is immensely grateful to have found a purpose and will do anything to uphold the ways of Ilmater, even at the cost of her life.
You had me at Victoria serpico. Great name. It looks really good. But what happened to her family? She was so devoted to them and now she travels around, why isn’t she staying close to help them? Did her siblings get old enough that they don’t need help anymore?
It could depend on the campaign, but to me, a god personally visiting a level 1 character seems odd. It could certainly happen, just seems odd, like you’re starting at the top and where do you go from there? maybe it was an angel of ilmater, or the medic tending her was a cleric of ilmater and she feels a debt to them. Then she can eventually earn a visit from the god itself.
You should work with your DM on those minor nobles — both the one she worked with and the other — since they are solid potential plot hooks. So make sure they have names and you know who they are. Also names for her siblings and parents. Probably there would be a soldier or two from her units who survived, names for a couple of them could be good. Just things to give your DM lots of options to play with.
"It looks really good. But what happened to her family? She was so devoted to them and now she travels around, why isn’t she staying close to help them? Did her siblings get old enough that they don’t need help anymore?"
Yes her siblings did get old enough to not need her though Victoria does stay in touch via letters and sends them money when she can.
"It could depend on the campaign, but to me, a god personally visiting a level 1 character seems odd. It could certainly happen, just seems odd, like you’re starting at the top and where do you go from there? maybe it was an angel of ilmater, or the medic tending her was a cleric of ilmater and she feels a debt to them. Then she can eventually earn a visit from the god itself."
Oof I didn't realize lmao, I'll make some changes to that.
As for the minor nobles and family, I'll make sure to give them names. Thanks so much for the response, I'm very new to dnd so I'll need all the help I can get lol.
I like the story. It's well thought out and entertaining. It, perhaps, is a little bit for a god to be appearing to a non-believer, but there is lore with those stories, certainly representatives of the deity (ala "road to Damascus conversion). You're a good writer.
Can I get y'alls opinion on this backstory I wrote for my oc
Childhood: Victoria Serpico was born in the Bridge District of Athkatla, Amn as the oldest of three children. Although her family wasn't on the streets, they were barely making ends meet and Victoria's parents often worked long hours, forcing Victoria to look after her younger brother and sister. Taking on so much responsibility at such a young age forced Victoria to grow up too quickly. Despite her hardship, Victoria was a thoughtful and polite child who liked to read and "practice" sword-fighting with sticks she found outside.
Teenage Years: However the relative peace of Victoria's life would come to an end when a minor noble came to the district, promising the street urchins living there a modest pay if they were to join his private militia and fight a war with another house in his name. Wanting to support her family and leave the corruption of the city, Victoria agreed and became a soldier at 16 years old. Unfortunately this "war" with a rival house was just a petty excuse for the noble to conquer the house and gain more wealth. As for Victoria and the other teenagers, they were forced to endure two years of bloody fighting against much more experienced soldiers of the rival house. Many of Victoria's fellow soldiers perished and later in a final confrontation, she was gravely wounded and knocked unconscious. It was then she had a dream, that she was standing in front of a man who was terribly wounded and bound in chains. Moved by compassion, Victoria drew her sword and broke his chains. The man then introduced himself as Ilmater, the god of relieving suffering and offered Victoria a purpose in life; to serve him. Victoria agreed and when she awoke in the medical tent hour later, Victoria knew what she needed to do. After recovering from her injuries, Victoria left for the nearest temple of Ilmater, and became a paladin.
Present Day: Victoria has now been a paladin for four years, traveling and offering relief to those who suffer. She's also trained extensively in sword fighting as well as basic first aid, hand to hand combat, and survival skills. She still also reads a lot in her spare time. She is immensely grateful to have found a purpose and will do anything to uphold the ways of Ilmater, even at the cost of her life.
You inspired me to post my character's backstory. :)
That my friend, is rad. Yeah I don't see issues with the visited by the god thing entirely, but I do also see the points others were making about it. Maybe just a dream of something symbolic of him? Or from what I gathered from my quick google search, he sometimes sent ghosts instead of appearing himself or sending angels, perhaps one of her fallen comrades presented themselves in the dream.
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Can I get y'alls opinion on this backstory I wrote for my oc
Childhood: Victoria Serpico was born in the Bridge District of Athkatla, Amn as the oldest of three children. Although her family wasn't on the streets, they were barely making ends meet and Victoria's parents often worked long hours, forcing Victoria to look after her younger brother and sister. Taking on so much responsibility at such a young age forced Victoria to grow up too quickly. Despite her hardship, Victoria was a thoughtful and polite child who liked to read and "practice" sword-fighting with sticks she found outside.
Teenage Years: However the relative peace of Victoria's life would come to an end when a minor noble came to the district, promising the street urchins living there a modest pay if they were to join his private militia and fight a war with another house in his name. Wanting to support her family and leave the corruption of the city, Victoria agreed and became a soldier at 16 years old. Unfortunately this "war" with a rival house was just a petty excuse for the noble to conquer the house and gain more wealth. As for Victoria and the other teenagers, they were forced to endure two years of bloody fighting against much more experienced soldiers of the rival house. Many of Victoria's fellow soldiers perished and later in a final confrontation, she was gravely wounded and knocked unconscious. It was then she had a dream, that she was standing in front of a man who was terribly wounded and bound in chains. Moved by compassion, Victoria drew her sword and broke his chains. The man then introduced himself as Ilmater, the god of relieving suffering and offered Victoria a purpose in life; to serve him. Victoria agreed and when she awoke in the medical tent hour later, Victoria knew what she needed to do. After recovering from her injuries, Victoria left for the nearest temple of Ilmater, and became a paladin.
Present Day: Victoria has now been a paladin for four years, traveling and offering relief to those who suffer. She's also trained extensively in sword fighting as well as basic first aid, hand to hand combat, and survival skills. She still also reads a lot in her spare time. She is immensely grateful to have found a purpose and will do anything to uphold the ways of Ilmater, even at the cost of her life.
You had me at Victoria serpico. Great name.
It looks really good. But what happened to her family? She was so devoted to them and now she travels around, why isn’t she staying close to help them? Did her siblings get old enough that they don’t need help anymore?
It could depend on the campaign, but to me, a god personally visiting a level 1 character seems odd. It could certainly happen, just seems odd, like you’re starting at the top and where do you go from there? maybe it was an angel of ilmater, or the medic tending her was a cleric of ilmater and she feels a debt to them. Then she can eventually earn a visit from the god itself.
You should work with your DM on those minor nobles — both the one she worked with and the other — since they are solid potential plot hooks. So make sure they have names and you know who they are. Also names for her siblings and parents. Probably there would be a soldier or two from her units who survived, names for a couple of them could be good. Just things to give your DM lots of options to play with.
"It looks really good. But what happened to her family? She was so devoted to them and now she travels around, why isn’t she staying close to help them? Did her siblings get old enough that they don’t need help anymore?"
Yes her siblings did get old enough to not need her though Victoria does stay in touch via letters and sends them money when she can.
"It could depend on the campaign, but to me, a god personally visiting a level 1 character seems odd. It could certainly happen, just seems odd, like you’re starting at the top and where do you go from there? maybe it was an angel of ilmater, or the medic tending her was a cleric of ilmater and she feels a debt to them. Then she can eventually earn a visit from the god itself."
Oof I didn't realize lmao, I'll make some changes to that.
As for the minor nobles and family, I'll make sure to give them names. Thanks so much for the response, I'm very new to dnd so I'll need all the help I can get lol.
I like the story. It's well thought out and entertaining. It, perhaps, is a little bit for a god to be appearing to a non-believer, but there is lore with those stories, certainly representatives of the deity (ala "road to Damascus conversion). You're a good writer.
You inspired me to post my character's backstory. :)
That my friend, is rad. Yeah I don't see issues with the visited by the god thing entirely, but I do also see the points others were making about it. Maybe just a dream of something symbolic of him? Or from what I gathered from my quick google search, he sometimes sent ghosts instead of appearing himself or sending angels, perhaps one of her fallen comrades presented themselves in the dream.