Once, me and my party were in a city, and one of my fellow players was a half elf who was also a child. And they tried pick-pocketing a guard. She failed the slight of hand role, the guard caught her and said that the penalty for stealing, was death. Knowing that if we started a fight with the city guard, we'd end up in jail or be executed, and remembering the marketplace scene from Aladdin, AND being a adult Wood Elf, I immediately rushed to save my fellow player by pretending that I was her mother and that she was a lost child. Thank heavens I succeeded on my charisma role and the guard let us go on a warning. But after the game, the DM scolded me for "embarrassing a fellow player in front of the whole group." I couldn't believe it, I saved her life. Had I done nothing, the guard would have killed her. And if we started a fight with the guard, we'd create a public disturbance, more guards would come and we'd be captured and/or killed. And even if we did escape, there would be wanted posters all over the place.
But short term self respect is so more important then making it through a long term game.
I mean, I'd have thought you embarrassing a player is more of a player to player call rather than something for the DM to step in on, so seems like the DM was being a bit intense regardless of whether you actually embarrassed the other player. Also I don't think you acted outside of what quite a lot of players would do in such a situation, what did the DM expect, that you'd leave the party member to just get killed or something?.
That being said who opts to play as a child in an adventure, that seems like a strange choice.
But after the game, the DM scolded me for "embarrassing a fellow player in front of the whole group."
Looking to throw some benefit of the doubt here: Is it possible that the player said something to the DM and asked them to say something to you?
I mean that's the only reason I can think of to justify scolding a player for something that they did in character like this. I mean, if the player is cool with what you did, then that's the end of it all. If the DM felt you did something that hurt them, that's for the DM to say. But accusing you of embarrassing a 3rd party isn't their place unless said 3rd party asked them too. The player of the half elf is a person with a voice of their own....
Maybe she wanted to try something more unexpected by being a child. I agree that the DM was being too strict. I may have acted patronizing, but that's because I was trying to fool the guard into thinking that she was lost and I was her mother. A simple thank you would have sufficed, or a compliment on quick thinking.
But after the game, the DM scolded me for "embarrassing a fellow player in front of the whole group."
Looking to throw some benefit of the doubt here: Is it possible that the player said something to the DM and asked them to say something to you?
I mean that's the only reason I can think of to justify scolding a player for something that they did in character like this. I mean, if the player is cool with what you did, then that's the end of it all. If the DM felt you did something that hurt them, that's for the DM to say. But accusing you of embarrassing a 3rd party isn't their place unless said 3rd party asked them too. The player of the half elf is a person with a voice of their own....
I don't know if she complained to the DM about this, but had she saved my character's life, I'd be thankful.
I suppose it's possible the child player thought your intervention "steals the moment." As you render the story, the DM's behavior strikes me as odd. So, the forum is left with either "that's a strange DM" or "maybe you're missing something."
As you outlined the case, if I had a player make that sort of complaint, I might have sidebar between the two of you, explain the grievance and apparently validating for reasons I'm not clear of in this exact context, and then figure out how to make sure you both are playing feeling cooperatively.
How/why the player felt offended is unclear. How the player articulated the offense to the DM is unclear. The deliberative process the DM used to decide a course of action is also unclear. So, yeah, odd story.
So, in my shoes, if a DM called me out like that at the table. I'd say something to the effect of "I'm sorry, it wasn't my intent to embarrass anyone, I'm happy to apologize and talk about that moment a bit more so we can go forward respectfully." I mean, did you just roll with the punch? Still in the group? Odd story.
The whole thing sounds absurd. Parties reacting to what other players do is one of the most basic tennets of D&D. If the player playing the child can't handle that character being treated like a child, she shouldn't be playing it. Next time let it die. And if she didn't ask the dm to talk to you, then that dm is being ridiculous.
I suppose it's possible the child player thought your intervention "steals the moment." As you render the story, the DM's behavior strikes me as odd. So, the forum is left with either "that's a strange DM" or "maybe you're missing something."
As you outlined the case, if I had a player make that sort of complaint, I might have sidebar between the two of you, explain the grievance and apparently validating for reasons I'm not clear of in this exact context, and then figure out how to make sure you both are playing feeling cooperatively.
How/why the player felt offended is unclear. How the player articulated the offense to the DM is unclear. The deliberative process the DM used to decide a course of action is also unclear. So, yeah, odd story.
So, in my shoes, if a DM called me out like that at the table. I'd say something to the effect of "I'm sorry, it wasn't my intent to embarrass anyone, I'm happy to apologize and talk about that moment a bit more so we can go forward respectfully." I mean, did you just roll with the punch? Still in the group? Odd story.
I am still in the group. Perhaps it was also a case of our out of universe relationship. The group consists of me, my older brother, his girlfriend, his best friend, and his best friend's fiance. The campaign was our very first one. His best friend's fiance was playing as the half-elf child while my brother was the DM. Perhaps my brother was worried I had offended his best friend's fiance since we were playing at their house.
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Once, me and my party were in a city, and one of my fellow players was a half elf who was also a child. And they tried pick-pocketing a guard. She failed the slight of hand role, the guard caught her and said that the penalty for stealing, was death. Knowing that if we started a fight with the city guard, we'd end up in jail or be executed, and remembering the marketplace scene from Aladdin, AND being a adult Wood Elf, I immediately rushed to save my fellow player by pretending that I was her mother and that she was a lost child. Thank heavens I succeeded on my charisma role and the guard let us go on a warning. But after the game, the DM scolded me for "embarrassing a fellow player in front of the whole group." I couldn't believe it, I saved her life. Had I done nothing, the guard would have killed her. And if we started a fight with the guard, we'd create a public disturbance, more guards would come and we'd be captured and/or killed. And even if we did escape, there would be wanted posters all over the place.
But short term self respect is so more important then making it through a long term game.
I mean, I'd have thought you embarrassing a player is more of a player to player call rather than something for the DM to step in on, so seems like the DM was being a bit intense regardless of whether you actually embarrassed the other player. Also I don't think you acted outside of what quite a lot of players would do in such a situation, what did the DM expect, that you'd leave the party member to just get killed or something?.
That being said who opts to play as a child in an adventure, that seems like a strange choice.
Looking to throw some benefit of the doubt here: Is it possible that the player said something to the DM and asked them to say something to you?
I mean that's the only reason I can think of to justify scolding a player for something that they did in character like this. I mean, if the player is cool with what you did, then that's the end of it all. If the DM felt you did something that hurt them, that's for the DM to say. But accusing you of embarrassing a 3rd party isn't their place unless said 3rd party asked them too. The player of the half elf is a person with a voice of their own....
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Maybe she wanted to try something more unexpected by being a child. I agree that the DM was being too strict. I may have acted patronizing, but that's because I was trying to fool the guard into thinking that she was lost and I was her mother. A simple thank you would have sufficed, or a compliment on quick thinking.
I don't know if she complained to the DM about this, but had she saved my character's life, I'd be thankful.
I suppose it's possible the child player thought your intervention "steals the moment." As you render the story, the DM's behavior strikes me as odd. So, the forum is left with either "that's a strange DM" or "maybe you're missing something."
As you outlined the case, if I had a player make that sort of complaint, I might have sidebar between the two of you, explain the grievance and apparently validating for reasons I'm not clear of in this exact context, and then figure out how to make sure you both are playing feeling cooperatively.
How/why the player felt offended is unclear. How the player articulated the offense to the DM is unclear. The deliberative process the DM used to decide a course of action is also unclear. So, yeah, odd story.
So, in my shoes, if a DM called me out like that at the table. I'd say something to the effect of "I'm sorry, it wasn't my intent to embarrass anyone, I'm happy to apologize and talk about that moment a bit more so we can go forward respectfully." I mean, did you just roll with the punch? Still in the group? Odd story.
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The whole thing sounds absurd. Parties reacting to what other players do is one of the most basic tennets of D&D. If the player playing the child can't handle that character being treated like a child, she shouldn't be playing it. Next time let it die. And if she didn't ask the dm to talk to you, then that dm is being ridiculous.
This is a great example of why, except in very specific circumstances, you don't want one of the characters to be a child.
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
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I am still in the group. Perhaps it was also a case of our out of universe relationship. The group consists of me, my older brother, his girlfriend, his best friend, and his best friend's fiance. The campaign was our very first one. His best friend's fiance was playing as the half-elf child while my brother was the DM. Perhaps my brother was worried I had offended his best friend's fiance since we were playing at their house.