I've wanted to play D&D with a close group of friends for a really long time now. I'm willing to be the DM. A while back (Januaryish), I tried to get some of my friends to read the rulebook - some of them did, but one of them (let's call her J) just took it and kept it for a couple months without reading it (she's not great at communicating). I don't know whether she just wasn't interested or whether she had an issue with another friend's brother wanting to join. J and brother guy just really don't get along and constantly argue about every little thing when they're together (although sometimes they're all right). It would be difficult to tell the brother that he can't play because he's the same age as us and sort of in our friend group. Also, his mom gets mad at us if we shut him out of anything (rightfully so, but it's difficult to do much with J when the brother is there).
Will I sound pushy if I ask again? I'm not sure whether they were actually interested in playing or just humoring me. I know you guys don't know enough to tell me what's going on, but do you have any tips on asking without sounding pushy? Or tips on keeping the brother out? He's a nice guy, but I'm just better friends with J and I would rather have her in my group.
Apologies in advance if this is the wrong place to ask for this sort of advice.
You can't drag people kicking and screaming to RPGs. If you suggested it and they were 'meh', you will only set yourself up for a rough time trying to push it.
You want to be DM - that's good. You don't want to be asking people to play D&D and then say "one of you DM!" But I think you should try to find people who actively want to play or at least want to try it.
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WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
I didn't want to say it, but handing out the rules was probably a mistake. The rules can be intimidating to some folks and since they don't know what it's about, it can be a turn off.
That's why I suggested having a sit down and playing make-believe.
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"Sooner or later, your Players are going to smash your railroad into a sandbox."
-Vedexent
"real life is a super high CR."
-OboeLauren
"............anybody got any potatoes? We could drop a potato in each hole an' see which ones get viciously mauled by horrible monsters?"
Don't expect people to read the rulebook before they play. Just say 'Hey, want to try D&D?' And if they bite, arrange a time to get together, sit down and help them make characters. It's really only important that they read about their race and class. You could even offer to make a pre-generated character or try to get a few preferences of what general archetype they want (oh, you want to be a mystical elf wizard? You want to be a badass human fighter?) and make their character for them.
The key to getting people to play is a low cost of entry. And by cost I mean time and mental capacity. People are busy, and while some might be super keen and really into it, others might grow to like it but don't want to put in a lot of effort at first.
In 5e, it's okay to learn the rules as you go as long as the DM knows the rules. Just make it fun and they will eventually buy in and get better.
In 5e, it's okay to learn the rules as you go as long as the DM knows the rules. Just make it fun and they will eventually buy in and get better.
I would agree, except I would add, since the 1970s, and with any RPG, you can only really learn as you go. It's nearly impossible to read a set of RPG rules and have any feel for how the game actually plays without.... well... playing it.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
Thanks everyone! I think that this will help a lot, especially the part about not whacking them with all the rules right away. I remember having way too much fun reading the rules, which is why I thought getting my friends to read them would be a good idea, but I can definitely see how it would be intimidating.
Before all this COVID garbage happened I had plans to take the books with me to my sister's house and try to teach my 12 year old nephew D&D. I would NOT have told him "here read the rules." I would have sat him down and described in flowery language what the game is like, and then told him the character classes and some basic races like elves and dwarves and asked him what he would like to play... then make up a character and off we go.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
I agree with everybody that the "here is the rule book, read it" is the wrong way to start. The book is huge a full of stuff a player doesn't need to know right away.
The best is to start playing an explain things little by little. Create the character sheet and explain the basic (use a D20 and add the number from here to do stuff). Explain the classes and races on a more roleplaying way rather than focusing on the rules. This is how I did to introduce some friends to D&D as their first RPG, they didn't read the rules and they never will, but they now understand how their character works and how to play the game.
I'd say that even myself, when playing a new RPG, I never read the rulebook, the DM explain how the system works and we learn while playing. I usually only read the rules for my race+class, but no way the whole book.
he best is to start playing an explain things little by little.
This is, in fact, how we learned when I was a kid. My friend and I bought the basic set, and he DMed and I started playing. As we went along we looked stuff up as needed.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
Oof.. Do you have nice friends? One of my friends managed to drag me and our friends to an antique market in the rain for hours. She was enthousiastic about it, managed to pin a date and one other person and suddenly all others followed like sheep. Enthusiasm is more infectious than COVID-19.
Also, put effort in it. Make a special invitation, hinting about the story. Possibly you can prepare characters for all of them up front (which makes things easier to skip session zero and makes sure you are more in control.)
Now, the friends who don't collide, that part is tricky. I'd say invite both of them if that makes you happy. If you don't value your friendship with the brother, don't invite him. Just be upfront and honest with him. Also, even if you only invite J, be upfront with your feelings. Isn't D&D about relating in other characters?
I've wanted to play D&D with a close group of friends for a really long time now. I'm willing to be the DM. A while back (Januaryish), I tried to get some of my friends to read the rulebook - some of them did, but one of them (let's call her J) just took it and kept it for a couple months without reading it (she's not great at communicating). I don't know whether she just wasn't interested or whether she had an issue with another friend's brother wanting to join. J and brother guy just really don't get along and constantly argue about every little thing when they're together (although sometimes they're all right). It would be difficult to tell the brother that he can't play because he's the same age as us and sort of in our friend group. Also, his mom gets mad at us if we shut him out of anything (rightfully so, but it's difficult to do much with J when the brother is there).
Will I sound pushy if I ask again? I'm not sure whether they were actually interested in playing or just humoring me. I know you guys don't know enough to tell me what's going on, but do you have any tips on asking without sounding pushy? Or tips on keeping the brother out? He's a nice guy, but I'm just better friends with J and I would rather have her in my group.
Apologies in advance if this is the wrong place to ask for this sort of advice.
Generate a couple sample character sheets, load up some dice.
When you are all together, hand them out, and drop them into a situation you find interesting.
They don't need to know all the rules. They only need the rules when a rule situation comes up.
"Sooner or later, your Players are going to smash your railroad into a sandbox."
-Vedexent
"real life is a super high CR."
-OboeLauren
"............anybody got any potatoes? We could drop a potato in each hole an' see which ones get viciously mauled by horrible monsters?"
-Ilyara Thundertale
You can't drag people kicking and screaming to RPGs. If you suggested it and they were 'meh', you will only set yourself up for a rough time trying to push it.
You want to be DM - that's good. You don't want to be asking people to play D&D and then say "one of you DM!" But I think you should try to find people who actively want to play or at least want to try it.
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
I didn't want to say it, but handing out the rules was probably a mistake. The rules can be intimidating to some folks and since they don't know what it's about, it can be a turn off.
That's why I suggested having a sit down and playing make-believe.
"Sooner or later, your Players are going to smash your railroad into a sandbox."
-Vedexent
"real life is a super high CR."
-OboeLauren
"............anybody got any potatoes? We could drop a potato in each hole an' see which ones get viciously mauled by horrible monsters?"
-Ilyara Thundertale
Don't expect people to read the rulebook before they play. Just say 'Hey, want to try D&D?' And if they bite, arrange a time to get together, sit down and help them make characters. It's really only important that they read about their race and class. You could even offer to make a pre-generated character or try to get a few preferences of what general archetype they want (oh, you want to be a mystical elf wizard? You want to be a badass human fighter?) and make their character for them.
The key to getting people to play is a low cost of entry. And by cost I mean time and mental capacity. People are busy, and while some might be super keen and really into it, others might grow to like it but don't want to put in a lot of effort at first.
In 5e, it's okay to learn the rules as you go as long as the DM knows the rules. Just make it fun and they will eventually buy in and get better.
I would agree, except I would add, since the 1970s, and with any RPG, you can only really learn as you go. It's nearly impossible to read a set of RPG rules and have any feel for how the game actually plays without.... well... playing it.
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
Thanks everyone! I think that this will help a lot, especially the part about not whacking them with all the rules right away. I remember having way too much fun reading the rules, which is why I thought getting my friends to read them would be a good idea, but I can definitely see how it would be intimidating.
Yeah definitely not.
Before all this COVID garbage happened I had plans to take the books with me to my sister's house and try to teach my 12 year old nephew D&D. I would NOT have told him "here read the rules." I would have sat him down and described in flowery language what the game is like, and then told him the character classes and some basic races like elves and dwarves and asked him what he would like to play... then make up a character and off we go.
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
I agree with everybody that the "here is the rule book, read it" is the wrong way to start. The book is huge a full of stuff a player doesn't need to know right away.
The best is to start playing an explain things little by little. Create the character sheet and explain the basic (use a D20 and add the number from here to do stuff). Explain the classes and races on a more roleplaying way rather than focusing on the rules. This is how I did to introduce some friends to D&D as their first RPG, they didn't read the rules and they never will, but they now understand how their character works and how to play the game.
I'd say that even myself, when playing a new RPG, I never read the rulebook, the DM explain how the system works and we learn while playing. I usually only read the rules for my race+class, but no way the whole book.
Resource from Matt Colville
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1wV-KWE3e9jDXFUWCSDfVmc708QTU1fPl/view
"Sooner or later, your Players are going to smash your railroad into a sandbox."
-Vedexent
"real life is a super high CR."
-OboeLauren
"............anybody got any potatoes? We could drop a potato in each hole an' see which ones get viciously mauled by horrible monsters?"
-Ilyara Thundertale
Wow, this forum is very informative, Thanks
This is, in fact, how we learned when I was a kid. My friend and I bought the basic set, and he DMed and I started playing. As we went along we looked stuff up as needed.
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
Cool
Oof.. Do you have nice friends? One of my friends managed to drag me and our friends to an antique market in the rain for hours. She was enthousiastic about it, managed to pin a date and one other person and suddenly all others followed like sheep. Enthusiasm is more infectious than COVID-19.
Also, put effort in it. Make a special invitation, hinting about the story. Possibly you can prepare characters for all of them up front (which makes things easier to skip session zero and makes sure you are more in control.)
Now, the friends who don't collide, that part is tricky. I'd say invite both of them if that makes you happy. If you don't value your friendship with the brother, don't invite him. Just be upfront and honest with him. Also, even if you only invite J, be upfront with your feelings. Isn't D&D about relating in other characters?
You should defo ask J to join again
I’m actually good at stuff like this. PM me if you want more advice.