I DM for a 4 person D&D campaign with some friends. Mostly, our campaigns are very enjoyable, but one player in particular is always on their phone or laptop during the session, and I know that they are not looking at their character sheet. It is hard to DM for people are that not paying attention at all, and when nobody is engaged in the campaign, despite my having asked them to pay attention, it can feel insulting. Additionally, although myself and all of the other players make a effort to keep the 3-hour block in which we play D&D free, this player is constantly not free to play when we are all playing, and does not want to find another time to play. This means that we have not been able to play for several weeks, and that when we do play, they end up being unengaged and dragging on the enthusiasm of the campaign. I am unsure what to do about this player's behavior. Does anyone have any suggestions?

The answer to these issues is always this: have an out-of- game, person to person conversation with the player just you and them. Be frank about how you're feeling. Be honest. Remind them that you put a decent amount of work into planning your game, and the other players make an effort to stay involved and attentive, and it can feel disrespectful when they dismiss all of that. 

Ask them if they have anything they'd like to bring up. Is anything not working for them? Is there a reason they're not feeling invested? Talk through it and see if there's a way to resolve it. If there isn't, do not force it. You might just have to come to an agreement as friends that your playstyles aren't compatible-- which is fine! There's so many types of players and play styles that really the odds of just any group of friends coming together at the table and being perfect together are pretty high. As Matt Colville says; "not every band is Rush."

If they decide to leave the game, or it seems like there's no other alternative, ask if they want to bring the discussion to the group. Does the group want to change things up to make the player feel more catered to? Does the player even want to be catered to? Make sure you talk it out outside of game before coming to final decisions. Communication is #1.

I second CharesthePlant.

And to go a step further, honestly, it sounds like they don't actually want to play. I this person someone's passive-aggressive SO or something and they got dragged along grudgingly? because that's the way this reads. I'd actually ask them directly if they want to be there at all. Could also be they're trying out D&D for the first time, and maybe its not right for them. If they say they really want to be there, then I'd go into Charlestheplant's talk about how it's really disrespectful, not only to you, but also to the other players. This person is wasting everyone's time.

And schedule-wise, that brings up a whole different issue. In every game I've been a part of since I've been an adult out in the world -- and that's been a long time -- we always build in extra players. We usually have a group of 6-7 or so at any time, with the expectation that 1-2 will have to miss any given session for life-related reasons. So, if this person can't play regularly, and is still going to play, you might look at adding a couple more people, so you end up with a quorum regularly. And be prepared that even then, you may need to cancel a session or two.

Quote from Xalthu >>

I second CharesthePlant.

And to go a step further, honestly, it sounds like they don't actually want to play. I this person someone's passive-aggressive SO or something and they got dragged along grudgingly? because that's the way this reads. I'd actually ask them directly if they want to be there at all. Could also be they're trying out D&D for the first time, and maybe its not right for them.

 One point  that also you might bring up if this IS a new person earnestly trying to get into the hobby but nevertheless bouncing off it, is that a casual approach like one would take to a video game isn't really don't to work the same way in a TTRPG. Maybe they don't know this. Explain to them that in tabletop games, you really do get the fun out of them that you put *into* them. You're an active party taking part in the game, not a passive observer pushing buttons. Many people coming from the video game world (which at some point is everyone, that's just the entrainment landscape we live in) don't consider this-- because why would they? The TTRPG experience is just that unique, and the only way to really get there is to get there. 

I don't know how much of your game requires phones and laptops, but you may considering making a rule to stay off them for most of the session.  Some people just can't resist checking their phone and accounts.  If the player is genuinely not interested, it is best for your group and them to part ways.  Agree with the above that only an in depth, unhurried conversation will find this out.

Thank you for the advice! I'll make sure to have a talk with this person about their behavior at the table and whether D&D is working for them. Again, thanks for the advice about this player.

My first question, as it has been an issue in the past, is whether or not the player has any specific attention issues. beyond that Charlestheplant above hit it on the head. Talk to them and figure it out. It may actually improve the whole campaign.

If that doesn't work, or they improve and then slip back into "ghost-mode" then my house rule is:

If you aren't present for the beginning of an adventure/module/quest then your character is left behind. If your character is there and you miss sessions then your PC becomes an NPC for the session and gains no XP or treasure for that session. 

If they aren't paying attention then they take actions with disadvantage and or ignorance.

they should then either shape up or ship out, D&D isn't for everyone and the adventure must go on!

Scheduling can often be hard - school, work, kids,..

My group understands that if one person can't make it, we might play without them. We know it isn't personal just that we all have things going on and are thankful for the time we do get when we can play. The PC gets sidelined and I used to hold back exp, but in the end I feel its better to keep the party aligned regarding levels. It's punishment enough to miss game time and possible loot. 

Remove them from the group, they clearly don’t care and they’re making the game worse for everyone else.

It’s a sharp answer but it’s typically the correct one.