This is going to be my first adventure as a DM, and the first time my kids and my WIFE are going to play ever. I want to draw them into a world where I have spent most of my life, so I need advice. Should I purchase a DM screen or leave it open so they can see me rolling and figuring things out - gives them more of a "behind the scenes" view... I can explain what is going on and keep them interested during what is usually the "boring part". Should i purchase the map stuff or just do like I have always done and hand draw it on paper, messy and to the point? We will not be using pieces, except for the fact my son wanted to paint some - so maybe we can paint some up and use them as markers??? Should I make the first few encounters really easy, so they can get used to the mechanics of rolling and taking their turns, (I am not saying I am going to "cheat" but... the dice gods can also fudge themselves a little if you know what i mean)...
If anyone has some sage wisdom to hand my way I am open to it, please... I want my family to enjoy this as much as I do; as a disabled veteran I really enjoy when my family wants to do the things that I enjoy, so I am very excited about this.
As long as you are focusing on the session being family time, then you don't need to stress over it. They are there to spend time with you, and that's what matters most.
(1) Go after a "Classic" experience. Go ahead and get the DM screen, you can always roll on the table if you want to.
(2) Manage expectations early. Don't invest in expensive accessories unless you are prepared to keep it up. If you can afford a virtual Tabletop like Roll20, then you can get a lot of mileage out of it. If not, then hand drawn works well (1 inch grid Easel paper works great), as does printing them and taping them together.
(3a) For new adults and mature children, I would recommend giving them some bumpers on their first combat, but also being transparent about it. Treat it like a video game tutorial, so that they know that mistakes are fine at first, but that they won't be coddled later.
(3b) For younger children, focus on storytelling. Let them be the hero of their story. Help them keep track of their hitpoints, so that they can learn, but encourage them participate in describing how they manage to avoid certain death. As they become more comfortable, you can try introducing them to less 'heroic' characters to play. As with anyone, it's important to set expectations early, so that they feel in control throughout the experience. If you can get them to play a canonically "unlucky" character for a one-shot or two, then they might learn to appreciate the follies as much as the successes and grow from the experience.
(4) It is always worthwhile to focus on each player's personal worldview. Engage enthusiastically with their character creation process. Ask thoughtful questions about their backstory and personality. Write down unique traits and actively reference those when they are interacting with the environment and NPCs. People want to feel heard, and having the barkeep nervously ask the paladin about their unusual scar will help them feel important and well immersed.
(5) Make the session bigger than the game. If your wife has any compatible hobbies, find a way to tie it in. If your family are adventurous eaters, then make themed snacks. Make it a D&D-themed family night, rather than a Family-themed D&D session.
Whatever you do, don't force it. If either your wife or child just aren't feeling it that day, then take a step back and focus on their needs. If they just want to decompress, then maybe suggest watching a fantasy adventure movie instead. Let it be an inspiration day, rather than a play day.
Great advice thank you! We just discussed a few things and are going to do homemade pizza's and character creations tonight - I am going to go off the characters for the first day of adventure this weekend. Lets roll... (literally) lol
The main thing is you know your wife and kids better than anyone here does - you know what interests them, what they're like as people. So use that knowledge to aim for a game that covers as many of their interests (and yours, you have to have fun too) as possible and you'll do okay. Make sure they know they're not playing themselves and you're not out to get them. Be sure they know that while it's a game it's not necessarily a competition with you, that you're collaborating to make an exciting story together.
On a more practical level... You're a first time DMing so ease yourself and them into the game mechanics gradually, giving you all plenty of room to make mistakes. If you all get engaged in the mechanics then you can ramp that up until you all are at a level you feel comfy with. The same goes for combat encounters - start easy and increase the difficulty until you get the level of drama and peril you're all good with.
I love the sound and "feel" of the opening post, to be honest. I am a dad who plays with my kids (can't seem to get wife interested) and while my son DM's most (they are adults, 22 and 25) I run some and we enjoy it immensely. I like how you're coming at it, with an idea to ease everyone in (including the new DM) with "easy" combats to start. Keep in mind, at level 1, some "easy" combats can shift quickly with a bad die roll or so. DM screens are gold for this....party is getting stomped, goblin3 rolls a nat 20. DM looks at reference, "Do I kill mom?" Tells the party "He lunges forward, swinging wildly and you dip to the side just in time, the attack misses!"
A stress test I saw used, to gauge the party's strength involved them coming to a goblin village where the goblins were killing people when they raided farms and caravans. he party started fighting, and more goblins would come, returning from scouting, or whatever, until it looked like the party had had enough. Gave the DM a way to see how well the party worked, what they would do, in a little more drawn out fight. Can be cut off at any time, even a group of things, a couple can flee if the party has killed a couple, but you can see they likely won't kill them ALL lol.
Working together, on creation, managing HP and resources, will help everyone get more out of it and help everyone bond, too. As mentioned, DM can hint or guide a little at the beginning, reminding some characters of abilities or what not, as they get the feel for it. Noting that you won't always offer advice on how to kill your monsters will often net a chuckle and get them all even more invested, trying to make sure they don't miss a cool thing they could do at the right time. Family competition is great, especially when there is but a single goal...fun!
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Talk to your Players.Talk to your DM. If more people used this advice, there would be 24.74% fewer threads on Tactics, Rules and DM discussions.
My wife said "I watched you play with the "nerds" at the "nerdery" referring to the comic book store, we live in a small town so it was pretty funny to see me there, I am a pretty well known guy, and most people didn't know that I play, they know me for my military and my hunting, I just showed up to prove that judging the book by its cover just makes you an ass... but her next comment caught me off guard... "You were brutal. Clever, intelligent, strategic, but brutal. I know that you understand this is family, and you will do your best to make it enjoyable, but your brutality has me worried, are you sure you can make a campaign user friendly for children?" It isn't that she is worried I am going to kill them, or make it hard, it is that she is worried I am going to let my past, and my trauma slide into the playing time, so that will be the biggest thing to watch - less brutality, and more focus on the other aspects, less detail on - "as the dwarf raised his hammer, blood streaking down the oaken haft, the sun caught in his eyes, energy buzzed within his hands and the hatred born into him seemed to radiate even to the strands of beard flowing in the light breeze, the young orc begged for mercy through his broken teeth as the hammer took flight silencing the voice with a thud and cracking of bones, he grunted through the impact and stepped forward as if asking... who's next?" more focus on "the tavern sat warmly in the frozen night, the air seemed to grasp at your breath trying to rob you of life with is frigid anger, you made your way across the alley and through the door, the smells of mead and bread were more welcoming then anything you could think of the night before, sitting under the night sky praying only to see day break so you could push further from the nightmare behind you."
1) no don't buy a DM screen that's for your christmas list instead of dad socks 2) Stick with what your comfortable with ie drawing 3) incorporating something you son is into ie painting figures sounds like win win 4) should I make it easy encounters to start fudge things? as Jegpeg pointed out to me first rule of D&D (ensure everyone has fun).
advice don't do mega long sessions try and keep things short and keep em wanting more... Sly Flourish is definitely worth Checking out https://slyflourish.com/
Have fun wishing you and family all the best
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
“It cannot be seen, cannot be felt, Cannot be heard, cannot be smelt, It lies behind stars and under hills, And empty holes it fills, It comes first and follows after, Ends life, kills laughter.” J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit, or There and Back Again
So my favorite starting encounter is 2 goblins and a goblin boss that act somewhere between the three stooges and the three musketeers depending on how the party is doing. (If the party is having a rough time the boss may waste a turn "encouraging" his companions. If the party ambushes and immediately kills two goblins, a couple goblin scouts return to report to the boss and join the combat). I usually start with your generic goblins in the woods harassing caravan go scare them off quest.
Edit: the main point being you can scale difficulty with monster intelligence. Three goblins beating each other up are easier to handle than three in a formation.
Great advice thank you! We just discussed a few things and are going to do homemade pizza's and character creations tonight - I am going to go off the characters for the first day of adventure this weekend. Lets roll... (literally) lol
*Inserts moment of silence for Todd Beamer*
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Hi, I am not a chest. I deny with 100% certainty that I am a chest. I can neither confirm nor deny what I am beyond that.
I used to portray Krathian, Q'ilbrith, Jim, Tara, Turin, Nathan, Tench, Finn, Alvin, and other characters in various taverns.
This is going to be my first adventure as a DM, and the first time my kids and my WIFE are going to play ever. I want to draw them into a world where I have spent most of my life, so I need advice.
Should I purchase a DM screen or leave it open so they can see me rolling and figuring things out - gives them more of a "behind the scenes" view... I can explain what is going on and keep them interested during what is usually the "boring part".
Should i purchase the map stuff or just do like I have always done and hand draw it on paper, messy and to the point? We will not be using pieces, except for the fact my son wanted to paint some - so maybe we can paint some up and use them as markers???
Should I make the first few encounters really easy, so they can get used to the mechanics of rolling and taking their turns, (I am not saying I am going to "cheat" but... the dice gods can also fudge themselves a little if you know what i mean)...
If anyone has some sage wisdom to hand my way I am open to it, please... I want my family to enjoy this as much as I do; as a disabled veteran I really enjoy when my family wants to do the things that I enjoy, so I am very excited about this.
As long as you are focusing on the session being family time, then you don't need to stress over it. They are there to spend time with you, and that's what matters most.
(1) Go after a "Classic" experience. Go ahead and get the DM screen, you can always roll on the table if you want to.
(2) Manage expectations early. Don't invest in expensive accessories unless you are prepared to keep it up. If you can afford a virtual Tabletop like Roll20, then you can get a lot of mileage out of it. If not, then hand drawn works well (1 inch grid Easel paper works great), as does printing them and taping them together.
(3a) For new adults and mature children, I would recommend giving them some bumpers on their first combat, but also being transparent about it. Treat it like a video game tutorial, so that they know that mistakes are fine at first, but that they won't be coddled later.
(3b) For younger children, focus on storytelling. Let them be the hero of their story. Help them keep track of their hitpoints, so that they can learn, but encourage them participate in describing how they manage to avoid certain death. As they become more comfortable, you can try introducing them to less 'heroic' characters to play. As with anyone, it's important to set expectations early, so that they feel in control throughout the experience. If you can get them to play a canonically "unlucky" character for a one-shot or two, then they might learn to appreciate the follies as much as the successes and grow from the experience.
(4) It is always worthwhile to focus on each player's personal worldview. Engage enthusiastically with their character creation process. Ask thoughtful questions about their backstory and personality. Write down unique traits and actively reference those when they are interacting with the environment and NPCs. People want to feel heard, and having the barkeep nervously ask the paladin about their unusual scar will help them feel important and well immersed.
(5) Make the session bigger than the game. If your wife has any compatible hobbies, find a way to tie it in. If your family are adventurous eaters, then make themed snacks. Make it a D&D-themed family night, rather than a Family-themed D&D session.
Whatever you do, don't force it. If either your wife or child just aren't feeling it that day, then take a step back and focus on their needs. If they just want to decompress, then maybe suggest watching a fantasy adventure movie instead. Let it be an inspiration day, rather than a play day.
Great advice thank you! We just discussed a few things and are going to do homemade pizza's and character creations tonight - I am going to go off the characters for the first day of adventure this weekend. Lets roll... (literally) lol
The main thing is you know your wife and kids better than anyone here does - you know what interests them, what they're like as people. So use that knowledge to aim for a game that covers as many of their interests (and yours, you have to have fun too) as possible and you'll do okay. Make sure they know they're not playing themselves and you're not out to get them. Be sure they know that while it's a game it's not necessarily a competition with you, that you're collaborating to make an exciting story together.
On a more practical level... You're a first time DMing so ease yourself and them into the game mechanics gradually, giving you all plenty of room to make mistakes. If you all get engaged in the mechanics then you can ramp that up until you all are at a level you feel comfy with. The same goes for combat encounters - start easy and increase the difficulty until you get the level of drama and peril you're all good with.
I love the sound and "feel" of the opening post, to be honest. I am a dad who plays with my kids (can't seem to get wife interested) and while my son DM's most (they are adults, 22 and 25) I run some and we enjoy it immensely. I like how you're coming at it, with an idea to ease everyone in (including the new DM) with "easy" combats to start. Keep in mind, at level 1, some "easy" combats can shift quickly with a bad die roll or so. DM screens are gold for this....party is getting stomped, goblin3 rolls a nat 20. DM looks at reference, "Do I kill mom?" Tells the party "He lunges forward, swinging wildly and you dip to the side just in time, the attack misses!"
A stress test I saw used, to gauge the party's strength involved them coming to a goblin village where the goblins were killing people when they raided farms and caravans. he party started fighting, and more goblins would come, returning from scouting, or whatever, until it looked like the party had had enough. Gave the DM a way to see how well the party worked, what they would do, in a little more drawn out fight. Can be cut off at any time, even a group of things, a couple can flee if the party has killed a couple, but you can see they likely won't kill them ALL lol.
Working together, on creation, managing HP and resources, will help everyone get more out of it and help everyone bond, too. As mentioned, DM can hint or guide a little at the beginning, reminding some characters of abilities or what not, as they get the feel for it. Noting that you won't always offer advice on how to kill your monsters will often net a chuckle and get them all even more invested, trying to make sure they don't miss a cool thing they could do at the right time. Family competition is great, especially when there is but a single goal...fun!
Talk to your Players. Talk to your DM. If more people used this advice, there would be 24.74% fewer threads on Tactics, Rules and DM discussions.
My wife said "I watched you play with the "nerds" at the "nerdery" referring to the comic book store, we live in a small town so it was pretty funny to see me there, I am a pretty well known guy, and most people didn't know that I play, they know me for my military and my hunting, I just showed up to prove that judging the book by its cover just makes you an ass... but her next comment caught me off guard...
"You were brutal. Clever, intelligent, strategic, but brutal. I know that you understand this is family, and you will do your best to make it enjoyable, but your brutality has me worried, are you sure you can make a campaign user friendly for children?"
It isn't that she is worried I am going to kill them, or make it hard, it is that she is worried I am going to let my past, and my trauma slide into the playing time, so that will be the biggest thing to watch - less brutality, and more focus on the other aspects, less detail on - "as the dwarf raised his hammer, blood streaking down the oaken haft, the sun caught in his eyes, energy buzzed within his hands and the hatred born into him seemed to radiate even to the strands of beard flowing in the light breeze, the young orc begged for mercy through his broken teeth as the hammer took flight silencing the voice with a thud and cracking of bones, he grunted through the impact and stepped forward as if asking... who's next?" more focus on "the tavern sat warmly in the frozen night, the air seemed to grasp at your breath trying to rob you of life with is frigid anger, you made your way across the alley and through the door, the smells of mead and bread were more welcoming then anything you could think of the night before, sitting under the night sky praying only to see day break so you could push further from the nightmare behind you."
1) no don't buy a DM screen that's for your christmas list instead of dad socks
2) Stick with what your comfortable with ie drawing
3) incorporating something you son is into ie painting figures sounds like win win
4) should I make it easy encounters to start fudge things? as Jegpeg pointed out to me first rule of D&D (ensure everyone has fun).
advice don't do mega long sessions try and keep things short and keep em wanting more...
Sly Flourish is definitely worth Checking out https://slyflourish.com/
Have fun wishing you and family all the best
“It cannot be seen, cannot be felt, Cannot be heard, cannot be smelt, It lies behind stars and under hills, And empty holes it fills, It comes first and follows after, Ends life, kills laughter.” J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit, or There and Back Again
So my favorite starting encounter is 2 goblins and a goblin boss that act somewhere between the three stooges and the three musketeers depending on how the party is doing. (If the party is having a rough time the boss may waste a turn "encouraging" his companions. If the party ambushes and immediately kills two goblins, a couple goblin scouts return to report to the boss and join the combat). I usually start with your generic goblins in the woods harassing caravan go scare them off quest.
Edit: the main point being you can scale difficulty with monster intelligence. Three goblins beating each other up are easier to handle than three in a formation.
*Inserts moment of silence for Todd Beamer*
Hi, I am not a chest. I deny with 100% certainty that I am a chest. I can neither confirm nor deny what I am beyond that.
I used to portray Krathian, Q'ilbrith, Jim, Tara, Turin, Nathan, Tench, Finn, Alvin, and other characters in various taverns.
I also do homebrew, check out my Spells and Magic Items
"That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange eons, even death may die"