Awful, in my opinion. He used to play at lunch (I never participated, different lunch time) with a group of people that didn't really take anything seriously. In just two sessions, he has randomly overpowered enemies that were pushovers 2 seconds ago, added in references to books that we've read that have no purpose in the story except to spout some bs and randomly nearly kill our char and then not matter, and we have gotten nearly nothing done. I think he's just used to bsing around, but I hate it, and he insists on DMing. Not playing with him is p much out of the question (closest friend by far, known eachother for years), but it still bothers me. What should I do?
Based only on what you say, I feel it's best you stop playing with him, otherwise the frustration of not having fun (as I gather you are not really having fun playing like this) might pile up and endanger your friendship.
It's best to lose a game than to lose a friend. Just be honest with him and tell him that you would like a bit more seriousness and consistency when playing D&D, and as you do not want to force everyone to play as you would like (I gather the others do not really mind this) you'd rather get out of the party. If he's your best friend, he'll understand.
If the other players as well do not really like this way of DMing, though, you should talk to him, and again be as honest and as tactful as possible, and tell him that people are starting to find his conduction confusing and are losing a bit on the fun side. Maybe propose to switch DM duty for a short adventure yourself, just to see if changing DM might work and maybe "open" his eyes.
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Born in Italy, moved a bunch, living in Spain, my heart always belonged to Roleplaying Games
Thanks, and to clear things up, only one other person is playing, and I can't tell what he thinks about it (he's pretty quiet/doesn't speak up much. Not afraid, just generally not an outspoken person). I am enjoying it sometimes, but it gets old quick, and we ended both sessions with very little accomplished imo. It took the entire second session to reach a town supposed to be a mile or so from the castle b/c we were messing around. I am already trying to see if he wants to participate in a one-shot I'm starting to work on, but no response yet. I will talk with the other player and decide what to do from there. Thanks again.
There's nothing wrong with telling someone you're not having fun. That's where it starts, a conversation. Holding it in and just going along won't make it any better. For all your friend knows you're loving the way you guys are playing. If you want him to be "more serious" about the game, let him know that, if he doesn't want to, then find a new game that you both will have fun with (or all three, as you mentioned a 3rd person). My best friend and I love video games, I hate FPS, he hates RPG's -- as such we don't play them together. Doesn't make us any less of friends, there's plenty of other things we do.
When you have the conversation, be sure to highlight the things you've enjoyed. If you come from a place of wanting more of something he's doing, he'll probably be more receptive.
I want to second all that has been said by LeK, Mehetmet, and LandoRasputin thus far. It's all exactly the advice I'd have given were I first to see this thread.
Thanks all of you, I will take all of this into account. Especially @LandoRasputin, I will emphasize some stuff I've liked, as there are very minor parts that have absolutely shined. I hope this will work out.
Tell him you want to run a straight module. From the book, by the book. Tomb of Horrors is an easy sell. It's got zombie dinosaurs and was written with consultation from Pendleton Ward.
Not for your sake. It might be a great guiding tool for your fruend. I do almost exclusively homebrew, but I read all the modules to understand structure and balance better.
In general DMs should be asking their players what they want out of a story, and do their best to provide a story that is both fun to put in front of the players and filled with what they players wanted so they get to have fun too.
It sounds like he's more interested in his way of DMing and having fun than he is with what you (or all of you) want out of it? You could ask him if he'd be willing to talk to the players about what they want and try to cater a story that everyone is happy with. If he's not interested, then your best bet is to let him DM and go find another game somewhere else. You can be appreciative that he has a DMing style and he wants to have fun telling the story, but that you don't want to ruin his game because you are looking for something different out of it.
Pick your moment away from the game and let him know that you sometimes find the way he is DMing difficult. I would say you enjoy playing with him but when he goes over the top it gets annoying. I would even make up a funny sign to hold up during the game 'Too much' or 'Getting off track' or 'wtf!?' to let him know
Another idea is to say you would really love a turn dming and then model to him the sort of game you want to play.
Regardless, as hard as it may be, you need to let him know, stop playing or risk losing a friend. Good luck
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Awful, in my opinion. He used to play at lunch (I never participated, different lunch time) with a group of people that didn't really take anything seriously. In just two sessions, he has randomly overpowered enemies that were pushovers 2 seconds ago, added in references to books that we've read that have no purpose in the story except to spout some bs and randomly nearly kill our char and then not matter, and we have gotten nearly nothing done. I think he's just used to bsing around, but I hate it, and he insists on DMing. Not playing with him is p much out of the question (closest friend by far, known eachother for years), but it still bothers me. What should I do?
Thanks
Based only on what you say, I feel it's best you stop playing with him, otherwise the frustration of not having fun (as I gather you are not really having fun playing like this) might pile up and endanger your friendship.
It's best to lose a game than to lose a friend. Just be honest with him and tell him that you would like a bit more seriousness and consistency when playing D&D, and as you do not want to force everyone to play as you would like (I gather the others do not really mind this) you'd rather get out of the party.
If he's your best friend, he'll understand.
If the other players as well do not really like this way of DMing, though, you should talk to him, and again be as honest and as tactful as possible, and tell him that people are starting to find his conduction confusing and are losing a bit on the fun side.
Maybe propose to switch DM duty for a short adventure yourself, just to see if changing DM might work and maybe "open" his eyes.
Born in Italy, moved a bunch, living in Spain, my heart always belonged to Roleplaying Games
Thanks, and to clear things up, only one other person is playing, and I can't tell what he thinks about it (he's pretty quiet/doesn't speak up much. Not afraid, just generally not an outspoken person). I am enjoying it sometimes, but it gets old quick, and we ended both sessions with very little accomplished imo. It took the entire second session to reach a town supposed to be a mile or so from the castle b/c we were messing around. I am already trying to see if he wants to participate in a one-shot I'm starting to work on, but no response yet. I will talk with the other player and decide what to do from there. Thanks again.
There's nothing wrong with telling someone you're not having fun. That's where it starts, a conversation. Holding it in and just going along won't make it any better. For all your friend knows you're loving the way you guys are playing. If you want him to be "more serious" about the game, let him know that, if he doesn't want to, then find a new game that you both will have fun with (or all three, as you mentioned a 3rd person). My best friend and I love video games, I hate FPS, he hates RPG's -- as such we don't play them together. Doesn't make us any less of friends, there's plenty of other things we do.
How do you get a one-armed goblin out of a tree?
Wave!
When you have the conversation, be sure to highlight the things you've enjoyed. If you come from a place of wanting more of something he's doing, he'll probably be more receptive.
I want to second all that has been said by LeK, Mehetmet, and LandoRasputin thus far. It's all exactly the advice I'd have given were I first to see this thread.
Thanks all of you, I will take all of this into account. Especially @LandoRasputin, I will emphasize some stuff I've liked, as there are very minor parts that have absolutely shined. I hope this will work out.
Can't thank enough
Tell him you want to run a straight module. From the book, by the book. Tomb of Horrors is an easy sell. It's got zombie dinosaurs and was written with consultation from Pendleton Ward.
I'm fine with homebrew and house rules
He just takes his bullshittery a bit too far imo
Not for your sake. It might be a great guiding tool for your fruend. I do almost exclusively homebrew, but I read all the modules to understand structure and balance better.
In general DMs should be asking their players what they want out of a story, and do their best to provide a story that is both fun to put in front of the players and filled with what they players wanted so they get to have fun too.
It sounds like he's more interested in his way of DMing and having fun than he is with what you (or all of you) want out of it? You could ask him if he'd be willing to talk to the players about what they want and try to cater a story that everyone is happy with. If he's not interested, then your best bet is to let him DM and go find another game somewhere else. You can be appreciative that he has a DMing style and he wants to have fun telling the story, but that you don't want to ruin his game because you are looking for something different out of it.
Pick your moment away from the game and let him know that you sometimes find the way he is DMing difficult. I would say you enjoy playing with him but when he goes over the top it gets annoying. I would even make up a funny sign to hold up during the game 'Too much' or 'Getting off track' or 'wtf!?' to let him know
Another idea is to say you would really love a turn dming and then model to him the sort of game you want to play.
Regardless, as hard as it may be, you need to let him know, stop playing or risk losing a friend. Good luck