So I am very new to DMing and I wanna look inward first and see if it's my fault for not planning enough for the adventure. All four of them are new to DnD but the 2 adults are SUPER inquisitive and detail oriented so they will ask 400 questions before buying an amulet in a shop, for example. What can I do in these situations without coming off frustrated or pissing someone off and ruining the fun?
How young are the kids? Is their attention span the problem with the adults asking questions? If so, maybe you could implement a 3-question per item rule when shopping to keep the game moving. Just tell them that you're trying to keep the momentum going, and that your shop keepers aren't trying to pull one over on them, and if they have any other questions beyond the three, they can ask you outside of game time.
If the questions are about every room, take note of the types of things they're asking about, and when introducing a new location, include those details in your descriptors, because it sounds like the adults are wanting more of the setting described so their vision of it in their heads matches yours. I sympathize with this because it's frustrating to come up with a plan that would work given the provided information, but the DM says it doesn't because of other details we as the players weren't told prior to vocalizing the plan.
So I am very new to DMing and I wanna look inward first and see if it's my fault for not planning enough for the adventure. All four of them are new to DnD but the 2 adults are SUPER inquisitive and detail oriented so they will ask 400 questions before buying an amulet in a shop, for example. What can I do in these situations without coming off frustrated or pissing someone off and ruining the fun?
I'm currently running a game with 4 adults and 2 kids, 12 and 15, two of the adults are very experienced DND players and the other two are brand new (both of the kids this is their first game too). What I've been doing that seems to be working is throwing in a few little clues here and there when say describing a room by saying something looks "interesting" or "mysterious" where normally I would just describe the item and let the players decide what they feel like investigating and asking questions about everything, as the more experienced players are wont to do. It seems to be working, it provides a little bit of extra guidance for the more experienced players than I'd normally give, but really just serves to cut through a lot of the questions about stuff that is mundane, normal or unimportant, and lets them jump to more focused questions and investigation. They still get to go through the process of RPing and interrogating situations and NPC's, but it cuts out a lot of the stuff that winds up just being filler and goes nowhere that might lose the kids attention. This might not work for all tables, everyone going in knew there were newer players and the kids are the kids of one of the experienced players, but it seems to be working pretty good for us.
When they're asking 400 questions, are you trying to answer them all in character? I find that sometimes I'm bookkeeping/shopping scenarios, roleplaying can take a side seat if it slows the game up.
"OK guys, straight talk, this is me as the DM saying: it's not a trap, it's not cursed, it's not stolen, this is just an amulet of health, here's what it does..."
If you're trying instead to roleplay a cryptic shopkeeper who just says stuff like "aaaahhh yesss, you have very discerning taste, this is a mystical bauble and legend has it that it has straaaaange powers!" then players are 1) going to think there's more to the mystery that needs to be solved and 2) going to think that there's something insidious about it that the shopkeeper is keeping secret from them.
The subject of their questions might not be available at all at any given time especially if you want to get the game going and it stall or brings it to à halt. Especially for magic items, there might not be any on sales and the shopkeeper can just say "if you dont want to buy anything else i will have to let you go about your own business as i have ton of work to do"
For nonmagical items, i somettimes just tell my players. the shop has all the mundane items armor and weapons listed in the PHB see cost for purchase as shopping/haggling is just not my way to enjoy D&D so i want it to be as less à speed bump as possible.
Playing with youngs and adults can be challenging and everyone must understand there might be moments less mature, serious or focused than usual so patience is the key for everyone here.
My first thought is, don’t role play shopping. It almost never advance the story to chat with a shopkeeper about the quality of the rope you’re about to buy. But I suppose some people like to.
I think maybe you have a private discussion with the adults and tell them you’ve noticed the kids are zoning out during these interactions. Could they please tone it it down to maybe 2-3 questions. And since I imagine that was an example of a larger problem, ask them to extend that mindset to other aspects of the game.
What kinds of questions are they asking? Are they looking for a trap or trick in every interaction, or are they looking for lore or what?
So I am very new to DMing and I wanna look inward first and see if it's my fault for not planning enough for the adventure. All four of them are new to DnD but the 2 adults are SUPER inquisitive and detail oriented so they will ask 400 questions before buying an amulet in a shop, for example. What can I do in these situations without coming off frustrated or pissing someone off and ruining the fun?
my wife, my son (11), and i are in a campaign with another couple and their kid (also 11). ostensibly it's a game to get the kids to open up and be creative, especially since one kid is diagnosed autistic and the other is informally (but securely) on the spectrum. the wives mostly encourage the kids or chat until someone tells them it's their turn. i take it upon myself to try to emulate good play at times and to sit with my mouth shut many, many other times. it helps a lot to have a player act as anchor. or more like a planted heckler in the audience? no, no, call the role 'diplomat' (and make sure when you picture me it's with a cape that flutters dashingly, thanks).
so, then my table is nothing like your serious game, right? well, i don't know... i'd call what we're doing a sort of extended initial stage-setting phase where all the players are becoming comfortable in their motivations, options, and roles. it might be that you're in a similar phase yourself. sounds like you need to have a quiet word with the adults about making space for the kids to participate. can't expect adolescents to self advocate and build off social experience they don't own yet. if one kid is a wizard, then it'd be natural for one of the warrior adults to ask the wizard their arcane opinion. if the kid is a barbarian, ask them what their tribe back home would do to a goblin caught stealing. etcetera. the other players will have to get into character and join the kid's character on their level. if the adults are asking a million questions about something, make them do it in character (and, as i suggested, have them ask the others for advice). hopefully the adults too will become comfortable in the world and your DM style and reduce their analysis and suspicion. later, like Xalthu said above, you can summarize things like shop keepers and questioning informants to cut for time. however, i think it's hugely important to start with that when you're starting out a mixed group. ymmv.
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unhappy at the way in which we lost individual purchases for one-off subclasses, magic items, and monsters?
tell them you don't like features disappeared quietly in the night: providefeedback!
Role-play. All your shopkeepers are too busy and brisk to answer a million questions from people who aren’t buying. For example at some point just say the following:
The shop-keeper looks visibly irritated at the repeated questions..
“You going to buy something or not? I’m a busy orc and, Madam Yessu! Clook at this fine Nethrantim bracer in your style, just came in…”
the shop keeper puts the amulet you were looking at away and directs his attention to a regular customer.
Role-play. All your shopkeepers are too busy and brisk to answer a million questions from people who aren’t buying. For example at some point just say the following:
The shop-keeper looks visibly irritated at the repeated questions..
“You going to buy something or not? I’m a busy orc and, Madam Yessu! Clook at this fine Nethrantim bracer in your style, just came in…”
the shop keeper puts the amulet you were looking at away and directs his attention to a regular customer.
I would disagree. Continuing to roleplay mostly sends the message to your players that something important is happening and that there's more to be discovered in a scene. Your players are more likely to want to "get to the bottom" of this whole amulet thing if (from their perspective) the shopkeeper is suddenly being coy about it.
Some situations are best handled straightforwardly among the players rather than by the characters.
Unfortunately, there isn't really enough info in your post to figure out what might be going on and make some good suggestions.
1) In general, if you want to keep questions down a bit, then don't give out so many details that gives the players something to ask about. The more detailed, nuanced or mysterious the DMs answers to questions become then the more questions those answers can generate. So, when you want to get away from too many questions, keep descriptions concise.
2) You don't actually give any idea of what the "400" questions might be. You also mention being frustrated and not wanting to piss people off. However, it sounds like you are a bit irritated, so your first step should be to figure out why. What makes it frustrating? Even detail oriented folks will have no more questions to ask if you tell them that there aren't any more relevant details to ask about (however, you need to make sure that is true if you choose to make such a comment).
In addition, how are the kids enjoying it? Do they like listening to the questions and answers because it helps them to better imagine and picture the situations involved or do they find it slow and boring with all these questions that seem to them unimportant? If the players are ok with the questions then you should work on figuring out what is bothering you about them.
3) Are you using a battle map and tokens to supplement your descriptions or is everything theatre of the mind? I find that using a battle map can often save a lot of questions since the visible layout will help answer a lot of common questions (at least for combat).
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So I am very new to DMing and I wanna look inward first and see if it's my fault for not planning enough for the adventure. All four of them are new to DnD but the 2 adults are SUPER inquisitive and detail oriented so they will ask 400 questions before buying an amulet in a shop, for example. What can I do in these situations without coming off frustrated or pissing someone off and ruining the fun?
How young are the kids? Is their attention span the problem with the adults asking questions? If so, maybe you could implement a 3-question per item rule when shopping to keep the game moving. Just tell them that you're trying to keep the momentum going, and that your shop keepers aren't trying to pull one over on them, and if they have any other questions beyond the three, they can ask you outside of game time.
If the questions are about every room, take note of the types of things they're asking about, and when introducing a new location, include those details in your descriptors, because it sounds like the adults are wanting more of the setting described so their vision of it in their heads matches yours. I sympathize with this because it's frustrating to come up with a plan that would work given the provided information, but the DM says it doesn't because of other details we as the players weren't told prior to vocalizing the plan.
I'm currently running a game with 4 adults and 2 kids, 12 and 15, two of the adults are very experienced DND players and the other two are brand new (both of the kids this is their first game too). What I've been doing that seems to be working is throwing in a few little clues here and there when say describing a room by saying something looks "interesting" or "mysterious" where normally I would just describe the item and let the players decide what they feel like investigating and asking questions about everything, as the more experienced players are wont to do. It seems to be working, it provides a little bit of extra guidance for the more experienced players than I'd normally give, but really just serves to cut through a lot of the questions about stuff that is mundane, normal or unimportant, and lets them jump to more focused questions and investigation. They still get to go through the process of RPing and interrogating situations and NPC's, but it cuts out a lot of the stuff that winds up just being filler and goes nowhere that might lose the kids attention. This might not work for all tables, everyone going in knew there were newer players and the kids are the kids of one of the experienced players, but it seems to be working pretty good for us.
When they're asking 400 questions, are you trying to answer them all in character? I find that sometimes I'm bookkeeping/shopping scenarios, roleplaying can take a side seat if it slows the game up.
"OK guys, straight talk, this is me as the DM saying: it's not a trap, it's not cursed, it's not stolen, this is just an amulet of health, here's what it does..."
If you're trying instead to roleplay a cryptic shopkeeper who just says stuff like "aaaahhh yesss, you have very discerning taste, this is a mystical bauble and legend has it that it has straaaaange powers!" then players are 1) going to think there's more to the mystery that needs to be solved and 2) going to think that there's something insidious about it that the shopkeeper is keeping secret from them.
The subject of their questions might not be available at all at any given time especially if you want to get the game going and it stall or brings it to à halt. Especially for magic items, there might not be any on sales and the shopkeeper can just say "if you dont want to buy anything else i will have to let you go about your own business as i have ton of work to do"
For nonmagical items, i somettimes just tell my players. the shop has all the mundane items armor and weapons listed in the PHB see cost for purchase as shopping/haggling is just not my way to enjoy D&D so i want it to be as less à speed bump as possible.
Playing with youngs and adults can be challenging and everyone must understand there might be moments less mature, serious or focused than usual so patience is the key for everyone here.
My first thought is, don’t role play shopping. It almost never advance the story to chat with a shopkeeper about the quality of the rope you’re about to buy. But I suppose some people like to.
I think maybe you have a private discussion with the adults and tell them you’ve noticed the kids are zoning out during these interactions. Could they please tone it it down to maybe 2-3 questions. And since I imagine that was an example of a larger problem, ask them to extend that mindset to other aspects of the game.
What kinds of questions are they asking? Are they looking for a trap or trick in every interaction, or are they looking for lore or what?
my wife, my son (11), and i are in a campaign with another couple and their kid (also 11). ostensibly it's a game to get the kids to open up and be creative, especially since one kid is diagnosed autistic and the other is informally (but securely) on the spectrum. the wives mostly encourage the kids or chat until someone tells them it's their turn. i take it upon myself to try to emulate good play at times and to sit with my mouth shut many, many other times. it helps a lot to have a player act as anchor. or more like a planted heckler in the audience? no, no, call the role 'diplomat' (and make sure when you picture me it's with a cape that flutters dashingly, thanks).
so, then my table is nothing like your serious game, right? well, i don't know... i'd call what we're doing a sort of extended initial stage-setting phase where all the players are becoming comfortable in their motivations, options, and roles. it might be that you're in a similar phase yourself. sounds like you need to have a quiet word with the adults about making space for the kids to participate. can't expect adolescents to self advocate and build off social experience they don't own yet. if one kid is a wizard, then it'd be natural for one of the warrior adults to ask the wizard their arcane opinion. if the kid is a barbarian, ask them what their tribe back home would do to a goblin caught stealing. etcetera. the other players will have to get into character and join the kid's character on their level. if the adults are asking a million questions about something, make them do it in character (and, as i suggested, have them ask the others for advice). hopefully the adults too will become comfortable in the world and your DM style and reduce their analysis and suspicion. later, like Xalthu said above, you can summarize things like shop keepers and questioning informants to cut for time. however, i think it's hugely important to start with that when you're starting out a mixed group. ymmv.
unhappy at the way in which we lost individual purchases for one-off subclasses, magic items, and monsters?
tell them you don't like features disappeared quietly in the night: provide feedback!
Thanks for all the replies guys! I will try them tonight!
Role-play. All your shopkeepers are too busy and brisk to answer a million questions from people who aren’t buying. For example at some point just say the following:
The shop-keeper looks visibly irritated at the repeated questions..
“You going to buy something or not? I’m a busy orc and, Madam Yessu! Clook at this fine Nethrantim bracer in your style, just came in…”
the shop keeper puts the amulet you were looking at away and directs his attention to a regular customer.
I would disagree. Continuing to roleplay mostly sends the message to your players that something important is happening and that there's more to be discovered in a scene. Your players are more likely to want to "get to the bottom" of this whole amulet thing if (from their perspective) the shopkeeper is suddenly being coy about it.
Some situations are best handled straightforwardly among the players rather than by the characters.
Unfortunately, there isn't really enough info in your post to figure out what might be going on and make some good suggestions.
1) In general, if you want to keep questions down a bit, then don't give out so many details that gives the players something to ask about. The more detailed, nuanced or mysterious the DMs answers to questions become then the more questions those answers can generate. So, when you want to get away from too many questions, keep descriptions concise.
2) You don't actually give any idea of what the "400" questions might be. You also mention being frustrated and not wanting to piss people off. However, it sounds like you are a bit irritated, so your first step should be to figure out why. What makes it frustrating? Even detail oriented folks will have no more questions to ask if you tell them that there aren't any more relevant details to ask about (however, you need to make sure that is true if you choose to make such a comment).
In addition, how are the kids enjoying it? Do they like listening to the questions and answers because it helps them to better imagine and picture the situations involved or do they find it slow and boring with all these questions that seem to them unimportant? If the players are ok with the questions then you should work on figuring out what is bothering you about them.
3) Are you using a battle map and tokens to supplement your descriptions or is everything theatre of the mind? I find that using a battle map can often save a lot of questions since the visible layout will help answer a lot of common questions (at least for combat).