Has he ever played an RPG video game like Skyrim? I feel that most of these games have non-combat elements to them and may be a way for him to "get" it if he can't learn by watching his fellow players. I'm not sure how else to get through to him, especially since he IS capable of the RP aspect. Does he just not find it interesting or logical to switch between combat and RP-ing?
Welcome to the wonderful world of the RPG Referee!
Of course, PVP is not what most DMs sign on for, and certainly not what you are looking to achieve. So let me start with a story: A long time ago in a sword coast far away, I was a very inexperienced DM-by-default and my little brother was the problem PC in the group. He had the basics and understood that a dagger and a magic missle did the same basic damage but he had some trouble with the concept of consequence. He once threw a dagger at a duke, rolled a nat 20, followed by a 4 and the entire party was hanged as assassins. My brother loved it! Even though he had to create a new 1rst level character. My friends were bordering on violent. Their PCs and my own (it was like session 3 with me as the DM because our prior DM had personal problems and wasn't playing anymore), were all about 5th level.... In ADnD 2e this took like 35 sessions.
Anyway, my brother was uninvited to play EVER AGAIN on pain of death and I wasn't overly welcome for a while because I had requested him to join the group. So in the weeks prior to my return to that table, I had my brother play a dozen or so solo modules straight out of the boxes with me as the DM. Because it was summer and for other reasons, we played nearly every day for like 3 weeks and then, out of the blue, through no fault of his own, I realized I needed to kill his character. So I set it up and the day after he reached 5th level his character was having a drink and waiting for his contact for a job. The bartender served him his whiskey and backed off after a brief glare. He gulped the drink down and waved for the bottle (my brother grinned at me stating he wasn't planning to pay for this bottle either). That is when I told him to roll a Poison save at -4. He made the roll and realized the NPC had poisoned him. He said he was going to get up and I handed him the 5x7 index card on which I had written the details of the poison. The poison was fatal. The rolls were just to tell how long you spent flopping around on the ground prior to your vomit covered death spasm.
He almost cried.
I told him that is pretty much what he did to the group that he joined back in May and he actually understood what they went through. I then told him that his character woke up in a cold sweat having dreamed the entire thing.... Which is also what I told my friends of their characters the morning they were to meet with a new rogue (now at 5th level) and go visit with the Duke.
The point I realized, and made, was that I had the ability to let him learn on his own what it takes to be a good player - not just some @$$ at the table. That group stayed together for nearly two years and my brother still plays today. Sometimes it isn't possible to give a new player the one-on-one it takes to bring them out of bad form but as the DM it is gratifying when you can. Hope this helps.
Maybe just tell him this straight out, show him this thread. Not to say you haven't been honest with him, but I know we all wanna soften blows for our friends and players. Tell him it's nothing to do with him as a person, but you don't know how to reach him in the context as a player. It's difficult and feels like a confrontation, but it's for the best and you should tell him so.
Sit down with him and hammer out his backstory. Bonds, ideals, flaws, alignment, all of that. Establish them with him and try to use it as best you can to guide his actions. Even if he doesn't choose "would never stab a duke" as a character trait, sometimes fleshing out a character can ground them in the world they play in and keep those most chaotic neutral tendancies at bay.
Also, talk with the other players, and let them know that they should help guide him in and out of character. By this, I mean they should be clear about helping you teach him the options and nuances while staying true to the game and their characters. Tell your party that if his character is out of line, they can and should react to it true to the narrative and their characters. Be as nice and patient as possible, but spare him the consequences of duke stabbing and he won't learn nothing. Hold him responsible for his decisions.
Has he ever played an RPG video game like Skyrim? I feel that most of these games have non-combat elements to them and may be a way for him to "get" it if he can't learn by watching his fellow players. I'm not sure how else to get through to him, especially since he IS capable of the RP aspect. Does he just not find it interesting or logical to switch between combat and RP-ing?
Welcome to the wonderful world of the RPG Referee!
Of course, PVP is not what most DMs sign on for, and certainly not what you are looking to achieve. So let me start with a story: A long time ago in a sword coast far away, I was a very inexperienced DM-by-default and my little brother was the problem PC in the group. He had the basics and understood that a dagger and a magic missle did the same basic damage but he had some trouble with the concept of consequence. He once threw a dagger at a duke, rolled a nat 20, followed by a 4 and the entire party was hanged as assassins. My brother loved it! Even though he had to create a new 1rst level character. My friends were bordering on violent. Their PCs and my own (it was like session 3 with me as the DM because our prior DM had personal problems and wasn't playing anymore), were all about 5th level.... In ADnD 2e this took like 35 sessions.
Anyway, my brother was uninvited to play EVER AGAIN on pain of death and I wasn't overly welcome for a while because I had requested him to join the group. So in the weeks prior to my return to that table, I had my brother play a dozen or so solo modules straight out of the boxes with me as the DM. Because it was summer and for other reasons, we played nearly every day for like 3 weeks and then, out of the blue, through no fault of his own, I realized I needed to kill his character. So I set it up and the day after he reached 5th level his character was having a drink and waiting for his contact for a job. The bartender served him his whiskey and backed off after a brief glare. He gulped the drink down and waved for the bottle (my brother grinned at me stating he wasn't planning to pay for this bottle either). That is when I told him to roll a Poison save at -4. He made the roll and realized the NPC had poisoned him. He said he was going to get up and I handed him the 5x7 index card on which I had written the details of the poison. The poison was fatal. The rolls were just to tell how long you spent flopping around on the ground prior to your vomit covered death spasm.
He almost cried.
I told him that is pretty much what he did to the group that he joined back in May and he actually understood what they went through. I then told him that his character woke up in a cold sweat having dreamed the entire thing.... Which is also what I told my friends of their characters the morning they were to meet with a new rogue (now at 5th level) and go visit with the Duke.
The point I realized, and made, was that I had the ability to let him learn on his own what it takes to be a good player - not just some @$$ at the table. That group stayed together for nearly two years and my brother still plays today. Sometimes it isn't possible to give a new player the one-on-one it takes to bring them out of bad form but as the DM it is gratifying when you can. Hope this helps.
I do not like the word... prisoner. It implies a helpless state, and I assure you, I am never helpless.
--Artemis Entreri
Maybe just tell him this straight out, show him this thread. Not to say you haven't been honest with him, but I know we all wanna soften blows for our friends and players. Tell him it's nothing to do with him as a person, but you don't know how to reach him in the context as a player. It's difficult and feels like a confrontation, but it's for the best and you should tell him so.
Sit down with him and hammer out his backstory. Bonds, ideals, flaws, alignment, all of that. Establish them with him and try to use it as best you can to guide his actions. Even if he doesn't choose "would never stab a duke" as a character trait, sometimes fleshing out a character can ground them in the world they play in and keep those most chaotic neutral tendancies at bay.
Also, talk with the other players, and let them know that they should help guide him in and out of character. By this, I mean they should be clear about helping you teach him the options and nuances while staying true to the game and their characters. Tell your party that if his character is out of line, they can and should react to it true to the narrative and their characters. Be as nice and patient as possible, but spare him the consequences of duke stabbing and he won't learn nothing. Hold him responsible for his decisions.
#OpenDnD. #DnDBegone