I am running a campaign (LMoP) at the request of my 11-year-old son, the group ended up being him, my sister (his aunt, 31), and her friend (30).  The older two have been helpful in teaching my son how to play and how the game mechanics work.  Overall sessions are going well, however, my son sometime has difficulty focusing on the game. He plays with dice (loudly), lacks focus, and despite everyone's urgings won't engage his character with the group.  (Mostly related to his backstory.  He is a rogue and former member of a thrives guild who are present in game and semi- actively seeking him out.  After multiple prompts he still won't tell the party what's going on.  I have a plan to draw this out in game.)

Understanding the challenges, widely varied ages and experience levels, and the fact that 11-year-olds have their own ideas about how the world works, any thoughts or ideas on making the sessions more cohesive?

I think it is to do with the content of the story. If you go for things that your sons like (for example, if he is into star wars do a star wars campaign) but update it to have enough depth for the adults, everyone should enjoy it. Also make sure to add humour and silliness for your son. It can be funny characters with funny voices or unusual situations.

Lots of combat can be good. People like to fight monsters, especially when they are younger. You could give the RP sections to let the adults shine and the combat could be where your son shines.

i honestly think he is too young to play. even if he could get his head into the game (for a 11yo might a little difficulty but he is not far from it, i know a group of girls who started to play at 12-15years just by them self, without any experienced DM for them) the age-gap in the table would still be too large, it's cool to teaching him and i'll absolutely not tell you to stop but the group will have to adapt to him, the other way around would be too difficulty, maybe in a couple of years...

Thanks for the feedback

I have a somewhat opposite scenario that might help.

When I was a teenager my best friend's mom wanted to play in our group. It was me, her 2 sons and a couple other friends. This lady was a "great neighborhood mom" who watched out for us, fed us, took us to the lake, movies, etc. Kept us out of so much trouble at about the high school age. She had no idea how to play the game we were going to play.

No idea how to play? Go rules lite getting more detailed over time. You don't want to overwhelm new players of any age.

Players have a hard time engaging in deep campaign plots? Use simple, short encounters to help them get a better sense of how they see their characters. Go off script for characters motivations, etc.

Players have a difficult time engaging with others or role play? Public speaking and performance anxiety. Some groups never RP but, one needs to at least get comfortable enough to state what they want their character to do. It's a big help when a DM can embellish and make a character's decisions more impactful. Eventually, the player might ask to make the embellishments.

DM: Your Elven Ranger sees the bandits attacking the caravan just at the edge of the forest up ahead, what do you do?

Player: Can I run over there and get my weapons ready?

DM: The forest is thick with brambles and fallen logs, make an Acrobatics check. *player rolls* You jump over a fallen log an nimbly speed to the edge of the forest and draw out your bow.

After the DM has explained the situation and what roll is needed, the player might chose to say: I want to vault a tree stump, kick flip off another and go into a ground tumble coming up with both of my scimitars drawn. I would encourage this.

Sadly, the pandemic is destroying social activities for many of us. I feel your son would probably benefit the most from playing with his peers, even if  that means via Skype, Roll20, etc. Every families internet rules are different so, obviously you have to determine your son's responsibility level against the threats.

Good thoughts. I have considered approaching his school and seeing if they wanted to start an after school group, but my wife already thinks I play too much as is.

Quote from EMTMAN >>

I am running a campaign (LMoP) at the request of my 11-year-old son, the group ended up being him, my sister (his aunt, 31), and her friend (30).  The older two have been helpful in teaching my son how to play and how the game mechanics work.  Overall sessions are going well, however, my son sometime has difficulty focusing on the game. He plays with dice (loudly), lacks focus, and despite everyone's urgings won't engage his character with the group.  (Mostly related to his backstory.  He is a rogue and former member of a thrives guild who are present in game and semi- actively seeking him out.  After multiple prompts he still won't tell the party what's going on.  I have a plan to draw this out in game.)

Understanding the challenges, widely varied ages and experience levels, and the fact that 11-year-olds have their own ideas about how the world works, any thoughts or ideas on making the sessions more cohesive?

 My first campaign was with my dad, and it really influenced how I DM. My advice, definitely do the voices thing. My dad played Klarg like a self-interested NY cabby, and I still haven't forgotten it. I played Maxeene, the talking horse in Dragonheist, like Patrick Warburton in his honor.