Today was a sad day. I wimped out on my game because my players just weren't into it. After trying to get started three times, they kept getting distracted by their phones and another friend playing xbox. So after the third "Your party is at..." I said to myself forget it. I packed up my stuff and left.

I feel bad but I shouldn't have MAKE them play.

Justified. I'd be rather annoyed too.

Was this something you were asked to do for them or something you wanted them to try?

Dude - my sincere sympathies - that's hard thing to have to do :(

I have been seriously thinking of printing out everyone's character sheets, handing them out, and banning phones, for that reason.

It's sad, but I don't think many people anymore can stay off of social media, or web browsing when they're not in the spotlight.

It's not even a Player thing - one of my most engage Players ( when they are in the spotlight ) is also one of my worst offenders when they are not.

You don't have to make them play - we just need to be clear: if you aren't paying attention, I'm not going to entertain you.

I think you really need to have a sit down with your group now though, and work out what happened, and why - and how to stop it from happening again.

 

Was this something you were asked to do for them or something you wanted them to try?

 If it was this I would be annoyed as there is a lot of effort that goes in to getting a game together even if you're mainly improv.

However with my group sometimes they have been at it a long time and the game can fizzle out a bit. Sometimes you hit a flat spot on the campaign or adventure.  I would have a chat it could be they need a break or a change of scenery?  Best bet is alway to have a chat.

Wimped out seems bad phrasing, all of you have better things to do than sit around with you coercing them into fumbling through a session. Personally I would feel more bad about forcing them to sit through a session they don't care about than I would about ending a session because of a lack of engagement.

I have also been considering printing out everyone's sheets and seeing how a full paper session goes. One player is often clearly not paying attention and the distractions are enjoyable but more regular than I would like, but players checking things on their own also happens a lot and is useful. So it is something I am holding in reserve for now.

My first group collapsed because we didn't have a regular time that was good for all of us so every session would need a date setting, and every single session I was needing to chase up players 3 or 4 times to get answers for suitable dates, if I am consistently chasing them that much they are clearly not interested. The 1 player that reliably provided dates was transplanted into my 2nd group and I think everyone is happier for it.

I agree that talking things out is a good plan, especially if severe distractions are a regular occurrence, hopefully a bit of communication will sort things out, but if not then at least you will know where you stand.

Quote from TheCivilisedGoblin >>

Justified. I'd be rather annoyed too.

Was this something you were asked to do for them or something you wanted them to try?

 They had asked me to GM. So I was annoyed when after asking me to run a game they decided to do other stuff. 

I agree that "wimping out" is too harsh an evaluation. We DMs have a tendency to think "the game could be so much better - could be better for the Players - they could all be having a perfectly amazing time, if only I .... ".

The game is only half ( or less ) our responsibility, and the social dynamic is only 1/Xth ( where X is the number of people sitting at the table ) our responsibility.

I think explicitly working out "the social contract" might be in order: The DM is responsible for ... The Players are responsible for.... and hold everyone to that, including yourself.

Untangling this situation is not a license for you to merely lambaste your Players for the things that annoy you. That might be an opportunity for your Players to give you feedback on what they like and dislike. Like any social relationship, everyone needs to provide input.

Maybe you can turn it from a confrontation into a discussion where everyone can contribute to making everyone's experience better?

From what you've said it sounds like they were being *****. If you're players dont pay you the curtesy of paying attention then they're wasting you're time. Stopping was the right thing to do.

Paper character sheets is definitely the way to go. This isn't 3.5/4, you don't need your character sheet to be digital. Spells on note cards might be handy, but every bit of 5e I've played gets on just fine with paper and pencils. Our current DM uses a laptop behind his screen, but he has the common courtesy to be focused on the game the whole time. 

We all have our phones, and if there's something going on in life (one couple has a kid) there might be an occasional checking of a text. But otherwise, we put our phones in our bags, character sheets on the table with our dice, and we play. 

It's just flat out rude to be checking your phone while someone is trying to talk to you, and that doesn't change just because so many people do it. Sorry, I could rant for a while about this. But everyone saying to try paper character sheets is on the right track. No one needs a phone for 5e.

To be clear, OP, I would have done the same thing. And I would have been pissed, not feeling bad for them at all. They can go pound sand until they learn to have basic respect for other people. 

I'm having this problem. I bought a web subscription to this site so I can share all of the content I bought, and I found it incredibly convenient to have all the numbers added in, but now everyone plays on their phone between turns and often have to fumble to re-open the app on their turn! It isn't really all THAT bad, but it could be so much better.

I am thinking I'm just going to print out everyone's character sheets and ban phones during the session.

Where I'm likely to get push-back from my Players on this idea, is that I use a laptop for everything: Dnd Beyond rule reference, notes, online tools, etc.

I can see them being a bit annoyed that I retain use of digital tools while taking theirs away.

Quote from Vedexent >>

Where I'm likely to get push-back from my Players on this idea, is that I use a laptop for everything: Dnd Beyond rule reference, notes, online tools, etc.

I can see them being a bit annoyed that I retain use of digital tools while taking theirs away.

Just tell them tough luck. Unlike them, you are active the whole time--you are interacting with each player on their turn, you don't have down time. Which means you won't be checking G-D FB between their turns. Tell them that, if your use of technology becomes distracting, then they can bring this complaint up again.

The other option is what I know some people have resorted to when teaching a classroom full of students who would not stay off their phones--one could buy a cell phone jammer. Of course, this is illegal in the US, and so I would not advocate that one do this if one lives in the US. You can't even find them here with normal routes because they are illegal. But that said, shutting down their cell phones that aggressively probably means you should just not play with that group anymore anyway :)

For my games we have a bit of a collection of digital and physical material. I have a computer running so I can monitor the stream, one of our DMs uses his laptop to manage much of the tedious stuff, like initiative, and the other two DMs just use paper. I have made it clear to my players that I would like them to put all devices away when we play, but it hasn't been a sticking point. A few of my players will knit while we game, I'll see the phones out between turns, and I know that some of them have Twitch up on their phones so they can monitor chat. 

I don't like having phones at my table, but it's a concession I've made due to the digital heavy world we live in. I do, however, require them to have a paper character sheet and physical dice. I've also taken to calling out who's turn is up and next, this way they are aware that paying attention is necessary. While it hasn't become a problem, I have also warned them that if they take too long on their turns deciding what to do, I'll skip them. I get that there's this proliferation of social media and games, I get that players can be easily bored if they're not acting, so I've had to relax on my rule.

With Wysperra's situation...I feel you were in the right to pack up and excuse yourself. There's a difference between being mildly distracted and simply being rude. I feel that your players were rude by inviting you to DM and then not showing any interest in the game. Give them one more chance, explain that they need to put all that stuff down and pay attention, and if it doesn't work, their loss.

Surprised that other people didn't comment on this.  I have never played DnD in a room with a television that is currently on (not counting PAX East, where the "room" in a hangar).  That would be a giant negative for me.  I would either find a better play space or "book" the room by informing any non-playing roommates when you are playing and ask them to yield the space.  The TV is a much bigger distraction to me than cell phones, both figuratively and literally.

Quote from Hybridfive >>

Surprised that other people didn't comment on this.  I have never played DnD in a room with a television that is currently on (not counting PAX East, where the "room" in a hangar).  That would be a giant negative for me.  I would either find a better play space or "book" the room by informing any non-playing roommates when you are playing and ask them to yield the space.  The TV is a much bigger distraction to me than cell phones, both figuratively and literally.

I agree this is a big issue too. I don't know which would be more distracting for me--probably the TV. I just got on a phone rant above and forgot about the TV part. I was once a jerk in this particular way--years and years ago, when the DM railroaded my character into a jail cell and then gave me no opportunity to escape or interact with anyone else for over two hours, I finally just said "let me know when I can do something" and I turned on a movie. On the TV in the same room. I probably should have just left, not taken it out on the other players. They all kept playing and having a good time, but I think the TV was still a distraction for them. (I finally got to do something...over another hour later, almost at the end of the movie.)

I also think the fact that it was a video game probably would make it worse. Someone else being active about the TV would draw more attention.